Help me!!!!!!

Over the past 4 months I have tried and failed to lose weight. I have done it before which makes it even more hard because I know what expect. Before I was 218lbs then got to 160lbs, that was the first time I lost weight.... And now it has been super hard, Mostly because of the bad habits I have start (eating at fast food places 3x a week even getting the large size) so now my body is use to eating this way.... I tend to over eat a lot now which is I rocketed up to 214lbs almost to my first set begin weight. I don't know where to start anymore I feel so stressed out and I do not love myself like I used to. Getting up in the morning sucks because I cant find anything great to wear that will fit me :'(:'( . My jeans won't wont even get close to closing. I feel like crying every morning, Which makes me turn to food and over eating. I wish I still had the will power to do this. I don't know what I need support? More motivation?. I just really don't even know where to start I really want to lose at least 20lbs before my birthday in September. Can someone help me? Give me some advice on how to start again something that will give me results......feel free to add me :( ...
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Replies

  • mamabear1114
    mamabear1114 Posts: 140 Member
    Baby steps! Weight loss can be so overwhelming if you think about it, in it's entirety. The first thing I did was cut soda. That was a *kitten* because I was literally addicted to the crap, but I went through my withdrawals and lost 5 pounds immediatly. That five pounds spurred me on to keep going! Then I quit the fast food (so hard because I love me a good cheeseburger) but I would keep a tally on my fridge of how many days I had gone without it! Then I started slowly swopping foods (white potatoes for sweet potatoes, Lay's Chips for pretzels, hamburger meat for chicken), and I let myself slowly transition! Rome was not built in a day, and neither is your body! Just take a deep breath, and set small goals. :)
  • kikichewie
    kikichewie Posts: 276 Member
    You know what will get you results. The problem is, once you experienced quitting after all that hard work, it's like you decided you liked that relief of quitting and overeating more than you liked the new you. You have to accept that now, accept that this time it WILL be harder, and just decide to do it.

    I just say this because I worked really hard to lose weight once, regained it back and then some, and ever since then it's been so much harder to get back on the program (just CICO) and stick with it. I don't know why it was easier the first time, but it was...... Then finally I got fed up, joined a good gym and started MFP two months ago. I've had a few hiccups but never given up since then. I think I finally accepted its just going to take more willpower not to quit. And I try to avoid situations that I know will tempt me to quit. Temptation to have a drink or dessert is fine, but temptation to quit is not.....
  • low_carb_debbie
    low_carb_debbie Posts: 14 Member
    Totally understand you. For me the key to my weight loss to date has been getting sugar cravings under control. Eating clean and planning ahead where possible. I'm following low carb eating and have sustained it for a few months now. Hunger is under control and have loads of energy. Happy to send you info in you want to message me/add me. You've made a great step by joining up here!! Lots of supportive people.
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
    How did you lose weight before? Were you using MFP and eating at a sensible calorific deficit? I think you need to take a breath, pause and then carefully onsider what you wnat to do and how you want to achieve it. I would also have in the back of my mind a further plan for maintenance, so you dont have to be in this position again. 20lbs is doable, but you will need to get started soon.

    You will get results as long as you are at a consistent calorific deficit over time. There are many ways to do this but it normally involves eating less and moving more. I can empathise that it must be disappointing to have lost the weight before, vut if you wnat to make progress, then you need to let go of the past and just start fresh. Wahts done is done and you should be focusing on what to do in your future. No idea how you did it last time, but if you dont want to do it the same, then try something different, different ways to burn calories, different foods etc.
  • kclay1021
    kclay1021 Posts: 56 Member
    I completely understand this feeling too it can be COMPLETELY overwhelming to get back on track and stay on track. Some people preach baby steps so that you can have SMALL goals (stop drinking soda OR drink more water etc) that are easier to attain but I've always been the ALL or NOTHING type. Up to you, see what works for you.
  • BWBTrish
    BWBTrish Posts: 2,817 Member
    edited April 2015
    Its all about willpower

    Do you want to stay this way?
    The older you get the more you regret it that you didn't do anything about it, the more health issues can show up, it also get a bit harder when you get older ( think of being out of shape longer and longer, the harder is it to come back).

    YOU have to want it badly enough to say to yourself i am totally going to do this.
    And you are not addicted to crap/bad/junk foods, you can say no to it.

    And there are not really "bad" foods. You can at it all, only moderation portion control and fitting it in your calorie allowance is the trick.

    I almost lost 90 pounds now.
    I created a calorie deficit, started walking after some time. And now i am even do some jogging, swimming and light lifting
    Every Day!!!

    So come on, show some back bone :) You are young enjoy life and get healthier and fitter!
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,626 Member
    Its all about willpower

    Do you want to stay this way?
    Te older you get the more you regret it that you didnt do anything about it, the more health issue can show up, it also get a bit harder when you get older ( think of being out of shape longer and longer, the harder is it to come back).

