35 lbs Lost - How I'm Losing it So Far...
neojedi
Posts: 12 Member
I'm 41 years old, and like many of you, I have had a "Sisyphus" type relationship with my obesity. My parents weren't obese, so they didn't know how to address it when I was a teenager. I carved off a TON of weight in college in very unhealthy ways (running 2x a day, barely eating, lifting weights but so lightheaded that spots would dance in front of my eyes: the WORST.). Every year or two I'd get religion, get back into the gym, and start lifting, running, dieting (with slips) and exercising. Then I'd have a slip-up or a setback and it was like weeks or months of "well, f*** it: let's just eat the whole god**** pizza."
And, lest you think I am exaggerating, I would hover between 240-260 on the regular, and have a library's worth of weight loss books, secrets, tricks, diets, whatever, a battery of personal trainers, equipment at home, the lot. I am a guy who had tried, relentlessly and failed.
This time, I seem to be losing it and it seems to be happening almost magically, without effort or discomfort.
As I struggled up until now (and will continue to struggle, I'm under no illusions as to that), I figured I'd share my story to see if it helped anyone else.
I won't say I've fixed this weight loss thing, but for the first time, it seems less painful to me than prior attempts (and, more importantly, the weight is coming off at a regular clip). It was a perfect storm of a few books I happened to read around the same time, a good trainer (who re-introduced me to one of those books) and a shift in attitude that resulted from all of that.
The three books:
"Why We Get Fat" - Gary Taubes
"The Gabriel Method" - Jon Gabriel
The third, I will not name until later, because it's both immediately irrelevant to anyone but me but was integral to me connecting the dots; if I reveal it too soon, I fear you may stop reading because it's so bizarre.
My new personal trainer turned me (back) on to Taubes' book. I'd read it before, but then subsequent online research seemed to refute it strongly so I assumed it was another piece of bunk and moved on. My trainer, however, with flashing, wild eyes said that it was THE book and to ignore the other crap that countered it. This trainer seemed like a smart guy, not a musclebound, no-neck "'DUDE, ONE MORE REP!' brah" so since I was paying him for his advice, I figured it'd be good to start there. I should also note that this trainer does exactly three exercises with me, once per week, on modified weight machines. His argument: you don't have to kill yourself with exercise to lose weight; it's 70% diet, 10% exercise, and 20% sleep.
Well d*mn. OK.
Since he seemed physically distressed, I dug up "Why We Get Fat" and re-read it. It's basically the Atkins argument: that our bodies ability to regulate weight is not governed by physics as much as its governed by biology. Backed by a ridiculous amount of facts and studies, it posits that the hormonal imbalance that the amazing amount of carbohydrates in the current SAD completely derails those of us who are genetically predisposed to turning those garbage carbs into insulin, and then that insulin creating a daisy chain of weight gain.
The theory he put forth, kind of as an aside, but it "clicked" later when I read the third book I (didn't) list above, is that once you get to a point where you have a certain amount of fat you're carrying around, the fat tends to mess with your hormones so that you crave more carbs and sweets to get more--you guessed it--fat. So that fat creates a feedback loop that tricks you into feeding IT (NOT YOU...more on that in the next paragraph) to make it get bigger. And the fun continues.
"The Gabriel Method" is more touchy-feely mind-body connection stuff, but don't be confused by my descriptor: it's very powerful in how it makes you think about your body and how it adapts to the stress of your environment, your diet, and your exercise routine (or lack thereof). A friend (who also lost a lot of weight) recommended it in his blog so I decided that one more tome in the "Weight Loss Library" wouldn't kill me. It's a great book, and while I haven't implemented all of its recommendations, there are three that the author, Jon Gabriel, did to lose HIS weight that resonated with me: he (1) made sure he had 1-2 healthy meals per day, whether he was hungry for something else or not, (2) once he had those, he allowed himself to eat what he wanted until he felt satisfied (not bloated, but full), and (3) forgave himself if he ate unhealthy food and got to the root causes of why he was overweight (usually a stress or unhappiness in ones life). He also, when he was 400 lbs (yup!) made a self-comment that his body "wanted to be fat and would be so until it didn't," and "he was eating everything in sight but still starving his body."
