Drugs & divorce to happy & healthy-a weight lifting story
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ali_b83
Posts: 324 Member
Alright, for those of you that, like me, are impatient and scroll past the story, here’s some pictures to get you started. June 9 2012, and June 2013.
Now, if that somewhat gets your attention, thanks! In honor of my one year on MFP, I decided I might as well post a story, if for no other reason, to let my friends here know me better, as they have become a second family to me. So here’s my yearly stats, from June 2012-June2013
5’7”
235lb to 183lb
(I wish I could tell you the body fat reduction)
Inches lost = waist: -8
hips: -11
chest: -6
thighs: -4.5 (each)
I have dealt with weight since I was a kid. Jenny Craig at 8 years old, eating disorders, obesity, “skinny fat”... I have a lifetime of experience.
With my first pregnancy at 19, I went from around 165lbs (which sounds big, but for me was not, as the size small shirts from then prove) all the way to 221lbs. I can actually hear myself now saying to a friend while pregnant “Eh, I’ll eat whatever I want now, and just crash diet afterwards.” Ah, youth and ignorance, right? After about two years, Atkins, and 3 times a week of treadmill and elliptical for about an hour and a half, I eventually reached 145lbs. The smallest I can ever remember being. The funny part of it is, even at that weight, I was a size 13/14, because I rarely picked up a weight (let alone one heavier than five pounds).
Around 220 at my first wedding. I was only 20, believe it or not. As you can see, my arms are not my friends.
After losing weight, around 145, 150lbs. The smallest I’ve ever been, but totally “skinny fat”, with no noticeable muscle tone.
Life was great at that weight, and I vowed never to go back to where I had come from ever again. Then a couple of years later, stress of nursing school had made me slack enough to go back up to 185lb. I also wanted to try for a second baby at that time, so figuring “What the hell, I’m already fat”, I got pregnant with my oldest son. After that, I would go up, then down a little, etc. I was probably consistently between 190-200lbs. Then life got bad, and then worse, until 2009 rolled around, when things began to spiral downward.
**Here’s a condensed version (I tried to keep it short, I swear) of my life in the past three years, how I ended up like that, I why I am finally, REALLY never going to go back there.**
3 years ago-
Was finishing up school, had two small children, and lived the most chaotic, unpredictable, unhappy life that I could ever have imagined. My husband of 7 years was out of work and suffering from inexplicable symptoms like passing out in random places, forgetting everything, etc (That’s a story in and of itself, believe me). So in addition to everything else, I became a caretaker, going from doctor to doctor, hoping to find an explanation, every possibility from brain tumors to heavy metal poisoning. It was a horrible, stressful year, and the only way I made it through was by completely shutting down any emotions I had, surviving on pain pills (I was in two very bad car accidents as a teenager, and had suffered from back pain since I was 15 as a result), antidepressants, and Adderall, and getting three hours of sleep a day if I was lucky. It was a horrible existence and marriage, but I had been with him my whole adult life, and he made it very clear that he would not make leaving him easy.
We ate if we had time (fast food probably 4 times a week), and I was in constant pain. Stress/life was causing my hair to fall out and to be sick all the time. I had lost any sense of myself I had ever had. I really was a shell at that point, with barely any memory of who I had once been, or wanted to become.
Long story short, he was not sick in the literal sense, but was a raging drug addict/pathological liar. Out of fear for our lives, I left with the kids, and divorced him, and was now on about 4 medications to deal with my severe PTSD/anxiety/depression.
(2008-2010. I like to refer to these pictures as “What in the hell was I doing with my hair?!”. No, not pregnant in that purple shirt, btw.)
The story gets really involved here. I was ordered back to Idaho with the kids (where I had no job and we slept on air mattresses for the first month or so in my tiny apartment.). Cops were called, orders of protection were granted, he almost died, and then finally entered detox.
(Luckily, my ex got his crap together eventually, and is now sober and re-married. Shortly after my divorce, I met my current husband, who is responsible for much of my success. He researches nutrition and exercise with me, works out with me, encourages me, and introduces me to new foods. He is single-handedly the reason I eat vegetables now
He also does the most important thing, which is compliment me almost every day, and tells me how proud he is of me.)
