Mad at myself

MichelleWeddingBelle

Hello,

I don't post here much but I want to vent my frustration at myself. The other week I weighed in at 9st 12lb and I was over the moon. I have a 16 month old daughter and shortly after having her I weighed in at 11st 5lb after gaining around 2st whilst pregnant. I had a c-section so I didn't get serious about weight loss until the following year so my body had plenty of time to heal. My goal was originally 10st 5, then 10st, and then 9st 7lb. Well I hit the first two targets and joined the gym to increase my exercise but once I hit 9st 12lb (my first weigh in under 10st basically) I just completely lost the motivation for the healthy eating and completely fell off the wagon. Now I can't get the comfort eating under control again.

Any tips for getting to my goal? I haven't even got that far to go really! My motivation is to be a healthier active mum to my daughter and also fit into a beautiful wedding dress (that I haven't yet picked) as I'm getting married August 2016. Maybe I need to start dress shopping?!

To stay motivated I set up a facebook group for myself and my three mum friends so we could discuss our weight loss efforts and confess our sins, but I've gotten a bit lazy with the confessions recently!

Michelle

TheRoseRoss

I don't know what your personality is like, but perhaps picking out the wedding dress of your dreams, and constantly looking at it (even it it's only a picture) will keep you motivated. My goals have changed over the years as I've "found myself" with regard to fitness, but one of them has always been:

"To not be embarrassed to take my shirt off at the beach/water park."

I recommitted to getting in shape in February of 2012. After research, I decided that I'd be one of those guys that "bulked up" during the winter, and then "cut down" in time for summer. The Summer of 2012, I was still "bulking up" with the goal of "cutting down" during the Spring of 2013. Summer of 2012, my family was at the beach, and I kept trying to find excuses to not go swimming, because I was unhappy with the way I looked. I finally relented, pictures were taken, and I hated the way that I looked in them. I imagined the pictures being passed around, and every time someone would come to one of me shirtless, I'd intervene to say:

"You've gotta excuse the way I looked in that one for you see, I was bulking."

To not be embarrassed to take my shirt off has kept me on task. There is no "explaining it away" with "forgive my gut for you see, I'm in the middle of a bulk. But be sure to check me out in the summer. I'll look great then." Perhaps the constant reminding of wanting to look good in your wedding dress" can be the "carrot on a stick" that keeps you on task. When you're tempted to skip a workout, or destroy your diet, think of your wedding day. Think of the time after when you're looking back at your wedding pictures. Will you say:

"You've gotta excuse the way that I looked in the dress for you see, I had lost my motivation,"

Or will you say:

"I'm so glad I didn't give up and lose my motivation."

For some people, picking out the dress now may lead to discouragement if they feel that are not making progress fast enough. Are you the type that gets motivated by a goal in the distance, or do you get frustrated at the seemingly insurmountable distance between you and the goal, and then decide "why even bother?"

MichelleWeddingBelle

Will you say:

"You've gotta excuse the way that I looked in the dress for you see, I had lost my motivation,"

Or will you say:

"I'm so glad I didn't give up and lose my motivation."

THIS is exactly what I need to think. I'm a think I'm very much the type of person that thinks far ahead and makes plans in advance. That's why I started this NOW even though the wedding dress is so far away still. No time like the present, right?!

TheRoseRoss

MichelleWeddingBelle wrote: »

Will you say:

"You've gotta excuse the way that I looked in the dress for you see, I had lost my motivation,"

Or will you say:

"I'm so glad I didn't give up and lose my motivation."

THIS is exactly what I need to think. I'm a think I'm very much the type of person that thinks far ahead and makes plans in advance. That's why I started this NOW even though the wedding dress is so far away still. No time like the present, right?!

Absolutely! I do my best to come at it in 2 ways:

- I'm not worried about lasting the week. I'm just worried about lasting today. Once I make it through today, I'll worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. I have my week of exercises and meals planned, but I try to think of them one day at time. Today I have to...
- Something I call "Look forward to looking back." I'm tempted to get in the car, drive to a fast food restaurant, and buy the burger of the month because I saw a commercial and it looks soooooooooooooooooooooo good! "What's one burger going to hurt?" I then think to the times that I'm looking at myself in the mirror, and how crappy it makes me feel to not look the way that I want to.
Then I try to look forward to a week, month, year (whatever) from now and I ask myself:

"A month from now when you're looking into the mirror and staring at your gut, are you still going to think that burger looked "soooooooooooooooooooo good?"

Look ahead and ask yourself:

"How is the me 30 days from now going to feel about the me today, eating this/skipping my workout etc?"

It doesn't always work, but I'm getting better about it.

Look forward to wearing your wedding dress, and posing for pictures. Will you be trying to "suck it in," and kicking yourself for not being more committed? Will you be looking for a dress with sleeves, because you're too embarrassed by your arms to wear something sleeveless? Or will you look back and think:

"I'm so glad I stuck with it?"

Win the day. Good Luck.