How do you stick with it?

daubawauba

I'm sorry, I'm sure this question has been asked a hundred or more times, but I am so frustrated and need to vent. I have been trying to lose weight since I was 18 (I am now 25). I always manage to lose maybe 6 or 7 lbs, but then end up back at 142-145, which seems to be my body's comfortable weight. I have been that same weight for so long, until September of last year when I had the Nexplanon implant put in AND my life became more stressful than usual. I gained 15 more lbs in 3 months. I had the Nexplanon taken out in January, but have only lost 3 lbs since then. I feel so awful with this extra weight. It doesn't seem like a lot, but I gain most of my weight in my belly. My back has started to hurt, my feet hurt, my hips hurt.. and I'm sure it's from my weight. I feel 20 years older than I should. All of my fat hangs around my middle, and I am so uncomfortable all the time. I'm also tired constantly.

I have read quite a few articles recently that say "diets don't work" and that it is better to learn portion control and how to listen to hunger cues. Just "listening to my body" doesn't work for me though, my appetite is out of control. I don't think I can trust myself to develop naturally healthy eating habits. I think I will simply continue to gain and feel awful. I don't want to spend my whole life on a diet, but I am prone to binge eating and emotional eating... I also eat when I'm bored. I just wish I could be a NORMAL eater and be happy, but I was raised to clean my plate and use food for comfort and reward. Old habits die hard.

SO, I know calorie counting is probably what I need to do, but I HATE IT. After one month, I am so tired of weighing food and logging calories. It becomes obsessive and exhausting to me, it makes me feel like my life surrounds my eating habits, and I hate the thought that I might have to count forever. It completely consumes me.

I don't know what to do...

Btw, I'm 25/f and I recently had blood work done. I'm healthy and have no known problems that would contribute to my appetite/weight gain.

arditarose

I guess it consumes me too...but not in a negative way. I like it. In fact, it's the first thing I've ever kept up with and the most organized I've been about anything in my entire life. Once I saw how well it worked and understood the science, and got into lifting, I was hooked.

What is it you hate most about logging? Perhaps we can make some suggestions.

daubawauba

I find it tiresome, always having to get on the computer or my phone and search for the foods and everything. I become frustrated because I find it difficult to log home-made meals, and my husband loves to cook. I hate having to stop to weigh everything. Calorie counting becomes an exercise in perfection, and I get frustrated when it isn't perfect. I don't like reducing my diet and eating habits to numbers. The entire thing just feels unnatural and frustrating to me.

I don't know how better to explain it. :-/

arditarose

daubawauba wrote: »

I find it tiresome, always having to get on the computer or my phone and search for the foods and everything. I become frustrated because I find it difficult to log home-made meals, and my husband loves to cook. I hate having to stop to weigh everything. Calorie counting becomes an exercise in perfection, and I get frustrated when it isn't perfect. I don't like reducing my diet and eating habits to numbers. The entire thing just feels unnatural and frustrating to me.

I don't know how better to explain it. :-/

Makes sense. I'm sorry you hate it so much and that I don't have any good advice for you All I can say is if it works for you, keep it up. You'll lose the weight, get a great idea of moderation/portion control, and you can be successful maintaining without logging?

MakePeasNotWar

This might sound like a silly question, but do you believe you can lose weight? You sound really defeated, and it's hard to stay motivated if you don't have confidence in the outcome. Read some of the success stories, and you will see people who tried everything under the sun to lose weight with no success, but then started on MFP and lost significant amounts of weight for the first time in their lives.

On a more practical note, eating the same foods fairly often can help streamline the logging process. I probably have a list of about 10 veggies, a dozen fruits and 3 or 4 proteins that make up 80% of my entries, and now that they are in my "frequent" tab, I can add them in no time.

maillemaker

You will probably find after you log for about a month that you pretty much eat the same stuff all the time. So logging gets a lot easier because you can just pick the most recent entries and be done with it. I pretty much log 80% of the day's calories first thing in the morning because I know what I will be eating for breakfast, lunch, and snack.

The biggest thing that logging does for you, and perhaps the most important thing overall, is that you get a visual appreciation of how big a portion corresponds to a "normal" portion of calories. So you will come to understand, without even logging, that you can eat two pieces of pizza in a meal if you are careful but any more than that will probably blow the day's allotment. Conversely you can eat several slices of bacon and two eggs and still have plenty of calories left over for the rest of the day.

kami3006

I agree that you sound very defeated. Perhaps if you talked to a therapist it would help you gain some perspective and aid you in tackling the binging and emotional eating.

kami3006

kami3006 wrote: »

I agree that you sound very defeated. Perhaps if you talked to a therapist it would help you gain some perspective and aid you in tackling the binging and emotional eating.

