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Men...what physique do you find attractive on a woman???
Replies
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365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »MarissaPalm wrote: »
There is so much that is different in the video. For example, to say that men cannot recall when they saw beauty I feel is completely wrong. I am sure I can text a friend a say
"Yo you remember that one girl five years ago?"
him= "the one with the big *kitten*?" Yeah I remember"
But main point of the video was when he talked about It doesn't matter. 100% true unless you with a guy that is tempted to stray.
Yeah, I didn't believe the thing about men not remembering women. That's bull. But I highly doubt it doesn't matter.
So here's the thing that I constantly remind women, as someone who used to be very insecure myself.
HE'S WITH YOU.
The girl he oggled a bit at the mall; did he climb in the car and take her home with him? No, he took you.
The girl he checked out on the beach because her bikini top was a little bit too small for her boobs; did he run up and grab 'em? No (but he'll probably grab yours later if you play your cards right)
To an extent, it's human nature. And if it's something your SO does that bugs you, have a discussion with them about it. My present SO (because i'm bisexual) used to point out other women he found attractive almost in this, 'so like, wanna have a potential three-way' type context and that super offended me, so like an adult, we talked about it and he doesn't do it anymore. I'm just not naive enough to think that means that he isn't still noticing those women (or dreaming of three-ways; I'm just happy I'm still involved with that fantasy in a sense lol).
Unless your SO is turning around and saying, "I wish your *kitten* looked like hers," I think you're probably okay.
Forgive me if I'm asking too many questions, I'm just inexperienced here.
But isn't it sometimes due to laziness? Like, a man would prefer being with someone else but knows they'd either strike out or it's too much effort to pursue another? So they end up settling for someone less-than-ideal--the girl they already have?0 -
malavika413 wrote: »365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »MarissaPalm wrote: »
There is so much that is different in the video. For example, to say that men cannot recall when they saw beauty I feel is completely wrong. I am sure I can text a friend a say
"Yo you remember that one girl five years ago?"
him= "the one with the big *kitten*?" Yeah I remember"
But main point of the video was when he talked about It doesn't matter. 100% true unless you with a guy that is tempted to stray.
Yeah, I didn't believe the thing about men not remembering women. That's bull. But I highly doubt it doesn't matter.
So here's the thing that I constantly remind women, as someone who used to be very insecure myself.
HE'S WITH YOU.
The girl he oggled a bit at the mall; did he climb in the car and take her home with him? No, he took you.
The girl he checked out on the beach because her bikini top was a little bit too small for her boobs; did he run up and grab 'em? No (but he'll probably grab yours later if you play your cards right)
To an extent, it's human nature. And if it's something your SO does that bugs you, have a discussion with them about it. My present SO (because i'm bisexual) used to point out other women he found attractive almost in this, 'so like, wanna have a potential three-way' type context and that super offended me, so like an adult, we talked about it and he doesn't do it anymore. I'm just not naive enough to think that means that he isn't still noticing those women (or dreaming of three-ways; I'm just happy I'm still involved with that fantasy in a sense lol).
Unless your SO is turning around and saying, "I wish your *kitten* looked like hers," I think you're probably okay.
Forgive me if I'm asking too many questions, I'm just inexperienced here.
But isn't it sometimes due to laziness? Like, a man would prefer being with someone else but knows they'd either strike out or it's too much effort to pursue another? So they end up settling for someone less-than-ideal--the girl they already have?
If men are doing than then no wonder divorce rates are so high in the USA. You have an interesting way of think that men don't really do. Also I think there is not a definite answer as I keep thinking about your question.0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »MarissaPalm wrote: »
There is so much that is different in the video. For example, to say that men cannot recall when they saw beauty I feel is completely wrong. I am sure I can text a friend a say
"Yo you remember that one girl five years ago?"
him= "the one with the big *kitten*?" Yeah I remember"
But main point of the video was when he talked about It doesn't matter. 100% true unless you with a guy that is tempted to stray.
Yeah, I didn't believe the thing about men not remembering women. That's bull. But I highly doubt it doesn't matter.
So here's the thing that I constantly remind women, as someone who used to be very insecure myself.
HE'S WITH YOU.
The girl he oggled a bit at the mall; did he climb in the car and take her home with him? No, he took you.
The girl he checked out on the beach because her bikini top was a little bit too small for her boobs; did he run up and grab 'em? No (but he'll probably grab yours later if you play your cards right)
To an extent, it's human nature. And if it's something your SO does that bugs you, have a discussion with them about it. My present SO (because i'm bisexual) used to point out other women he found attractive almost in this, 'so like, wanna have a potential three-way' type context and that super offended me, so like an adult, we talked about it and he doesn't do it anymore. I'm just not naive enough to think that means that he isn't still noticing those women (or dreaming of three-ways; I'm just happy I'm still involved with that fantasy in a sense lol).
Unless your SO is turning around and saying, "I wish your *kitten* looked like hers," I think you're probably okay.
Forgive me if I'm asking too many questions, I'm just inexperienced here.
But isn't it sometimes due to laziness? Like, a man would prefer being with someone else but knows they'd either strike out or it's too much effort to pursue another? So they end up settling for someone less-than-ideal--the girl they already have?
If men are doing than then no wonder divorce rates are so high in the USA. You have an interesting way of think that men don't really do. Also I think there is not a definite answer as I keep thinking about your question.
I mean, I'm going off my limited experience observing men. Obviously I'm young so the guys I've met aren't indicative of the whole population. Many guys I know complain about the dating process and how much work it is, so it makes sense why they won't want to pursue every attractive woman out there, especially if they've already got someone mildly attractive to them.0 -
malavika413 wrote: »365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »MarissaPalm wrote: »
There is so much that is different in the video. For example, to say that men cannot recall when they saw beauty I feel is completely wrong. I am sure I can text a friend a say
"Yo you remember that one girl five years ago?"
him= "the one with the big *kitten*?" Yeah I remember"
But main point of the video was when he talked about It doesn't matter. 100% true unless you with a guy that is tempted to stray.
