True love or to just be loved? "The Notebook" *warning long post* :)

missyj1115

Do you believe in true unconditional love, your soul mate, that one person ment for you if you will? With billions and billions of people in this world I find it hard to believe there is that one person for every being... Or is there?

I spent over half my life with someone I once loved only to get divorced. To think you actually know someone when you never really knew them at all. Do people really change that much? Is it just something we overlook, settle for and live with? Seeing my sisters in not so good marriages, coming from a broken home and never really witnessing it from anybody I really know makes me think. How does one find it and keep it alive? Believe me I know marriage, it should be 50/50 and know it takes work but does it have to be "hard work?"

I was in a nursing home visiting an old friend as I witnessed something truly eye opening, amazing and wonderful. A old lady was reading their life story to her husband by the bay window as he sat there gleaming at her. A nurse walked by and I asked what was their story. She said "he has alzheimer's, she comes here everyday for the past 5 years they hold hands as she brings him back to her and their life together." It was like watching the movie "The Notebook" in real life. When they wheeled the husband away I walked over to the wife, tears running down my face. She looked up at me and said "my dear child what is the matter?" I knelt down by her and said "thank you, I used to think actual true love never existed anymore. I can now say after seeing you and your husband here before me today that it in fact does! It may never happen to me but at least I have hope that it still exists." I kissed her forehead as a couple tears streamed down her cheeks and walked away. A nurse ran after me and said she has not seen one tear from her since her husband was admitted 5 years ago on that very day!

So with that story and all's that been said....
Do I believe true love exists? Yes I do, how could I not after seeing what I saw
Do I believe it's for everybody? No I do not

Now for the real question I came here for!!!

Do you keep searching and break hearts in your qwest to find that true love that might not even be in store for you? THE BIG WHAT IF.... OR To find someone you have deep feelings for, who loves you so much, treats you and your children well and would do anything for you.... BUT is someone who you feel is not the "true love" of your life?

How do you know? People say you will just know but is it really that easy? There are many kinds of love but that burning desire, that can't live without you feeling no strings attached true love is what I wish for everybody to find!

Do you keep searching for that "True Love" or do you find someone you can say you love and have deep feelings for just to
"Be Loved?"

That is the question!

Thank you

thatguynick

I continue searching, though it is my heart that continues to break. Most recently, I believed I had found mine, but she doesn't feel the same...

missyj1115

Sorry to hear this! It is tough most of the time one person feels more strongly than the other or the feelings just fade over time! You can't make someone feel something they just don't.

wolverine66

missyj1115 wrote: »

Do you believe in true unconditional love? yes. but i think unconditional love is in the form of parent and child. I think any romantic relationships will have some condition. To say you will love someone without condition means they can cheat, lie, hurt you, hurt your kid, etc. and you would still love them. I don't think that's rational.

your soul mate, that one person ment for you if you will? I believe there are people you connect with. That you can find a bond that is extremely strong. Find someone that you would do most anything for. But to say there is just one person out there like that for each of us is - honestly - sad. There is AT LEAST one person out there like that for each of us, though. But, probably hundreds.


How does one find it and keep it alive? Believe me I know marriage, it should be 50/50 and know it takes work but does it have to be "hard work?" i don't know how to find it. I stumbled into it. But, I don't think there is a blueprint or a formula for it, so maybe we all stumble into it. I don't think it has to be "hard work." When you find someone you click with, you tend to work together as a team more than against each other, or independently. That makes a big difference.


Now for the real question I came here for!!!

Do you keep searching and break hearts in your qwest to find that true love that might not even be in store for you? THE BIG WHAT IF.... OR To find someone you have deep feelings for, who loves you so much, treats you and your children well and would do anything for you.... BUT is someone who you feel is not the "true love" of your life? Personally, I go for the "true love." Odds are that person will also love you so much, treat your children well and do anything for you. The difference in the two is that you would reciprocate in the "true love," and possibly regret/resent the other.

How do you know? People say you will just know but is it really that easy? I can't speak for anyone, but for me it was that easy. I remember exactly what she was wearing and what we were doing when I knew.


Thank you You're welcome

missyj1115

Awwww I love this!! Thank you for your input I agree 100% The unconditional love between a parent and their child is a love like no other

thatguynick

missyj1115 wrote: »

Sorry to hear this! It is tough most of the time one person feels more strongly than the other or the feelings just fade over time! You can't make someone feel something they just don't.

Indeed...the difficult part is changing how you feel.

missyj1115

You can't or shouldn't change how you feel. Everyone's feelings are important and you can't help how you or anyone else feels. To change how you feel is not being true to yourself!

Nezz123

I wonder the exact same thing! I've seen a few examples in real life, but there are more historical cases! Like the guy who escaped slavery to go north...but instead of starting over with a new woman....he worked his butt off to "buy" back his wife and kid. Or the guy who stole a uniform to sneak into a Nazi death camp and rescue his boyfriend (he succeeded!) Or the guy who turned left to make sure the oncoming car killed him instead of his wife. True love is real. Some people meet, fight for each other, and just know they're in it together. I often feel pressured to accept and settle down with guys who are not my true loves.....but I would rather stay single than do that. I'd rather wait for the one that I would fight Nazis for....or get a dog!

missyj1115

I would love to find that love!! That fighting Nazi love but the struggle is real. I don't want to settle either but what about the adult companionship? How long does one wait before they think it's just not out there for them or what if they wait their whole life and never find it? Should we go through life passing on good people out there that we are compatible with and have deep feelings for for the unknown? Thank you for the reply! Love the dog comment

D9996

The most important person in your life should always be yourself. You have to truly love yourself before you can truly love anyone else. You have to love yourself enough to say that you arent going to just settle for just being loved. Youll know when its true love, I cant speak for anyone else but to me true love is easy. I have been in a few relationships and I was ready to give up on love at one point, but when I wasnt expecting it love hit me in the face, and it was amazing.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

missyj1115

Thanks guys!!! LOL ^^^ very funny but you are probably spot on!! Maybe I'm just waiting for someone to tell me it's okay to be with someone that doesn't give you the OMG's when that's not what I really want. Just curious on peoples different perspectives on the subject is all.