Binge eater needs help! Please help! At wits end!

bethweathersbee

I hope there is someone here that can help me. I have started FP I don't know how many times just to find myself binge eating again. I feel like I don't have control over food, but it certainly has control over me. I think about food all the time and it seems the more I try to take control, the more I eat and binge. When I say binge, I mean eating foods that are loaded in calories and fat every day. I start out great and then I suddenly lose control and start eating things like icecream, cookies, cake, etc. I've always had a weight problem, even as a child, but nothing like I'm struggling with now. I am 59 years old and always been active. I had to stop doing Zumba and yes, even yoga due to back problems. I have been trying to walk/jog lately. I used jog a lot years ago and loved it! I get the mindset where I tell myself,"What the heck, why exercise if Im going to overeat and binge?" I love FP, but I feel so restricted with only 1300 cal. a day. Please, if there is anyone that can give me some advice and encouragement, you don't know how much I would appreciate it. Sorry to be so long winded!

shadowfax_c11

I would be pretty unhappy on 1300 a day too. I tried it for a few days and honestly I don't know how anyone does it. For me 2000 is much more reasonable. Luckily MFP allows me a very comfortable 2400 and I tend to get a lot of extra calories from exercise. I would suggest getting a fitbit and tracking your activity and see if you can earn yourself some extra calories through exercise.

Also. Don't cut out the junk food cold turkey. Allow yourself a small amount of it every day and just make it a part of your overall calorie intake. That way you don;'t get slammed by the cravings so hard that you sit down and eat an entire tub of ice cream. It is perfectly okay to eat sweets in moderation. If you can't have it around the house just go to the store when you feel the need and buy one portion of something. And enjoy it.

Loosing weight should not have to mean being miserable.

Quilterbunny

Yes, that can be frustrating! Try just having one cookie or 1/2 cup of ice cream and then find something to do to keep your mind off it. I try to keep between 1200-1300 calories a day and usually am satisfied but it may take a while for your body to get used to this. Hang in there - you CAN DO THIS! On the days you do get out for your walk, try to not eat all the calories back

LavenderLeaves

Imo, anyone who has food issues should really try to completely disassociate food from working out. Exercise and movement is for feeling better and more fit. I work out at least 4 days a week, even if I've eaten less than ideally for that week, because I always feel physically better as a result, and it helps my mood greatly. I keep my goals for becoming more fit completely separate from what it is I put in my mouth and my calories. If you love jogging, that is definitely something you should be doing even if you aren't eating to your ideal liking.

Like @shadowfax_c11 says, 1300 sounds a bit low? How many pounds a week are you attempting to lose and how many more pounds are you looking to lose? For bingers and compulsive eaters...the best way to sabotage how we fix our food habits is by heavy restriction. The end goal should be to see all food as effectively the same and as something that won't end up putting us in vulnerable headspaces. It is not an overnight process. It's not even a one month process. It's something that takes months of trying to learn moderation of all foods so you can eventually deal with minimizing those intense, horrible cravings that end up driving you to overeat on specific foods. Are you logging all your food right now?

KornishPiskie

Hi bethweather,

I totally feel your pain. I was the same as you and just felt a spiral going down and down. you try to exercise to combat it and its still not enough to deal with the binge eating. I went to a hypnotist and very recently and I have to say have seen an amazing change in myself. I don't crave chocolate and I eat slowly and enjoy every part of my meal. I would totally recommend it. It terms of weight loss this is my second week and Im fighting an underactive thyroid so Im looking at it in how I feel about food and I feel great and in control. Find someone qualified and reasonably priced and definitely recommended. I saved 780 cals last week without thinking about it. Hope this helps!

