No support when I could use it. :(
Gen716
Posts: 8 Member
I've been doing this for over a month now, no one around me is supportive. If they aren't making jokes about the changes I'm making, they show no care at all. I have lost nearly 13 pounds by just changing my eating habits. I know it's not a lot but it's an accomplishment and I'm proud of it...until someone asks how much I've lost so far. Then I bow my head in shame and mutter the number.
I have yet to start going to the gym. I've had a membership for over a year, my sister and I use to go together but then she stopped coming with me. I kept going by myself for a bit but then one night while I was using the bikes two guys came over. One went to use the bike next to me and his friend said, "Not those ones, those are the bikes for lazy people", looking at me. I always chose those ones because of having a larger backside it was more comfortable so I could focus on peddling rather than being uncomfortable. It's crazy how such a small remark completely tore down all of my confidence. I tried to go back a few times but my anxiety wouldn't allow me to get out of the car.
It's rather bothersome that being over weight gets me ridiculed but trying to change that also brings judgement not only from strangers but also friends and family. Despite this I keep plugging on with my healthier eating and have decided next week I am going to the gym, I'm not giving myself the option to be scared to. I've decided that my life, happiness, and body image are mine and no one else's. However it would be nice if someone around me supported me even just alittle because I'm not sure if I can keep telling myself to hold my head up high when my confidence is so low.
I have yet to start going to the gym. I've had a membership for over a year, my sister and I use to go together but then she stopped coming with me. I kept going by myself for a bit but then one night while I was using the bikes two guys came over. One went to use the bike next to me and his friend said, "Not those ones, those are the bikes for lazy people", looking at me. I always chose those ones because of having a larger backside it was more comfortable so I could focus on peddling rather than being uncomfortable. It's crazy how such a small remark completely tore down all of my confidence. I tried to go back a few times but my anxiety wouldn't allow me to get out of the car.
It's rather bothersome that being over weight gets me ridiculed but trying to change that also brings judgement not only from strangers but also friends and family. Despite this I keep plugging on with my healthier eating and have decided next week I am going to the gym, I'm not giving myself the option to be scared to. I've decided that my life, happiness, and body image are mine and no one else's. However it would be nice if someone around me supported me even just alittle because I'm not sure if I can keep telling myself to hold my head up high when my confidence is so low.
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Replies
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Keep it up I lost 10 lbs already don't let others matter. What matters is how proud u become of urself0
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When I first started losing, I didn't share any of the pounds lost with anyone. I told them it was my lifestyle change and didn't matter how many pounds. Sounds to me like you need to decide how important these people are you surround yourself with if they ridicule you like that. You need to get over that and hold your head up high. Do it for yourself, no one else.0
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13 pounds is an amazing loss! Don't think it's not! So many people wish they could lose that much! And for those guys that said that remark, to be blunt they are just *kitten* and can go *kitten* themselves. Whenever I'm at the gym I never judge someone no matter what their size is because guess what, they are at the gym! They are putting in effort and trying to be healthier so how could I ever judge someone for that? I think most people think more like me opposed to those *kitten*. I know the majority of people at the gym at my college are actually extremely positive and supportive towards anyone at the gym and the people who judge are just those self absorbed jerks you have to forget about.
Also, there is no "lazy" bike. Use whatever machine is the best for you and will give you the best workout for YOUR body!
You can add me as a friend on here if you would like! I'd definitely be supportive!0 -
13 pounds is an accomplishment and you should be proud of it! Everyone has to start somewhere. Every step you take is one more in the right direction. Don't forget that! Good luck at the gym.
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Keep going! You can't change how the people around you will act but you can change yourself. In the process, you might find yourself with new friends that are supportive!0
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Keep it up... be buds if u want0
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Thanks everyone, I really appreciate it. 0
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13 pounds in a month is huge. Don't quit no matter what. You can do it. It took me about 8 months to lose 60 pounds, but it happened. Exercise plays an important role in getting our metabolism moving. A diabetic nurse practioner that I would see at the VA clinic I went to told me that some studies show that 30 minutes of intense exercise can effect the body's metabolism for up to 48 hours. My wife started MFP in January and has lost over 30 pounds now. She seems to be losing a little slower than I did, but she keeps telling herself that anything less than what she was the last time she weighed is an accomplishment. My son started mid September 2014 and has lost 92 pounds. So, be patient and keep doing what you know is good for you.0
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I'm sorry this is upsetting you so much. Some people truly are jerks, but to be honest, it sounds to me like there's some self-esteem issues in there too. Take care of yourself, you are the only one who can decide you are worth it. In the meantime, don't discuss your weight loss with others (it opens you up to criticism, this is my opinion only), do you what you know is working, keep moving forward, and add some supportive people here. The rest can suck it
ETA: 13 lbs gone is fabulous, don't let anyone take that victory away from you.0 -
nutmegoreo wrote: »I'm sorry this is upsetting you so much. Some people truly are jerks, but to be honest, it sounds to me like there's some self-esteem issues in there too. Take care of yourself, you are the only one who can decide you are worth it. In the meantime, don't discuss your weight loss with others (it opens you up to criticism, this is my opinion only), do you what you know is working, keep moving forward, and add some supportive people here. The rest can suck it
ETA: 13 lbs gone is fabulous, don't let anyone take that victory away from you.