Yeah, I didn't believe the thing about men not remembering women. That's bull. But I highly doubt it doesn't matter.
So here's the thing that I constantly remind women, as someone who used to be very insecure myself.
HE'S WITH YOU.
The girl he oggled a bit at the mall; did he climb in the car and take her home with him? No, he took you.
The girl he checked out on the beach because her bikini top was a little bit too small for her boobs; did he run up and grab 'em? No (but he'll probably grab yours later if you play your cards right)
To an extent, it's human nature. And if it's something your SO does that bugs you, have a discussion with them about it. My present SO (because i'm bisexual) used to point out other women he found attractive almost in this, 'so like, wanna have a potential three-way' type context and that super offended me, so like an adult, we talked about it and he doesn't do it anymore. I'm just not naive enough to think that means that he isn't still noticing those women (or dreaming of three-ways; I'm just happy I'm still involved with that fantasy in a sense lol).
Unless your SO is turning around and saying, "I wish your *kitten* looked like hers," I think you're probably okay.
Forgive me if I'm asking too many questions, I'm just inexperienced here.
But isn't it sometimes due to laziness? Like, a man would prefer being with someone else but knows they'd either strike out or it's too much effort to pursue another? So they end up settling for someone less-than-ideal--the girl they already have?
If you're ever with someone who makes you feel like they're settling for you, that's a red flag that isn't the relationship for you. But you need to balance that with the idea of, are you just honestly over thinking things?
In my experience, when it comes to the dating world, if a man (or woman for that matter) doesn't want to be in a relationship, they just leave (sometimes gradually, sometimes all at once). It's a bit different when you get to the more complicated stage where say, you've lived together for a few years.
Without knowing your back story, it sounds like you're projecting your own insecurities about yourself onto your relationship. Know that at any weight or other qualifier, you are worthy of love, respect and the level of commitment you're looking for.0 -
365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »MarissaPalm wrote: »
There is so much that is different in the video. For example, to say that men cannot recall when they saw beauty I feel is completely wrong. I am sure I can text a friend a say
"Yo you remember that one girl five years ago?"
him= "the one with the big *kitten*?" Yeah I remember"
But main point of the video was when he talked about It doesn't matter. 100% true unless you with a guy that is tempted to stray.
Yeah, I didn't believe the thing about men not remembering women. That's bull. But I highly doubt it doesn't matter.
So here's the thing that I constantly remind women, as someone who used to be very insecure myself.
HE'S WITH YOU.
The girl he oggled a bit at the mall; did he climb in the car and take her home with him? No, he took you.
The girl he checked out on the beach because her bikini top was a little bit too small for her boobs; did he run up and grab 'em? No (but he'll probably grab yours later if you play your cards right)
To an extent, it's human nature. And if it's something your SO does that bugs you, have a discussion with them about it. My present SO (because i'm bisexual) used to point out other women he found attractive almost in this, 'so like, wanna have a potential three-way' type context and that super offended me, so like an adult, we talked about it and he doesn't do it anymore. I'm just not naive enough to think that means that he isn't still noticing those women (or dreaming of three-ways; I'm just happy I'm still involved with that fantasy in a sense lol).
Unless your SO is turning around and saying, "I wish your *kitten* looked like hers," I think you're probably okay.
Forgive me if I'm asking too many questions, I'm just inexperienced here.
But isn't it sometimes due to laziness? Like, a man would prefer being with someone else but knows they'd either strike out or it's too much effort to pursue another? So they end up settling for someone less-than-ideal--the girl they already have?
If you're ever with someone who makes you feel like they're settling for you, that's a red flag that isn't the relationship for you. But you need to balance that with the idea of, are you just honestly over thinking things?
In my experience, when it comes to the dating world, if a man (or woman for that matter) doesn't want to be in a relationship, they just leave (sometimes gradually, sometimes all at once). It's a bit different when you get to the more complicated stage where say, you've lived together for a few years.
Without knowing your back story, it sounds like you're projecting your own insecurities about yourself onto your relationship. Know that at any weight or other qualifier, you are worthy of love, respect and the level of commitment you're looking for.
I could be projecting, yeah. I just don't want to be naive and believe in unconditional love and all that stuff. And I'm not really commenting on my relationship, I'm just trying to get an idea about the general male population.0 -
Above room temperature.0
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malavika413 wrote: »365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »MarissaPalm wrote: »
There is so much that is different in the video. For example, to say that men cannot recall when they saw beauty I feel is completely wrong. I am sure I can text a friend a say
"Yo you remember that one girl five years ago?"
him= "the one with the big *kitten*?" Yeah I remember"
But main point of the video was when he talked about It doesn't matter. 100% true unless you with a guy that is tempted to stray.
Yeah, I didn't believe the thing about men not remembering women. That's bull. But I highly doubt it doesn't matter.
So here's the thing that I constantly remind women, as someone who used to be very insecure myself.
HE'S WITH YOU.
The girl he oggled a bit at the mall; did he climb in the car and take her home with him? No, he took you.
The girl he checked out on the beach because her bikini top was a little bit too small for her boobs; did he run up and grab 'em? No (but he'll probably grab yours later if you play your cards right)
To an extent, it's human nature. And if it's something your SO does that bugs you, have a discussion with them about it. My present SO (because i'm bisexual) used to point out other women he found attractive almost in this, 'so like, wanna have a potential three-way' type context and that super offended me, so like an adult, we talked about it and he doesn't do it anymore. I'm just not naive enough to think that means that he isn't still noticing those women (or dreaming of three-ways; I'm just happy I'm still involved with that fantasy in a sense lol).
Unless your SO is turning around and saying, "I wish your *kitten* looked like hers," I think you're probably okay.
