Unwanted attention

24

Replies

  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,993 Member
    Just fart while he's behind you. He'll leave you alone after that.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • Sweet_Pandora
    Sweet_Pandora Posts: 459 Member
    Have you tried telling him that he is distracting you from your workouts and you are on a time schedule?

    I agree with what has been said, be honest, you are paying to go and workout.

    Karen
  • JuliaLee67
    JuliaLee67 Posts: 149

    You are making something out of nothing. There are creepo guys out there, deal with it, like every other women does. You said he's friendly, how do you know he doesn't say the same thing to other women?

    I will really really love to hear these things he says that are crossing the line...

    Looks like we've found OP's gym manager. :huh:
  • QueenE_
    QueenE_ Posts: 522 Member
    The mens comments on here are making me lol..
    Just be honest and tell him you aren't there to socialize.

    This is what I would do.
  • QueenE_
    QueenE_ Posts: 522 Member

    You are making something out of nothing. There are creepo guys out there, deal with it, like every other women does. You said he's friendly, how do you know he doesn't say the same thing to other women?

    I will really really love to hear these things he says that are crossing the line...

    Looks like we've found OP's gym manager. :huh:

    That's what I was thinking. :laugh:
  • belgerian
    belgerian Posts: 1,059 Member
    IF being direct does not work nor does anything else you should consider filing a sexual harassment suit becouse more than likely you are not the first one nor will you be the last. At the very least it will get some attention lawyers are reall good at that.
  • nope31
    nope31 Posts: 174
    Thanks for the replies :)
    I have tried the headphone thing but he just stands there grinning at me until I take them out.
    I would love to say 'back off' but I don't want to be rude. I think I'm too nice for my own good, but obviously I need to do something as I don't want this to keep happening.
    Will keep trying to ignore him and if the comments do get worse then I will talk to his manager.
    I am back at the gym tomorrow so wish me luck....

    What do you mean "you don't want to be rude?" R u kidding me?
    If someone is invading your personal space and you are uncomfortable, its your human right to say something.
    Stop walking on eggshells and dancing around ppl.
    Your not gonna get anywhere in life "being the polite" one trust me.
    There will be others, they see a weakness in you and they feed on it.
    Grow a pair or stop complaining.
  • NirvaniTeasley
    NirvaniTeasley Posts: 138 Member
    I have been a member of my gym for quite a long time and a few months ago the gym manager started to say hi to me and talk to me about exercise and fitness etc... but over the last few weeks he has started to ask more personal questions and has started to drop in inappropriate comments which is now making me feel uncomfortable. I try to avoid him but as soon as he sees me come into the gym he makes a bee line for me! He stands behind the equipment I am working on, staring at me and its starting to annoy me now.
    I used to love going to the gym but now I dread it because of him. I feel my only option is to find another gym or try to ignore him and hope he gets bored?
    Part of me thinks maybe I am making something out of nothing, because he is a really friendly guy but I think some of his comments are crossing the line.
    Has anyone else been in a similar situation?

    You are making something out of nothing. There are creepo guys out there, deal with it, like every other women does. You said he's friendly, how do you know he doesn't say the same thing to other women?

    I will really really love to hear these things he says that are crossing the line...

    Hon, your comment just made her point very valid.
  • JeffseekingV
    JeffseekingV Posts: 3,165 Member
    Say "HI!" Give him a high five and then say "gotta work out now!" and just walk away.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Just be honest and tell him you aren't there to socialize.

    This.
  • tehboxingkitteh
    tehboxingkitteh Posts: 1,574 Member
    I agree with previous posters on wearing earbuds and just tell him you're not there to socialize.
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
    Headphones in. Wave hello if he makes eye contact and clearly wants to talk. Keep walking.

    Depending on how inappropriate the comments are, I might consider talking to an owner, district manager...whoever is in charge of this fella.

    I don't think you're being ridiculous. A lot of people find themselves on the receiving end of unwanted attention after establishing a harmless, friendly rapport with someone. It can get uncomfortable.

    When you wave hold something in your hand so that you can only use one finger....
  • The_Enginerd
    The_Enginerd Posts: 3,982 Member
    Have you tried farting when he is standing behind the equipment you are using?

    Yeah, tell him directly, firmly, but politely, that you are there to work out and it is not appreciated. If that doesn't work, a loud call out that draws everyone's attention will..
  • maarbo
    maarbo Posts: 22
    You are NOT making something out of nothing. Tell him that you'll report him to the management if he doesn't leave you alone. DO NOT tell him he makes you nervous!!! If he doesn't stop, report him. If he's the management, drop your membership, start going to another gym, and report it to the owners and/or the local police.

    Good Luck. :smile:
  • bergpa
    bergpa Posts: 148 Member
    If subtle hints and suggestions were going to work, he would have already figured out that you're not interested. Skip the headphone, disappearing and bring-another-guy games and just tell him directly that you are not interested.
  • PoopieMonster
    PoopieMonster Posts: 295 Member
    How has he "crossed the line"?
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    Manager talking to you in the gym? I think we can all agree there's only one way to handle this.



















