No motivation from family and friends

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JadeHall27
JadeHall27 Posts: 9 Member
in Motivation and Support
My names Jade, I'm 5ft5in and 12st 6lb, for some people they may be happy with that, for my frame all I can see when I look at myself is a big wobbly belly like Santa, and thighs that could kill a man.

Is it just me or is it upsetting when you don't get the support you need??
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Replies

  • CoffeeNBooze
    CoffeeNBooze Posts: 966 Member
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    It is upsetting at times, yes. I don't know a lot about your situation, but you have to do this for yourself. If you're not getting support from family and friends, you can find people here who will support you and answer any questions you might have!
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,406 Member
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    I quickly realized (and greatly contributed it to my success) that you can not rely on others for motivation or support. You need to first find that within yourself, and IF YOU ARE LUCKY you may have outside support.

    Dont expect others to motivate or support you.
  • FreedomMK2131
    FreedomMK2131 Posts: 17 Member
    edited May 2015
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    Sometimes friends and family become jealous or resist any kind of change when it applies to someone they love. It seems strange, but it happens a lot. My family accuses me of using drugs or having an eating disorder when I drop a few pounds instead of applauding efforts of diet and exercise. MFP friends are usually a lot more supportive. Don't let your loved ones affect your goals. Good luck to you!
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    JadeHall27 wrote: »
    My names Jade, I'm 5ft5in and 12st 6lb, for some people they may be happy with that, for my frame all I can see when I look at myself is a big wobbly belly like Santa, and thighs that could kill a man.

    Is it just me or is it upsetting when you don't get the support you need??

    My husbands trying to gain weight while I lose...

    You just have to do you!
  • DeterminedFee201426
    DeterminedFee201426 Posts: 859 Member
    edited May 2015
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    FreedomMK2131 wrote: »
    Sometimes friends and family become jealous or resist any kind of change when it applies to someone they love. It seems strange, but it happens a lot. My family accuses me of using drugs or having an eating disorder when I drop a few pounds instead of applauding efforts of diet and exercise. MFP friends are usually a lot more supportive. Don't let your loved ones affect your goals. Good luck to you!
    yes for sure my family does this to me all the time sence most of my family is between 180-280 lbs they think i should be part of the heavier crew lol so alot of shame-ing they do torwards me
  • David_2015
    David_2015 Posts: 231 Member
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    TavistockToad wrote: »
    My husbands trying to gain weight while I lose...

    You just have to do you!

    I wish I had the problem of trying to gain weight!
  • praksindiafit
    praksindiafit Posts: 526 Member
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    Well u have to boost urself.. thats how it works.. easier said than done..though
  • JonathanP1962
    JonathanP1962 Posts: 111 Member
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    I was browsing through the forum looking for posts like this. So thankyou. I am getting zero support from my family and friends although some work collegues are supportive. I have lost 33lbs this time around (I am a yoyo dieter) and I am determined to keep it off and lose more.
    I have been logging 73 days in a row and had a bad motivation patch at the beginning of May. My wife's comment was "see, I told you , you cant keep this up forever". We have cleared the air since then.
    I started browsing the forums and have found a lot of help and support here and have come to the same conclusions as those written above.
    Although some people are lucky in the support they have around them :
    • You have to do this journey for yourself and be self motivated.
    • You will find help and support in these forums
  • amandabullock120
    amandabullock120 Posts: 110 Member
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    dakotababy wrote: »
    I quickly realized (and greatly contributed it to my success) that you can not rely on others for motivation or support. You need to first find that within yourself, and IF YOU ARE LUCKY you may have outside support.

    Dont expect others to motivate or support you.

    ^^This^^

  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
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    It's not their job.
  • jenncornelsen
    jenncornelsen Posts: 969 Member
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    i have learned to keep my weight loss journey to myself. unless someone asks me for advice i don't talk about it. few people will understand unless they are also trying to be healthy. i am doing this for me. i feel better and that's what matters
  • lthames0810
    lthames0810 Posts: 722 Member
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    The people you live with are naturally going to know about your dieting because they can see the way you eat, but others outside of your household don't need to know. Sharing this with friends and colleagues is just asking for unwelcome "advice" or unhelpful comments (not to mention that you will bore them to death.) Just keep it to yourself and come here to the forums for support.
  • TheBigDirection
    TheBigDirection Posts: 265 Member
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    I know the feeling! My brothers use to leave pizzas, cakes, doughnuts, and other fatty foods out on the counter for whoever wanted them. This is after I had asked them numerous times that I needed help avoiding temptation. I ended up moving in with my relatives who already eat healthy.
  • CSARdiver
    CSARdiver Posts: 6,252 Member
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    Many people are envious and cannot think beyond "I deserve to be rich/thin/etc" to what they need to do to become rich/thin/etc. Part of living in an entitlement culture. People will be offended by the suggestion that they should change their way of life in order to achieve a goal.
  • JadeHall27
    JadeHall27 Posts: 9 Member
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    Don't get me wrong, I don't expect anyone to give me full support, but an inkling would nice off my family ?

    I understand this is something i have to do by myself but it would be nice wouldn't it? If your family supported you? Like their meant to in any other part of your life?

    Eg, I wanna become a doctor, "awesome good for you, you can do it"

    I wanna train for a marathon, "brilliant! You'll do well!"

    You know, how is trying to loose weight any less of an achievement?
  • JadeHall27
    JadeHall27 Posts: 9 Member
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    To be honest, it's probably just my family...being them
  • BigLifter10
    BigLifter10 Posts: 1,152 Member
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    dakotababy wrote: »
    I quickly realized (and greatly contributed it to my success) that you can not rely on others for motivation or support. You need to first find that within yourself, and IF YOU ARE LUCKY you may have outside support.

    Dont expect others to motivate or support you.



    This is what I would say verbatim.
  • opalsqueak007
    opalsqueak007 Posts: 433 Member
    edited May 2015
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    Hi Jade. Now then, you just have to find it within yourself. You will do it. I have found some people supportive, but most people are not. Most of the people I come into contact with are fat, and they don't like it that I have lost 50lb. You are doing it for you, and if others supprt you then great, but be honest, it really only matters to you, yourself. My husband liked me fat. He likes me thinner. It was me that needed to get the weight off. Good luck, and when you lose weight and people start with the comments like "when are you going to stop?", just try and let it roll off your back. It's hard, but so is everything! ;)
  • LAMCDylan
    LAMCDylan Posts: 1,216 Member
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    Sometimes you have to be the person to support, love, and nurture yourself. You can't really depend on others. The quicker you take charge and are independent the better.
  • Tubbs216
    Tubbs216 Posts: 6,597 Member
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    jenncornelsen wrote: »
    i have learned to keep my weight loss journey to myself. unless someone asks me for advice i don't talk about it. few people will understand unless they are also trying to be healthy. i am doing this for me. i feel better and that's what matters
    I feel the same.
    Also, I think other people find it boring. I understand because I've felt that way before when someone's wanted to tell me all about their amazing diet plan.

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