The key for me to the above was those 3 rules and 2 statements: remember, Taubes' book is all about that fat we're carrying around telling us to eat more ice cream, cookies, junk, etc. But your body, your heart, lungs, kidneys, liver, brain, etc., don't really care if you get your nutrition from pizza, spinach, ice cream, or an apple: they have caloric needs and they are there to circulate blood, oxygenate your red blood cells, excrete waste, or have you type overly-long message board posts (I keed, I keed). The only thing that drives you to eat more crap/sugar/flour is, you guessed it, fat. So the fat we're carrying is messing with our hormones and making that apple taste like sawdust, but that apple PIE, man...MAN...THAT'S what you need! Right?
Well, from its perspective, that's absolutely right.
The fat isn't there to serve a purpose, except an archaic one about food hoarding when scarcity was an issue and affected our survival. Not so much in the age of "Peanut Butter Oreos" (aka "cookie crack" - don't try them...they're like chocolatey meth). The fat is there to theoretically keep us warm and give us a mobile food reserve, but when it runs amok in the modern age, it's there to maintain itself and get, you guessed it, bigger.
So we have Taubes saying we have fat that wants to self replicate, Gabriel saying that we're starving ourselves even when we're eating, and there you have it.
OK.
So the third book.
This is where I'm going to lose about half of the few people still reading. But here goes.
So I tend to switch back and forth between business, health books, and books for pleasure. For me, the latter is usually fiction or sci fi. I'm also an avid hardcore video game player. So let me say that buying this third book is not necessary for the pieces to click for most, but it worked for me. Let me also say that this third book won't resonate with you unless you are one of the small minority who knows this particular video game series and the characters involved. Again, though, I will explain what connected for me after reading this third book. The third book was in the latter category. And it was called "Mass Effect: Retribution."
In this book, there's a classic science fiction theme of a person who is co-opted by an alien presence (wait, wait, don't click away yet!!! At least finish this paragraph before you decide!). What was different about this book was that, where normally you, the viewer, are watching a person being "body snatched" from the outside, this was written with an internal monologue. Without getting too deep into the dorky plot, there's a father who has a daughter that is of interest to this malevolent extraterrestrial force. Large sequences of the book are written from the point of view of that same father as he fights his natural urge to protect his daughter but also being aware of the fact that he's being manipulated to find and kill her. His thought processes (in broad strokes) cycle this way:
"I have to find Gillian and keep her safe!"
"Wait...that's what the bad guys want me to do...they're inside my head!"
"I should stay away from Gillian so she's safe from me!"
"But...maybe she's safer with me protecting her...I should find her!"
"Wait...!"
It's better than that, really, but you get the idea.
There's a subconscious force messing with this guy's head telling him to do what he consciously knows he SHOULDN'T do. As a reader, as you read his "snake eating its tail" internal monologue, you're put in the position of quietly thinking, "no, you fool: that's what it wants you to think."
Again, you don't have to read that one, lol.
So, I'd read these three somewhat random books within a month of each other, and it all hit me: when you're obese, the fat you carry is essentially a parasite. It's not your body you're fighting so much as it's this relatively foreign substance that isn't really there to help you live longer or better (at least not in the year 2013). It is there to keep itself safe and grow/multiply if possible. That's it. How it worked for me was I started thinking that I was fighting my body less and more about me/my body fighting this thing that had enveloped us both and was trying to--in the end--make our lives miserable.
After that, it got easier. When the Shakey's pizza cravings would kick in, I'd mentally take a step back and think two things, (1) am I really hungry, and (2) if I'm really hungry, why am I not ok with gorging on something low carb like steak or salad? If the pizza (or ice cream or whatever) stayed in the forefront of my thoughts/cravings, I figured it was just the fat talking, and just ignored it. That said, I immediately went to get a green smoothie, a salad, or a chicken breast to make sure I was feeding my body what it needed and not just what the fat wanted.
