Stressed and Depressed

dhampir_princess

I could really just use some kind, encouraging words or someone to talk to. I've recently had a BUNCH of crap thrown into my life that's really stressing me out big time. I'm swinging back and forth between wanting to eat everything on the menu at every fast food place within five miles, and not wanting to even eat a few carrot sticks at night when I still have 700+ calories before I get to my 1200 minimum for the day.

It also doesn't help that I feel like I can't talk to anyone about what's going on. Either I know (from past experience) that people around me don't want to hear about it, or I convince myself the things I want to complain about are stupid and invalid things to be upset over, that or I don't want to bother my few friends by only texting or calling just to complain.

I don't know what to do to get out of the situations I'm in right now either. That's the worst part. I could put up with this *kitten* if I could see an end to it but I don't even know where to begin. I feel so useless and powerless right now... ;(

ATVer

Hug! I feel ya! Kinda like you were talking about me.
Anyway, sometimes we go thru a season, a sucky season. Seasons always change. Some just last longer than others.

TheLegendaryBrandonHarris

I'm sorry you feel bad. One of the toughest things to determine is if we want to vent, and let our frustrations air out, or if we're ready to make some real changes. Figure that out and maybe you'll feel better.

Keep your head up...I believe in you!
Brandon

dhampir_princess

Thanks guys. I have managed to stay on track calorie wise. Which seems like a miracle cuz there were several days I said "*kitten* it!", added a bunch of crap food in, then let it sit a few minutes and then by the time I got to the store I'd end up only getting one thing instead of ten.

It feels like MFP and counting calories is the only thing giving me any sort of control in my life right now.

TheLegendaryBrandonHarris

If you are ready to make some changes in your life, there are things you can do. You can take back control. It's not a finger snap...it's a process...but it does work.

alyhuggan

Netting 1200 calories at (can't tell but it looks like you are at about 270lb) is really not good for you. You will be more likely to binge eat or give up. It will also most likely not be helping with the stress and depression. If I net anything below 2000 I get exceptionally bad mood swings, grumpy, tired, angry etc.

Try upping your calories to netting about 1600-1800. You should find yourself feeling better mentally and it's a lot easier to stick with a more realistic calorie intake.

One thing I always do if I feel stressed is just accept what is happening. No amount of worrying, panicking or thinking about it will make it better. I like to just sit back every now and again and let everything go. Put on relaxing music and just let your mind leave you.

CoffeeNBooze

alyhuggan wrote: »

Netting 1200 calories at (can't tell but it looks like you are at about 270lb) is really not good for you. You will be more likely to binge eat or give up. It will also most likely not be helping with the stress and depression. If I net anything below 2000 I get exceptionally bad mood swings, grumpy, tired, angry etc.

Try upping your calories to netting about 1600-1800. You should find yourself feeling better mentally and it's a lot easier to stick with a more realistic calorie intake.

One thing I always do if I feel stressed is just accept what is happening. No amount of worrying, panicking or thinking about it will make it better. I like to just sit back every now and again and let everything go. Put on relaxing music and just let your mind leave you.

I like this advice. Also send me a message if you want or need someone to talk to, I will listen!

Nezz123

Yeah!! Me too! I'm about to post my own thread on the subject. I relate to what you said--about invalidating your own feelings. It helps to keep problems in perspective, but discrediting them altogether can make them worse. But I do it to myself. I think, "Things could be so much worse! I'm a wimp for being stressed/depressed! I'm being ungrateful of my blessings!" To some extent, we have to feel our feelings in order to let them run their course. It's like fire. If you try to smother it, the coals can keep burning for a long time. If you don't feed the flame (through destructive thoughts/behaviors) but give it enough air (by opening yourself up to them), the flame will burn itself out.

