What do you guys think?

bootsiejayne

http://breanna.littlethings.com/breanna-bond-weight-loss/?utm_source=hmc&utm_medium=Facebook&utm_campaign=shocking

I know the little girl needed to lose some weight and develop a healthy lifestyle, but the strict regime her parents have her on makes me a little uneasy. Every lifestyle has to have a little flexibility to it. It seems to me that it would be really easy for this little girl to develop an eating disorder. I sincerely hope she doesn't. I hope she always values herself above her weight. It's so hard to grow up and have self worth that is independent from the number on the scale when so much of your surroundings are about your size.

PeachyPlum

I don't know, it doesn't seem that bad to me (although I can't watch the video from work).

The article made it sound like they just taught her to make healthier food choices and scheduled some mando fun in the form of a daily family hike. I bet the family got to spend some good quality time together, walking and talking.

Maybe the video goes into more detail. If they were forcing her to religiously count calories or saying "We all have to go on a walk because Breanna is fat" that would be a different thing entirely, and I couldn't get behind that.

macgurlnet

I'm really not seeing how it's a strict regimen?? I may not agree that they need to go low fat/sugar but to each their own. It doesn't sound like they've done anything harmful at all.

I didn't watch the video in its entirety but unless they're only allowing her to eat a very small number of foods...I don't really see an issue. She's happy, much healthier, and they did this as a family, rather than just making her eat better and exercise while they kept doing their usual routine.

Like @PeachyPlum said - unless they were degrading her while doing this, I don't see an issue.

~Lyssa

Rogstar

I can't watch the video right now, so this comment is just based on the text.

I don't know...186lbs at 9 is incredibly dangerous. I was the largest in my family, but I never weighed more than 135 at 5'-7" (until college!) My nearly 9yo daughter hasn't hit 60lbs yet and she's among the tallest in her class.

It's the parent's responsibility to instill healthy habits in their children. Walking and eating properly is hardly the worst that they could do to the kids. I hope they make it fun, and spending time together walking is pretty awesome.

I haven't walked with my entire family since last summer ended. It's more of a selfish thing though. Walking the dog is my thinking time, and I enjoyed it enough to do it throughout the winter. Maybe I should make everyone do it, but I would miss my ME time. I could always go out twice I guess. My husband sure needs it (don't tell him I said that!! )

Anyway, since we don't have an "everyone must walk" policy, I do "make" the kids do at least one sport. Soccer, baseball, swimming, gymnastics...It doesn't matter, but they have to be active outside of school. Plus, they go to a program after school in which there is copious amounts of gym and playground activity. So, I guess I don't see a problem with diet control and extra exercise as long as the kids and parents are doing it for the right reasons.

segacs

What bothers me more is the insinuation that the other kids who bullied, teased and called her "fatty" were blameless.

Yes, it sounds like she was unhealthily overweight, and for her own health and well-being it's great that her parents helped her lose weight. But the other kids who shamed and bullied her were wrong to do so. That doesn't excuse or justify their actions.

Where were the parents, teachers and adults here? They should've spoken up -- before she lost the weight -- to tell her classmates in no uncertain terms that bullying or shaming or harassing people due to their appearance is wrong.

crazyjerseygirl

segacs wrote: »

What bothers me more is the insinuation that the other kids who bullied, teased and called her "fatty" were blameless.

Yes, it sounds like she was unhealthily overweight, and for her own health and well-being it's great that her parents helped her lose weight. But the other kids who shamed and bullied her were wrong to do so. That doesn't excuse or justify their actions.

Where were the parents, teachers and adults here? They should've spoken up -- before she lost the weight -- to tell her classmates in no uncertain terms that bullying or shaming or harassing people due to their appearance is wrong.

Preach!

crazyjerseygirl

bootsiejayne wrote: »

http://breanna.littlethings.com/breanna-bond-weight-loss/?utm_source=hmc&utm_medium=Facebook&utm_campaign=shocking

I know the little girl needed to lose some weight and develop a healthy lifestyle, but the strict regime her parents have her on makes me a little uneasy. Every lifestyle has to have a little flexibility to it. It seems to me that it would be really easy for this little girl to develop an eating disorder. I sincerely hope she doesn't. I hope she always values herself above her weight. It's so hard to grow up and have self worth that is independent from the number on the scale when so much of your surroundings are about your size.

