Guilty feeling- Addicted to the GYM & WORKING OUT
Jesusjohnjames
Posts: 378 Member
I feel guilty for going to the GYM, and leaving the kids with my husband. I feel like I should be home cooking or cleaning. I go right after work. The kids are in school ALL day.
Im only gone for about 1.5 hours. I go Every single day & on Saturday I drag the kids there. My little son hates going to the YMCA.
My goal Weight is 8lbs away. I feel addicted to the GYM
I cant stop working out.
Im only gone for about 1.5 hours. I go Every single day & on Saturday I drag the kids there. My little son hates going to the YMCA.
My goal Weight is 8lbs away. I feel addicted to the GYM
I cant stop working out. 0
Replies
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Maybe once I reach my goal I can CALM DOWN lol0
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I think you're being a great role model for your kids, actually. You're teaching them about dedication and hard work!
Maybe take them hiking or something on the weekend. You can work out and have family time!0 -
Could you maybe get up and go BEFORE work, that you're home in the evenings? Get rid of that guilt-trip going.
And there are far worse things to be addicted to, but when any addiction starts becoming the priority over the rest of your life it becomes unhealthy, even if the addiction is to eating healthy or exercising. The "can't stop" comment is what catches my eye. I love the gym, I want to go more often than I do, but family comes first to me.0 -
As a working mother myself, who also loves to exercise, I think there needs to be some balance. My solution was to (1) get a treadmill for home, so I can at least run when the kids are doing homework, napping etc, (2) try activities with the kids or at times when the kids are also busy (e.g. currently I swim when the kids are also engaged in after school activities) and (3) limit the gym visits and outdoor running to when my husband (you could use a friend or relative of babysitter) can watch the kids, usually after they are in bed, so I do not lose quality time with them.
Nothing wrong with being addicted to exercise, but the way you describe it, it does not sound healthy for your realtionship with your kids.0 -
Before work is MY only option to not feeling guilty.0
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Who wants to get up at 4:30 am tho?0
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Jesusjohnjames wrote: »Who wants to get up at 4:30 am tho?
someone who wants to spend time with their kids after school?0 -
TavistockToad wrote: »Jesusjohnjames wrote: »Who wants to get up at 4:30 am tho?
someone who wants to spend time with their kids after school?
Right
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I've no children so I cannot relate to your specific guilty feeling; however I too have made working out a priority - rather I'm at the gym, running, biking etc. I've passed or arrived an hour later on a few girl's nights and other events just so I could get in a workout. I feel a little tinge of guilt, as I could have given up a workout to hang with the girls or whatever; but 100% of the time I'm so glad I did workout for a couple of reasons #1 I made working out a priority and it reaffirms by dedication #2 I know if I miss one workout no biggie; but missing a couple in a row - can soon spiral into a week, a month etc (for me personally) - and I rather not go there #3 usually when I do arrive at my destination I'm greeted with "no wonder you look so great" or "you're so inspiring", and I can enjoy that glass of wine "guilt free"!!!. So it's always a win-win! Plus, a few years down the road which do you think you'll be happy about... staying fit or cooking & cleaning. Let the kids enjoy time with dad and vice versa!0
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Jesusjohnjames wrote: »Who wants to get up at 4:30 am tho?
I used to go at 5am because I had an 8am-10.30pm day and would always be too tired to go after.0 -
Jesusjohnjames wrote: »Who wants to get up at 4:30 am tho?
I get up at 4am, but not because of kids, rather because of work schedule.
You’re looking at this from a single pixel and not the bigger picture. Time is not the right measure of value when spending time with and taking care of family. It is quality. By getting healthier, you’re going to be able to give your family more quality and (because you’ll live longer) much, much more time than the piddly number of hours you spend at the gym. And I imagine your stress level is much better controlled and you’re a nice person to be around.
So relax. Enjoy your gym time. Then hug the stuffing your of your kids with those new muscles you’ve built.
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I schedule my exercise to have minimal impact on my family life. That means exercising before work most days with maybe one or two evening or Saturday/Sunday afternoon workouts a week.
Frankly, I would be pissed if my husband started going to the gym for 90 minutes every weeknight plus on Saturdays. Our family time is already limited due to work and school and there are plenty of ways to exercise without limiting it that much further.0 -
Jesusjohnjames wrote: »Who wants to get up at 4:30 am tho?
ME! I get up at 4am to go to the gym and I love it. I love the roads being empty. I love feeling like I've done more by 6am than most people do all day. I love having the gym to myself.