2 years ago-
I was now re-married, had bought a house, and life was wonderful. As far as personality goes, I was finally feeling like myself once again. I laughed and smiled again. Life was happy and predictable. However, as many of us do, contentment led to big meals and baking, and as my graphic designer husband decided to enter culinary school, food became a hobby for us. I was gaining weight, but I guess I was just so happy to have a “safe” life for the first time in so long, that I chose to ignore it. I was so glad to not be worrying about things every minute of the day that last thing I wanted to do was allow myself to be upset about my weight.
(Really not cute, and apparently being fat makes my neck disappear)
1 year ago-
2 months after the birth of my youngest son. I had a very healthy pregnancy, with my husband feeding my well (healthy). I only gained 8 pounds the entire pregnancy. However I had weighed so much when I became pregnant, that weighed in at 248 before his birth.
So, two months after his birth, at 235lbs, and suffering from newborn-induced sleep deprivation, I decided that I had to do something. Not TRY, but genuinely do it. I was either going to keep gaining weight, or change things. I don’t know what was different this time, but I just knew that I was going to do it. There was no doubt in my mind. So I researched some bodybuilding.com programs, and settled on Jamie Eason’s. Then I took the best advice I had never gotten, from her program, and my husband- knock it off with the chronic cardio, and lift weights.
So I reluctantly stepped away from the treadmill and elliptical, and instead started doing things like bench pressing and squats. I started where I could, which at times was only 5lbs and the Smith Machine (heckle me later if you must). Then I worked up to larger weights, squats with the bar and plates, deadlifts, etc. Then I moved on to Stronglifts for a while before aggrivating my back injury (I really hope someday to be able to do deadlifts again without pain.)
Holy crap, it worked! I finally found some exercise that I enjoyed. I didn’t dread going to the gym, and didn’t treat exercise as a punishment or magic eraser for bad food choices. Best of all, weight didn’t really matter anymore, because weight lifting was transforming my body in a way that losing pounds never had.
(Here begins the series of “I want to take a cute gym/self picture, but seriously suck at it.”)
For the first few months I went to the gym 5-6 days a week, getting up at 7:30 in the morning, despite having a newborn. Yeah, I was that motivated (I’m actually shocked I was able to do so, as I am quite a fan of sleeping). Once school started and I had very little time for the gym, exercise was put on the back burner. During this time, a very wise MFP friend told me to focus on nutrition. So I did. Funny enough, once I stopped over-analyzing my calories and trying to make everything so complicated, I began to lose the most weight/body fat. Around Christmas I got very lazy with my nutrition. Gained a little, felt like crap (physically), and got back on the wagon with total dedication.
I won’t go into lengthy details on the nutrition (if you are interested, feel free to ask). Basically, I experimented until I found what my body likes. For me, that is absolutely nothing that comes out of a box, and cheese is as close to packaged food as my menu comes. I learned I binge in the mornings when I’m sleepy, so I ditched breakfast. I threw gluten out of my life and discovered I’m actually very intolerant to it. Now I very rarely suffer from back pain (other than if I accidentally eat gluten, and then it is obvious very quickly), migraines, or chronic fatigue.
(Eating this all the time will make you fat)
(Now I eat like this)
I never lost weight in huge numbers like many people do. It’s taken me a year to do what some can do in three months. I think I’m okay with that though. I’ve learned to be patient (pretty amazing feat from a fan of instant-gratification), and realize that it doesn’t matter how long it takes to get there, as long as I keep moving forward.
Since the beginning of the year, I have been working out at home with my husband. The kids go to bed, and we lift weights. We mix it up with different routines (currently we are liking tabata, because it is so hard, yet so quick). I don’t do cardio, unless it’s in a weight-lifting capacity, or an activity that I enjoy (hiking, boxing, embarrassing myself with Dance Central, etc.) Would I have lost more weight with running? Maybe. Would I absolutely loathe every minute of it? Absolutely. I’m not willing to do things that make me miserable anymore. I want to do activities that I enjoy, so that I will continue to do them long after I reach my goal weight/body.