Does the video say more? A daily 4mi hike is fine and within reason for a 9yo.
She looks to be a healthy weight now. Do kinda want to dump slime on her classmates heads though...

PeachyPlum

crazyjerseygirl wrote: »

segacs wrote: »

What bothers me more is the insinuation that the other kids who bullied, teased and called her "fatty" were blameless.

Yes, it sounds like she was unhealthily overweight, and for her own health and well-being it's great that her parents helped her lose weight. But the other kids who shamed and bullied her were wrong to do so. That doesn't excuse or justify their actions.

Where were the parents, teachers and adults here? They should've spoken up -- before she lost the weight -- to tell her classmates in no uncertain terms that bullying or shaming or harassing people due to their appearance is wrong.

Preach!

Yes! I have very strong feelings about adults who allow bullying to continue. Also, I hope the girls parents taught her how to deal with bullies in an effective way.
I was a kid who was bullied and told by parents and teachers that "They only do it because it bothers you. If they're still doing it it's because you're not ignoring them hard enough." That set me up for many years of depression, toxic friendships, and abusive relationships in my teens and adulthood.
I hope this girls parents dealt both with her unhealthy weight, and with the *kitten* who bullied her for it.

bootsiejayne

The video discussed that there was a strict zero tolerance policy. She has to do the 4 mile hike even in the rain, snow, sleet, whatever. They restricted her diet to 20 grams of fat or less a day. I'm not saying that is bad. I'm just saying that every lifestyle has to have a little give and flexibility. It just felt icky to me. I hope I'm wrong. 9 is such an impressionable age to a girl. This is a great age to learn how to eat and care for her body, but it's also a great age to learn to LOVE her body and WHO she is independent of how her body looks.

kandell

I think the parents are on the right track. With that weight at that age, she was probably going to develop a lot of serious health problems. With getting her used to a schedule like that, her parents are helping her learn dedication and perseverance. It's like kids that do school or club sports and have to practice or play in non-ideal weather or when they just don't feel like it. The only difference is that this is with her family, not her peers and a coach.

As she gets older and becomes more independent, I'm sure she'll get more freedom over her schedule.

LKArgh

Her parents made some awful choices by letting her get that obese, good for them for actually trying to do something to fix it. It is a pitty they allowed things to get that bad, but at this point, what else could they do, let her die from health complications? I just hope they do not present this to her as being her fault.

macgurlnet

bootsiejayne wrote: »

The video discussed that there was a strict zero tolerance policy. She has to do the 4 mile hike even in the rain, snow, sleet, whatever. They restricted her diet to 20 grams of fat or less a day. I'm not saying that is bad. I'm just saying that every lifestyle has to have a little give and flexibility. It just felt icky to me. I hope I'm wrong. 9 is such an impressionable age to a girl. This is a great age to learn how to eat and care for her body, but it's also a great age to learn to LOVE her body and WHO she is independent of how her body looks.

She has to do the walk but so does everyone else in the family, so it's not a problem. Same with the choice to go low-fat. As long as the whole family was doing this, I don't see any issue.

Do I agree with the going low-fat? Maybe not. But it's certainly not harmful.

It's easy to say you should love yourself regardless of looks but doing such a thing is much more difficult.

~Lyssa

tomatoey

aggelikik wrote: »

Her parents made some awful choices by letting her get that obese, good for them for actually trying to do something to fix it. It is a pitty they allowed things to get that bad, but at this point, what else could they do, let her die from health complications? I just hope they do not present this to her as being her fault.

agree w all.

and really - how do people let a NINE year old get to 186 pounds? how does that even happen? the child isn't doing the shopping or cooking, and I doubt she was breaking into McDick's at night.

like yeah, good for them for stepping up, but jeez.