vgnfarmer

Just keep at it! You'll get there! I've started endless times and have never been at a average weight but I will do it!
Eating higher fat has helped me get a handle on food and appetite. I don't buy or make "trigger foods regularly. I don't cut them out completly but I plan for them and have them when i'm feeling relaxed and aware rather than tired and stressed. I agree with the other posters about not resticting too much. That is a sure fire way to a binge for me.
Any day at maintence or below i'm happy with. I look for majority of "reducing" and "maintaining" days/weeks vs "gaining". I have a tendency to say "oh well I already blew it" and then continue the binge. I now work on giving myself credit any time i'm able to stop the binge mid-way or get right back on track the next day.
I don't attend regularly but calling in to phone OA meetings has helped me too. Good luck! Oxo

SueInAz

Perhaps you have your weight loss goal set too aggressively? Your goal is to lose 21 more pounds so, really, you shouldn't be trying to lose weight faster than 1/2 pound per week. Change your goal and MFP will give you more calories. Losing slowly is better than not losing at all because you keep sabotaging yourself. The end goal should be you losing the weight you want and then maintaining that weight loss. There shouldn't be a big hurry to get to goal because not much should be changing when you get there except you'll have a few more calories to eat each day.

As far as the binging... Some people do okay with moderating themselves to just one or two cookies, a slice of cake or a one half cup serving of ice cream. Is that something you could do without overworking your willpower? If yes, then build a treat or two into your meal plan for the day. Many people find that not depriving themselves helps to fend off the eventual binges.

If you can't control yourself with those types of foods, have you given any thought to just not buying it at all? Or at least not buying big amounts? If it's not in the house, you can't eat it. Instead of buying cookies, cake and ice cream buy more whole fruit, raw veggies and frozen fruit bars (my go-to at about 70 calories each instead of ice cream).

burnsgene42

When I first started all this my wife would help my plate. What she put on the plate, that was it.
I would schedule a cheat meal when I hit a certain goal like lose 5 lbs. If I couldn't stand it I would eat an apple or banana or something good for me. When you feel the urge go outside for a walk, or take a shower. Anything to break up the craving/eating habit.
If you do break and overeat , try to eat less calories the next day or exercise to offset the binge.
Get rid of all the junk food in the house. If it ain't there you can't eat it.
If this was easy everyone would be doing it.
You've started which puts you ahead of all the folks who don't even realize they have a problem.
Stay with it. Good Luck!!

ellskiNZ

I would suggest seeing a therapist - it sounds a bit dramatic but it was really helpful for me to reduce binging. Like others said, I just don't buy things like ice cream or cookies - I'm rarely going to leave the house to go and buy some, especially if it's in the evening and I'm already in my pjs.

sungoddess337

I too struggle with this but find a moment of meditation or prayer each morning helps

Lindy901

I don't really have anything to add. The others I think said it all pretty well. I too have problem with bingeing, today for instance. My problem is mostly during the day when I'm working. Suddenly I start looking for a snack. Ugh!

Sevend7

I have found that rather than focusing on what you cant or are not allowed to eat (which drives the binges) try adding more good stuff in. Simply remove the rules that cause your mind to focus on the "you cant" like all the good stuff but start by adding a lot more good foods, eventually it will force out the bad all on its own.

salembambi

find out what your TDEE is and eat consistently at that number for a while do not think about restricting right now as it just continues the binge cycle

focus on trying to get control of your eating and releasing the obsessive thoughts about food & not so much on weight loss. I would also stay off the scale for a while if you can. Keep a journal and write down how you are feeling during or after a binge so you can recognize behavioral problems and what triggers a binge. Also it just feels good to write out feelings anyway. Join the binge eating support group on this website & maybe even consider getting therapy.

ummm oh and most important do your very best to be kind to yourself ,especially after a binge. You are human its okay you will figure it out and it will get easier . Take it day by day

Camarose79

For me I have to restrict what I actually bring into the house. I'll eat a whole big bag of chips. So I had to just stop buying chips. Now instead if buying and eating about 3 or 4 bags of chips a week ill have maybe 2 a month. Still eat them all but way less often.

blossomingbutterfly

1300 a day sounds low and restrictive. Have you thought about changing your goal to lose less weight per week? Adjusting to 1lb a week gives you more calories to work with thus you can eat more. No point in restricting yourself too much or you won't stick to it. Make it a reasonable goal.