Forgive me if I'm asking too many questions, I'm just inexperienced here.
But isn't it sometimes due to laziness? Like, a man would prefer being with someone else but knows they'd either strike out or it's too much effort to pursue another? So they end up settling for someone less-than-ideal--the girl they already have?
If you're ever with someone who makes you feel like they're settling for you, that's a red flag that isn't the relationship for you. But you need to balance that with the idea of, are you just honestly over thinking things?
In my experience, when it comes to the dating world, if a man (or woman for that matter) doesn't want to be in a relationship, they just leave (sometimes gradually, sometimes all at once). It's a bit different when you get to the more complicated stage where say, you've lived together for a few years.
Without knowing your back story, it sounds like you're projecting your own insecurities about yourself onto your relationship. Know that at any weight or other qualifier, you are worthy of love, respect and the level of commitment you're looking for.
I could be projecting, yeah. I just don't want to be naive and believe in unconditional love and all that stuff. And I'm not really commenting on my relationship, I'm just trying to get an idea about the general male population.
No worries! Just trying to give you an honest answer.
I will argue though that there isn't a single train of thought among even the majority of the male population. In the same way that I constantly argue that every woman thinks differently and has different preferences, men completely do too.
I try not to hold what someone of one gender does against their entire gender. It's just not indicative of how everyone's going to act.0 -
thinfitfabulous wrote: »I'm willing to bet that although everyone is being politically correct in this forum, in reality everyone is attracted to a certain physique more than others.
Yes, but all most men have differnt types they are attracted to, so the OP will get a broad range of responses, almost as many different answers as there are different people responding, so it is a pointless exercise to ask what "men" like. WE ALL LIKE WHAT WE LIKE, WHICH PROBABLY DIFFERS FROM OTHERS0 -
365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »MarissaPalm wrote: »
There is so much that is different in the video. For example, to say that men cannot recall when they saw beauty I feel is completely wrong. I am sure I can text a friend a say
"Yo you remember that one girl five years ago?"
him= "the one with the big *kitten*?" Yeah I remember"
But main point of the video was when he talked about It doesn't matter. 100% true unless you with a guy that is tempted to stray.
Yeah, I didn't believe the thing about men not remembering women. That's bull. But I highly doubt it doesn't matter.
So here's the thing that I constantly remind women, as someone who used to be very insecure myself.
HE'S WITH YOU.
The girl he oggled a bit at the mall; did he climb in the car and take her home with him? No, he took you.
The girl he checked out on the beach because her bikini top was a little bit too small for her boobs; did he run up and grab 'em? No (but he'll probably grab yours later if you play your cards right)
To an extent, it's human nature. And if it's something your SO does that bugs you, have a discussion with them about it. My present SO (because i'm bisexual) used to point out other women he found attractive almost in this, 'so like, wanna have a potential three-way' type context and that super offended me, so like an adult, we talked about it and he doesn't do it anymore. I'm just not naive enough to think that means that he isn't still noticing those women (or dreaming of three-ways; I'm just happy I'm still involved with that fantasy in a sense lol).
Unless your SO is turning around and saying, "I wish your *kitten* looked like hers," I think you're probably okay.
Forgive me if I'm asking too many questions, I'm just inexperienced here.
But isn't it sometimes due to laziness? Like, a man would prefer being with someone else but knows they'd either strike out or it's too much effort to pursue another? So they end up settling for someone less-than-ideal--the girl they already have?
If you're ever with someone who makes you feel like they're settling for you, that's a red flag that isn't the relationship for you. But you need to balance that with the idea of, are you just honestly over thinking things?
In my experience, when it comes to the dating world, if a man (or woman for that matter) doesn't want to be in a relationship, they just leave (sometimes gradually, sometimes all at once). It's a bit different when you get to the more complicated stage where say, you've lived together for a few years.
Without knowing your back story, it sounds like you're projecting your own insecurities about yourself onto your relationship. Know that at any weight or other qualifier, you are worthy of love, respect and the level of commitment you're looking for.
I could be projecting, yeah. I just don't want to be naive and believe in unconditional love and all that stuff. And I'm not really commenting on my relationship, I'm just trying to get an idea about the general male population.
No worries! Just trying to give you an honest answer.
I will argue though that there isn't a single train of thought among even the majority of the male population. In the same way that I constantly argue that every woman thinks differently and has different preferences, men completely do too.
I try not to hold what someone of one gender does against their entire gender. It's just not indicative of how everyone's going to act.
That makes sense. I still don't know what my goal weight should be, haha. I guess I'll just keep losing weight and see what looks good.0 -
malavika413 wrote: »365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »MarissaPalm wrote: »
There is so much that is different in the video. For example, to say that men cannot recall when they saw beauty I feel is completely wrong. I am sure I can text a friend a say
"Yo you remember that one girl five years ago?"
him= "the one with the big *kitten*?" Yeah I remember"
But main point of the video was when he talked about It doesn't matter. 100% true unless you with a guy that is tempted to stray.
Yeah, I didn't believe the thing about men not remembering women. That's bull. But I highly doubt it doesn't matter.
So here's the thing that I constantly remind women, as someone who used to be very insecure myself.
HE'S WITH YOU.
The girl he oggled a bit at the mall; did he climb in the car and take her home with him? No, he took you.
The girl he checked out on the beach because her bikini top was a little bit too small for her boobs; did he run up and grab 'em? No (but he'll probably grab yours later if you play your cards right)
To an extent, it's human nature. And if it's something your SO does that bugs you, have a discussion with them about it. My present SO (because i'm bisexual) used to point out other women he found attractive almost in this, 'so like, wanna have a potential three-way' type context and that super offended me, so like an adult, we talked about it and he doesn't do it anymore. I'm just not naive enough to think that means that he isn't still noticing those women (or dreaming of three-ways; I'm just happy I'm still involved with that fantasy in a sense lol).
