Sinking ship.

paperraven11

I weighed myself yesterday, 350lbs. I avoid mirrors. My pants are splitting, I feel disgusting, and I want to cry.

And I don't know what to do. I'm always exhausted, I set my alarm early to walk and I can seem to make myself get up. I get home from work and I just want to go to bed.

I eat for *kitten*. Last week, I ate 2 jars of pickles. JARS. I'm craving a million things all the time. I just want to eat and I can't seem to stop myself. I dream about food!

I've been to my doctor but all she could tell me was to get a gym membership. >__<

Sophia905

have you had your Thyroid checked?

paperraven11

I have hypothyroidism, I get checked every 12 months. Numbers are always perfect with Synthroid.

stuart959

I suggest trying to connect with people that live locally for close in support. Also not trying to pry but if some of the eating is to cover up feelings or if you have a known issue, booze or the like a good 12 step group might be a good idea.

galgenstrick

We're going to need more information to help you. How many calories are you eating each day? What foods (besides pickles) are you eating? Are you logging them?

SillyCat1975

It sounds as if you are emotional eating, I do this too. Do you know what is causing you to want to eat? Are you suffering from depression or are you tired and unmotivated? Once you make the decision to get up and take that first walk then you will feel better and hopefully it will get you in a good routine. I know that's how it worked for me, I've recently had to make myself go outside and do it, I had to. I know that in a few months that I will be where I want to be and not where I am at now. Hang in there. If pickles are the worst thing you ate then that's not that bad, be glad it's not tons of chocolate (that was my crutch). Hang in there. Don't give up and don't give in.

jorinya

I used to be on a see-food diet. Anything I see, I eat, be it bread, biscuits, 2nd helping of lunch, dinner, dessert. You get the picture. Sometimes we just graze which is not healthy at all as this can lead to serious weight concerns. Remember, you are beautiful, you are unique, you are worth while, you have the power to achieve anything you want. Have you thought of seeing a different doctor or a dietitian? Maybe a second opinion would help. Good luck finding a solution that is best for you. I seriously think a second opinion would be really helpful.

ninerbuff

If you WON'T get up in the morning, or won't stop eating too much, nothing will change. And if you won't do it, then something inside isn't strong enough to get you to commit to doing it. Till that's solved, you may just keep doing what you're doing regardless of what advice you're getting.
Here's mine: Just start with one thing. After work walk for just 15 minutes a day. That's it. For at least 21 day. Then add on something to that and do it along with the walking for 21 days. Rinse and repeat. After a while you'll have a routine down and consistency with it will make this much more reachable.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

jmerthen82

Get a new Doctor, you pay them to take care of you! The Doctor should have been concerned by your complaints
Do you have high blood pressure?
You may want to look into hormone testing too
Depression can cause those symptoms too.
These are things that can contribute to what your describing
If your job is not active I would start exercise at a slow rate like walking 10 minutes and building up as you can.
Taking vitamin B 12 can help too
A lot of insurance companies offer obesity/weightless counseling
Every journey starts with one step

stutba

Baby steps! Start with small goal. It wont feel so daunting.
- Park further away than normal.
- drink glass of water instead of glass of soda
- walk up steps vs taking elevator
- Plan out what your meals will be. It makes such a huge difference and takes a little bit of time.

Think small, start small... it will escalate and soon you will be motivated to act BIG!
Once you see and feel a small difference in yourself, it should help with motivation.

NotAResolution

stutba wrote: »

Baby steps! Start with small goal. It wont feel so daunting.
- Park further away than normal.
- drink glass of water instead of glass of soda
- walk up steps vs taking elevator
- Plan out what your meals will be. It makes such a huge difference and takes a little bit of time.

Think small, start small... it will escalate and soon you will be motivated to act BIG!
Once you see and feel a small difference in yourself, it should help with motivation.

Park further away is the easiest start. The hardest part of any exercise or race is starting. The first mile in any race is the same length for everyone. It's the roads that get you to the starting line that can take longer. Until you really want this, nothing will work though. That's how it was for me and a lot of other folks on here. one day I decided I'd had enough and started exercising. That was 16 years ago. I may not be slim, or fast, or the strongest anything, but I'll be the first toeing the line.

Capt_Apollo

paperraven11 wrote: »

I've been to my doctor but all she could tell me was to get a gym membership. >__<

well, he's obviously a quack. i'm sure she's just hoarding all the secret magic beans for herself.


okay, sarcasm aside, 99% of people just need to exercise and eat less to lose weight. 350lbs? that sucks. ever read this guys story?? he tipped the scale at 400 lbs, so there is hope for you too.

Camarose79

I think of the exercise like work... As in, you HAVE to go to work 5 days a week for the next 40 years right? So, you HAVE to do some exercise every week. No excuses. Even if you don't want to or don't feel like it, just go. After a few weeks, very slowly, things will change. Keep doing it. Forever. The time will pass anyway. In 3 months, 6 months, a year, you'll look back on the time that passed and there will be a difference.

milkywayward

You sound like you might be depressed if you can't get out of bed in the morning and all you want to do is sleep, especially if you have hypothyroidism. I'd talk to your GP about that and in the meanwhile try to recognise that this is an incremental process; set yourself small goals throughout the day and mentally reward yourself for attaining them.