That's why I'm here, actually. As much for the mental as for the physical. Other techniques:

1. Happy pills. Escitalopram is cheap and it helped me get back on my feet after a nasty downward spiral. I fought taking it at first, but once I did it helped me regain my balance. (P.S. You might have a panic attack at first. But that passes then you'll probably start feeling much better.)
2. Talk to someone! Pay somebody if you have to! It sucks to flush $75 down the drain, but that's how I'm spending it this Monday! It's worth it though, because professionals don't lecture you, yell at you, or boss you around. They help you find your solutions.
3. Shake up your routine! Do something active, even if you only want to lie in bed! Watch scary movies! Sleepy kittens on YouTube! Get concert tickets! Do something! Anything to distract yourself!
4. Normal, regular sleep. 8 hours, at night. Not during the day!
5. Work out. <--This is the subject of my next post. I strongly suspect it can help...and if it doesn't, at least we'll have tighter bums! XD

wrenegade64

TheLegendaryBrandonHarris wrote: »

If you are ready to make some changes in your life, there are things you can do. You can take back control. It's not a finger snap...it's a process...but it does work.

I couldn't agree more with these words. Situations will ALWAYS happen, good and bad. I don't believe anybody is telling you to not be uptight or upset or sad or mad. Just make sure that while you are taxed or stressed or pissed or whatever that you are DOING something simultaneously. You can do this.

999tigger

Hey sorry things aint so good. Hang in there.

1200 calories for a c300lb person is just way too aggressive for you. Too severe means not enough nutrition and just making it too hard for no reason. You could be eating more and still losing. Its also a common cause in people binging or quitting i.e its a risky strategy and you need to think longer term.

Be patient about your diet and keep learning the common factors for success.

Maybe get some mfp friends or post each situation on here depending on how private you feel. You will always get answers and then you cna decide whether they understood the situation or not and offer any new insights. Its a public forum so you might get varied responses, but strangers can often see things objectively and have different life experience from you.

You have done very well to stick to 1200, but dont try too hard. Everything else cna be sorted out, so try to worry a little less.

TheLegendaryBrandonHarris

I know you guys mean well, but have we verified that her stress and depression is caused by her low calorie goal?

I was 290 pounds and cut from about 3800 a day down to 1200 calories, and the weight loss has done wonders in alleviating my own down-and-out feelings.

Just saying, maybe her intake is fine...

alyhuggan

TheLegendaryBrandonHarris wrote: »

I know you guys mean well, but have we verified that her stress and depression is caused by her low calorie goal?

I was 290 pounds and cut from about 3800 a day down to 1200 calories, and the weight loss has done wonders in alleviating my own down-and-out feelings.

Just saying, maybe her intake is fine...

1200 calories is below pretty much everybody's BMR. You shouldn't really be going that low for long periods of time or you can cause long term damage as that is the amount of calories your body needs to do it's daily functions...especially if you don't make sure you get enough micro-nutrients and other essentials.

dhampir_princess

alyhuggan wrote: »

You're pretty close, I'm 288. And yeah, my calorie goal is 1560 for now which I do just fine with, but some times because of stress or just being too busy I forget to eat that much. I always make sure I have at least 1200 though so I don't go into starvation mode and make things even more difficult.

You're right though, worrying isn't going to help anything. I just need to figure out how to think about the issues at hand so I can deal with it instead of just worrying/ignoring it.

999tigger

TheLegendaryBrandonHarris wrote: »

I know you guys mean well, but have we verified that her stress and depression is caused by her low calorie goal?

I was 290 pounds and cut from about 3800 a day down to 1200 calories, and the weight loss has done wonders in alleviating my own down-and-out feelings.

Just saying, maybe her intake is fine...

Think you are getting confused. I hadnt made any suggestion the depression was linked to 1200 calories. from her post she sounds like shes having a tough time hitting her target, which is a sign she could be eating less than she should be. Thats about diet and is separate.

1560 is much more reasonable and liveable.

Kath_George

You can message me anytime xx

dhampir_princess

Nezz123 wrote: »

Yeah!! Me too! I'm about to post my own thread on the subject. I relate to what you said--about invalidating your own feelings. It helps to keep problems in perspective, but discrediting them altogether can make them worse. But I do it to myself. I think, "Things could be so much worse! I'm a wimp for being stressed/depressed! I'm being ungrateful of my blessings!" To some extent, we have to feel our feelings in order to let them run their course. It's like fire. If you try to smother it, the coals can keep burning for a long time. If you don't feed the flame (through destructive thoughts/behaviors) but give it enough air (by opening yourself up to them), the flame will burn itself out.