...and now for some more recent, narcissistic pictures
April 2013
(I still hate my arms, but they’re getting there)
My partner in crime, BFF, and inspiration for my username
During this past year I have had a baby, gone to school, moved across country, and dealt with many stressors. I never turned to food like I used to. I stopped using food to keep my distracted when I was sleepy or bored.
I won’t be “done” anytime soon, and I don’t want to be. I want to continue to have more goals (biceps, abs, heavy weight, new activities, etc,). I’m genuinely proud of myself. I didn’t just gain the ability to fit into smaller clothes. My entire life is better now. I’m healthy, my pain is gone, and I starting to have the freedom to do things I couldn’t when I was obese.
Obviously my story is about more than weight loss, but I just wanted to share that anyone can get out of a bad situation and have the life they want, if you’re willing to do things that terrify you at times.
Thanks to all my wonderful friends on here, because I really wouldn’t be where I am today without you *smooches and hugs* :flowerforyou:
(Edited because apparently resizing my pics isn't happening. Sorry!)
Now, if that somewhat gets your attention, thanks! In honor of my one year on MFP, I decided I might as well post a story, if for no other reason, to let my friends here know me better, as they have become a second family to me. So here’s my yearly stats, from June 2012-June2013
5’7”
235lb to 183lb
(I wish I could tell you the body fat reduction)
Inches lost = waist: -8
hips: -11
chest: -6
thighs: -4.5 (each)
I have dealt with weight since I was a kid. Jenny Craig at 8 years old, eating disorders, obesity, “skinny fat”... I have a lifetime of experience.
With my first pregnancy at 19, I went from around 165lbs (which sounds big, but for me was not, as the size small shirts from then prove) all the way to 221lbs. I can actually hear myself now saying to a friend while pregnant “Eh, I’ll eat whatever I want now, and just crash diet afterwards.” Ah, youth and ignorance, right? After about two years, Atkins, and 3 times a week of treadmill and elliptical for about an hour and a half, I eventually reached 145lbs. The smallest I can ever remember being. The funny part of it is, even at that weight, I was a size 13/14, because I rarely picked up a weight (let alone one heavier than five pounds).
Around 220 at my first wedding. I was only 20, believe it or not. As you can see, my arms are not my friends.
After losing weight, around 145, 150lbs. The smallest I’ve ever been, but totally “skinny fat”, with no noticeable muscle tone.
Life was great at that weight, and I vowed never to go back to where I had come from ever again. Then a couple of years later, stress of nursing school had made me slack enough to go back up to 185lb. I also wanted to try for a second baby at that time, so figuring “What the hell, I’m already fat”, I got pregnant with my oldest son. After that, I would go up, then down a little, etc. I was probably consistently between 190-200lbs. Then life got bad, and then worse, until 2009 rolled around, when things began to spiral downward.
**Here’s a condensed version (I tried to keep it short, I swear) of my life in the past three years, how I ended up like that, I why I am finally, REALLY never going to go back there.**
3 years ago-
Was finishing up school, had two small children, and lived the most chaotic, unpredictable, unhappy life that I could ever have imagined. My husband of 7 years was out of work and suffering from inexplicable symptoms like passing out in random places, forgetting everything, etc (That’s a story in and of itself, believe me). So in addition to everything else, I became a caretaker, going from doctor to doctor, hoping to find an explanation, every possibility from brain tumors to heavy metal poisoning. It was a horrible, stressful year, and the only way I made it through was by completely shutting down any emotions I had, surviving on pain pills (I was in two very bad car accidents as a teenager, and had suffered from back pain since I was 15 as a result), antidepressants, and Adderall, and getting three hours of sleep a day if I was lucky. It was a horrible existence and marriage, but I had been with him my whole adult life, and he made it very clear that he would not make leaving him easy.
We ate if we had time (fast food probably 4 times a week), and I was in constant pain. Stress/life was causing my hair to fall out and to be sick all the time. I had lost any sense of myself I had ever had. I really was a shell at that point, with barely any memory of who I had once been, or wanted to become.
Long story short, he was not sick in the literal sense, but was a raging drug addict/pathological liar. Out of fear for our lives, I left with the kids, and divorced him, and was now on about 4 medications to deal with my severe PTSD/anxiety/depression.
(2008-2010. I like to refer to these pictures as “What in the hell was I doing with my hair?!”. No, not pregnant in that purple shirt, btw.)