When I was really depressed a couple of years ago I would give myself a mental "gold star" just for getting out of bed, another for making breakfast, another for leaving the house, another if I went to a lecture instead of just turning around and going home when I got there. These are all such small tasks but they were so, so difficult at the time. I worked on this really gradually and now I'm at the point where I don't have to give myself gold stars for not eating a box of chocolates or for going to the gym, I just do it. But I couldn't "just do it" two years ago, I had to work up to that place, day by day, without getting overwhelmed by the bigger picture.

D_squareG

I think the best thing you could do for yourself is just focus on improving your eating habits first. Set yourself a calorie goal, log every bite you take, weigh and measure your food. Once you start to see your weight come down, and it will if you eat at a deficit, you will be more motivated to add a fitness routine. Calorie restriction is for weight loss. Exercise is for fitness. You don't have to exercise to lose weight (not saying that you shouldn't, just take a step at a time).

the_nerdgasm

This sounds like me a couple months ago. And honestly, there's nothing I can really say to help you out except you need to find the motivation within you. For me, I just sat down and realized how incredibly important my health is, and how my habits are literally killing me. I'm 28 years old. I want to be a quarter of the way through my life, not halfway through it because I'm on the path to die at 50 from a heart attack. I might want to have kids eventually, which I'm not healthy enough to do now. I want to explore other locations, which is hard to do when walking for an hour feels like an impossibility, and fitting in a plane seat is downright uncomfortable. I have no sex drive, and I want to be able to enjoy sex with my boyfriend again.

Think about how much of life you're missing out on because you're unhealthy. That's what I did. It sucks. It really does. It's hard to completely change your life like this. But the only way to start losing weight is good ol' eat less, move more.

If you want some support, feel free to friend me

Mexicanbigfoot

I see a lot of good advice here!

I started at roughly the same weight you are, 350 pounds. I was depressed, eating *kitten* food all the time, wasting my life sitting on the couch watching TV and wishing things were different.

I started by getting help for my depression. After that, other things in my life seemed to become easier for me. I started to walk 10 minutes a day. When I could walk for 10 minutes and not feel too tired, I walked for 15. I started to log my food again. I was over lots of days, but it gave me a good starting point. I learned to plan and prepare my meals the night before for the next day. I logged everything and didn't take any extra snacks to work so I could only eat what I brought. I stated drinking more water. I relied ALOT on my MFP friends. I have only met a handful of them in person, but I knew they were always here for me. They still are.

I lost almost 60 pounds on my own, then I relapsed and stopped logging my food. I stopped working out. I gained back 30 pounds and it was scary for me.

I know that I am the only one that can take care of me. So, 58 days ago, I started again. At square one. I started logging my food. Every single bit. I started walking on the treadmill. At least 20 minutes. About 30 days in, I started to struggle again so I signed up with a personal trainer. I see her 3 times a week for 60 minutes. I knew that I needed something else to hold me accountable. She kicks my butt, and I've lost 10 pounds in 3 weeks.

If you want to add me, I would love to try and support you the best I can. I know you CAN do this!!

the_nerdgasm

Oh, and one thing you could consider (I'm not sure if it's safe with hypothyroidism) is intermittent fasting. I did this because, like you, I was addicted to eating. It wasn't even food, it was the physical act of putting food in my mouth and consuming it. I needed to teach myself how to go for longer periods without food, that it's ok to go a few hours without eating, and I needed to learn what real, physical hunger felt like. So two days a week, I stop eating at nine the night before, and I don't eat my next meal until 1:00 the next day (16 hours fasting, 8 hours of time to consume meals). It's helped me a lot in kind of resyncing my appetite, and it makes it easier for me to tell if I'm actually hungry, or if I just think I am because it's been 45 minutes since I last consumed something and that's just TOO LONG. :P

MaVieEntiere

So much good advice. It sounds to me like you're somebody who's very hard on themselves. I wish I could give you a BIG HUG. Sending lots of love your way and a friend request.

I think that the baby step idea sounds good. And if you fall off the wagon with that one small task, DONT YOU DARE BEAT YOURSELF UP. Just give yourself the gold star the person above was talking about if you can do it. If you can't, think seriously about why, then try again tomorrow!

XOXOX

mwyvr

It all starts with you, you have to want to improve yourself. No one else is going to do it for you[1]. Coming here to vent is a good sign that you really do want change but its up to you to take the next step.

The best advice I've seen here is for you to take a small, measurable, first step.