LAWoman72

I'm not sure what to think. She was on 20g of fat/day (I know people have different views on this) and an hour and fifteen minutes a day of the treadmill. It seems like what her parents have taught her is extremes. "Okay, we're going to let you get up to 100 pounds by kindergarten and still do nothing until you're in the fifth grade, when you're 186 pounds and so sick you can't breathe properly - then we're going to stick you on the treadmill and feed you food that pretty much anyone would consider 'diet food'."

I just don't know. I don't like to criticize other parents, because that really hurts (I say this as a parent), but I feel like this girl has never had a "normal" eating and running-around childhood...just two extremes.

My middle son gained a lot of weight when he went on a certain medication. He was hungry all the time, I was tired and worn out (he has autism and intellectual delay and he was having hours of therapies at that time, in addition to being unable to communicate properly - it was a lot to keep up with) and I kept allowing him his "snacks." When I realized he was getting overweight, I started taking him and his brother outside more, running around...playing ball...and I started replacing his chippy snacks with fruit and the like, though not 100% of the time. I never let him know I was concerned about his weight, the changes weren't drastic (though he did rebel against them at first), we ALL did it so it was "normal" (I notice this girl's family did that part too, though) and he has trimmed down some.

I would never have let it get to the point of 186 pounds in the fifth grade. He is currently 101 in the sixth grade, started at about 107 (and has grown an inch in the meantime of losing those 6 pounds) and even now he's still considered overweight, and he's not short, he's right in the middle of average. If I'd let him get up to nearly double what he is now, then cracked down and took away pretty much every one of his occasional "treats" plus stuck him on a treadmill for over an hour a day, it would have seemed like a punishment.

This is JMO, obviously, and just what we did.

tomatoey

it is true, LAWoman72, she's learning extremes, but it seems her health was at risk. what blows my mind is her parents put her health at risk.

LAWoman72

tomatoey wrote: »

it is true, LAWoman72, she's learning extremes, but it seems her health was at risk. what blows my mind is her parents put her health at risk.

Me too.

I am glad, of course, that she's healthier now. But I foresee this child as an adult, away from her parents, rebelling and winding up morbidly obese. She just isn't learning "normal" (yeah, I know, I don't love that word myself but can't think of a better one right now) eating and moving around, just how to severely overeat, then severely restrict while pounding hours away on a treadmill.

But I'm glad she's a normal weight, at least for now, and can run around with the other kids. I agree that the parents allowed this situation and that...I just can't reconcile that. The child was so sick she couldn't breathe properly. Ugh, I just...don't know.

PeachyPlum

I need to make a note to watch the video when I get home. The article makes it sound much less horrifying (and, not having kids, I don't have a good feel for what a normal height/weight are for a 9 year old).
I got the impression from the article that they took her to all kinds of doctors for medical tests, etc... and that nobody could figure out why she was overweight, like everyone was looking for some endocrine system problem. From what ya'll are describing, it sounds like the parents were just... not parenting?
I guess I also misunderstood the zero tolerance policy to mean "Everybody goes, no excuses to get out of it" and not "We don't care how awful the weather is, we are going to exercise, and this is the only way we are going to do it." With that information, I have more mixed feelings about the whole story.
All I know is that being a parent, and navigating the treacherous waters of teaching healthy food and exercise habits while not crashing into the Cliffs of Eating Disorders and Body Dysmorphia sounds really freaking hard.

Anns24

I would consider it more negative if the whole family wasn't making the changes as a group. I think too many children don't understand working out and calories and such until later on down the road which can make it that much worse for them. She is now aware and can make some of the decisions herself. In the end she is able to enjoy the sports she once couldn't play and will probably have a more fun and active childhood.

tomatoey

PeachyPlum wrote: »

I need to make a note to watch the video when I get home. The article makes it sound much less horrifying (and, not having kids, I don't have a good feel for what a normal height/weight are for a 9 year old).
I got the impression from the article that they took her to all kinds of doctors for medical tests, etc... and that nobody could figure out why she was overweight, like everyone was looking for some endocrine system problem. From what ya'll are describing, it sounds like the parents were just... not parenting?
I guess I also misunderstood the zero tolerance policy to mean "Everybody goes, no excuses to get out of it" and not "We don't care how awful the weather is, we are going to exercise, and this is the only way we are going to do it." With that information, I have more mixed feelings about the whole story.
All I know is that being a parent, and navigating the treacherous waters of teaching healthy food and exercise habits while not crashing into the Cliffs of Eating Disorders and Body Dysmorphia sounds really freaking hard.

