screw trying to have a happy period!
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My hubby just found this post, and I had to share here since TOM is a popular subject. Thought you all would enjoy a period post that made you laugh instead of facepalm!
This is an "actual letter" from an Austin, Texas woman sent to Proctor and Gamble regarding one of their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. This was PC Magazine's 2009 Editors' Choice award-winner for the best letter sent via e-mail.
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts.
But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.'
Isn't the human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women.
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'
Are you f
kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong'.
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullsh!t. And that's a promise I will keep.
Always.....
Wxxx Axxxx
Austin , TX
This is an "actual letter" from an Austin, Texas woman sent to Proctor and Gamble regarding one of their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. This was PC Magazine's 2009 Editors' Choice award-winner for the best letter sent via e-mail.
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts.
But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.'
Isn't the human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women.
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'
Are you f
kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong'.
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullsh!t. And that's a promise I will keep.
Always.....
Wxxx Axxxx
Austin , TX
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Replies
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lol just started mine today and that is so true but funny.0
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WOW clicked on the wrong thread, errr0
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Even when I had periods I wasn't that crazy. I think continually blowing it out of proportion does not help females in general.0
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I found this funny but I'm not sure I appreciate the stereotyping- PMS used to be in the DSM pretty much because of the reinforcement of this "women are crazy on their periods" stereotype. Yeah, I can admit I'm *****y on my period, but no where near homicidal. Also I read a study in undergrad about how PMS symptoms actually change across different cultures- this insinuates that some of the PMS symptoms are a social construction. Sorry to be a buzz kill just wanted to weigh in! lol0
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Having PCOS I welcomed them especially when they occurred on time because it meant I was hormonally normal, but I guess that was a stupid saying.0
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And so illustrates the real reason why men have garages....0
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Please try to refrain from being disgusting and continuing to bring this topic up.0
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This one always makes me laugh0
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WOW clicked on the wrong thread, errr
Awkward.
She makes a good point, though.0 -
This one always makes me laugh and I LOVE how some women say these feelings NEVER happen to them. Yeah, right and I'm a flying pig.....
not me it actually is a relief to me because usually before I'm very depressed and hormonal. the cramps yes are painful but i welcome it as it means my body is balanced and it's a natural cleansing0 -
Crazy ladies, giving non-crazy ladies a bad name since the dawn of time.
If you, as an adult, can't keep a handle on your emotions you need more than a flexi-wing.0 -
lol that is a super funny letter... i'm glad my wife is actually pretty chill during that time maybe like 1% of the time :P lol0
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Is it really that hard to keep your emotions under control?0
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hahahahaha.....i thought it was funny0
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Haha. I have to have this pop up on my news feed so... bump!
Very cute. Whether true or not.0 -
Amusing although maybe a little on the scary side if this is indeed a real letter....... :laugh:0
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WOW clicked on the wrong thread, errr
^^^ This is funny. Posted by Iron Addict, a man. LOLLLLL0 -
No periods make a happy period! :drinker:0
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I think everyone that's getting all antsy needs a sense of humor. Stat.
I lol'd.
Though each time I get a period, I have a sigh of relief. 'Cuz lack of a baby = awesome times indeed.
I can't get a pic link to insert, but for your viewing pleasure:
http://strawberry-pie.net/yamac/?p=2620
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