Then the Taubes stuff kicked in: the reduction in carbohydrate meant that--after 2-3 weeks of self-arguing--my "fat passenger" got quieter...those insane carb/sugar cravings abated and my appetite got under control. You all know the ones: where you're thinking "I will murder every mother-trucker in this room for a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup!" So much so that I would miss a meal, unintentionally, and not realize it until later (I don't recommend doing that as a practice, just using that as an illustration). I was doing my 30 minutes/week of lifting with the trainer, and eating "Gabriel Method" style with 1-2 green veggie/fruit smoothies every day (to make sure my BODY was fed, not the fat), and lost 20 lbs in that first month. I started feeling better so I dusted off the treadmill and began to walk 45 minutes 3x/week, then daily. Now I'm up to jogging. Across two months, I'm down 34lbs. That's not bragging: I've got 55 lbs to go.
I get that for a lot of you, some of this must sound cray: I'm making the fat sound like it's some alien being that's messing with your head...I get it. Don't think of it that way literally, but when you are looking at the picture of the Big Mac and going, "damn, that looks good..." take a step back. Think about why you're craving THAT PARTICULAR THING and not fish, or a steak, or veggies. It's likely the Taubes argument: the fat you're carrying wants to grow (or is reacting because you're doing things to shrink it) and that's the way it knows how to: carbo load.
So my parting advice (and hopefully the scale won't take a turn for the worse this summer):
-Avoid refined flour, sugar, wheat, bread, etc...anything that's in the cookie/cracker/pastry/bread/pasta area is a no-no
-Eat lots of veggies, a moderate amount of fruits, protein and fat (e.g. meat); I am a big proponent of fruit/veggie smoothies with protein and psyllium husks added to it...tastes great and solves a huge chunk of your nutritional issues. Keep using myfitnesspal like a mad-person...it's a powerful tool. I find that I organically end up around 1200-1600 calories per day...the key is, I'm not really trying for that number, it's just eating what I feel like eating after eating 1-2 green smoothies that day (it's amazing how little you want to eat crap when you've spent 6 hours of the day eating healthy)...
-Avoid alcohol; if you can't drink in moderation and stick to clear hard liquor: if I'm out and want to indulge, I stick with vodka + diet coke. It's an acquired taste, but it has the least negative impact on your efforts. That said, for this first burst, I've been completely dry except for a one-week trip. And I hate being dry. But it's working. Oh, yeah: no beer, and while some say wine is OK, I still avoid it because of the carb count.
-Research restaurants and fast food before heading out: I have had more Popeyes Naked Chicken Tenders and Chikfila Grilled Chicken Nuggets than any human being alive...I love fast food and these let me have a guilt-free meal at QSRs that I enjoy.
Feed your body, not your fat.
Hope it helps! Wish me luck!
And, lest you think I am exaggerating, I would hover between 240-260 on the regular, and have a library's worth of weight loss books, secrets, tricks, diets, whatever, a battery of personal trainers, equipment at home, the lot. I am a guy who had tried, relentlessly and failed.
This time, I seem to be losing it and it seems to be happening almost magically, without effort or discomfort.
As I struggled up until now (and will continue to struggle, I'm under no illusions as to that), I figured I'd share my story to see if it helped anyone else.
I won't say I've fixed this weight loss thing, but for the first time, it seems less painful to me than prior attempts (and, more importantly, the weight is coming off at a regular clip). It was a perfect storm of a few books I happened to read around the same time, a good trainer (who re-introduced me to one of those books) and a shift in attitude that resulted from all of that.
The three books:
"Why We Get Fat" - Gary Taubes
"The Gabriel Method" - Jon Gabriel
The third, I will not name until later, because it's both immediately irrelevant to anyone but me but was integral to me connecting the dots; if I reveal it too soon, I fear you may stop reading because it's so bizarre.