Unless your SO is turning around and saying, "I wish your *kitten* looked like hers," I think you're probably okay.
Forgive me if I'm asking too many questions, I'm just inexperienced here.
But isn't it sometimes due to laziness? Like, a man would prefer being with someone else but knows they'd either strike out or it's too much effort to pursue another? So they end up settling for someone less-than-ideal--the girl they already have?
If you're ever with someone who makes you feel like they're settling for you, that's a red flag that isn't the relationship for you. But you need to balance that with the idea of, are you just honestly over thinking things?
In my experience, when it comes to the dating world, if a man (or woman for that matter) doesn't want to be in a relationship, they just leave (sometimes gradually, sometimes all at once). It's a bit different when you get to the more complicated stage where say, you've lived together for a few years.
Without knowing your back story, it sounds like you're projecting your own insecurities about yourself onto your relationship. Know that at any weight or other qualifier, you are worthy of love, respect and the level of commitment you're looking for.
I could be projecting, yeah. I just don't want to be naive and believe in unconditional love and all that stuff. And I'm not really commenting on my relationship, I'm just trying to get an idea about the general male population.
No worries! Just trying to give you an honest answer.
I will argue though that there isn't a single train of thought among even the majority of the male population. In the same way that I constantly argue that every woman thinks differently and has different preferences, men completely do too.
I try not to hold what someone of one gender does against their entire gender. It's just not indicative of how everyone's going to act.
That makes sense. I still don't know what my goal weight should be, haha. I guess I'll just keep losing weight and see what looks good to me.
I fixed your comment.
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yopeeps025 wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »MarissaPalm wrote: »
There is so much that is different in the video. For example, to say that men cannot recall when they saw beauty I feel is completely wrong. I am sure I can text a friend a say
"Yo you remember that one girl five years ago?"
him= "the one with the big *kitten*?" Yeah I remember"
But main point of the video was when he talked about It doesn't matter. 100% true unless you with a guy that is tempted to stray.
Yeah, I didn't believe the thing about men not remembering women. That's bull. But I highly doubt it doesn't matter.
So here's the thing that I constantly remind women, as someone who used to be very insecure myself.
HE'S WITH YOU.
The girl he oggled a bit at the mall; did he climb in the car and take her home with him? No, he took you.
The girl he checked out on the beach because her bikini top was a little bit too small for her boobs; did he run up and grab 'em? No (but he'll probably grab yours later if you play your cards right)
To an extent, it's human nature. And if it's something your SO does that bugs you, have a discussion with them about it. My present SO (because i'm bisexual) used to point out other women he found attractive almost in this, 'so like, wanna have a potential three-way' type context and that super offended me, so like an adult, we talked about it and he doesn't do it anymore. I'm just not naive enough to think that means that he isn't still noticing those women (or dreaming of three-ways; I'm just happy I'm still involved with that fantasy in a sense lol).
Unless your SO is turning around and saying, "I wish your *kitten* looked like hers," I think you're probably okay.
Forgive me if I'm asking too many questions, I'm just inexperienced here.
But isn't it sometimes due to laziness? Like, a man would prefer being with someone else but knows they'd either strike out or it's too much effort to pursue another? So they end up settling for someone less-than-ideal--the girl they already have?
If you're ever with someone who makes you feel like they're settling for you, that's a red flag that isn't the relationship for you. But you need to balance that with the idea of, are you just honestly over thinking things?
In my experience, when it comes to the dating world, if a man (or woman for that matter) doesn't want to be in a relationship, they just leave (sometimes gradually, sometimes all at once). It's a bit different when you get to the more complicated stage where say, you've lived together for a few years.
Without knowing your back story, it sounds like you're projecting your own insecurities about yourself onto your relationship. Know that at any weight or other qualifier, you are worthy of love, respect and the level of commitment you're looking for.
I could be projecting, yeah. I just don't want to be naive and believe in unconditional love and all that stuff. And I'm not really commenting on my relationship, I'm just trying to get an idea about the general male population.
No worries! Just trying to give you an honest answer.
I will argue though that there isn't a single train of thought among even the majority of the male population. In the same way that I constantly argue that every woman thinks differently and has different preferences, men completely do too.
I try not to hold what someone of one gender does against their entire gender. It's just not indicative of how everyone's going to act.
That makes sense. I still don't know what my goal weight should be, haha. I guess I'll just keep losing weight and see what looks good to me.
I fixed your comment.
That's sort of what I meant, but I'd also take into account the opinions of people I care about.0 -
I don't understand the whole thing like "I won't date a girl that's over 150lbs" or something like that. Bodies are actually different and so is bone density and muscle mass. I bet you could line up 5 girls that all weigh exactly the same but their bodies would be different.
Personally, I've tended to go for thicker girls...they cook better. (that was a joke people!!). For real, though, my dating history would primarily show that I've dated thicker women. I don't mind a little cushion. The main thing I look for, like I posted before, is kind eyes and a nice smile. She has to have a pretty face because that's mainly what I look at....unless her butt is just that awesome in pants, then I'm looking there more. haha0 -
vadersaysno wrote: »I don't understand the whole thing like "I won't date a girl that's over 150lbs" or something like that. Bodies are actually different and so is bone density and muscle mass. I bet you could line up 5 girls that all weigh exactly the same but their bodies would be different.
Personally, I've tended to go for thicker girls...they cook better. (that was a joke people!!). For real, though, my dating history would primarily show that I've dated thicker women. I don't mind a little cushion. The main thing I look for, like I posted before, is kind eyes and a nice smile. She has to have a pretty face because that's mainly what I look at....unless her butt is just that awesome in pants, then I'm looking there more. haha
I see the limits more in terms of height rather than weight, because there are so many variations in body type. At 5'3 I'm usually too short for most guys, but a friend of mine at 5'10 is too tall for them.0 -
malavika413 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »MarissaPalm wrote: »
There is so much that is different in the video. For example, to say that men cannot recall when they saw beauty I feel is completely wrong. I am sure I can text a friend a say
"Yo you remember that one girl five years ago?"
him= "the one with the big *kitten*?" Yeah I remember"
But main point of the video was when he talked about It doesn't matter. 100% true unless you with a guy that is tempted to stray.
