Need motivation to exercise again! Just went through a break up... :'(

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KittenTamer91
KittenTamer91 Posts: 54 Member
in Motivation and Support
I was exercising quite well, almost on a daily basis but my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me the other day because he claimed to have lost the feelings and doesn't know why nor can get them back (ironically, he says he will always love me). This hurt me so bad given the fact he would often promise never to leave me, would ask me never to leave him, said how happy he was with me, promised my own MOTHER he'll never hurt me. He would tell his friends about me and I'm so close with his family. He was previously talking to me about an engagement ring (what kind(s) he's willing to buy me). I wanted to continue it but he said he can't force something that's not there and worst of all, we live together with 6 months left on the lease! Not only am I hurt and lost motivation to exercise, but I still have to end up seeing his face every day (it will hurt even worse if/once he gets a new date and brings her in the apartment). I have no motivation to exercise. He's been trying to cheer me up at night like "you'll be fine. We just weren't meant to be." Yeah, I don't think men understand how much it hurts us women. I really need motivation to get back to the gym! And can someone wring his neck for me? lol.... :neutral:

Replies

  • gamagem
    gamagem Posts: 87 Member
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    ehhh, screw him. work out, get in good shape and get a better man!
  • bevfazio
    bevfazio Posts: 25 Member
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    Break ups are tough. When all you want to do is cry it is hard to pick yourself up and brush yourself off. This is a great time to perhaps look into chick boxing or a self defense course. Maybe the exercise will help you to get out of the house and out of the same space he is occupying. Would it not be awesome that he wonders where you are? Good luck. I hope you are the better person and can get over this major bump in the road.
  • ElizabethKalmbach
    ElizabethKalmbach Posts: 1,416 Member
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    I generally start losing weight like crazy when I get through the transition from hurt to ANGRY. And then I go from ANGRY to determined.

    Because, you know, the best form of revenge is success. This time is all about YOU and treating yourself better than he ever did, because you know better than anyone ever will how to treat yourself right. Since he's still living with you, might as well show him what he's missing and lavish yourself with all the time and attention you would have wasted on him. ;-)

    <3

    You'll feel better eventually, but until you do, keep busy and love yourself.
  • williamwj2014
    williamwj2014 Posts: 750 Member
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    Okay what gets me and I don't understand is why you haven't told him to quit texting you. Just allowing him to text you is going to hold you back but anyways..you just need to go to the gym and exercise. What worked for me best during a break up was cardio as well as some music that just pumps you up. Avoid the stupid pop music you hear on the radio as that will only bring back feelings. Listen to some club tunes while you exercise, it'll make you feel good and just wanna party! You just have to force yourself to the gym and begin to accept that the relationship is over. One day at a time and it will get better.
  • TheLegendaryBrandonHarris
    TheLegendaryBrandonHarris Posts: 502 Member
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    My last girlfriend was a despicable person. She's the only woman I've ever dated that I have I'll feelings towards. Absolute trash. And what she did to me was well beyond anything I ever considered one human being would be capable of doing to another. But she did it. Purposefully.
    So, I'm angry. I'm 6'3" tall, large framed, and I'm angry. But, instead of reacting negatively, I'm trying to harness this anger and use it. I've lost 50-something pounds in four months. I take care of the women in my life (mother, sister, coworkers, friends) by cutting trees, fixing leaks, hauling furniture.

    That piece of crap made me realize my value, and I do appreciate the lesson. So you get it, girl. Get your act together. Make that chump sorry he lost you.
  • williamwj2014
    williamwj2014 Posts: 750 Member
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    TheLegendaryBrandonHarris wrote: »
    My last girlfriend was a despicable person. She's the only woman I've ever dated that I have I'll feelings towards. Absolute trash. And what she did to me was well beyond anything I ever considered one human being would be capable of doing to another. But she did it. Purposefully.
    So, I'm angry. I'm 6'3" tall, large framed, and I'm angry. But, instead of reacting negatively, I'm trying to harness this anger and use it. I've lost 50-something pounds in four months. I take care of the women in my life (mother, sister, coworkers, friends) by cutting trees, fixing leaks, hauling furniture.

