Dealing with feelings of insecurity and low worth

kansasgrl1500

So this year, I've managed to lose 60lbs using MFP, and I've got about another 20lbs to go. However, despite losing most of the weight, I find that how I feel is really dependent on how other people perceive me. For example, I recently went to a conference and received tons of compliments and I felt awesome. A few weeks later I went to dinner with an old college friend, and I got the impression that he couldn't wait to get rid of me, and so now I feel like crap. Logically, I know that I'm being irrational, but I can't seem to shake the fact that I feel unworthy. I'm happy that I haven't used food as an emotional crutch as I have in the past, but I was wondering if anyone had any tips for not basing your self-worth on others opinions and/or how to get out of my "I suck" funk?

nicola8989

a lot of us have our self worth tied in with our weight. It won't go away overnight but it will get better - it's kind of about improving that internal voice that speaks to you. Speak to yourself with love and kindness the way you would to a loved one.

Have you tried positive affirmations - it sounds ridiculous but just telling yourself over and over again things like "I am beautiful, safe and loved" really makes a difference - there are loads of different ideas online if you don't like the idea of that one, Louise Hays also has some good ones.

I'm currently reading a book by Geneen Roth called "When you eat at the refrigerator pull up a chair" and so much of it is ringing true with me.

Just be kind to yourself - the way we treat ourselves can be so cruel, we often talk to ourselves in a way we'd never talk to another person.

kansasgrl1500

I've tried positive affirmations. I hasn't worked for me. Probably because I don't mean it. I'm just saying those things to say them, rather than meaning them.

MontanaRose84

Well start meaning it! You've got to love yourself hun! Write them on your mirrors, on your fridge, on little notes in your purse etc etc. It may sound corny and even if you don't believe it at first you will. You need to do this for weeks and weeks and WEEKS. Your brain needs to dump the bad stuff and take in the good stuff. YOU are worth it! YOU lost 60lbs. YOU did!! That's friggin awesome!!! Keep telling yourself that!! Your college "friend" sounds like a douche bag and he isn't worth YOUR time. On a side note, pursue meaning not happiness. Happiness can be fleeting; meaning is enduring. Happiness is about feeling good; meaning is about feeling purpose. Happiness is free of stress and worry and pain; meaning is finding lessons in the stress and worry and pain. You're working on a healthier you which in turn will make you happier. Pursue a healthier mindset not just the physical!