Yeah, I didn't believe the thing about men not remembering women. That's bull. But I highly doubt it doesn't matter.
So here's the thing that I constantly remind women, as someone who used to be very insecure myself.
HE'S WITH YOU.
The girl he oggled a bit at the mall; did he climb in the car and take her home with him? No, he took you.
The girl he checked out on the beach because her bikini top was a little bit too small for her boobs; did he run up and grab 'em? No (but he'll probably grab yours later if you play your cards right)
To an extent, it's human nature. And if it's something your SO does that bugs you, have a discussion with them about it. My present SO (because i'm bisexual) used to point out other women he found attractive almost in this, 'so like, wanna have a potential three-way' type context and that super offended me, so like an adult, we talked about it and he doesn't do it anymore. I'm just not naive enough to think that means that he isn't still noticing those women (or dreaming of three-ways; I'm just happy I'm still involved with that fantasy in a sense lol).
Unless your SO is turning around and saying, "I wish your *kitten* looked like hers," I think you're probably okay.
Forgive me if I'm asking too many questions, I'm just inexperienced here.
But isn't it sometimes due to laziness? Like, a man would prefer being with someone else but knows they'd either strike out or it's too much effort to pursue another? So they end up settling for someone less-than-ideal--the girl they already have?
If you're ever with someone who makes you feel like they're settling for you, that's a red flag that isn't the relationship for you. But you need to balance that with the idea of, are you just honestly over thinking things?
In my experience, when it comes to the dating world, if a man (or woman for that matter) doesn't want to be in a relationship, they just leave (sometimes gradually, sometimes all at once). It's a bit different when you get to the more complicated stage where say, you've lived together for a few years.
Without knowing your back story, it sounds like you're projecting your own insecurities about yourself onto your relationship. Know that at any weight or other qualifier, you are worthy of love, respect and the level of commitment you're looking for.
I could be projecting, yeah. I just don't want to be naive and believe in unconditional love and all that stuff. And I'm not really commenting on my relationship, I'm just trying to get an idea about the general male population.
No worries! Just trying to give you an honest answer.
I will argue though that there isn't a single train of thought among even the majority of the male population. In the same way that I constantly argue that every woman thinks differently and has different preferences, men completely do too.
I try not to hold what someone of one gender does against their entire gender. It's just not indicative of how everyone's going to act.
That makes sense. I still don't know what my goal weight should be, haha. I guess I'll just keep losing weight and see what looks good to me.
I fixed your comment.
That's sort of what I meant, but I'd also take into account the opinions of people I care about.
I understand where you're coming from to an extent. My SO has always liked "healthy" women, which really seems to mean in his definition women who are 10-20 lbs overweight. So, we have had several chats though out my journey where I was just kinda checkin' in to see how he felt, and make sure he still had that level of attraction. Since we've had so many discussions, I know that he actually would feel comfortable telling me if I hit a point where I've lost enough that it is hurting that attraction. And at that point, it'd be a judgement call for me; if I'm at a healthy weight (which really I'm less than 5lbs off of) and I felt confident with the body I have, then I'd probably switch into maintenance for at least a while to evaluate.
As much as it's my body, his opinion and such matters to me, so I get where you're coming from and encourage you to create that open dialogue!0 -
malavika413 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »MarissaPalm wrote: »
There is so much that is different in the video. For example, to say that men cannot recall when they saw beauty I feel is completely wrong. I am sure I can text a friend a say
"Yo you remember that one girl five years ago?"
him= "the one with the big *kitten*?" Yeah I remember"
But main point of the video was when he talked about It doesn't matter. 100% true unless you with a guy that is tempted to stray.
Yeah, I didn't believe the thing about men not remembering women. That's bull. But I highly doubt it doesn't matter.
So here's the thing that I constantly remind women, as someone who used to be very insecure myself.
HE'S WITH YOU.
The girl he oggled a bit at the mall; did he climb in the car and take her home with him? No, he took you.
The girl he checked out on the beach because her bikini top was a little bit too small for her boobs; did he run up and grab 'em? No (but he'll probably grab yours later if you play your cards right)
To an extent, it's human nature. And if it's something your SO does that bugs you, have a discussion with them about it. My present SO (because i'm bisexual) used to point out other women he found attractive almost in this, 'so like, wanna have a potential three-way' type context and that super offended me, so like an adult, we talked about it and he doesn't do it anymore. I'm just not naive enough to think that means that he isn't still noticing those women (or dreaming of three-ways; I'm just happy I'm still involved with that fantasy in a sense lol).
Unless your SO is turning around and saying, "I wish your *kitten* looked like hers," I think you're probably okay.
Forgive me if I'm asking too many questions, I'm just inexperienced here.
But isn't it sometimes due to laziness? Like, a man would prefer being with someone else but knows they'd either strike out or it's too much effort to pursue another? So they end up settling for someone less-than-ideal--the girl they already have?
If you're ever with someone who makes you feel like they're settling for you, that's a red flag that isn't the relationship for you. But you need to balance that with the idea of, are you just honestly over thinking things?
In my experience, when it comes to the dating world, if a man (or woman for that matter) doesn't want to be in a relationship, they just leave (sometimes gradually, sometimes all at once). It's a bit different when you get to the more complicated stage where say, you've lived together for a few years.
Without knowing your back story, it sounds like you're projecting your own insecurities about yourself onto your relationship. Know that at any weight or other qualifier, you are worthy of love, respect and the level of commitment you're looking for.
I could be projecting, yeah. I just don't want to be naive and believe in unconditional love and all that stuff. And I'm not really commenting on my relationship, I'm just trying to get an idea about the general male population.