    YOU have to want it badly enough to say to yourself i am totally going to do this.
    And you are not addicted to crap/bad/junk foods, you can say no to it.

    And there are not really "bad" foods. You can at it all, only moderation portion control and fitting it in your calorie allowance is the trick.

    I almost lost 90 pounds now.
    I created a calorie deficit, started walking after some time. And now i am even do some jogging, swimming and light lifting
    Every Day!!!

    So come on, show some back bone :) You are young enjoy life and get healthier and fitter!

    + 1 million
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    When you have your mind right ((and the old is put behind you) start the planning and goal setting.

    Use the MFP tool. Put 100% effort, dedication and commitment to this and ITS FREE.

    You have to be your own motivator.. it is hard and TAKE IT SLOOOOOWWWW.

    1) Get a food scale, weigh and log everything.

    2) Do cardio if you want, and if you do, only eat back around 40 to 50% of your calories.

    3) Lift weights if you can

    4) Cheat meals over maintenance sabotages all your efforts.

    5) If a cheat meal happens LOG IT.

    6) You can lose weight eating the same things you do... IT IS SMALLER PORTIONS and MODERATION.
    Best to choose foods to help you stay under your calories without feeling hungry.

    Find these stickies in the forms:

    Searh for Calorie Counting 101 (if you are new to counting calories here on MFP)

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1

    • and

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1234699-logging-accurately-step-by-step-guide


    Set small goals instead a huge goals that may discourage you or prevent you from progressing.

    And hang around people that support your goals, keep you uplifted or have similar goals.. Stay away from the folks that are or can be negative..

  • TimothyFish
    TimothyFish Posts: 4,925 Member
    Stop crying about it, track your calories and eat at a deficit.
  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
    Stop crying about it, track your calories and eat at a deficit.

    Yeah, this.
  • sandryc79
    sandryc79 Posts: 250 Member
    The compassion and supportive nature on these forums never fails to surprise me.
  • bubaluboo
    bubaluboo Posts: 2,098 Member
    gia07 wrote: »
    When you have your mind right ((and the old is put behind you) start the planning and goal setting.

    Use the MFP tool. Put 100% effort, dedication and commitment to this and ITS FREE.

    You have to be your own motivator.. it is hard and TAKE IT SLOOOOOWWWW.

    1) Get a food scale, weigh and log everything.

    2) Do cardio if you want, and if you do, only eat back around 40 to 50% of your calories.

    3) Lift weights if you can

    4) Cheat meals over maintenance sabotages all your efforts.

    5) If a cheat meal happens LOG IT.

    6) You can lose weight eating the same things you do... IT IS SMALLER PORTIONS and MODERATION.
    Best to choose foods to help you stay under your calories without feeling hungry.

    Find these stickies in the forms:

    Searh for Calorie Counting 101 (if you are new to counting calories here on MFP)

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1

    • and

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1234699-logging-accurately-step-by-step-guide


    Set small goals instead a huge goals that may discourage you or prevent you from progressing.

    And hang around people that support your goals, keep you uplifted or have similar goals.. Stay away from the folks that are or can be negative..

    Couldn't put it better. I lost 40lb and gained half of it back slowly over a year. I tried for 3 months half heartedly to get back to calorie counting but kept making excuses...stressful job, seasonal bugs, busy life. It was only when I got my head in the right place and instead of feeling annoyed with myself/fat/ugly I decided to feel strong, capable and in control of my eating that I managed to get my eating back on track and the lb are coming back off again. The first day, I just logged and didn't try to achieve any goal. It may be worth doing this for a few days so you get into the logging habit (and also realise where your calories are going) and then set a realistic goal and stick to it from day one. You'll start to feel better in no time...not just because you'll be losing weight but you'll also feel in control of your life.
  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
    sandryc79 wrote: »
    The compassion and supportive nature on these forums never fails to surprise me.

    Look, we're all adults. (At least we're supposed to be.) Compassion doesn't get the pounds off. Being disciplined and taking accountability for yourself does. Motivation and support doesn't get you off the couch. Sorry, but it doesn't. Accepting the fact that yeah, I'm tired and just want to pig out, but that's not going to get me to my goal, does.

    Straight-talk doesn't work for everybody. I get that. But for some people, patronizing just isn't going to cut it.
  • sandryc79
    sandryc79 Posts: 250 Member
    edited April 2015
    sandryc79 wrote: »
    The compassion and supportive nature on these forums never fails to surprise me.

    Look, we're all adults. (At least we're supposed to be.) Compassion doesn't get the pounds off. Being disciplined and taking accountability for yourself does. Motivation and support doesn't get you off the couch. Sorry, but it doesn't. Accepting the fact that yeah, I'm tired and just want to pig out, but that's not going to get me to my goal, does.

    Straight-talk doesn't work for everybody. I get that. But for some people, patronizing just isn't going to cut it.

