Lose 40-50 pounds in two weeks - HELP

mrvikingman
mrvikingman Posts: 83 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I need to lose 40-50 pounds in two weeks because an event is coming up that I've known about for 6 months but have been putting off actually dieting or exercising. Does anyone have any tips or a diet plan I could follow? I'm thinking about taking a week-long correspondence course that will allow me to violate the laws of Physics so I can HEALTHILY lose the weight. My friend's cousin's barber said eating tiny amounts of anti-matter will slowly blast the fat away, can anyone recommend a good fitness program to go along with this? Thanks!!!!!

/s
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Replies

  • girlalmighty08
    girlalmighty08 Posts: 130 Member
    Is this a serious question?
  • drjimmy86
    drjimmy86 Posts: 5 Member
    Amputation might get you there. But seriously, no.
  • ythannah
    ythannah Posts: 4,370 Member
    Be careful where you buy your anti-matter, there are a lot of scams and substandard products out there.
  • xMrBunglex
    xMrBunglex Posts: 1,121 Member
    Sad thing is I didn't even bat an eye when I read the title of this thread.
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,590 Member
    Im sorry hon. This is not possible.
  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
    I'm a certified Particle Annihilation Coach™. I love to help people SO much that if you buy my $7 billion starter pack of anti-quarks, I'll throw in a t-shirt for free!!
  • JSurita2
    JSurita2 Posts: 1,304 Member
    Refer to this thread, you'll find plenty of answers.

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10156638/lose-35-40-pounds-in-2-months#latest
  • Chewitz
    Chewitz Posts: 217 Member
    Only way is to consume 0 calories and burn thousands of calories a day.... so nope not possible
  • mrvikingman
    mrvikingman Posts: 83 Member
    Methinks some people didn't read the post or think this is serious :D
  • galgenstrick
    galgenstrick Posts: 2,086 Member
    edited May 2015
    If you take a spin class, be sure to not take those spin-1/2 fermions, they make you dizzy.
  • punkuate
    punkuate Posts: 127 Member
    Just eat clean (like scrub until its shiny) and weigh your food. You can totes do this. My friends sisters hamster did this and it worked.
  • cat_lady77
    cat_lady77 Posts: 203 Member
    Short answer: No. Long answer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
  • Laurend224
    Laurend224 Posts: 1,748 Member
    :D
  • NobodyPutsAmyInTheCorner
    NobodyPutsAmyInTheCorner Posts: 1,018 Member
    I tried to lose 300lb by Friday and people told me I was an abusive spammer. I was hurt. I just wanted to be less fat :(

    You can totes do this!!!!
  • juggernaut1974
    juggernaut1974 Posts: 6,212 Member
    Trolling score: 0/10 Too obvious
  • aubyshortcake
    aubyshortcake Posts: 796 Member
    ythannah wrote: »
    Be careful where you buy your anti-matter, there are a lot of scams and substandard products out there.

    I second this. I got mine off craigslist and it disintegrated half my jaw.
  • teanahk
    teanahk Posts: 81 Member
    ythannah wrote: »
    Be careful where you buy your anti-matter, there are a lot of scams and substandard products out there.

    You want to be sure to get the Anti-Matter that's endorsed by Dr. Oz. That guy is like really a doctor or something and he wouldn't suggest anything that didn't work.
  • jessicapk
    jessicapk Posts: 574 Member
    karla24687 wrote: »
    Short answer: No. Long answer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

    Bwah ha ha ha ha!!! Love this!

    Are people seriously thinking this is real? I saw the forum post it's mocking earlier and thought "blech" and moved on. But this response was priceless :D
  • mantium999
    mantium999 Posts: 1,490 Member
    The only good thing about anti-matter is the improvement of bowel movements. Or so I am told.
  • enterdanger
    enterdanger Posts: 2,447 Member
    Make sure you don't eat the anti-matter after 7pm. It turns straight to fat then.

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