Do that walk as suggested, 15 minutes a day. If you can't manage 15, start with 10 and keep it up until you can add 5 more. There are all sorts of tricks you can play on yourself to ensure you spend the time at it. For example if you drive, park 5, 7.5, or 10 minutes away from where you live or work to force you to walk back to your car for the next trip. Increase the distance as you improve. Sooner than later you won't have to trick yourself because you'll see and feel real progress and you'll want to do it... more than want, you'll feel like you need to, must do it.

While you take those first steps, log all your food, even the pickles. If you are feeling tempted by something, add it to the log BEFORE you consume it. At some point this will help you say no. Review past days, don't just ignore them , because you can and will learn from your past.

It won't take long to develop a new outlook on your life and future if you just start. Many of us have been there and emerged out the other side and you can do.

[1] You might find a more supportive and compassionate doctor. Your doc won't fix this for you, only you can, but why visit an unhelpful physician?

paperraven11

Hi guys! Thank you sooo much for all the wonderful advice, and thank you to everyone who has reached out to me outside of this thread. I am definitely taking everything said to heart. Upon reflection, i am not putting as much effort into this as I need. Fatigue is a terrible excuse when I'm 34 and making my way to a heart attack or stroke.

I had a bad night last night, a friend was trashing Tess Holiday and fat people broadly, that brought up a ton of memories and feels and I was a self loathing mess. It hurts to know that my body type is seen as a worst case scenario and held up as an example of how not to raise their daughter... While in the same breath saying "oh not you Amy, you're beautiful. I mean other fat people."

I am currently being treated for depression, low dose Celexa, that has helped incredibly since I started it more than two (!) years ago. And it literally just occurred to me that it's been that long. Wondering if I need an adjustment....

I work an 8 to 5 desk job. I'm thinking as the weather turns nice, I should take my breaks outside walking (instead of not at all...) And likewise, I live 3 miles from the office, there's no good reason why I can't eventually walk or bike that.

Thanks again ❤️❤️

leggup

Exercise is great for health but not required for weight loss. If I were in your situation, I would weigh and log exactly what I eat every day for a week. Don't restrict your calories at all, at first. Just try to get a few days of normal eating logged. That can be your baseline. Once you have some data on what you're eating and how much you're eating, you can make changes, like realizing you're eating 3 servings of something and you'd be just as happy if you had eaten 2 servings. Or maybe you'll realize you're only eating 500 calories before dinner and then you're starving/craving all of your food at night. Or maybe you'll realize that you're not getting much protein or fiber or any other number of things.

the_nerdgasm

mwyvr wrote: »

It all starts with you, you have to want to improve yourself. No one else is going to do it for you[1]. Coming here to vent is a good sign that you really do want change but its up to you to take the next step.

The best advice I've seen here is for you to take a small, measurable, first step.

Do that walk as suggested, 15 minutes a day. If you can't manage 15, start with 10 and keep it up until you can add 5 more. There are all sorts of tricks you can play on yourself to ensure you spend the time at it. For example if you drive, park 5, 7.5, or 10 minutes away from where you live or work to force you to walk back to your car for the next trip. Increase the distance as you improve. Sooner than later you won't have to trick yourself because you'll see and feel real progress and you'll want to do it... more than want, you'll feel like you need to, must do it.

While you take those first steps, log all your food, even the pickles. If you are feeling tempted by something, add it to the log BEFORE you consume it. At some point this will help you say no. Review past days, don't just ignore them , because you can and will learn from your past.

It won't take long to develop a new outlook on your life and future if you just start. Many of us have been there and emerged out the other side and you can do.

[1] You might find a more supportive and compassionate doctor. Your doc won't fix this for you, only you can, but why visit an unhelpful physician?

The advice on logging before you eat something is golden. I usually log my meals in, and then if I want something else, I log it and see if it's worth it. Whenever I eat mindlessly and add later, I always regret it and go waaaaaay over my intended intake.

It's so much easier to stay under my calorie goal when I eat thoughtfully.

mistikal13

Log what you eat and try to move as much as possible during the day. Also, get a new doctor! Good luck to you

ffushermama

Your post describes how I feel today, exactly. I am so disappointed in myself. I am overweight, I look horrible, I am exhausted, and I can't stick to any of my weight loss/exercise goals.

You are not alone. I know that this unhappiness I am feeling is my own fault.I want to lose weight but I don't want to give up the delicious cookies, candy, buffalo wings food. I don't want to stop sitting on the couch to go exercise.

But I want to feel good.

I know something has to give, because I want to be happy. And right now, I am not happy with myself. I don't want to be on the verge of tears or stressed out because I have all this weight to lose. So I know I have to just do the exercises and give up the food. I just have too.

Put the pickles down and let's get happy!!

Azexas

paperraven11 wrote: »

I've been to my doctor but all she could tell me was to get a gym membership. >__<

Get a new doctor... totally serious.

Instead of trying to change everything all at once, try making small changes. A lot of small changes add up to a big result. Invest in a food scale and weigh all of your food. Keep hydrated. Prelogging your day's diary may help you avoid extra snacking. Pull out a serving size of pickles and put the jar away.