im trying to lose 80lbs and husband isnt helping!

dragonlady162

hi I am new to this whole weight loss thing. I have always been a husky girl, but since I have been with my husband I have gone from big boned to just plain fat. he can eat anything he wants, triple burgers, pizza etc and not gain a pound. unfortunately that is not the case for me. I gain just by looking at an apple. so this is going to be very hard for me to watch him eat the way he does and me not being able to. any advice and support will be greatly appreciated!! thank you!

Ninkyou

You can still have pizza and burgers. Just fit them into your calorie goal. Everything in moderation. Don't make yourself miserable by cutting things out. You got this.

cdlee05

What he eats does not make you gain weight. Obviously less support from the hubby won't make it easy for you but you have to take time to buy your own foods at the store, make your own meals in advance and get that exercise in.

lharrop1669

Hang in there! I know how that goes. My husband eats like there is no tomorrow. It is tough to not grab something when we go out. Often, I am not even hungry, but I order and eat it anyway.
I was lean and watched my foods, after having lost 40lbs. But, after keeping it off for 3 years, I have put it back on! I am in the battle again.
Welcome aboard and congratulations for taking the first step!

Lasmartchika

Learn to eat smaller portions of foods you already eat, making sure that whatever you do eat stays within your daily calories. Instead of a triple burger, get a single cheeseburger, instead of 1/2 a pizza, eat 1/4.... things like that. Start that way, after all the important part is to stick to your daily calories given. Obviously I'm not telling you to eat all these things everyday, but learn to eat them in moderation... don't try to give them up cold turkey. Remember this isn't about dieting, it's about a lifestyle change... and there will always be picnics, and parties, and going to eat out with friends and family, so you have to learn how to incorporate those types of foods with healthy choices everyday. :flowerforyou:

Oh, and welcome to MFP! :drinker:

jnv7594

You have to get to the point where you can be around that food without it bothering you. He's obviously not going to change, so you have to change your mindset. It can be done. I've done it myself. I live in a house where there is always yummy food around, but I've also learned to manage portions and make this food fit within my calories here and there. That way I'm not denying myself and binging on it later. Also, as others have said, you can still have pizza and burgers. Just learn to eat them in smaller portions. Is it fair that he can eat a triple cheeseburger, while you are stuck with a 4 oz. burger or that he can eat a whole pizza while you are eating 2 or 3 slices? No, but it is what it is. Focus on your goals and what you're eating, not him and what he's eating.

kristen_wino

Congratulations on your goal. My bf that I live with eats junky, it's hard to watch, since he won't join me in my healthier eating. Especially since I'm the one cooking and have to make his dinners as well as my own. It's so frustrating. When I try to add veggies to his food and he refuses. Maybe they'll both catch on sooner or later.

DMLC2014

I make things rather easy!! I make only one meal- if no one likes it ....oh well!! They can always cook themselves!!

latishagarcia

I know how you feel my husband just refuses to workout with me or change his eating habits. My weightloss is like a roller coaster! Constantly up and down since having our daughter I gained 40 lbs!! Hoping to lose 60. I was down 15 gained 17 back hectic lifestyle. Just try to stay motivated and follow your mind when it's leading you to the healthy choices.

TinyRaccoon19

My husband also eats big and unhealthily. I was raised with dad gets more because he works. So as an adult I told myself I work as hard as my husband so I *deserve* to eat the same as him. Evenings were the worst; the tv would go on and out would come the junkfood. I'd down 250g chocolate, a big bag of crisps, and 1 litre of coca-cola.

Now I workout in the evening's while he eats and watches tv (so I'm not tempted). Now I tell myself I *deserve* to look and feel great.

veronicatucker77

Don't quit...Keep going! Don't let your husband's behavior deter you from reaching your goals and changing your eating habits! Just eat smaller portions and try to eliminate some things from the meal. (Try a burger w/o the bun or skip the fries and soft drink, eat one slice of pizza with a salad instead of half a pizza). Don't forget to burn some calories!!!

misssmadalyn

I have pizza twice a week, tamales 1-2 times a week, lasangna, cocunut shrimp, even Nutella (once every 2 weeks) I've lost 50.. You have to be realistic with the goals you make.. I can't only eat salads the rest of my life.. It's just not realistic. Put foods you like into your new "diet" & make sure the way you choose to eat while your losing is how you can eat the rest of your life. I love fiber bars I have one every other day they are delicious. If your in a store & you see something that would really tempt you at home don't get it! I can't buy "cinnamon fiber bar cakes" because I would eat the whole box. I buy something I enjoy but I can still control myself.

barbaraeldred1966

I've got about the same amount of weight to lose and am in a similar position. My husband I used to eat the same portion size as well as the same rubbish. My problem was i live a more sedentary life than him, his job makes him much more physical.

