I am fat.

unbreakable51

Hello,my name is Carol and I am FAT! Not plump, chubby, or over finished. Just fat! There is no cute way to describe it, nor should there be.
I won't lie to you -- I've been here before. I have stuck with it for awhile, but I lose interest.
I tell myself I really hate counting calories, which is true. But... I think if I did it right, and stayed within my calorie goal, thereby having some success, I wouldn't mind it so much. I hate it because I don't do it right. I underestimate how much I eat, and so I don't lose anything. Then get frustrated, and then.. well, you know. I quit.
So will this time be any different? I guess I really don't know. But.....my username is 'unbreakable'. (Unbreakable51, to be exact, because just unbreakable is already taken, like so many other usernames I've tried. lol)
Unbreakable because I will never give up and never quit starting over. As many times as it takes. Failure, mistakes, misinformation, frustration, menopause, and ignorance will NOT break me.
Measure my portions? Gross! I don't want to do that! What a drag. But I have to. I have to till I recognize how much an appropriate serving is. Record everything that goes into my mouth.
I know that most on this site believe in counting calories. Not a lot of support for extreme diets. I know someone on a low, or no carb diet and she is losing weight. But I see her eat her big bowl of hot dogs for lunch, and that's it. And that is gross to me. That can't be a healthy way to lose weight, if you want to keep it off.
So I'm approaching this with calories in mind. Nutrition too.
Anyone who thinks they can be supportive of someone like me -- a 51 year old woman, who needs to lose 50 pounds or so, please feel free to add me.
Any advice is appreciated.