    That piece of crap made me realize my value, and I do appreciate the lesson. So you get it, girl. Get your act together. Make that chump sorry he lost you.

    Same here brotha but I don't have any hard feelings anymore and am in a much better state of mind. Hopefully you get to that peaceful state of mind and your able to forgive her regardless of what she caused. You live and you learn.
  • TheLegendaryBrandonHarris
    TheLegendaryBrandonHarris Posts: 502 Member
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    Never forgive, never forget. Not this one. This one is rotten to the core. I've dated and loved a lot of women, but this one...this is one out of 40 or so I wish wish wish I'd never met. Never ever ever met. Pure. Bred. Trash.
    I guess the part that bothers me the most is that I saw the Trash labels early on, but thought she'd be ok. Boy was I wrong. A leopard can't change it's spots. Trash is trash.
    But hey, I do appreciate the response.
  • williamwj2014
    williamwj2014 Posts: 750 Member
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    TheLegendaryBrandonHarris wrote: »
    Never forgive, never forget. Not this one. This one is rotten to the core. I've dated and loved a lot of women, but this one...this is one out of 40 or so I wish wish wish I'd never met. Never ever ever met. Pure. Bred. Trash.
    I guess the part that bothers me the most is that I saw the Trash labels early on, but thought she'd be ok. Boy was I wrong. A leopard can't change it's spots. Trash is trash.
    But hey, I do appreciate the response.

    Lol forgive for the sake of your heart but if you want to hold in the anger, go for it. Not sure what this girl did to you but I've forgiven what a girl did to me in the sense that I hold no hatred towards her but will never forget. Learning experience is what it was.
  • TheLegendaryBrandonHarris
    TheLegendaryBrandonHarris Posts: 502 Member
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    I forgive myself for being tricked. I forgive myself for being trusting. I forgive myself for loving what turned out to be a despicable "human being." But her? No.

    Lol, that thing is only worth the lesson it taught me. Never again.
  • KittenTamer91
    KittenTamer91 Posts: 54 Member
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    williamwj2014 wrote: »
    Okay what gets me and I don't understand is why you haven't told him to quit texting you. Just allowing him to text you is going to hold you back but anyways..you just need to go to the gym and exercise. What worked for me best during a break up was cardio as well as some music that just pumps you up. Avoid the stupid pop music you hear on the radio as that will only bring back feelings. Listen to some club tunes while you exercise, it'll make you feel good and just wanna party! You just have to force yourself to the gym and begin to accept that the relationship is over. One day at a time and it will get better.

    There is no texting. We live together (sadly). Thanks for the advice though.
    And thanks, everyone else. I'm in college at the same time so I have to try even harder to focus now that I've been depressed.
  • lia_1992
    lia_1992 Posts: 47 Member
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    This happened to me aha 4 years but you know what they aren't worth it someone better will come along xxx
  • kpodaru
    kpodaru Posts: 133 Member
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    those feelings you have? channel them into working out and doing this FOR YOU.

    also, cut the cord. don't have any communication with him for now until you are over it.
  • djjeffa
    djjeffa Posts: 117 Member
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    If it makes you feel any better my wife of 12 years left me recently and we haveva child but the heart heels over time, stay strong and move on. Hit the gym so when you hit the beach this summer you give the guys whiplash.
  • LeeAnn254
    LeeAnn254 Posts: 35 Member
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    TheLegendaryBrandonHarris wrote: »
    I forgive myself for being tricked. I forgive myself for being trusting. I forgive myself for loving what turned out to be a despicable "human being." But her? No.

    Lol, that thing is only worth the lesson it taught me. Never again.

    Man, I'm sorry she did that too you. You gotta let the anger go until then you are still giving her the power. Remember you are letting it go for You not her. Doesn't mean you have to forget or forgive just make peace with it.

    To Pp let that hurt fuel you into taking care of yourself in all aspects of your life! You can do it.

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