But you've acknowledged your problem now you can work with it. Good luck x

dutchandkiwi

DMLC2014 wrote: »

I make things rather easy!! I make only one meal- if no one likes it ....oh well!! They can always cook themselves!!

Same here. Nothing in my marriage vows says that I am the only possible cook in the household and have to pander to every whim.

1JoshG

It really is a struggle when only one partner works to lose weight. It's made it more difficult for me

bunsen_honeydew

Use it to your advantage. You eat a 1/4 of a pizza and he eats the rest so there are no leftovers to tempt you later !

misssmadalyn

bunsen_honeydew wrote: »

Use it to your advantage. You eat a 1/4 of a pizza and he eats the rest so there are no leftovers to tempt you later !

This is what I do with my mom & sister

CockneyLady2014

My husband eats what he wants even though he is overweight. It does take will power but I just let him get on with it. If I am cooking a meal that he considers "diet" food I leave him to do something for himself. There are a lot of foods that both of us can eat so that is easier. I don't bake cakes anymore but that doesn't stop him buying them. I've stopped buying biscuits unless they are just plain and simple. I suppose I am lucky in that I don't like pizza and I really have to fancy a beefburger. I agree try not to give up things that you like just try to build it into your calorie allowance. Good luck.

DeFYneME

IT also depends on whether you like eating all that... ask urself, is it doing you any good... probably not... then let him have the whole thing... and challenge yourself that you're going to do this... not for him not for anyone else.. but you... its a tough ride...but you either do it.. or give up and eat all that...

You've taken one step by joining MFP... take the next.. do yourself good.. we're all here... I am too!

My point here is.. why should he give up what he likes eating? why don't you? its about you right? do it... you'll get there.. it will take some time...

CherokeeBabe

Sorta been here. I dated a guy (honestly a couple guys, but one that was really bad) that ate a ton of crap and being around him, going on dates, hanging out, definitely led me into eating bad things I normally never touched. I had to turn things around, just for myself and didn't try to suggest or force him into changing his personal diet. You just have to take control over yourself. Before long he started wanting to eat my stuff and became self-conscious about the health of his diet when he saw me changing mine and shying away from the super calorie-heavy stuff that I'd normally share in with him. I started saying 'no' a lot more, cooking just for myself every day, choosing lighter options on dates. Just work on you. Relationships come and go in life, sometimes people don't stay together forever even. You can't let a partner get in the way of what is right for you.

DMLC2014

Go find some really good recipes in your books or online. Try at least one new meal each week. Everyone has to give it a try. I trained my son that way. Get your kids involved too--just don't talk about fats or call it diet food. Food is a tool to keep yourself healthy.

JeanMBK

So much good advice has been given here and so much encouragement! One thing I will add, you may have days that you don't keep in your calorie count. Don't beat yourself up over it, it happens to all of us. Start again the next meal/day. You can change your lifestyle but it takes time.

JeanMBK

So much good advice has been given here and so much encouragement! One thing I will add, you may have days that you don't keep in your calorie count. Don't beat yourself up over it, it happens to all of us. Start again the next meal/day. You can change your lifestyle but it takes time.

nekoface

I cook for both me and my husband and he has a naturally much higher metabolism. One of the things I did is switch from rice to cauliflower rice for dinner (when we're having rice) and weighing out my portions.

KathleenCora

You can't control what other people do. Accept that and move on. You however can control what you do, what you eat, if your workout....and your mindset. Love your husband for who he is a person that you choose as your life partner. He is not you and maybe at this point in his life doesn't want to lose weight or eat healthy. You do. Make good choices for you and your future together. My husband was not supportive like some other spouses on MFP however he wasn't as bad as some on here as well. I wasn't going to force him to eat like me but I took control of myself and I'm not going to rely on him for something that is just for me. I started 8 months ago and in the last month he has started talking about wanting to go on walks with me and maybe start eating better. You be the support you need and maybe you will be the change your husband needs to see to be more supportive. Its always a 2 way street in marriage.

amybethshelby

Hi! I'm on the same boat! My husband and I have always been foodies. It was hard to learn to make healthy substitutions. When we go for pizza I always get spinach and tomato instead of pepperoni. If it's a burger place, I lose the cheese and catsup and mustard (extra sugar there ) and only have lettuce and tomato on it. If I can, I choose a whole wheat bun. I try to swap all the starchy choices with something green or with protien. If i fall off the wagon, i just add a 30 minute cardio session. He prefers me chunky. I prefer me healthy. I'm just starting out on this journey again after losing 50 lbs 2 yrs ago and eventually gaining 20 back. I had a mini heart attack last November at 50 yrs old and it opened my eyes. I have 50 more lbs to lose. Good luck to us both!