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You have to do what works for your own family situation. For me, I go to the gym at night, after my 3 kids go to bed...or during my lunch hour if my work day isn't too busy.0
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I workout on my lunch as I too dont want to miss out on seeing my son in the evening/weekend! We are full time working parents so the time we have together as a family in the evening and weekend is precious!
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Maybe work out more efficiently? A full body compound lifting routine can take an hour 3x a week. You don't need cardio, so you can alternate w rest days and see your kids (it's not all cooking and cleaning - come on). Or take the kids for a walk or bike ride after work as your cardio/rest days.
Sorry, but I think what you're doing isn't great.0 -
lmjohnson110 wrote: »Jesusjohnjames wrote: »Who wants to get up at 4:30 am tho?
ME! I get up at 4am to go to the gym and I love it. I love the roads being empty. I love feeling like I've done more by 6am than most people do all day. I love having the gym to myself.
+1
Sucks my work schedule changed and I gotta go in the evening with the normal people. Lol.0 -
If your husband doesn't mind watching the kids, why is it a problem?0
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This is a huge part of the reason I do most of my working out during my lunch at my job's gym. I'll also get up at the azzcrack of dawn on Saturdays or Sundays to do one long session so I can be home by 8-9am.
If the weather is agreeable, we normally go hiking or kayaking on a weekend day.0 -
You ultimately have to find balance. Fitness is important...so is spending time with your family. Also note that your weight loss is going to be more attributable to your diet that working out incessantly.
I'm pretty much a fitness buff, but I did have to find some balance. I spent a long time working out as if I were training for an event when I wasn't...this required a lot of time...a lot of time that could have otherwise been spent with my boys and my wife...a lot of time that could have otherwise been spent getting much needed things done around the house. This did ultimately start to cause issues not only with my own health (recovery issues), but family issues as well.
I am no longer training like this...I have plenty of fitness base built up to be able to go out and pick up my training if I want to participate in an event or something, I realize that I don't need to train this way year around. I've been playing with things for about a month and I couldn't be happier and I'm feeling really good and some chronic recovery issues I was having have dissipated. Basically, things look like this now.
Monday: Jog at lunch break; PM dog walk with my boys...good quality time
Tuesday: AM walk the dog; PM gym (60 minutes) weight training
Wednesday: 15-20 mile ride at lunch; PM dog walk with my boys...good quality time
Thursday: AM walk the dog; PM gym (60 minutes) weight training
Friday: 15-20 mile ride at lunch; PM dog walk with my boys...good quality time
Saturday: AM weight training (60 minutes)...rest of day dedicated to family and/or household chores
Sunday: Open. This is my rest day so I don't do anything particularly grueling...but we like to go do recreational stuff as a family...so an easy hike may be in order...or a family bike ride...etc, etc, etc. By and large this is family time. I like being active because I think it's a good influence on my kiddos...but being active as a family is more important in that RE than me just slipping out for a 4 hour ride by myself.
Prior to this, I was riding almost everyday at lunch and hitting the weight room 3-4 nights per week and spending a good 2-4 hours on the bike along on Saturday and Sunday...my current regimen is much more balanced and involves a lot more family time.0 -
We both pick the kids up after school, and then I head to the gym. He do sent mind staying with the kids for a little while. I just feel guilty sometime.marissafit06 wrote: »If your husband doesn't mind watching the kids, why is it a problem?
It;s not all Cooking & Cleaning, I'm just giving an example of what I could be doing.0 -
The best way to properly care for your family is to take good care of yourself. That way you can give them the best of you.0
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It's such a tough thing to balance isn't it? It's interesting that I saw this post because last night I was feeling guilty, so I decided to get up today at 5 to workout so that I could spend the evening with my family. It was so hard because I am NOT a morning person at all. And I'm still trying to evaluate whether my workouts are more effective in the AM or the PM. I'm going to take it one day at a time and see if I can maintain this. But I can say that it feels really good to get my workout done and have tonight free! 0
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I think all mom's feel guilty some times. I only get about 3 hours a day with my kids since I work 8 -5pm and they are in bed at 8pm. I go to the gym around 8:30pm when they go to bed or work out on my lunch since I'm lucky enough to have a gym at work. I don't feel guilty on those couple days a week when I go to the pool from 7-8pm. My kids need quality time with daddy too. He and I both have days where we just need an hour or two of "me" time. He goes to baseball games, I go to the gym.