The story gets really involved here. I was ordered back to Idaho with the kids (where I had no job and we slept on air mattresses for the first month or so in my tiny apartment.). Cops were called, orders of protection were granted, he almost died, and then finally entered detox.
(Luckily, my ex got his crap together eventually, and is now sober and re-married. Shortly after my divorce, I met my current husband, who is responsible for much of my success. He researches nutrition and exercise with me, works out with me, encourages me, and introduces me to new foods. He is single-handedly the reason I eat vegetables now
He also does the most important thing, which is compliment me almost every day, and tells me how proud he is of me.)2 years ago-
I was now re-married, had bought a house, and life was wonderful. As far as personality goes, I was finally feeling like myself once again. I laughed and smiled again. Life was happy and predictable. However, as many of us do, contentment led to big meals and baking, and as my graphic designer husband decided to enter culinary school, food became a hobby for us. I was gaining weight, but I guess I was just so happy to have a “safe” life for the first time in so long, that I chose to ignore it. I was so glad to not be worrying about things every minute of the day that last thing I wanted to do was allow myself to be upset about my weight.
(Really not cute, and apparently being fat makes my neck disappear)
1 year ago-
2 months after the birth of my youngest son. I had a very healthy pregnancy, with my husband feeding my well (healthy). I only gained 8 pounds the entire pregnancy. However I had weighed so much when I became pregnant, that weighed in at 248 before his birth.
So, two months after his birth, at 235lbs, and suffering from newborn-induced sleep deprivation, I decided that I had to do something. Not TRY, but genuinely do it. I was either going to keep gaining weight, or change things. I don’t know what was different this time, but I just knew that I was going to do it. There was no doubt in my mind. So I researched some bodybuilding.com programs, and settled on Jamie Eason’s. Then I took the best advice I had never gotten, from her program, and my husband- knock it off with the chronic cardio, and lift weights.
So I reluctantly stepped away from the treadmill and elliptical, and instead started doing things like bench pressing and squats. I started where I could, which at times was only 5lbs and the Smith Machine (heckle me later if you must). Then I worked up to larger weights, squats with the bar and plates, deadlifts, etc. Then I moved on to Stronglifts for a while before aggrivating my back injury (I really hope someday to be able to do deadlifts again without pain.)
Holy crap, it worked! I finally found some exercise that I enjoyed. I didn’t dread going to the gym, and didn’t treat exercise as a punishment or magic eraser for bad food choices. Best of all, weight didn’t really matter anymore, because weight lifting was transforming my body in a way that losing pounds never had.
(Here begins the series of “I want to take a cute gym/self picture, but seriously suck at it.”)
For the first few months I went to the gym 5-6 days a week, getting up at 7:30 in the morning, despite having a newborn. Yeah, I was that motivated (I’m actually shocked I was able to do so, as I am quite a fan of sleeping). Once school started and I had very little time for the gym, exercise was put on the back burner. During this time, a very wise MFP friend told me to focus on nutrition. So I did. Funny enough, once I stopped over-analyzing my calories and trying to make everything so complicated, I began to lose the most weight/body fat. Around Christmas I got very lazy with my nutrition. Gained a little, felt like crap (physically), and got back on the wagon with total dedication.
I won’t go into lengthy details on the nutrition (if you are interested, feel free to ask). Basically, I experimented until I found what my body likes. For me, that is absolutely nothing that comes out of a box, and cheese is as close to packaged food as my menu comes. I learned I binge in the mornings when I’m sleepy, so I ditched breakfast. I threw gluten out of my life and discovered I’m actually very intolerant to it. Now I very rarely suffer from back pain (other than if I accidentally eat gluten, and then it is obvious very quickly), migraines, or chronic fatigue.
(Eating this all the time will make you fat)
(Now I eat like this)
I never lost weight in huge numbers like many people do. It’s taken me a year to do what some can do in three months. I think I’m okay with that though. I’ve learned to be patient (pretty amazing feat from a fan of instant-gratification), and realize that it doesn’t matter how long it takes to get there, as long as I keep moving forward.