They didn't really get into the causes that much, but they did mention she was a big baby, and they talked briefly about the tests and having questioned her metabolism (with all tests showing it was fine).

They also, at the end, when they were talking about what made it hard, said "well she was a little stubborn". In a separate question, the girl said she didn't like the walks initially, but I wonder if that "stubbornness" might mean she didn't like being told "no" wrt food (portions/type/quality whatever).

eta - 186 pounds is "obese" by BMI for a person who's 5'5. She's clearly not 5'5.

tomatoey

LAWoman72 wrote: »

tomatoey wrote: »

it is true, LAWoman72, she's learning extremes, but it seems her health was at risk. what blows my mind is her parents put her health at risk.

Me too.

I am glad, of course, that she's healthier now. But I foresee this child as an adult, away from her parents, rebelling and winding up morbidly obese. She just isn't learning "normal" (yeah, I know, I don't love that word myself but can't think of a better one right now) eating and moving around, just how to severely overeat, then severely restrict while pounding hours away on a treadmill.

But I'm glad she's a normal weight, at least for now, and can run around with the other kids. I agree that the parents allowed this situation and that...I just can't reconcile that. The child was so sick she couldn't breathe properly. Ugh, I just...don't know.

yeah, i think she probably is vulnerable to eating disorders later on. very sad.

_lyndseybrooke_

20 g of fat per day?! That sounds miserable.

I don't get why so many people limit fat like that.

missomgitsica

I say good for those parents. I have a younger sister who was the same way, she just gained weight as soon as she was about 4 years old and never stopped. By junior high she was significantly overweight and hated going to school because she got picked on, and instead of taking her to a doctor or helping her get healthy, my mom pulled her out of school and "home schooled" her. She finished junior high and 9th grade at home, then just stopped. Now she's 22, weighs at least 300 pounds, hasn't finished high school, and pretty much just sits at home doing nothing. My other sister and I had moved out already (we were both over 18), so we didn't know how bad any of it was until after the fact. And now, if any of us ever bring up losing weight or finishing school to this sister, she gets extremely defensive and lashes out. It's a no win situation. So if I had to choose between that and my mom having done what this family did, it's not even a contest.

LAWoman72

missomgitsica wrote: »

I say good for those parents. I have a younger sister who was the same way, she just gained weight as soon as she was about 4 years old and never stopped. By junior high she was significantly overweight and hated going to school because she got picked on, and instead of taking her to a doctor or helping her get healthy, my mom pulled her out of school and "home schooled" her. She finished junior high and 9th grade at home, then just stopped. Now she's 22, weighs at least 300 pounds, hasn't finished high school, and pretty much just sits at home doing nothing. My other sister and I had moved out already (we were both over 18), so we didn't know how bad any of it was until after the fact. And now, if any of us ever bring up losing weight or finishing school to this sister, she gets extremely defensive and lashes out. It's a no win situation. So if I had to choose between that and my mom having done what this family did, it's not even a contest.

But I think the whole point is that it shouldn't HAVE to have been a choice between these two extremes.

It should have been: the parents realized they had a kindergartener who was 100 lbs. and made reasonable changes then - not waited until she was in fifth grade and 186. Or really, done something before the 5-year-old was 100 lbs. My God, my not-quite-nine-year-old only weighs 49 lbs. Surely they saw this happening.

If they had made the changes earlier, before the poor kid could no longer breathe, the changes may not have had to have been so severe, and the child might have learned a more normal and natural way of eating and moving around, rather than either binge until you can't breathe, or plod for hours on a treadmill while eating 20g of fat per day.