Let's face it. Life is overwhelming. My house could always be cleaner, but I think its more important for me to feel good than my house to look good. Once you clean up or cook something someone will come behind you and mess it up or eat it. If you feel bad about not cooking dinner, make some casseroles on Sunday or cook something in the crockpot that morning so they can help themselves.0 -
Does your husband complain or give you any reason to feel guilty? If not then go on ahead. There's nothing wrong with putting yourself first for that hour and a half. I bet it puts you in a better mood which makes you more fun to be around. As for the weekend maybe skip the gym and do some sort of activity the kids will enjoy and it will teach them a healthier lifestyle. You're also setting a great example for your kids about living healthy.0
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Hubby gave me a little attitude yesterday about my work out. I normally do all my working out at home. And, he is usually working a part-time business after his regular job, and often doesn't get home until 7:30 or later. I do my stuff at home because we have 4 kids and I prefer no monthly fees. Some of the kids even do the cardio (fast walking with intermittent jogging) with me.
Well, hubs came home earlier than usual plus I worked later than usual. He didn't complain directly, but he definitely displayed a little attitude that implied I should be cooking dinner as he was starving and couldn't wait to eat. I reminded him that his arms weren't broken, and he does know how to cook.
My point is, you do need to make your own health a priority. And, if you ALWAYS let others' needs outweigh your own, you will never have time for yourself. However you choose to do that is your business, and I don't think anyone should judge you for that. But, if YOU are feeling guilty, maybe look at your routines and see what you can change or do at home while involving your kids.
Free weights are fairly inexpensive, especially when picked up at 2nd hand stores and auctions. Walking/jogging is free.0 -
If you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to care for anyone else.
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I think getting up early is the best thing. I get up at 4:30 in the morning, prepare lunches, have some coffee and half a banana and work out for an hour, then get ready, get them ready and go to work. I do all my meal prep on the weekends.
I know that we all have to take care of ourselves, but I also have to take care of my children. By getting all my exercise out of the way early, I can take care of them in the evening and maintain their routine. It is difficult, but it is worth it.0 -
For perspective, I have 4 kids (18, 16, 8, and 5) and a wife.
I'm fully in agreement with the gym/working out being addicting. Shortly after I finish one workout, I can't wait until the next. I actually force myself to take a day off to let my body recuperate (not that I think I need it, but since I know it does). Best drug out there.
With regards to feeling guilty - During the week, I usually workout (sometime) during the work day since my job (work from home) allows me the flexibility to move my "lunch" around, I can finish my workout in 60-75 minutes, and the gym is 5 minutes away. But on days where I know I won't be able to squeeze it in during the day, I'll go in early morning (5-5:30 am) so I get back before the younger kids wake up to get ready for school and older kids catch the bus. On the weekends, I normally wake up and hang out with wife and kids and have breakfast and coffee, then run to the gym when there's nothing going on (sports games, etc). If I have to go out later in the day, I will. I don't really feel guilty because I know it's something I have to do to stay healthy and active. I want to be around when my 5 year old daughter has grown up and has a family of her own. That's not selfish in my book.
Just last night I was outside with my younger kids, and our 4 month old lab, and all 3 of us were chasing him around the front yard trying to get a tennis ball back. The puppy loved it, the kids were laughing their heads off, and I was thinking (while sprinting after the dog) that a few years ago I would never have had the energy to do this. It doesn't get better than that, and provided nice incentive today at the gym while busting my butt with HIIT jump rope intervals.
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For perspective, I have 4 kids (18, 16, 8, and 5) and a wife.
I'm fully in agreement with the gym/working out being addicting. Shortly after I finish one workout, I can't wait until the next. I actually force myself to take a day off to let my body recuperate (not that I think I need it, but since I know it does). Best drug out there.
With regards to feeling guilty - During the week, I usually workout (sometime) during the work day since my job (work from home) allows me the flexibility to move my "lunch" around, I can finish my workout in 60-75 minutes, and the gym is 5 minutes away. But on days where I know I won't be able to squeeze it in during the day, I'll go in early morning (5-5:30 am) so I get back before the younger kids wake up to get ready for school and older kids catch the bus. On the weekends, I normally wake up and hang out with wife and kids and have breakfast and coffee, then run to the gym when there's nothing going on (sports games, etc). If I have to go out later in the day, I will. I don't really feel guilty because I know it's something I have to do to stay healthy and active. I want to be around when my 5 year old daughter has grown up and has a family of her own. That's not selfish in my book.
Just last night I was outside with my younger kids, and our 4 month old lab, and all 3 of us were chasing him around the front yard trying to get a tennis ball back. The puppy loved it, the kids were laughing their heads off, and I was thinking (while sprinting after the dog) that a few years ago I would never have had the energy to do this. It doesn't get better than that, and provided nice incentive today at the gym while busting my butt with HIIT jump rope intervals.
The last paragraph is NICE.... and eeeeww to the jump rope intervals (it sounds like pain)...0
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