Understanding Myself... Maybe this time!

WideAgain

Why am I sharing this story? Because I know there are others out there with similar stories and hopefully sharing my story will get me back on track and help them to see there are others in a similar place.

About 6 years ago I was huge - it happened gradually but I just didn't prioritise me! I had been to the doctor (weighed about 105kg) but I just wasn't in the right frame of mind and work was difficult. He told me not to push it... The time would come.

My sister came to visit a few months later. She'd signed up to MFP. She encouraged me to log what I'd eaten that day... I was fully aware that my estimates were conservative and I was still horrified by what I had shoved in my face!

It was enough to kick start me...

I lost over 4 stone in 6 months and kept it off for a couple of years but work and 'issues' crept in.

I've gained over 15kg.

My weight gain is for different reasons this time. I've been knocked hard on many fronts and have incredibly low self-esteem at the moment. Instead of weight loss being last on the list I'm hoping that weight loss will the thing to kick-start my self-esteem.

Although not diagnosed I know I have depression and will be fighting this too. I regularly shy away from the world and know that logging in will be an issue for me some days - I know, it makes no sense to me either but sometimes I just want to hide! I'm looking for friends who can give me a kick and not too much symathy... I got to get this sorted!

So... Today is the first day of my journey. I have a wedding to go to in August and hopefully I'll be looking for a posh dress for the occasion.