As for binging, what others have suggested. Do give yourself treats. Find out why your are binging. Don't restrict yourself. Drink more water. Allow yourself to eat what you want. Good luck.

Klhernandez81

I found the more I stressed about restricting calories and not eating the worse I was. Calorie counting can be a binge eaters worst enemy as it may set you up to fail since control is the the problem and you spend a lot of time thinking about controlling the calories you are not supposed to eat. A few things have worked well for me: 1) picking a new way of eating to focus on that can write you and you can take "control" over; like Mediterranean, vegan, whole foods, paleo, whatever works for you,(not a diet, a long term sustainable way to eat), and really researching the food plan, the foods in it, how to eat in-line with that plan, and what your way of eating might look like. Ultimately, I am a flexitarian, but I really got into learning about plant based foods, how what I put in me effects my health and planning out my meals. For me, it replaced the former focus on not eating food and allowed me to still"reward" myself, but with healthy choices, like a smoothie or kale quinoa salad. It sounds weird, but it's about control with eating issues and that is a really hard thing for a lot of people to understand. You have to change your relationship from negative to positive and focus on good foods and stress less about the bad foods. 2) have a cheat day. I left one weekend day open to eat a meal of whatever. If I am really thinking about pizza or donuts or whatever, I remind myself it will be worth it at my cheat meal. 3) none of my cheat foods make it into my house except for my cheat meal in the portion I am going to eat at that time (you don't want leftovers)!

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scotvalkyrie

Everyone here has said some really good things. Sometimes I feel like, "what's the point?" in particular if I've overindulged on something high-calorie -- like I meant to only eat 1/2 cup of the gelato and then ate the whole darn container, so I figure, "well, heck, I just blew my calories out of the water, let's attack the cookies too." So believe me, I do understand. However, I once heard something that gave me pause:

"If you drop one egg on the floor, do you automatically throw the rest of the dozen on the floor too?"

We're all going to drop an egg from time to time. But we don't HAVE to throw the rest of the eggs down too! It's okay to drop an egg; it's how we deal with the fact we dropped an egg that makes a difference. So it's okay to slip up -- we are human after all -- but the point is to take a breath, log in the goody we just ate, and keep the rest of the eggs on the counter.

Good luck!

Unknown

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lablover07

I can completely understand your dilemna. Binging and feeling out of control is awful and so often I feel like tomorrow will be different. I've now had a very good 7 days in a row this is what helped me focus...and they're all things I've read on these community boards
**check the before/after pictures, the ones who are down even 20# look amazingly different!
**the first 5-7 days are the most difficult when getting started...
**for me, the first few days I know I'm better off not having sweets at all. If I have one piece of candy I'll have 20. That's why I know I need to not have any in the beginning. 7 days in and I'm more in control.
Hope this helps!!!

janisvin

Please try Overeaters Anonymous.
Very valuable and you can still use MFP and have it work. Please don't punish yourself. We all binge.

CryingInColor

Change your goal to maintaining your weight. Stay under that calorie limit and you will lose weight. It will be much slower but you will still lose.

bethweathersbee

vgnfarmer wrote: »

Just keep at it! You'll get there! I've started endless times and have never been at a average weight but I will do it!
Eating higher fat has helped me get a handle on food and appetite. I don't buy or make "trigger foods regularly. I don't cut them out completly but I plan for them and have them when i'm feeling relaxed and aware rather than tired and stressed. I agree with the other posters about not resticting too much. That is a sure fire way to a binge for me.
Any day at maintence or below i'm happy with. I look for majority of "reducing" and "maintaining" days/weeks vs "gaining". I have a tendency to say "oh well I already blew it" and then continue the binge. I now work on giving myself credit any time i'm able to stop the binge mid-way or get right back on track the next day.
I don't attend regularly but calling in to phone OA meetings has helped me too. Good luck! Oxo

bethweathersbee

Thanks so much!

bethweathersbee

SueInAz wrote: »

Perhaps you have your weight loss goal set too aggressively? Your goal is to lose 21 more pounds so, really, you shouldn't be trying to lose weight faster than 1/2 pound per week. Change your goal and MFP will give you more calories. Losing slowly is better than not losing at all because you keep sabotaging yourself. The end goal should be you losing the weight you want and then maintaining that weight loss. There shouldn't be a big hurry to get to goal because not much should be changing when you get there except you'll have a few more calories to eat each day.