Since the beginning of the year, I have been working out at home with my husband. The kids go to bed, and we lift weights. We mix it up with different routines (currently we are liking tabata, because it is so hard, yet so quick). I don’t do cardio, unless it’s in a weight-lifting capacity, or an activity that I enjoy (hiking, boxing, embarrassing myself with Dance Central, etc.) Would I have lost more weight with running? Maybe. Would I absolutely loathe every minute of it? Absolutely. I’m not willing to do things that make me miserable anymore. I want to do activities that I enjoy, so that I will continue to do them long after I reach my goal weight/body.
...and now for some more recent, narcissistic pictures
April 2013
(I still hate my arms, but they’re getting there)
My partner in crime, BFF, and inspiration for my username
During this past year I have had a baby, gone to school, moved across country, and dealt with many stressors. I never turned to food like I used to. I stopped using food to keep my distracted when I was sleepy or bored.
I won’t be “done” anytime soon, and I don’t want to be. I want to continue to have more goals (biceps, abs, heavy weight, new activities, etc,). I’m genuinely proud of myself. I didn’t just gain the ability to fit into smaller clothes. My entire life is better now. I’m healthy, my pain is gone, and I starting to have the freedom to do things I couldn’t when I was obese.
Obviously my story is about more than weight loss, but I just wanted to share that anyone can get out of a bad situation and have the life they want, if you’re willing to do things that terrify you at times.
Thanks to all my wonderful friends on here, because I really wouldn’t be where I am today without you *smooches and hugs* :flowerforyou:
(Edited because apparently resizing my pics isn't happening. Sorry!)
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Replies
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Thanks so much for sharing your story. I'm really happy to have you as a friend. I could learn so much from you and look forward to our journey together on MFP. I always am blown away with how gorgeous you look! Keep up the great work :drinker:0
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Awesome story! But must say, LOVE the sleave!0
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Brilliant! Soo inspiring Cheers to you and your husband. 0
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You are absolutely gorgeous!
You've gone through so much, but it looks like it's made you better, enjoy your happiness.0 -
Wow Lady!!! you're so inspirational! Great job at your progress and all other life stuffs too!
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This post is one of the few i've ever read (like you said, some of us tend to skip to pictures). I must say, you are really inspirational to have gone through so much and here you are looking fit and healthy for yourself. I too used to be in hellish relationships and taking too much pain meds for my back and suffering severe depression. Since changing to a healthy lifestyle, it's amazing to see those two things at least disappear on their own.
You say your arms are still not where you would like them but hell girl, that is a huge change from previously!! You know how hard fat is to get off your arms but you still got almost all of it there. Good luck and seriously, you're an inspiration.0 -
awe some story! wow! i'm going from laughing to crying. what an inspiration.
the funny thing is that you are looking younger and younger as i'm scrolling down, even though - hey, you're actually getting older AND having children along the way - one would think you would look older!
and i love the arm photo - gives me hope that my arms will someday look better than they look today.
give your husband a great big hug - he sounds like an amazing guy. it's so nice to read about a true supportive spouse.0 -
Awesome story of victory, thanx so much for sharing. You should be tremendously proud of your accomplishments :flowerforyou: :happy: :glasses:0
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Very inspiring, thanks for sharing 0
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Thanks for sharing your story!!!
You look amazing :flowerforyou:0 -
Amazing! 0
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We come from a similar walk of struggle. You are simply amazing sister...wow.0
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You are an extraordinarily amazing young woman, and quite beautiful You have beat incredible odds. When your children are older, I hope you share your story with them.0
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This was an amazing read!!! Congratulations with your success so far, and good luck with the rest of your journey (hell, maybe you'll have to fight an orc or two)! Always wonderful to hear about someone else losing by lifting.0
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wow quite the story and inspiration! You look amazing and so happy now.
The outcome has been worth the journey0 -
This is one of the greatest journeys I've had the pleasure to read about on MFP. Thank you for sharing and inspiring! I wish you continued success and happiness and hotness!! :-)0
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You look amazing 0
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I usually skip to the pictures but read yours through, amazing story and so pleased you turned your life around for the better 0
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Great story and congrats!!! Thank you for sharing!0
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Wow! Such an inspiration and thanks so much for sharing your story!!! You really have encouraged me to continue lifting weights and fitness journey!!0
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