That's why I'm here, actually. As much for the mental as for the physical. Other techniques:

1. Happy pills. Escitalopram is cheap and it helped me get back on my feet after a nasty downward spiral. I fought taking it at first, but once I did it helped me regain my balance. (P.S. You might have a panic attack at first. But that passes then you'll probably start feeling much better.)
2. Talk to someone! Pay somebody if you have to! It sucks to flush $75 down the drain, but that's how I'm spending it this Monday! It's worth it though, because professionals don't lecture you, yell at you, or boss you around. They help you find your solutions.
3. Shake up your routine! Do something active, even if you only want to lie in bed! Watch scary movies! Sleepy kittens on YouTube! Get concert tickets! Do something! Anything to distract yourself!
4. Normal, regular sleep. 8 hours, at night. Not during the day!
5. Work out. <--This is the subject of my next post. I strongly suspect it can help...and if it doesn't, at least we'll have tighter bums! XD

I think I might need to take your advice and go see my therapist. It's probably been about a year since I was last in but I think it's time to catch up.
(i SUPER won't be taking any pills because I've had panic attacks from them before and it is soooooo not worth it to me!)
But the rest of your advice is good. I need to remember not to forget all the good habits and info I've learned just because I'm sick back living in a *kitten* situation again.

dhampir_princess

wrenegade64 wrote: »

TheLegendaryBrandonHarris wrote: »

If you are ready to make some changes in your life, there are things you can do. You can take back control. It's not a finger snap...it's a process...but it does work.

I couldn't agree more with these words. Situations will ALWAYS happen, good and bad. I don't believe anybody is telling you to not be uptight or upset or sad or mad. Just make sure that while you are taxed or stressed or pissed or whatever that you are DOING something simultaneously. You can do this.

I'm trying to keep this in mind! I need to keep moving forward and not just give up. It's just difficult for me right now because I don't know where to start untangling the mess I'm in at the moment.
*sigh* one day at a time I guess.

dopeysmelly

I feel for you so much.

I've been binging because of stress/anxiety recently and I'm working on it too.

I don't know whether this helps, but I'm trying to make sure I eat regularly (logic tells me I'm more likely to binge if I'm hungry), mentally separate out the emotional eating from my weight (I've lost 65lbs, reached maintenance and am actually doing ok with my weight, so mentally separating the release I've been seeking from eating from post-binge feelings that I'm undoing all the hard work of weight loss has been really positive for me - I can do this!) and, finally, after posting my struggle on my newsfeed and seeing the wonderful support and suggestions from my MFP friends has made me feel about 1000x more confident and understood.

You can do this!!

louminouche

This might help - it worked for me. Go on youtube and search for visualization techniques - there are a whole lot there - some for destressing and relaxing and lots of other things. Nothing to lose.

dhampir_princess

999tigger wrote: »

Think you are getting confused. I hadnt made any suggestion the depression was linked to 1200 calories. from her post she sounds like shes having a tough time hitting her target, which is a sign she could be eating less than she should be. Thats about diet and is separate.

1560 is much more reasonable and liveable.

Yeah, if I was hungry constantly I would definitely raise my intake. I eat a fair amount actually but its mostly stuff like fruits and vegetables. So if I'm not eating every hour or so those numbers can stay a little low. 1200 is not the norm for me though.

dhampir_princess

louminouche wrote: »

This might help - it worked for me. Go on youtube and search for visualization techniques - there are a whole lot there - some for destressing and relaxing and lots of other things. Nothing to lose.

Thanks for the advice. I think I'll try looking into that tonight after work.

lovefridays

Hugs. Life can be difficult at times and some days all we can do is take it minute by minute.

The advice about the calories is a good one - I had to go to another site to compute how many calories per day I should be eating based on my weight and weight loss goals.

Another idea I have, that has helped me in the past, is to start a blog. You can make it either private or public and only people who want to will read it will. It helps to get your feelings out and reflect on what is going on in your life - by putting your feelings, thoughts, interactions with others into writing you are required to think to ensure you are conveying the right intention. Just a suggestion.

Rosemarie

urloved33

This too shall pass. In the meantime - and there after - walk. walk walk.