As far as the binging... Some people do okay with moderating themselves to just one or two cookies, a slice of cake or a one half cup serving of ice cream. Is that something you could do without overworking your willpower? If yes, then build a treat or two into your meal plan for the day. Many people find that not depriving themselves helps to fend off the eventual binges.

If you can't control yourself with those types of foods, have you given any thought to just not buying it at all? Or at least not buying big amounts? If it's not in the house, you can't eat it. Instead of buying cookies, cake and ice cream buy more whole fruit, raw veggies and frozen fruit bars (my go-to at about 70 calories each instead of ice cream).

bethweathersbee

Thanks SuelnAz. I can't eat just a small piece of cake or just one cookie. I end up eating a huge slice of cake and about 5 cookies...not to mention the milk.

bethweathersbee

scotvalkyrie wrote: »

Everyone here has said some really good things. Sometimes I feel like, "what's the point?" in particular if I've overindulged on something high-calorie -- like I meant to only eat 1/2 cup of the gelato and then ate the whole darn container, so I figure, "well, heck, I just blew my calories out of the water, let's attack the cookies too." So believe me, I do understand. However, I once heard something that gave me pause:

"If you drop one egg on the floor, do you automatically throw the rest of the dozen on the floor too?"

We're all going to drop an egg from time to time. But we don't HAVE to throw the rest of the eggs down too! It's okay to drop an egg; it's how we deal with the fact we dropped an egg that makes a difference. So it's okay to slip up -- we are human after all -- but the point is to take a breath, log in the goody we just ate, and keep the rest of the eggs on the counter.

Good luck!

bethweathersbee

I can relate to everything you said! I love the quote about the eggs. I think I will post in on my frig. Thanks to everyone for being so supportive and encouraging.

bethweathersbee

Thanks to all of you so much. There is such good advice here and I will certainly try to start putting some of it into practice. I also wish yoiu all the best of luck in living a more healthier lifestyle.

jgnatca

I wish you all success. If you change your thinking about control, I believe the habits will follow. There's an internal tug-of-war, leading you to try to control ever tighter, leading to breakouts of behavior. You are interpreting every breakout as a loss of control and try and rein it in even tighter. You have to loosen the reins a bit and give your body the lead. Trust it. When your inner self is convinced that you will never allow yourself to be deprived, I suspect you will loosen up and be able to maintain control around trigger foods.

In the meantime, control your environment. Have a small amount of treat in controlled portions and lower calorie available when you really need it. Maybe store it in the freezer and take out one a day.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/jgnatca/view/riding-the-elephant-736034

fairy2b

I found that starting out on my weight loss journey, having self control around trigger binge eating foods was non existent, so I had to remove the temptations. If you can't eat the cake and chips in moderation (I couldn't, moderation was never my forte!) then don't buy it to begin with. You will eat what you have in your house. Make a list when you go grocery shopping based on what meals you'll be making during the week and don't even go by the aisles that have that tasty junk. Stick to your list, no exceptions! If you have people in your household who bring those things in, you need to have a conversation that they can't be leaving it in communal kitchen areas. Eat it elsewhere. I also had to become somewhat of a hermit and stopped dining out for the first 6 weeks until I got a better understanding of nutrition and what I was doing. Otherwise, it was too tempting to just say F * @ K IT! and just order the foods I liked to binge on. There are so many aspects to binge eating and I feel your struggle, I know this is only part of it. I have been there and I know how hard it is. Best of luck, we are cheering you on!