Not so supportive compliments - or not really compliments at all

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gkauf744
gkauf744 Posts: 128 Member
in Motivation and Support
I've lost some weight, to the point that people are noticing. And I'm kind of a shy person, or I don't really like to be under the spotlight, so the comments make me nervous sometimes. I just got this one, from a person who is overweight, and who has told me he has struggled with his weight at times. He said, "well, if it's what you want..." Of course it's what I want. I worked hard for it. I am just now at a healthy BMI, why wouldn't I want this? Grr.
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Replies

  • Cardio4Cupcakes
    Cardio4Cupcakes Posts: 289 Member
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    That's a really weird thing for him to say. But some people are happy being bigger- I think that whole Big is Beautiful campaign is to thank for that.
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
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    Paying it too much attention, smile and brush it off. Anything else is a waste of your energy.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    The only way to deflect the detractors is to stand tall and own it. Hard for an introvert, I know. I respond kindly to all compliments back-handed or otherwise, and seriously tell the listener that it was very, very hard work and that I had a lot of help. It deflects any angst or jealousy mixed in. If it's really, really hard then they have an excuse why they haven't yet. If I got lots of help it's because I'm not as "strong willed" as they are. Win-win.
  • jadezia
    jadezia Posts: 45 Member
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    Sounds like they're jealous. It also sounds like you know you're doing what you're doing is for YOU, and no one else. So, keep on working to be healthier for yourself, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
    You're doing amazing, congrats on being in a healthy BMI!!
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    999tigger wrote: »
    Paying it too much attention, smile and brush it off. Anything else is a waste of your energy.

    well energy burns calories right?
  • Sciakath
    Sciakath Posts: 7 Member
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    First of all, CONGRATULATIONS for your weight loss! Woo hoo! OK, I hope that did not make you feel too awkward. When people make similar comments/compliments to your face, remember who you are getting healthy for, and that nobody else's opinion matters. Keep up the great work and give YOURSELF some praise and pats on the back!
  • kamakazeekim
    kamakazeekim Posts: 1,183 Member
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    I totally get it! I have lost over 130 pounds over the past 2 years. I always get asked if I'm done losing weight yet (I'm still 130 pounds), I get called a skinny b!t.ch, my neighbor no longer calls me by my name but just yells "hey skinny" all the time...and it annoys me how people who never used to talk to me are suddenly telling me how good I look and acting like we're besties.
  • BramageOMG
    BramageOMG Posts: 319 Member
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    I get: Wow, you are REALLY skinny.. and you know what I want to say back......
  • dfranch
    dfranch Posts: 207 Member
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    I know how you feel. When people first started commenting on my weight loss, I really didn't know what to say. It could be almost uncomfortable.

    Just wait for the next treat. At some point people will ask if you are meaning to lose weight and aren't "sick".
    Or my personal favorite, "You're not still trying to lose weight ... you're too thin."
  • estherdfoster
    estherdfoster Posts: 127 Member
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    What i use to do when someone talked about my weight if i was too skinny or ill or losing more, i just take out a sticky and write my "height and weight" on there and then i hand it to them and tell them to pick any calorie site online and they'll get their answer. haha Best way to avoid them instead of answering them back to start a conversation that is going to bother you, is let them find the answer themselves. Once they look it up an see your in a healthy weight range or bmi, all they can do is shrug it off and not come with a comeback. It eliminates other that pry too because when they want to know an ask someone or that person, all they can say is "yeah she looks real skinny but surprisingly shes "healthy"..."how is she healthy, theres no way".."well that's what it says online".."well im going to look"...they all will be so busy trying to look it up, it is going to bite them back an make them wander about their own weight. Then that is when they will approach you asking how you lost the weight for "their" own personal needs. lol It happens..i just smirk whenever they finally give in an ask me..
  • WickedPineapple
    WickedPineapple Posts: 698 Member
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    People say weird things to you when you've lost a fair amount of weight. I've also had many people not say anything at all, then express later (when someone else brings it up) that they did notice I lost weight, but they didn't know how to bring it up. I agree that you just have to brush off any negativity and keep at it.
  • KelGen02
    KelGen02 Posts: 668 Member
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    Most likely jealousy or self esteem issues... I agree with 999tiger just smile and move along. You do what you need to do for you... everyone else doesn't matter! Great job on the weight loss...
    @cardio4 you are right as far as some people are happier being bigger, but I don't think it has anything to do with the fact that the are big. As a BIG girl, who hasn't always been a big girl, I am just as happy with my life as I was when I was thinner. My Happiness is not dictated by my pant size. I personally have friends who were unhappy and blamed it on being over weight, lost a ton of weight yet are still very unhappy in their lives. I think the Big is Beautiful campaign is directed more towards learning to love and accept yourself for who you are and not what you look like, all people are beautiful. I have always been a firm believer that happiness is an inside job. Society has a distorted view on what people should look like, it's plastered all over the TV... your either too fat and need to lay off the ho ho's or too skinny and need to eat a cheese burger or two... ;) I personally think you look beautiful in both of your profile pictures. Awesome job! :)
  • emaybe
    emaybe Posts: 187 Member
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    Sounds like he's just trying to make himself feel better for not putting in the effort.
  • JoanFitnessWarrior
    JoanFitnessWarrior Posts: 4 Member
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    Congratulations on your success and don't let anyone discourage you from being the very best you! Continued success to you :wink:
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
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    Somebody is jelly
  • NewMeSM75
    NewMeSM75 Posts: 971 Member
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    At one point in my life, I cared what people thought and said. But the older I get, the more I just don't care. I do what is best for me. I focus on the people who matter most in my life and tolerate the ones that don't (when I have to). I treat people nice and do what I think is right. That's all that matters...

    Guess what? It's freaking awesome... It's peaceful !

    Congratulations on your loss. Hold your head high and be proud. Don't let anyone take that from you...
  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
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    arditarose wrote: »
    Somebody is jelly

    ^ mega ultra grape jelly

  • gkauf744
    gkauf744 Posts: 128 Member
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    arditarose wrote: »
    Somebody is jelly

    :smiley:
  • Altagracia220
    Altagracia220 Posts: 876 Member
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    He doesn't want to be the only overweight person in the work setting.

    What did you say before he said "Well if that's what you want"?
  • MindySaysWhaaat
    MindySaysWhaaat Posts: 401 Member
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    It used to make me uncomfortable when people would compliment me on my weight too. I had to learn to basically not take anyone's comments seriously, and I try not to over analyze what people had to say about my weight.

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