Photo anxiety

tinab190

i have developed a talent for cropping photos to make me look thinner. Cropping out my arms. Cropping out my butt. Zooming in to just my face. Below is a full body shot from a wedding I attended on March 28, 7 lbs ago. At this point I had lost 40 lbs and felt really great. I was tagged in this photo on facebook tonight by the bride who is so sweet. It was up for about an hour before I saw it, was mortified, removed the tag, and politely emailed the bride. And she is so fantastic and understanding she took it down immediately. AND told me I looked foxy....which was sweet. But even after 40 lbs off at this point in the photo....as soon as I saw it I just felt embarrassed. I know I've made progress. And I'm on my way. But I just wish I didn't look so fat here. I felt pretty. I thought I looked better
than this.

SteampunkSongbird

Well, I think you look lovely, your dress is a great bold colour that says to me, 'I am worth noticing', and a flattering length and neckline too. Rockin' it! I understand your anxiety, I'll make someone take a hundred photos before I accept one they can keep (I too used to crop out my big arms!) but I'm getting better with that, and you will too, it may take a while but eventually you'll see a photo of yourself and say, 'dayum, I'm looking pretty good!' Comparison pics of you at your largest can really help with the perspective on this too.

40lbs is amazing btw, a hearty well done to that!

DawnEmbers

Too bad photo anxiety and issues don't disappear along with the weight. I've lost 50 so far and still, just trying to take a selfie to show my grandmother my new haircut was awful. I hated them all. Still need to work on some of the mental/emotional aspects along with the physical.

You did look great, by the way. I like that color and the shoes really stand out in a fun way.

KingsGirl4

Wow, you look so beautiful! and I love that dress on you! Thank you for being brave and sharing with all of us. You are an inspiration. I hope you see how beautiful you are! LOve love love that smile!!

Alecy22

I think part of the change besides diet of course; is getting over some major mental hurdles and just uploading your photos anyway, i know it may seem hard but since you KNOW you are going to stick to your diet look at it from the perspective that in 3 - 6 months time when people browse through your photo history they will notice the weight you have lost! as they scroll through they'll be very impressed and it really speaks to your character.

In saying all this this though, i am in no way implying you even look bad to begin with! we all judge ourselves much harsher than what other people do. An alternative perspective is; seriously who the hell is ever going to comment on a photo you upload (Assuming you have friends and family added on facebook) saying "Wow you look like *kitten*" no one in their right mind would. And if they did? Wtf delete them, you don't need that BS in your life. you're a beautiful person. You deserve to upload your photos!

To anyone else, feel free to add me. I've only recently started but so far this community is great, lets use each other as a tool of positivity and motivation!

pineapple_peach10

You look beautiful

I can sympathize with the anxiety you feel; I am 75lbs down and still hateeeeee having my picture taken. I find I am even more critical of pictures now than I was 75lbs ago.

I think it just takes time for self confidence to grow. And congrats on your loss!!!! You look great

LadyLots2Lose

Well you're definitely rocking that frock! I love the colour and the cut suits you beautifully. I certainly understand the photo anxiety though. I was at my high school reunion (20 years) a couple of weeks ago and one of my former class mates commented that there weren't any photos of me on the slideshow they had playing. (There were actually two but, they were buried deep and mercifully flashed by quickly). Fast forward 20 years, and in spite of losing more than 30 kilos I still struggle with having photos taken. Though it's getting easier for me as the kilos disappear.

Sarasari

I don't get it you were tagged on Facebook, where people knew you and you didn't want them to see the picture, so you asked the bride to take the picture down, and then you showed it to us a bunch of strangers? Obviously she thought you were beautiful and was happy you were such a part of her happy day.

afacetocallhome

I think you look fabulous!

But, it's hard to get past that mental hurdle. You'll get there, though. There's a phrase that goes something along the lines of "if you don't love your body when you're overweight, you won't love it when you lose weight" and I take that to mean that you have to start appreciating your body now, or you're still going to see all the same flaws, no matter how much weight you lose. This is a challenge I'm facing also. I work on it a little bit every day. I try to think of one thing that I like about myself each day. Sometimes, it's a different thing each day, sometimes it's the same things a few days in a row. It's not always a physical thing, either.

I've also started taking more selfies on days when I feel good. I'll have fun with it, and pull silly faces, or do random things. I don't always share those pictures with anyone, but I keep them as something I can look back on because I liked myself that day. It helps boost my confidence.

At the end of the day, we're all our own worst critics. We can all sit here and tell you how gorgeous you look (you really do - that dress is perfect on you!) but it's not likely to change how you feel about yourself. I believe that you can get past it, though, and one day, you're going to be like "wow!" and I'm excited for you to have that.

P.s. 40lbs is a great achievement, and you should be really proud of yourself.

tinab190

Sarasari, WAY easier for me to show it to strangers on a weight loss site who understand. Rather than my facebook page with people who know me. Some of them have not seen me in a while and that was the part that worried me. Again, no problem at all with the bride for doing it. She meant well. It was my insecurity at the full body shot when I don't feel full body shot ready.

TavistockToad

Sarasari wrote: »

I don't get it you were tagged on Facebook, where people knew you and you didn't want them to see the picture, so you asked the bride to take the picture down, and then you showed it to us a bunch of strangers? Obviously she thought you were beautiful and was happy you were such a part of her happy day.

There's nowt as queer as folk!

tinab190

And thanks all you ladies for the nice feedback. I exude a ton of confidence on the outside, so I imagine my insecurity was a big surprise to the bride! But anyway, thanks again. This is a terrific place to safely share what I don't share with too many.

Also....that pic was a month ago. As of this morning, the official new total is 50.1! I think it's the 0.1 that really makes all the difference.

AmazonMayan

You look amazing! Great job on your loss too!

I so understand the anxiety about pictures. I have a big event coming up in a month and I'm terrified of how I'll look in pictures. I've lost 53 and still have a long way to go.

I do have Facebook settings where I have to approve any tags of me. It helps but I still worry it can be seen.

yhealthy2000

Gorgeous! You look beautiful! Are you healthy? Are you happy? Are you taking good care of yourself? Do you have caring family and friends? Of course, you do...I can tell right away from your beautiful smile. And your friend who respected your feelings and took the photo down. Losing weight is only a small part of the many wonderful things you stand for. Keep working on eating healthy and excercise regularly. Make small achievable goals on a weekly basis and accomplish those goals. You will get there ... To your healthy weight! You look beautiful in the photo!! Gorgeous!!!

SoulSisterSoulBrother

You do look very pretty on that picture. I love it! On another note I fully understand you, I refuse anyone to take photos of me because I think I'm so big. :0( BUT I would like to tell you I still remember (ages ago) thinking Im so fat when I was 136lbs at 5'9.. Obviously I was not now I know.. So that part is all in your head.. You are pretty no matter what. Keep up the good work. :0)

Gabrielm80

You look great dare I say sexy, who ever your date was probably made a few other men jealous

mockchoc

^This yes you do look sexy actually as Gab said. You may not be how you want to be but others I'm sure see Mmmm Size doesn't alway matter with everyone, all people have different tastes. Sorry I didn't read the rest of the thread but guess what I'm barely overweight and even when I was very tiny I was never happy with my photos \ so hugs is all I can do. Feel good as much as you can because you do look great. Trust me.