Your dirty little secret

ItsMeGee3 · April 2015

I hide the really good treats in the vegetable drawer (nobody looks there).

MisterZ33 · April 2015

thats where i keep the beer

ElizabethKalmbach · April 2015

I can still twerk better than most 20-somethings. <Hipster twerking - mastered that *kitten* before there was a word for it.>

dufus12 · April 2015

D9996 wrote: »

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to:

M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc.
Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A.

...along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one.

Too funny, Should have come with a warning - do not read whilst drinking or else you will laugh and it will spurt out your nose,,,,,,,

D9996 · April 2015

dufus12 wrote: »

Too funny, Should have come with a warning - do not read whilst drinking or else you will laugh and it will spurt out your nose,,,,,,,[/quote]

HAHA!!!

blondeinnj · April 2015

I think Justin Beiber looks hot in the Calvin Clein Ad, I'm so ashamed!!!!

FatOldManMN · April 2015

I made Linda Lovelace gag.

Timshel_ · April 2015

None I would admit to in public.

mhecht32 · April 2015

D9996 wrote: »

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to:

M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc.
Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A.

...along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one.

Yep - Thank you!!! You just made my day and made me laugh (when I want to scream), something I direly needed. Thank you for the genuine smile!

LOL I don't intend to divulge my dirty secret, but glad I popped on this thread

.

D9996 · April 2015

mhecht32 wrote: »

Yep - Thank you!!! You just made my day and made me laugh (when I want to scream), something I direly needed. Thank you for the genuine smile! LOL I don't intend to divulge my dirty secret, but glad I popped on this thread .

Youre welcome LOL

madmags · April 2015

shrinkingletters wrote: »

MissMary75044 wrote: »

Sometimes I jam out to Britney Spears, it totally kills my rocker chick cred.

There's this really amazing 10 minute remix of Toxic that gets me GOING.

Ashamed to say, but I know the one and it is awesome.

BigLifter10 · April 2015

I used to be soooo enamored with Ricky Martin. Thought he was so cute in Menudo, then he grew up and was HOT. Everyone told me he was gay (before he came out), I couldn't believe it though. Then, when he announced it....sigh.....crushed. What a waste for the women! LOL I still think he's a cutie pie though.

oneunfitdad · April 2015

at work when every one goes to bed googie to disco

Unknown · April 2015

This content has been removed.

stephaniejsharp · April 2015

I have the biggest crush on john stamos lol

Carpedieznutz · April 2015

I think my neighbor is pretty hot

katnroyal87 · April 2015

I play world of Warcraft!!! I can't help it!!!!

in_it_to_thin_it · April 2015

I own more shoes than I could wear daily for 3 months!

kendall916 · April 2015

I listen to Backstreet Boys

needernt · April 2015

MissMary75044 wrote: »

Sometimes I jam out to Britney Spears, it totally kills my rocker chick cred.

Britney was my dream girl when I was a teenager.

fr3smyl · April 2015

I would but kid videos, such as Barney, The wiggles, backyardigans, Barbie,etc., "for my daughter" and watch them. The songs were just so darn catchy.
She finally outted me to friends and family. But I did learn the Hebrew Alphabet (Alephbeth). So that's a bonus.