My new personal trainer turned me (back) on to Taubes' book. I'd read it before, but then subsequent online research seemed to refute it strongly so I assumed it was another piece of bunk and moved on. My trainer, however, with flashing, wild eyes said that it was THE book and to ignore the other crap that countered it. This trainer seemed like a smart guy, not a musclebound, no-neck "'DUDE, ONE MORE REP!' brah" so since I was paying him for his advice, I figured it'd be good to start there. I should also note that this trainer does exactly three exercises with me, once per week, on modified weight machines. His argument: you don't have to kill yourself with exercise to lose weight; it's 70% diet, 10% exercise, and 20% sleep.
Well d*mn. OK.
Since he seemed physically distressed, I dug up "Why We Get Fat" and re-read it. It's basically the Atkins argument: that our bodies ability to regulate weight is not governed by physics as much as its governed by biology. Backed by a ridiculous amount of facts and studies, it posits that the hormonal imbalance that the amazing amount of carbohydrates in the current SAD completely derails those of us who are genetically predisposed to turning those garbage carbs into insulin, and then that insulin creating a daisy chain of weight gain.
The theory he put forth, kind of as an aside, but it "clicked" later when I read the third book I (didn't) list above, is that once you get to a point where you have a certain amount of fat you're carrying around, the fat tends to mess with your hormones so that you crave more carbs and sweets to get more--you guessed it--fat. So that fat creates a feedback loop that tricks you into feeding IT (NOT YOU...more on that in the next paragraph) to make it get bigger. And the fun continues.
"The Gabriel Method" is more touchy-feely mind-body connection stuff, but don't be confused by my descriptor: it's very powerful in how it makes you think about your body and how it adapts to the stress of your environment, your diet, and your exercise routine (or lack thereof). A friend (who also lost a lot of weight) recommended it in his blog so I decided that one more tome in the "Weight Loss Library" wouldn't kill me. It's a great book, and while I haven't implemented all of its recommendations, there are three that the author, Jon Gabriel, did to lose HIS weight that resonated with me: he (1) made sure he had 1-2 healthy meals per day, whether he was hungry for something else or not, (2) once he had those, he allowed himself to eat what he wanted until he felt satisfied (not bloated, but full), and (3) forgave himself if he ate unhealthy food and got to the root causes of why he was overweight (usually a stress or unhappiness in ones life). He also, when he was 400 lbs (yup!) made a self-comment that his body "wanted to be fat and would be so until it didn't," and "he was eating everything in sight but still starving his body."
The key for me to the above was those 3 rules and 2 statements: remember, Taubes' book is all about that fat we're carrying around telling us to eat more ice cream, cookies, junk, etc. But your body, your heart, lungs, kidneys, liver, brain, etc., don't really care if you get your nutrition from pizza, spinach, ice cream, or an apple: they have caloric needs and they are there to circulate blood, oxygenate your red blood cells, excrete waste, or have you type overly-long message board posts (I keed, I keed). The only thing that drives you to eat more crap/sugar/flour is, you guessed it, fat. So the fat we're carrying is messing with our hormones and making that apple taste like sawdust, but that apple PIE, man...MAN...THAT'S what you need! Right?
Well, from its perspective, that's absolutely right.
The fat isn't there to serve a purpose, except an archaic one about food hoarding when scarcity was an issue and affected our survival. Not so much in the age of "Peanut Butter Oreos" (aka "cookie crack" - don't try them...they're like chocolatey meth). The fat is there to theoretically keep us warm and give us a mobile food reserve, but when it runs amok in the modern age, it's there to maintain itself and get, you guessed it, bigger.
So we have Taubes saying we have fat that wants to self replicate, Gabriel saying that we're starving ourselves even when we're eating, and there you have it.
OK.
So the third book.
This is where I'm going to lose about half of the few people still reading. But here goes.