No worries! Just trying to give you an honest answer.
I will argue though that there isn't a single train of thought among even the majority of the male population. In the same way that I constantly argue that every woman thinks differently and has different preferences, men completely do too.
I try not to hold what someone of one gender does against their entire gender. It's just not indicative of how everyone's going to act.
That makes sense. I still don't know what my goal weight should be, haha. I guess I'll just keep losing weight and see what looks good to me.
I fixed your comment.
That's sort of what I meant, but I'd also take into account the opinions of people I care about.
Even so it does not matter. What matters is making who you see in the mirror happy. Don't let people you love dictate how you should look. I wish someone would try to with me.
0 -
365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »MarissaPalm wrote: »
There is so much that is different in the video. For example, to say that men cannot recall when they saw beauty I feel is completely wrong. I am sure I can text a friend a say
"Yo you remember that one girl five years ago?"
him= "the one with the big *kitten*?" Yeah I remember"
But main point of the video was when he talked about It doesn't matter. 100% true unless you with a guy that is tempted to stray.
Yeah, I didn't believe the thing about men not remembering women. That's bull. But I highly doubt it doesn't matter.
So here's the thing that I constantly remind women, as someone who used to be very insecure myself.
HE'S WITH YOU.
The girl he oggled a bit at the mall; did he climb in the car and take her home with him? No, he took you.
The girl he checked out on the beach because her bikini top was a little bit too small for her boobs; did he run up and grab 'em? No (but he'll probably grab yours later if you play your cards right)
To an extent, it's human nature. And if it's something your SO does that bugs you, have a discussion with them about it. My present SO (because i'm bisexual) used to point out other women he found attractive almost in this, 'so like, wanna have a potential three-way' type context and that super offended me, so like an adult, we talked about it and he doesn't do it anymore. I'm just not naive enough to think that means that he isn't still noticing those women (or dreaming of three-ways; I'm just happy I'm still involved with that fantasy in a sense lol).
Unless your SO is turning around and saying, "I wish your *kitten* looked like hers," I think you're probably okay.
Forgive me if I'm asking too many questions, I'm just inexperienced here.
But isn't it sometimes due to laziness? Like, a man would prefer being with someone else but knows they'd either strike out or it's too much effort to pursue another? So they end up settling for someone less-than-ideal--the girl they already have?
If you're ever with someone who makes you feel like they're settling for you, that's a red flag that isn't the relationship for you. But you need to balance that with the idea of, are you just honestly over thinking things?
In my experience, when it comes to the dating world, if a man (or woman for that matter) doesn't want to be in a relationship, they just leave (sometimes gradually, sometimes all at once). It's a bit different when you get to the more complicated stage where say, you've lived together for a few years.
Without knowing your back story, it sounds like you're projecting your own insecurities about yourself onto your relationship. Know that at any weight or other qualifier, you are worthy of love, respect and the level of commitment you're looking for.
I could be projecting, yeah. I just don't want to be naive and believe in unconditional love and all that stuff. And I'm not really commenting on my relationship, I'm just trying to get an idea about the general male population.
No worries! Just trying to give you an honest answer.
I will argue though that there isn't a single train of thought among even the majority of the male population. In the same way that I constantly argue that every woman thinks differently and has different preferences, men completely do too.
I try not to hold what someone of one gender does against their entire gender. It's just not indicative of how everyone's going to act.
That makes sense. I still don't know what my goal weight should be, haha. I guess I'll just keep losing weight and see what looks good to me.
I fixed your comment.
That's sort of what I meant, but I'd also take into account the opinions of people I care about.
I understand where you're coming from to an extent. My SO has always liked "healthy" women, which really seems to mean in his definition women who are 10-20 lbs overweight. So, we have had several chats though out my journey where I was just kinda checkin' in to see how he felt, and make sure he still had that level of attraction. Since we've had so many discussions, I know that he actually would feel comfortable telling me if I hit a point where I've lost enough that it is hurting that attraction. And at that point, it'd be a judgement call for me; if I'm at a healthy weight (which really I'm less than 5lbs off of) and I felt confident with the body I have, then I'd probably switch into maintenance for at least a while to evaluate.
As much as it's my body, his opinion and such matters to me, so I get where you're coming from and encourage you to create that open dialogue!
Yeah, my SO claims he likes "curvier" women and that he hasn't noticed my 10 pound fluctuations. I don't know if I believe the latter, and since he's only ever dated me I guess the former is just so he won't hurt my feelings.0 -
malavika413 wrote: »vadersaysno wrote: »
I see the limits more in terms of height rather than weight, because there are so many variations in body type. At 5'3 I'm usually too short for most guys, but a friend of mine at 5'10 is too tall for them.
I'm 5'10 and used to play basketball with guys that were all over 6'2. It really gave me a height complex. I went out with one girl a few times who was 5'0" and it made me feel good because I felt tall (plus she stood on the bed and kissed me eye to eye). That didn't work out because she had a boyfriend. Mainly I've dated girls that have been between 5'3 and 5'5. During my "height complex" years, I went out with a girl who was also 5'10. We went to an event and she wore heels- I was really attracted to her so I got over the height thing really quickly. After that, I actually didn't pay so much attention to a woman's height as a consideration to date or not.0 -
malavika413 wrote: »365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »MarissaPalm wrote: »
There is so much that is different in the video. For example, to say that men cannot recall when they saw beauty I feel is completely wrong. I am sure I can text a friend a say
"Yo you remember that one girl five years ago?"
him= "the one with the big *kitten*?" Yeah I remember"
But main point of the video was when he talked about It doesn't matter. 100% true unless you with a guy that is tempted to stray.
Yeah, I didn't believe the thing about men not remembering women. That's bull. But I highly doubt it doesn't matter.
So here's the thing that I constantly remind women, as someone who used to be very insecure myself.
