Scared Not to Try

180sarah

For 10 years I have seen the scale creep up and up. I can not say that I have been on yo-yo diets because I sabotage myself and never allow myself to loose the weight. I feel like I deprive myself for one day. I exercise for one day. I get on the scale the next morning and I get depressed because the scale does not show the number I think it should for that one day of work.

So two years ago I was diagnosed with high blood pressure. Duh! I am 250 lbs and live a sedentary lifestyle. I can at least say in the past two years that I have maintained my round shape. I have not got above 255, nor below 245. But daily I weigh myself and am sickened about the number. So a week ago by routine blood work showed that I have low potassium. I am so fearful that this is going to be a turning point for me. Either I am going to get this body in shape to live or accept the health problems and this is the beginning of the end.

So I started to take my potassium last Tuesday. To tell you I was pretty tired the first two days. In the last week I have walked a half mile twice a day for 4 days. I exercised in a pool for 30 minutes for 2 days. Over the weekend I messed up my back sleeping in a tent with my daughter. So I rested on Monday on the heating pad. I felt more sluggish doing nothing. Worse than I have since I started taking the potassium. I know my body wants to move. So today after work I pulled on my big girl panties and started exercising in the pool. I figured that it was less impact than walking and I could do more. So I stretched in the pool and did a light walk for 5 minutes. I got out of the pool to answer the door. I then put on the radio and set the alarm. For 60 minutes I exercised. I ran in place. I walked around the perimeter of the pool. I paddled with my arms. I kicked with my legs. For 60 minutes I did not stop moving. It felt so good! I know that I can do this!

My husband does not have an issue with weight. My daughter is healthy. I need support and encouragement from somewhere. Yes my family supports me but they don't understand why I get discouraged and why I quit. I would like some other accountability system.

Step 1 - I have a problem. My life has become unmanageable because of my personal issues with weight. The problem is from poor diet and lack of exercise. The way to begin to manage my own life it to take control of these issues. To overcome the issue I need to eat better. To overcome the issue I need to move - to exercise. I need to seek out support of others to assist me in making sure that I am true to myself and help me manage this journey. I know that I will have ups and downs. I know that some days will come easier than others. I know that I now have a community of others (some I know and others are only a screen name) that I can lean on for encouragement, support and understanding.

I am ready for this journey. I am ready to learn. I am ready to take control. I am ready for the challenge. I am ready to manage my accomplishments. I am ready to LIVE!