When Skinny People Say They Are Fat..?

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  • DearestWinter
    DearestWinter Posts: 595 Member
    NoIdea101NoIdea wrote: »
    My best advise would be to just emphasise; if she moans about how fat she is, relate to her, say 'I feel totally fat too, but I've been doing this, this and this to combat it and lose weight'. Never confirm/deny her skinny or fatness. Never say 'but oh my God you're so skinny!' or 'yeah, you could lose a few pounds'.

    This is the best response. People have their own perceptions of their bodies and just because they're not technically overweight doesn't mean they're automatically healthy and feel comfortable at that weight.

    I'm getting a little tired of the comments about her having body dysmorphic disorder - I feel that's a term that shouldn't be thrown around so lightly. Someone who complains about their weight doesn't automatically have a serious psychological condition and none of us are in the position to diagnose her.
  • itscattopaz
    itscattopaz Posts: 10 Member
    As someone who struggles with severe body dysmoprhia, I will tell you that there is a good chance that they truly do perceive themselves as fat. They also may be looking for validation that they are "thin"--remember that we live in a society that loves thin people and to hear that we are what society wants is always good to know. But that aside--it's not just your weight that determines what you see in the mirror. It's how you feel about yourself, self esteem, etc.
  • Psychgrrl
    Psychgrrl Posts: 3,177 Member
    JaneiR36 wrote: »
    For me it's more about a specific category of difficulties that one person clearly finds more challenging and the other repeatedly complains about it in their presence. In that case I just think a little sensitivity may be warranted. I say repeatedly because for example, I have no issues listening to a size 2 friend complaining about how she can't find clothes in her size due to vanity sizing where the clothes in the store really turn out to be quite large. But if she repeatedly complains about being fat in my presence and I'm clearly bigger than her, as a friend, I think she would understand if I were to politely ask, hey could you please take it easy on that?

    I also don't believe it's cowardly to bounce a situation off of others to try to figure out how you should react. Not sure if that's necessarily what you meant but I just thought I'd put it out there

    I usually respond to people the same way. Most of the time, people are more receptive to what you have to say when they perceive they're being treated civilly and respectfully. You can use the science and references and reliable sources without making someone fee like an idiot.

    That's my style, I know some people prefer the tough love approach.

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