HE'S WITH YOU.
The girl he oggled a bit at the mall; did he climb in the car and take her home with him? No, he took you.
The girl he checked out on the beach because her bikini top was a little bit too small for her boobs; did he run up and grab 'em? No (but he'll probably grab yours later if you play your cards right)
To an extent, it's human nature. And if it's something your SO does that bugs you, have a discussion with them about it. My present SO (because i'm bisexual) used to point out other women he found attractive almost in this, 'so like, wanna have a potential three-way' type context and that super offended me, so like an adult, we talked about it and he doesn't do it anymore. I'm just not naive enough to think that means that he isn't still noticing those women (or dreaming of three-ways; I'm just happy I'm still involved with that fantasy in a sense lol).
Unless your SO is turning around and saying, "I wish your *kitten* looked like hers," I think you're probably okay.
Forgive me if I'm asking too many questions, I'm just inexperienced here.
But isn't it sometimes due to laziness? Like, a man would prefer being with someone else but knows they'd either strike out or it's too much effort to pursue another? So they end up settling for someone less-than-ideal--the girl they already have?
If you're ever with someone who makes you feel like they're settling for you, that's a red flag that isn't the relationship for you. But you need to balance that with the idea of, are you just honestly over thinking things?
In my experience, when it comes to the dating world, if a man (or woman for that matter) doesn't want to be in a relationship, they just leave (sometimes gradually, sometimes all at once). It's a bit different when you get to the more complicated stage where say, you've lived together for a few years.
Without knowing your back story, it sounds like you're projecting your own insecurities about yourself onto your relationship. Know that at any weight or other qualifier, you are worthy of love, respect and the level of commitment you're looking for.
I could be projecting, yeah. I just don't want to be naive and believe in unconditional love and all that stuff. And I'm not really commenting on my relationship, I'm just trying to get an idea about the general male population.
No worries! Just trying to give you an honest answer.
I will argue though that there isn't a single train of thought among even the majority of the male population. In the same way that I constantly argue that every woman thinks differently and has different preferences, men completely do too.
I try not to hold what someone of one gender does against their entire gender. It's just not indicative of how everyone's going to act.
That makes sense. I still don't know what my goal weight should be, haha. I guess I'll just keep losing weight and see what looks good to me.
I fixed your comment.
That's sort of what I meant, but I'd also take into account the opinions of people I care about.
I understand where you're coming from to an extent. My SO has always liked "healthy" women, which really seems to mean in his definition women who are 10-20 lbs overweight. So, we have had several chats though out my journey where I was just kinda checkin' in to see how he felt, and make sure he still had that level of attraction. Since we've had so many discussions, I know that he actually would feel comfortable telling me if I hit a point where I've lost enough that it is hurting that attraction. And at that point, it'd be a judgement call for me; if I'm at a healthy weight (which really I'm less than 5lbs off of) and I felt confident with the body I have, then I'd probably switch into maintenance for at least a while to evaluate.
As much as it's my body, his opinion and such matters to me, so I get where you're coming from and encourage you to create that open dialogue!
Yeah, my SO claims he likes "curvier" women and that he hasn't noticed my 10 pound fluctuations. I don't know if I believe the latter, and since he's only ever dated me I guess the former is just so he won't hurt my feelings.
I like bigger women. I knew this before I dated any girls. It seems you just have a tough time accepting the fact that your SO is attracted to you. Why is that? He likes you for you or like the other poster said he would leave if he didn't.
0 -
malavika413 wrote: »365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »MarissaPalm wrote: »
There is so much that is different in the video. For example, to say that men cannot recall when they saw beauty I feel is completely wrong. I am sure I can text a friend a say
"Yo you remember that one girl five years ago?"
him= "the one with the big *kitten*?" Yeah I remember"
But main point of the video was when he talked about It doesn't matter. 100% true unless you with a guy that is tempted to stray.
Yeah, I didn't believe the thing about men not remembering women. That's bull. But I highly doubt it doesn't matter.
So here's the thing that I constantly remind women, as someone who used to be very insecure myself.
HE'S WITH YOU.
The girl he oggled a bit at the mall; did he climb in the car and take her home with him? No, he took you.
The girl he checked out on the beach because her bikini top was a little bit too small for her boobs; did he run up and grab 'em? No (but he'll probably grab yours later if you play your cards right)
To an extent, it's human nature. And if it's something your SO does that bugs you, have a discussion with them about it. My present SO (because i'm bisexual) used to point out other women he found attractive almost in this, 'so like, wanna have a potential three-way' type context and that super offended me, so like an adult, we talked about it and he doesn't do it anymore. I'm just not naive enough to think that means that he isn't still noticing those women (or dreaming of three-ways; I'm just happy I'm still involved with that fantasy in a sense lol).
Unless your SO is turning around and saying, "I wish your *kitten* looked like hers," I think you're probably okay.
Forgive me if I'm asking too many questions, I'm just inexperienced here.
But isn't it sometimes due to laziness? Like, a man would prefer being with someone else but knows they'd either strike out or it's too much effort to pursue another? So they end up settling for someone less-than-ideal--the girl they already have?
If you're ever with someone who makes you feel like they're settling for you, that's a red flag that isn't the relationship for you. But you need to balance that with the idea of, are you just honestly over thinking things?
In my experience, when it comes to the dating world, if a man (or woman for that matter) doesn't want to be in a relationship, they just leave (sometimes gradually, sometimes all at once). It's a bit different when you get to the more complicated stage where say, you've lived together for a few years.
Without knowing your back story, it sounds like you're projecting your own insecurities about yourself onto your relationship. Know that at any weight or other qualifier, you are worthy of love, respect and the level of commitment you're looking for.
I could be projecting, yeah. I just don't want to be naive and believe in unconditional love and all that stuff. And I'm not really commenting on my relationship, I'm just trying to get an idea about the general male population.