ETA: and help with the need to overwhelm yourself by doing it perfectly.

kosho2010

I'm 35 and didn't diet for 10 years between 23 and 33 because I was so sick of not losing weight, or losing it and regaining it. 2 1/2 years ago I joined TOPS, lost a few pounds, and then read Why We Get Fat and What to Do About It, which a fellow member recommended. It really resonated with me, and since then I've been slowly losing weight eating low carb high fat. I think that my lack of success previously was because low fat dieting just doesn't work for me. Anyway, I do recommend reading the book but it may or may not mean as much to you.

daubawauba

arditarose, thanks for trying anyways, we obviously have very different feelings about calorie counting! I have seen some success with calorie counting in the past, but I always get frustrated and gain the weight back. I'm worried that even if I reach my goals, I won't be able to maintain without counting forever, and I find that depressing!

MakePeas... I guess my answer to that question would often be a no. I have tried many things, including MFP, and I'm never successful long-term. I DO feel defeated.

I recently convinced myself that I was never going to diet again, I was going to learn to love my body, and just worry about health and happiness. That lasted for about a week. Then the aches, pains, and fatigue reminded me that it's not just about my appearance...

Thanks for the advice, I know what you mean. I do have things that I eat most often that are easy to log. I guess it's mostly when my husband cooks varied meals that it becomes difficult.

daubawauba

I guess my main problem isn't calorie counting, but is sticking to anything for very long. Maybe I do need a therapist! :-/

ladieofthebees

I hated the idea of logging calories at first for all the same reasons, and even after I started, I resisted getting a food scale for a while because I felt like this was going to take control of my life. But I found, once I gave it a chance, that these things were just tools to help ME gain control of my life. Once I realized that, that feeling of helplessness faded away.

Maybe just try and look at it from that perspective - not that calorie counting and food logging is some never ending thing that will consume your life, but as things that are going to work for you to help you be happier.

This was just my experience, as someone whose been in the same boat before. Hope this helps!

daubawauba

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daubawauba

What I mean is, I don't particularly enjoy calorie counting, but I think I blow it up into something bigger than it is, get frustrated, and give up. I find it so difficult to stay positive and motivated.

daubawauba

Ladieofthebees, that's a really good perspective. Thank you for the wise words.

kami3006

daubawauba wrote: »

I guess my main problem isn't calorie counting, but is sticking to anything for very long. Maybe I do need a therapist! :-/

There's strength in seeking out help when you need it. Worth a try for sure.

I really do hope you get a handle on this. I've dealt with depression for years and though I'm not saying that's what you have, I do know what it feels like to not see and end to a problem. Someone who has dealt with this with other people can really help you gain perspective.

Mentiri

Logging everything was difficult at first, but I actually enjoy it now! I like manually entering my recipes and tweaking the ingredients for a healthier balance. Maybe your husband could do that part for you! Being able to save whole meals is a real time saver, too, as there are really only three or four breakfasts and lunches that I typically eat. I can plan better as well, pairing a low-protein, high-carb breakfast with a high-protein, low-carb lunch or vice versa. Try using a voice-recording or note-taking app to keep track of your food during the day, and sit down in the evening with a cup of tea to log everything if doing it in the moment is too much of a hassle. Don't give up! You can make this process work for you - don't let it add to your stress.

999tigger

I dont really get it OP, you vent about how upsetting/ depressing the situation is and what a nightmare calorie counting is, but then your choice is to do something about it or accept yourself and life as is.

Why do tou hate calorie counting, its simply a basic way of keeping track of eating an amount your body actually needs, notwithstanding a deficit to lose weight. If you wnat it any other way then you will be eating more than you need and you get the consequences. Thats just the way it is. If you wnat to ,lose weight then get on with it and start doing consistent deficits, theres plenty of ways you can make it easier for yourself. The alternative is to not try and accept the status quo.

Its not that hard, just a bit dull and takes patience as well as determination. Again good planning, knowledge and the right mindset will help you stick with it and cross the finish line.

Too many people fret, overcomplicate and then get stressed by the process. Patience and flexibility will serve you well. Hoem made meals are easy just use the recipe builder, invest time in puting them toether and youll find yourself returning to the same meals and copying hem from a previous entry with adjustments. Rather than look at weighing as soemthing that makes you miserable, change your approach and realise it cna be a blessing and a considerable asset in making more likely the chance you will lose weight.

unbreakable51

I find calorie counting to be a major drag too. But whoever said to think of it as a tool to gain control of my life, has helped me too. I know this battle is in my head, and I have to stop thinking of it as a chore, but rather a tool to improve my health, my outlook, my life. It's easy , free, and effective if you're honest about everything.

twichele

I had a similar situation with a medication and weight gain then I'd lose and gain some. I will say I find it be be defeating also. I'm trying to determine the best way to track regardless of good and bad and get more exercise while dealing with a desk job and a long commute.