    If you genuinely believe your comment will result in helping the OP gain the tools she needs to become more disciplined and accountable I have no criticism toward you.
  • Annie_01
    Annie_01 Posts: 3,096 Member
    Best advice that I can give OP is...Put one foot in front of the other...day after day.

    If you mess up one day...start again tomorrow.

    Last year I lost 80+lbs...this year I gained 40lbs back. I am back to putting one foot in front of the other...again.

    Decide what you want for yourself...go after it.
  • mbcieslak87
    mbcieslak87 Posts: 206 Member
    It's definitely hard to get your head back in the game, but only you can truly want it for yourself!

    Every time you want to eat that fast food think of how you're going to feel the next morning when those jeans don't fit. Do whatever it takes to motivate yourself - put pictures up around your house of you at a healthy place, throw away all your junk food, pre-make meals so the convenience of stopping at fast-food isn't so tempting...whatever it takes! You can do it, but we can't motivate you any more than telling you this.

    AND remember, making good choices does get easier... eventually you end up skipping those tempting aisles in the grocery store without thinking about it and treats become exactly that...treats...not every day occurrences.
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
    bobovaldez14, it's all about deciding what you truly want. Do you want to get back down to a healthy weight or do you want to continue with what you call your "bad habits"? You can't have it both ways. That's reality, plain and true. So, you can continue to want one thing while acting in a way that doesn't support your desire or you can get committed to making the changes you know are necessary to reach your goal.

    If you decide to keep things as they are now, then do so without guilt. Accept that you'll need to go clothes shopping to buy bigger clothes and move on without guilt. We are each allowed to live our lives as we choose. We shouldn't feel guilty because of the choices we make which affect only us.

    If, however, you decide you really do want to make the commitment to lose weight then do it wholeheartedly. You've already outlined the reasons you want to do it you just need to make the plan. I suggest doing it in small steps. Probably the reason you're having such a hard time with it is that you already know what's involved. Rather than overwhelm yourself with trying to jump back into everything at once start slowly, as you probably did the first time around.

    Start slow. Make little changes and keep doing those things until they become habit then add another change. Right now, that change should be getting into the habit of weighing and measuring your food and logging every single thing you eat and drink; everything down to chewing gum and vitamins. You don't even need to try to stay within the calorie goal MFP sets for you, just get back into the habit of logging. After a little while try to stay within your calorie goal every day. Figure out where you can make some substitutions that will have big impact. There's nothing that says you can't eat fast food (I do a couple of times each week), you just need to fit it into your calorie goal. Instead of the Big Mac and large fries get a smaller burger and a side salad. Or a grilled chicken wrap. Or a salad.

    The point is, do what makes you happy but you need to get past the point where you are feeling guilty but not doing anything about it. Either make the changes or move past the guilt.
  • bobovaldez14
    bobovaldez14 Posts: 16 Member
    thank you all for the great comments I have been doing great for a week now. I am still working on my workouts I am still trying to walk. Yeah its been hard but I really do want this. I have used Myfitnesspal with my first weight loss journey and it was great and really helped. I am going to be very dedicated this 2nd time around especially maintain my weight when I get to my goal. THANK YOU all for the great advice I know I need to kick my rear into gear!! I understand I only have one body and need to keep it in great health!!!
    -Key
  • awnurmarc
    awnurmarc Posts: 125 Member
    One more suggestion. Go to a thrift store (or new, if you can afford it) and buy clothes that fit. Box up the ones that are depressing you for later. Keep that box somewhere where you can see it and be reminded of what you are aiming for.

    There is no point in feeling bad about yourself every morning. It doesn't motivate you. It sucks the life out of you. If you feel better it will be easier to eat better.

    Then you can look forward to wearing clothes in the box as the new (to you) clothes get looser.

    PS: I applaud your cheerful, no-nonsense, mature response to the straight talk you got. I hope I can be that wise about advice.
  • Ocrgrrrl
    Ocrgrrrl Posts: 189 Member
    awnurmarc wrote: »
    One more suggestion. Go to a thrift store (or new, if you can afford it) and buy clothes that fit. Box up the ones that are depressing you for later. Keep that box somewhere where you can see it and be reminded of what you are aiming for.

    There is no point in feeling bad about yourself every morning. It doesn't motivate you. It sucks the life out of you. If you feel better it will be easier to eat better.

    Then you can look forward to wearing clothes in the box as the new (to you) clothes get looser.

    PS: I applaud your cheerful, no-nonsense, mature response to the straight talk you got. I hope I can be that wise about advice.

    Wow, I really love this advice! I mean, think about it, you are starting each day off thinking you are a failure. You are playing a part in this story that you have created in your mind that you can't lose the weight again...that you've gained the weight back.

    I think wearing new clothes that you fit in will help break that cycle...take you out of the mindset of that tape playing in your head that today will be the same as yesterday and the day before that.

    Time to write a new story! I am actually excited for the new life that will unfold for you. You can do this! :)