Your words are very much appreciated and your intuition is spot on.
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aliciasilfies wrote: »13 pounds is an accomplishment and you should be proud of it! Everyone has to start somewhere. Every step you take is one more in the right direction. Don't forget that! Good luck at the gym.
Thank you! I'm still nervous but I have a few days to shake that off!
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decotterell wrote: »13 pounds in a month is huge. Don't quit no matter what. You can do it. It took me about 8 months to lose 60 pounds, but it happened. Exercise plays an important role in getting our metabolism moving. A diabetic nurse practioner that I would see at the VA clinic I went to told me that some studies show that 30 minutes of intense exercise can effect the body's metabolism for up to 48 hours. My wife started MFP in January and has lost over 30 pounds now. She seems to be losing a little slower than I did, but she keeps telling herself that anything less than what she was the last time she weighed is an accomplishment. My son started mid September 2014 and has lost 92 pounds. So, be patient and keep doing what you know is good for you.
Wow those are huge accomplishments! Congratulations to you and your family, and thank you for the support.
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Hey girl! 13 pounds in a month! Hello! You're doing great and have every right to be proud!
I am 51 years old and have let comments like the one that colossal a..ho.. made keep me away from the gym and sports for nearly my entire life. I am just starting to realize that I don't care what anyone else thinks. I am going to do what's right for me because it's right for me. You should do what's right for you!
Having said that...for the month of May one of my goals is to go to the gym or take a class (like zumba or aqua-size) at least one time each week but it's the 6th and I haven't been able to find the courage to go.
So...i challenge you to go to the gym at least once between now and Sunday night and I promise to do the same.
And... if any jerks are rude just tell them that your fat will go away but stupid lasts forever!
I dare you. I triple dog dare you!
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13 pounds in a month is great! That's about as much as you CAN lose in a month without doing some damage to yourself. You should be proud of yourself I'm proud of you. You're clearly on the right track. Remember, you are doing this for YOU, not for anyone else.
I wouldn't worry too much about the gym right now. Go there only if you feel like going. Constantly worrying about stuff and feeling guilty about NOT going is going to elevate your stress levels which in turn slows down the weight loss. So try to stay relaxed and positive
They say you get fit at the gym and lose weight in the kitchen. Maybe you could concentrate on eating right at first, and add the gym when you feel better about going there?
I'm two months in my own journey, started from 232lbs and am now down to 210. I'm taking the low carb (keto) route with a few days of exercise per week, mostly walking and horseback riding. I'm doing my best to keep myself motivated, so if you need kind and encouraging words every now and then, feel free to friend me 0 -
You know what? I had a similar experience today at the gym. I was using the rowing machine and working really hard. Two girls came along and looked at me, one said to the other "check the Buddha". I was mortified and so embarrassed, you see I do have a big tummy. They went onto do weights and I did too as is my usual thing. Coincidence meant that I was following one of these girls and I was routinely lifting 10 - 15 kg heavier than her. She was a good 20 years younger than me as well. As a 53 year old female " Buddha" I thought " Yeah see me!!!!
Go to that gym and show those idiots what you can do. 0 -
Don't listen to critics. I won't sugar coat it. If someone you don't know saying something nasty is going to case you to quit. You will quit again and again. That thing you have to get over. It's hard to just decide to stop listening to them I know, and it probably is against your personality type(I'm guessing you are one of those people that has great empathy towards other. So much you probably have more than enough to spare.). Congratulations than because that means your not one of those mean crabby people. Unfortunately it may prone you to be affected by others words. Instead of feeling hurt by them try and channel your empathy super powers and pity those haters. Image their low self worth they must have to put others down. That guy wasn't putting you down as much as he was showing his insecurities. We wanted to appear tough and knowledgeable in front of his friend. You were an innocent bystander of his weak insecurity and self doubts. You may or may not become one that easily takes someone's negativity to push you to work harder, but hopefully if you just learn to pity those less enlightened jerks you can brush aside and redirect it away.0
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Oh and 13 pounds is huge. It's no small feat be proud and wear that weight loss proudly.0
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You have done great so far
People around you may not be as supportive as you would like them to be as its not their journey to take.