    U1AcZTe.jpg
  • zenchild
    zenchild Posts: 680 Member
    Thanks for the replies :)
    I have tried the headphone thing but he just stands there grinning at me until I take them out.
    I would love to say 'back off' but I don't want to be rude. I think I'm too nice for my own good, but obviously I need to do something as I don't want this to keep happening.
    Will keep trying to ignore him and if the comments do get worse then I will talk to his manager.
    I am back at the gym tomorrow so wish me luck....
    If he's just standing there till you take the headphones off, just take one out, say "what" in the most flat, annoyed tone you can manage. If he's not a complete moron, he'll stammer something and walk away. If he is a complete moron, he'll start talking. If he does that, your response is "is there something you actually needed? I'm working out." And go to his boss.
  • IronFiend
    IronFiend Posts: 44 Member
    You can't just say "get lost"?!
  • bricktowngal
    bricktowngal Posts: 206
    Tell him straight out that you're there to workout and not socialize with him. If he doesn't get that, just tell him get lost!
  • bricktowngal
    bricktowngal Posts: 206
    Manager talking to you in the gym? I think we can all agree there's only one way to handle this.




    hahaha, love it!














    U1AcZTe.jpg
  • PoopieMonster
    PoopieMonster Posts: 295 Member
    You are NOT making something out of nothing. Tell him that you'll report him to the management if he doesn't leave you alone. DO NOT tell him he makes you nervous!!! If he doesn't stop, report him. If he's the management, drop your membership, start going to another gym, and report it to the owners and/or the local police.

    Good Luck. :smile:


    Before threatening to report him or calling the police (lols) can I suggest maybe asking him to give you some space?
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    OP with stunted social skills vs. gym manager with potentially awkward social skills = lolz
  • Isakizza
    Isakizza Posts: 754 Member
    Thanks for the replies :)
    I have tried the headphone thing but he just stands there grinning at me until I take them out.
    I would love to say 'back off' but I don't want to be rude. I think I'm too nice for my own good, but obviously I need to do something as I don't want this to keep happening.
    Will keep trying to ignore him and if the comments do get worse then I will talk to his manager.
    I am back at the gym tomorrow so wish me luck....

    If headphones didn't do the trick, then be direct. I tend to be "too nice" a lot as well, but enough is enough.

    You are there to workout. If he again waits for you to take out your earbuds, tell him you don't like being interrupted in the middle of your workout. You gotta focus. It's best to be direct, only go to the manager if he continues after you directly told him to stop.

    You can do it, good luck!
  • CupcakesAndRazorblades
    CupcakesAndRazorblades Posts: 227 Member
    "Hey, you're really nice and all but I think you have the wrong idea. I'm gay. My girlfriend is the jealous type and she's on leave from the marine corp and I wouldn't want her to get the wrong idea."
  • Ophidion
    Ophidion Posts: 2,065 Member
    He is either oblivious to his effect on you and needs to be educated for his sake as well as yours and if he is not oblivious then he is relying on you to be timid and taking advantage of your politeness and needs to once again educated be it through strong words if this has no effect then reported...basically whatever is necessary as its not only an issue of being uncomfortable at the gym but also an issue of your personal space.

    Do try to communicate first most guys will back off if they know they are not wanted.

    Be strong and imagine an MFP army backing you up!!
  • Ed98043
    Ed98043 Posts: 1,333 Member
    It's not fair to him to go straight to his superiors when you haven't even asked him once to stop (what if he got fired? Is that what you want? I guess it would solve your problem but could haunt him for life) . He's probably clueless. Just grow a pair and tell him that it makes you uncomfortable to be watched while you work out, and that you're not there to socialize. Smile while you say it, say "no offense intended, but..." or "It's not you, it's me" if you must, but tell him how you feel. If he continues after that, then go to management.
  • butterflyluv1218
    butterflyluv1218 Posts: 430
    I would just say "Sorry, I'm not trying to be rude but I really need to get this workout done." Then plug my phones in. He should get the hint.
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
    1) ask him out
    2) have a romantic meal
    3) invite him back to your place
    4) wrestle with him under the sheets
    5) when he's tired and recovering his breath, tell him that you're not interested and that he's making you uncomfortable by invading your space at the gym

    or

    1) the next time he invades your space at the gym, tell him politely that you're not interested and that he's making you uncomfortable by invading your space

    it's up to you.
  • MisterDerpington
    MisterDerpington Posts: 604 Member
    It's not fair to him to go straight to his superiors when you haven't even asked him once to stop (what if he got fired? Is that what you want? I guess it would solve your problem but could haunt him for life) .

    People don't think of this. It's crazy because he'd probably be let go for "sexual harassment" too.

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