TheRoseRoss

I hope this helps, as your situation is not an easy one; a gentleman speaking on a podcasts said:

There are two guy, both of which are alcoholics. They both go to a recovery program, listen to the same lectures, and perform the same exercises. One of them is there because he has truly hit rock bottom and said "that's it! I'm making a change! The other is there because his spouse browbeat him into going. One of them will benefit from the program, the other will not.

Is point was, the latter may argue "I wasn't able to quit alcohol because I wasn't using the right program," but the former proved that the program does work. The difference was in the steps that they took to reach their goal, they both took the same steps. The difference was their reason for wanting to reach that goal. One guy wanted to give up alcohol because he had truly had his last drink. The other was only there because of an external stimulus. Maybe your plight isn't so much that you haven't found a method that will work, but something else. Only you can know for sure, but perhaps speaking with a professional, if that's an option for you, will help you realize what triggers your "lapses."

All I have to go on are your posts, but my gut tells me that you're clinging to your failures and perhaps allowing the times that you feel you have failed to distract you/demotivate you from trying again. Personal experience, I'm the type that would rather fail because I didn't try, than to have tried my best only to fail. That way I can tell myself "yeah, I failed. But had I tried, I totally would have succeeded." It allows me to "save face" in my own way. It took me years of soul searching to learn and accept that about myself.

You're tired of weighing food and counting calories. I completely understand that. I used to waste time doing that as well. I still do, but it's automatic now, and I'm A LOT faster at it because of practice. Perhaps weighing food and counting calories isn't for you longterm. But maybe do it for 12 weeks - it will fly by. Be consistent with what you eat. Take your measurements (with seamstress tape) every ~2 weeks. After 12 weeks, you should then have a decent foundation of habit, and more importantly have a very good idea of how your body will react to a certain lifestyle. Then you will know "I ate in this manner, and got these results." With that as your baseline you can then begin to figure out "I don't need to count calories, but maybe I should increase my activity level and/or change up my diet by eating less of this and/or more of that." It may seem daunting, but you're giving yourself data so you know what kind of adjustments to make. Right now you're just shooting from the hip, in the dark, and becoming more and more frustrated by not being able to hit your target. Let's turn on the lights, see where your target is, take a shot, and then adjust your aim accordingly.

First, ask yourself: "Why do I want to do this?" I do this because I'm sick and tired of being the guy that always finds an excuse to not better himself. And I was fortunate enough to have someone in my life that said "I'm sick of your big talk and no follow through. If you're going to do it, DO IT! But for god's sake, stop talking about it!" I do this because I don't want to be embarrassed to take my shirt off at the waterpark. I don't want to spend another summer making excuses of not taking her to the waterpark, and forcing her aunt to take her, because I'm too self conscious about my body, and the people that I just know are judging me. I do this because I remember being a kid, and teasing other kids because their dads were overweight. I don't want my daughter to get teased because her dad is overweight. Every time I feel myself sliding I ask "what means more to you? This thing you're going to eat? Or the body you want? Which means more to you, getting another 3 hours of sleep, or getting up and getting to the gym?" When people look at you and you feel embarrassed about your gut, are you going to look back on this box of donuts and feel that they were worth eating, or are you going to regret eating them?"

It doesn't always work. But I've learned to say "okay, you fell down. Don't stay down." Find your reason. Figure out what you want, and why.

azulvioleta6

What has worked for me is to add one new habit or goal at a time. I spend three or four weeks mastering something and then I add another challenge or try to get more precise about some particular aspect of my diet or fitness.

I weigh every day so that I have concrete data about how I am doing. I don't let myself slip up more than a couple of pounds.

Counting calories IS annoying at first, but once you have been doing it for a while, it becomes second nature. Do you check in on Facebook every day? Tracking/planning your food and exercise every day takes about the same amount of time. I lost 55 pounds before I changed my diet at all. I really did not want to have to track, but I hit a wall that I couldn't climb over without the aid of tracking. I have been tracking for something like three years now and it has taught me SO much about what actually works for my body. That is such valuable information to have at your disposal.

It sounds like food is your solution to boredom. So, figure out some ways to make your life more interesting which don't revolve around food. Could you go back to school? Take an interesting class? Explore a new hobby?