Its your journey and you are doing it for yourself so focus on yourself and ignore the negativity 0 -
Are you kidding me...... 13lbs is huge in a month!!!! Well done you!!!! You are absolutely fantastic!!!! You rock!!!!!!!
Never mind the idiot at the gym, he was just jealous of how beautiful you looked and wants a bigger rear end. He'll need it to balance that big fat head of his. Maybe he's small where it counts!!!! Are you laughing yet?????
Yes!!! Then good, my job is done. Don't listen to negative comments cos those that say them normally are not happy in their own skin so it doesn't count! We here at MFP will always support and help you because we know what you are going through. Keep your chin up and remember you are beautiful just the way you are. Think of how much more beautiful you will be at the finish line!!!! Go and treat yourself to a massage, facial, hair cut or whatever will make you feel good. You deserve it, losing weight is hard work. Great job!!!!0 -
13lb in a month is really really good, never forget that! The gym is not the only place to exercise though. I mostly walk around the neighbourhood or do Aerobics (Rosemary Coneley or Davina McCall) DVDs or Wii Zumba at home. I go to one class which is in a school hall, its really friendly and with he lights low and the disco lights is more of a party! We do 45 mins Zumba, 5 minute break then 45 mins Fitsteps, and its great for toning legs.0
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I'm with others on this! 13lbs is GREAT!! You really are doing amazing work. The gym is intimidating but by going back you are showing a great amount of strength and self-love. So important because it will show you again how very strong you are. And just think, by staying the course and taking care of you someday when you are at your goal weight someone will make a snarky comment about skinny people taking up the machines and you can turn to them and say "I worked hard for this and achieved it by using these machines." (This last comment is based on a real incident I read about over on the NSV thread in Success Stories.) It is so sad that people feel the need to tear others down, especially when you are doing something to better yourself or, in the case of that future example, maintain the awesome results you will achieve.
I haven't told anyone I personally know about my journey except my husband...and even that was hard as I did not grow up with support and learned not to think I'd get it. The last weekend in April I had a life changing mental shift and ended up friending a whole bunch of people (strangers) on here just to create the motivation and support system I knew I would need.
Feel free to friend me if you'd like more MFP support! 0 -
13 pounds lost is amazing!! I second everything everyone has said so far. Feel free to add me if you'd like. 0
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Keep at it - you're doing well! Have you thought of going to exercise classes like Zumba? 9 times out of 10 if you go alone someone will start conversation with you!!! See this as an opportunity to show all those that have ridiculed you wrong!!! You can do this - use MFP as a motivational tool! I'll add you to help support you x0
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Do you know what people like that need a royal kick up the *kitten*. Don't give them the power to make you feel bad about yourself
You've lost nearly a stone, that's freaking awesome. Nobody can take that away from you. If you feel like someone is being an arsehole, sing that song shake it off, Taylor swift I think it is, and literally shake those comments off.
Look in the mirror and tell yourself how proud you are of yourself, write a journal of your anxieties and slowly work through them and build up your confidence. You have the strength to do this, you just need to look a little deeper and find it
Good luck on your journey and keep believing in yourself xx0 -
You know what. You keep doing what you are doing. You can't control anyone else but yourself. Losing 13 lbs is a lot. People are going to talk regardless whether you're doing good or not. That's their way of making themselves feel good when they have some issues of their own. Rise above it. You got this.0
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Gen716 I sometimes feel the same way but I know that God is with me and is supporting me at all times. If you would like to talk sometimes please let me know.0
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13 pounds in a month is excellent! Sounds like you met some lunkheads at the gym. My suggestion to you is this... make some friends here, join a challenge or find a group of likeminded people right on this site and you will find an enormous amount of support. I am going to send you a friend request right now. You can do this. Just keep plugging away and ignore those who don't have your best interests at heart.0
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You can do it!!
I felt like that with the gym and even now I don't like using the weight machines when there are loads of men in there!
Believe me 13lb is something you should be shouting from the roof tops not muttering under your breath you should feel proud of yourself.
Feel free to add me as a friend!
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You've taken the biggest step by starting & changing your diet well done it's amazing those around you try & ignore them I have a mother who used to tell me I've constantly put on weight & have a issue with weight previously because of it take positive steps and the results will come x0
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I'm laying here in my Jammie's reading this and I've decided to get up and go to the gym. Don't let others run your life. You can control how those comments affect you. You can let them shatter you. Or you can use them as a catalyst. Or you can completely ignore them as the stupid hurtful words they were. Focus on the task at hand and let everyone else go to hell.
You know that the guy who said that is ignorant, rude, uncaring, ignorant! You don't care what he has to say. You wouldn't take investment advice from the jerk. Or medical. Probably wouldn't even hire him as your mechanic. Don't let his words touch you.0
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