So I tend to switch back and forth between business, health books, and books for pleasure. For me, the latter is usually fiction or sci fi. I'm also an avid hardcore video game player. So let me say that buying this third book is not necessary for the pieces to click for most, but it worked for me. Let me also say that this third book won't resonate with you unless you are one of the small minority who knows this particular video game series and the characters involved. Again, though, I will explain what connected for me after reading this third book. The third book was in the latter category. And it was called "Mass Effect: Retribution."
In this book, there's a classic science fiction theme of a person who is co-opted by an alien presence (wait, wait, don't click away yet!!! At least finish this paragraph before you decide!). What was different about this book was that, where normally you, the viewer, are watching a person being "body snatched" from the outside, this was written with an internal monologue. Without getting too deep into the dorky plot, there's a father who has a daughter that is of interest to this malevolent extraterrestrial force. Large sequences of the book are written from the point of view of that same father as he fights his natural urge to protect his daughter but also being aware of the fact that he's being manipulated to find and kill her. His thought processes (in broad strokes) cycle this way:
"I have to find Gillian and keep her safe!"
"Wait...that's what the bad guys want me to do...they're inside my head!"
"I should stay away from Gillian so she's safe from me!"
"But...maybe she's safer with me protecting her...I should find her!"
"Wait...!"
It's better than that, really, but you get the idea.
There's a subconscious force messing with this guy's head telling him to do what he consciously knows he SHOULDN'T do. As a reader, as you read his "snake eating its tail" internal monologue, you're put in the position of quietly thinking, "no, you fool: that's what it wants you to think."
Again, you don't have to read that one, lol.
So, I'd read these three somewhat random books within a month of each other, and it all hit me: when you're obese, the fat you carry is essentially a parasite. It's not your body you're fighting so much as it's this relatively foreign substance that isn't really there to help you live longer or better (at least not in the year 2013). It is there to keep itself safe and grow/multiply if possible. That's it. How it worked for me was I started thinking that I was fighting my body less and more about me/my body fighting this thing that had enveloped us both and was trying to--in the end--make our lives miserable.
After that, it got easier. When the Shakey's pizza cravings would kick in, I'd mentally take a step back and think two things, (1) am I really hungry, and (2) if I'm really hungry, why am I not ok with gorging on something low carb like steak or salad? If the pizza (or ice cream or whatever) stayed in the forefront of my thoughts/cravings, I figured it was just the fat talking, and just ignored it. That said, I immediately went to get a green smoothie, a salad, or a chicken breast to make sure I was feeding my body what it needed and not just what the fat wanted.
Then the Taubes stuff kicked in: the reduction in carbohydrate meant that--after 2-3 weeks of self-arguing--my "fat passenger" got quieter...those insane carb/sugar cravings abated and my appetite got under control. You all know the ones: where you're thinking "I will murder every mother-trucker in this room for a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup!" So much so that I would miss a meal, unintentionally, and not realize it until later (I don't recommend doing that as a practice, just using that as an illustration). I was doing my 30 minutes/week of lifting with the trainer, and eating "Gabriel Method" style with 1-2 green veggie/fruit smoothies every day (to make sure my BODY was fed, not the fat), and lost 20 lbs in that first month. I started feeling better so I dusted off the treadmill and began to walk 45 minutes 3x/week, then daily. Now I'm up to jogging. Across two months, I'm down 34lbs. That's not bragging: I've got 55 lbs to go.
I get that for a lot of you, some of this must sound cray: I'm making the fat sound like it's some alien being that's messing with your head...I get it. Don't think of it that way literally, but when you are looking at the picture of the Big Mac and going, "damn, that looks good..." take a step back. Think about why you're craving THAT PARTICULAR THING and not fish, or a steak, or veggies. It's likely the Taubes argument: the fat you're carrying wants to grow (or is reacting because you're doing things to shrink it) and that's the way it knows how to: carbo load.