No worries! Just trying to give you an honest answer.
I will argue though that there isn't a single train of thought among even the majority of the male population. In the same way that I constantly argue that every woman thinks differently and has different preferences, men completely do too.
I try not to hold what someone of one gender does against their entire gender. It's just not indicative of how everyone's going to act.
That makes sense. I still don't know what my goal weight should be, haha. I guess I'll just keep losing weight and see what looks good to me.
I fixed your comment.
That's sort of what I meant, but I'd also take into account the opinions of people I care about.
I understand where you're coming from to an extent. My SO has always liked "healthy" women, which really seems to mean in his definition women who are 10-20 lbs overweight. So, we have had several chats though out my journey where I was just kinda checkin' in to see how he felt, and make sure he still had that level of attraction. Since we've had so many discussions, I know that he actually would feel comfortable telling me if I hit a point where I've lost enough that it is hurting that attraction. And at that point, it'd be a judgement call for me; if I'm at a healthy weight (which really I'm less than 5lbs off of) and I felt confident with the body I have, then I'd probably switch into maintenance for at least a while to evaluate.
As much as it's my body, his opinion and such matters to me, so I get where you're coming from and encourage you to create that open dialogue!
Yeah, my SO claims he likes "curvier" women and that he hasn't noticed my 10 pound fluctuations. I don't know if I believe the latter, and since he's only ever dated me I guess the former is just so he won't hurt my feelings.
Honestly, he probably hasn't noticed. I lost like 25lbs before my boyfriend clued in that anything was going on. We live together; he sees me naked on a nearly daily if not daily basis. I was baffled; then my dad didn't notice, and neither did my brothers, and my male best friend who hadn't seen me in two years didn't even comment but EVERY SINGLE ONE of my female friends did.0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »365andstillalive wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »MarissaPalm wrote: »
There is so much that is different in the video. For example, to say that men cannot recall when they saw beauty I feel is completely wrong. I am sure I can text a friend a say
"Yo you remember that one girl five years ago?"
him= "the one with the big *kitten*?" Yeah I remember"
But main point of the video was when he talked about It doesn't matter. 100% true unless you with a guy that is tempted to stray.
Yeah, I didn't believe the thing about men not remembering women. That's bull. But I highly doubt it doesn't matter.
So here's the thing that I constantly remind women, as someone who used to be very insecure myself.
HE'S WITH YOU.
The girl he oggled a bit at the mall; did he climb in the car and take her home with him? No, he took you.
The girl he checked out on the beach because her bikini top was a little bit too small for her boobs; did he run up and grab 'em? No (but he'll probably grab yours later if you play your cards right)
To an extent, it's human nature. And if it's something your SO does that bugs you, have a discussion with them about it. My present SO (because i'm bisexual) used to point out other women he found attractive almost in this, 'so like, wanna have a potential three-way' type context and that super offended me, so like an adult, we talked about it and he doesn't do it anymore. I'm just not naive enough to think that means that he isn't still noticing those women (or dreaming of three-ways; I'm just happy I'm still involved with that fantasy in a sense lol).
Unless your SO is turning around and saying, "I wish your *kitten* looked like hers," I think you're probably okay.
Forgive me if I'm asking too many questions, I'm just inexperienced here.
But isn't it sometimes due to laziness? Like, a man would prefer being with someone else but knows they'd either strike out or it's too much effort to pursue another? So they end up settling for someone less-than-ideal--the girl they already have?
If you're ever with someone who makes you feel like they're settling for you, that's a red flag that isn't the relationship for you. But you need to balance that with the idea of, are you just honestly over thinking things?
In my experience, when it comes to the dating world, if a man (or woman for that matter) doesn't want to be in a relationship, they just leave (sometimes gradually, sometimes all at once). It's a bit different when you get to the more complicated stage where say, you've lived together for a few years.
Without knowing your back story, it sounds like you're projecting your own insecurities about yourself onto your relationship. Know that at any weight or other qualifier, you are worthy of love, respect and the level of commitment you're looking for.
I could be projecting, yeah. I just don't want to be naive and believe in unconditional love and all that stuff. And I'm not really commenting on my relationship, I'm just trying to get an idea about the general male population.
No worries! Just trying to give you an honest answer.
I will argue though that there isn't a single train of thought among even the majority of the male population. In the same way that I constantly argue that every woman thinks differently and has different preferences, men completely do too.
I try not to hold what someone of one gender does against their entire gender. It's just not indicative of how everyone's going to act.
That makes sense. I still don't know what my goal weight should be, haha. I guess I'll just keep losing weight and see what looks good to me.
I fixed your comment.
That's sort of what I meant, but I'd also take into account the opinions of people I care about.
I understand where you're coming from to an extent. My SO has always liked "healthy" women, which really seems to mean in his definition women who are 10-20 lbs overweight. So, we have had several chats though out my journey where I was just kinda checkin' in to see how he felt, and make sure he still had that level of attraction. Since we've had so many discussions, I know that he actually would feel comfortable telling me if I hit a point where I've lost enough that it is hurting that attraction. And at that point, it'd be a judgement call for me; if I'm at a healthy weight (which really I'm less than 5lbs off of) and I felt confident with the body I have, then I'd probably switch into maintenance for at least a while to evaluate.
As much as it's my body, his opinion and such matters to me, so I get where you're coming from and encourage you to create that open dialogue!
Yeah, my SO claims he likes "curvier" women and that he hasn't noticed my 10 pound fluctuations. I don't know if I believe the latter, and since he's only ever dated me I guess the former is just so he won't hurt my feelings.
I like bigger women. I knew this before I dated any girls. It seems you just have a tough time accepting the fact that your SO is attracted to you. Why is that? He likes you for you or like the other poster said he would leave if he didn't.
Eh, I don't know. First guy I've ever dated that took me seriously and treated me well, I guess, so I tend to overanalyze.0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlZsGpWJmos
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