Just need a vent.

cassandralepandaa

Pew.
I generally try not to do this. Feel bad about what I eat, that is. I'm still recovering I guess from an eating disorder, but. Eh.

Everyone has their own trigger foods, yes? Well, mine's peanut butter. On my best days, I can down a whole jar in a sitting. :P

But, I try not too. I lead a healthy lifestyle. We don't have anything with sugar in our house, salt is very minimal. I don't drink. I go to the gym almost daily. I eat very healthy.

But today a friend took me out, and he spoiled me. And we ate sooooo much San Churros. Naturally, I ordered the Peanut Butter Shake (Orgasmic!), two peanut butter truffle bars...aaaaaand after, some peanut butter ice-cream with...melted peanut butter on top. >.<

I know I shouldn't be hard on myself. But, I feel like *kitten*. I'm trying to think, "It's okay to have a splurge every once in a while." But tonight...Nup. I can't help but think, "Oh, I can feel my arms flabby again. I have a food baby. Pimples! Weight gain! Oh Caddie, please, purge it all up!"

I haven't purged. I don't want to be that girl again.
But I still feel like *kitten*.

I don't care for comments by the way. I just wanted to vent.

Better luck tomorrow!

LiveOnceBeHappy

Here's a hug.

thatsillyshana23

These thoughts will pass! Try distracting yourself next time. Like making something artistic. I find that painting distracts me from feeling guilty about what I eat. I have a blank notebook and every time I feel bad I paint a few pages and look for some quotes to put on them when the paint dries. feel better!

gemmabuss

Don't feel guilty! I'm in recovery as well and feel guilty as anything after eating almost a whole pint of B&J's this evening; but I look back on it now and I'm like 'but it tasted amazing so who cares!?' Keep positive and just think tomorrow's another day, another start! It's easy to go back to old habits, but found during recovery I'm hungry all the time so it's hard going back to my restrictive ed. And also, people have blowouts all the time and it's completely normal... If we diet all the time it just takes us back to square one again! It's not worth it, so have a blow out and enjoy it!

zoeysasha37

Everyone is entitled to have a splurge , so be okay with it and try to focus on something else today.

zoeysasha37

Everyone is entitled to have a splurge , so be okay with it and try to focus on something else today.

cassandralepandaa

Hey everyone!

Thanks for your warm and kind words. They actually made me feel a bit better today. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one, you know? And I like the idea of getting creative, as a distraction! Just tonight I started drawing again.

Thanks again guys! Keep going. Xx