So my parting advice (and hopefully the scale won't take a turn for the worse this summer):
-Avoid refined flour, sugar, wheat, bread, etc...anything that's in the cookie/cracker/pastry/bread/pasta area is a no-no
-Eat lots of veggies, a moderate amount of fruits, protein and fat (e.g. meat); I am a big proponent of fruit/veggie smoothies with protein and psyllium husks added to it...tastes great and solves a huge chunk of your nutritional issues. Keep using myfitnesspal like a mad-person...it's a powerful tool. I find that I organically end up around 1200-1600 calories per day...the key is, I'm not really trying for that number, it's just eating what I feel like eating after eating 1-2 green smoothies that day (it's amazing how little you want to eat crap when you've spent 6 hours of the day eating healthy)...
-Avoid alcohol; if you can't drink in moderation and stick to clear hard liquor: if I'm out and want to indulge, I stick with vodka + diet coke. It's an acquired taste, but it has the least negative impact on your efforts. That said, for this first burst, I've been completely dry except for a one-week trip. And I hate being dry. But it's working. Oh, yeah: no beer, and while some say wine is OK, I still avoid it because of the carb count.
-Research restaurants and fast food before heading out: I have had more Popeyes Naked Chicken Tenders and Chikfila Grilled Chicken Nuggets than any human being alive...I love fast food and these let me have a guilt-free meal at QSRs that I enjoy.
Feed your body, not your fat.
Hope it helps! Wish me luck!
7
Replies
-
Very interesting read and good advice, thank you! Currently drying out for this first month (haha I sound like an alcoholic) but I realllly want some beer
Good luck with everything! 1 -
OooOooo! Didn't know Popeye's had naked chicken tenders! Are they spicy like their regular chicken?1
-
Thanks for your wonderful post. I love it. There is a lot of insight and some helpful tips. Having tried losing weight for so long in so many different ways it's always helpful to gain new insight into why I've even gained it in the first place. I like your 'fat passenger' explanation.0
-
@Dana,
They have mild and spicy - and they are awesome. I'm probably going to walk over and get some tonight, lol! The cashier might look at you funny since most people going to Popeyes are just looking for full-fat 2 pieces, etc., but they're definitely on the menu, at least in Cali.0 -
@Brightsides - glad to help wherever I can. Like I said, it's been 30 years wrestling with this and this is the first time that not only are things working, but it feels like, mentally, I have it under control.
I forgot to add:
-drink a ton of water...it makes you feel full. I hate it because I have a bladder the size of a thimble, but I can't argue with the effect. I always add Propel Zero or some flavored mix to mine so I can choke down more. I try to do minimum 3+ liters/day.
-in that earlier "Big Mac" scenario - make SURE you get something to eat, DON'T let it go and think you're done because you dragged yourself away from the golden arches (or whatever). If your body IS hungry, you need to feed it something low carb/sugar/refined flour. NOT feeding it at all is what messes you up and gets you into "Food Hulk" mode. It's amazing what happens the first time you are full from a healthy whole food diet but your brain is still telling you to "get the cake"...it's the most surreal cognitive dissonance I've ever experienced, and you can almost feel your stomach go, "WTF? I'm full down here!."
Thankfully, it doesn't happen that often, lol.0 -
@crimsongypsy - I feel you. It's Saturday night in LA and I'm staying in just to avoid temptation, lol.0
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I always think it's kind of funny when we refer to the processes going on in our body as if they're evil monster's under the bed or hateful neighbors. You talk about your fat that way. That fat has a mind of it's own, am I right? Ha! and don't get me wrong - I totally talk about my metabolism that way. I have gone so far as to talk to my metabolism out loud.. (I promise I wasn't really expecting an answer).
But, at the same time as it's total insanity, it makes perfect sense.0 -
I've reread this post a few times... curious to know how you are doing now?0
-
Thanks for your post. Very insightful and helpful. Could you put up a recipe for the green shake? Want to give it a go. I hope you are still doing well. Thanks.0
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Someone else necro'd this thread.
I'm just here because of the Mass Effect reference.2
This discussion has been closed.
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