In Need of Motivation... Again.

ninjawaffles22

I have started my weight loss journey on February 1st. My height is 5'5 and I weighed 134 lbs (I know that js not overweight, I just wanted to lose about 14 lbs to be happier with myself). I ate about 1200 calories a day and not eating any of my exercise calories back, even if I burned 800+ calories. This was not sustainable nor healthy, but I was losing weight so I stuck with it. I felt starved all the time, and was becoming overly obssessed. I eventually said "what the heck" and started binge eating on a daily basis because of how much I restricted myself. Everyday I would tell myself "I'll get back on track tomorrow, so eat whatever you want today," yet I have not seen the day where I have been eating at or below maintainance since I "quit" dieting. I still workout on a daily basis though, but not nearly as hard as I did before. Now I am back at square one. I was wondering if any of my fellow MFP users have come across this, and how they overcame it. I just can't seem to stop my cravings, and when they hit, I come up with some excuse to eat whatever I am craving. Before I know it, I am 1000 calories over my goal. I really want to lose the weight back, but in a healthy and sustainable way. I don't want to live like I did while dieting my first time. All it did was make me become overly obsessed, caused me to hate myself even more, then cause me to eat more. I'm desperate! Please help!

nebslp

You are very young (compared to me!), so now is a great time to learn to eat healthy and feel good. Starvation isn't necessary to lose weight, and even more so, it's not sustainable over time as you've already found out. I suggest using an online calculator to find out how many calories you burn in a day just from regular activity. You probably burn over 1200 calories just to keep you alive, so you're going to need to eat at least that amount so you don't damage your body. Once you know your daily burn (which may be closer to 2000 calories), make a modest cut making sure to get your macros in line. Protein is your friend! It will satisfy you more than carbs and it's especially important when you're working out. Good fats are good in moderation...olive oil, nuts, seeds, etc. even though they are high in calories. Logging my food on mfp has helped me become aware of what I'm eating as well as how much and identifying when a category is out of whack (carbs, fat, protein). You must be patient and persistent if you want permanent results. Losing even a pound or less a week will have you at your goal by Sept. and your chances of keeping it off will be greater than if you starve yourself and lose quickly. If you start working out with weights (if not already doing that) you might find your body changes in positive ways even though the number on the scale doesn't drop. You will feel the difference in the way your clothes fit. Don't give up! Ever! You're wise to be looking for help at this point in your life. Good luck!

maidentl

I used to be you. I would recommend eating just a bit under your maintenance and take your time losing it. It'll be easier to stick with and you'll reach your goal, slowly but surely. I wish I could go back in time and give myself this same advice!

Psychgrrl

It seems like you and food do not have the most positive relationship. First you over-restricted and then you over-ate. Try for a happy medium! Give your body the nutrition it needs and allow for some treats within that range. Your weight is in the healthy range, why will you be happier at 120? It doesn't seem like trying to get there made you happy.

Can you focus on health? What about some strength training? Or training for a 5k or other event. Something to give you a more positive view of all the awesome things your body can do that will shift focus from a specific number.

PAV8888

Hello OP. I will go out on a limb here. Maybe other people will shoot me down. Maybe they won't.

I am thinking that you may be on your way down a very dangerous path, heading straight to yo-yo dieting, a lot of future hurt, and possibly a disturbed relationship with food, and here's why:

You started at an absolutely normal weight (5ft 5", 134lbs, 22.3 BMI, 55% of people your age had a higher BMI). With the goal of losing 14lbs (5ft 5", 120lbs, 20.0 BMI, 71% of people your age would have had a higher BMI).

With a TDEE (based on your exercise figures), of more than 2350, you then proceeded to eat 1200Cal a day. A cut of well over 1000Cal a day on average.

As a result you proceeded to lose weight, probably at a much faster rate than the <0.5% of your bodyweight that would have been "safe".

Your body revolted and defended itself by making you feel lethargic, hungry, and unable to workout as hard... basically it slowed you down.

The weight you lost consisted of water, fat, and muscle. The water weight (glycogen depletion) is a borrowed weight loss. 100% of it comes back when you replenish your glycogen reserves. The fat you lost was the weight loss you wanted to achieve. But, you also lost (possibly as much as an equal amount of) muscle mass; an unfortunate side effect of this whole fiasco.

In addition to losing some muscle (which slows down your caloric needs at rest) your metabolism also adapted to the reduction in calories, bringing your resting rate even lower. And on top of that your whole body primed itself to try and restore your weight to where it was before... and just a bit more to boot, you know, for insurance in case this bloody famine comes around again!

And, of course, in the state you are in, the additional weight is going to come in as fat, not muscle, leading you to a worse situation than you started.

I am sure that all this rings a bell for many people on MFP.

So what can you do?

Take a deep breath. This will take some time and effort.

Kiss this summer goodbye and try to contain the damage and prime yourself for a better future. At this stage I don't think you should by trying to lose weight right now, or in the near future.

Concentrate instead on finding your current maintenance level and slowing down your weight gain while morphing it into muscle building.

Basically look into reverse dieting and controlling your weight gain as much as you can till the combination of slow weight gain and the passage of time convinces your body to stabilize.

This may take a few months. Quite possibly as much as six months. Maybe even a year. I would not look into trying to reduce weight again until at least six months from now.

AND, when the time comes to reduce weight, assuming you decide to do so, I would approach things very cautiously, and with a very small deficit. In the 250Cal range this time instead of 1250!

Edit to add: And to echo what other people have said, the weight loss reason you state ("to be happier with myself") raises some concerns.

Camo_xxx

Let's see, you started A diet you think is unhealthy so you could lose weight that you know you don't need to lose in an effort to be happy with yourself ? Perhaps and I am reaching here as I do not pretend to know your situation but perhaps the issue with " being happier with myself" is the issue you should be addressing with a profesional therapist.

Sued0nim

That's what happens when you overly restrict

I would suggest you eat at your maintenance level and start a progressive lifting programme - to achieve your goal of 'happy with your body' at a healthy weight

fit and strong is the way to go