im sad,need to vent

mommared53

butterfly2008, you've come to the right place for help and support as you've seen reading these posts. Any time you need to vent or just for any reason, you feel free to post on MFP. The people that use this website are the best. Good luck to you.

natashav, please consider everything the other posters have written. If you need to continually re-read everything then do so. My daughter was in a verbally abusive relationship and it broke my heart when I finally saw what she had become because of it. She just seemed like she had been physically beaten down. We lived in different states at the time, that's why I didn't see it developing ahead of time. She was such a strong and independant young woman who I never in my life would have believed would be in that situation. Fortunately she is no longer with the man who treated her so badly and has since married a wonderful Christian man who treats her with the utmost respect that she deserves. Please don't waste your time with a man who would talk so disrespectfully to you. You deserve so much better. Good luck to you and may God bless you.

Phatmomma

You know, there is someone reading this who wishes they could get to a 28. You can be and feel BEAUTIFUL at any size, because you are. We all are. Even the dudes Your hubby loves you and think you are hot stuff either way. So what that gives you is the FREEDOM of comfort. You don't have to feel ashamed if you do your crunches grunts and groans galoure-while you watch CSI or whatever show you like. Sitting on the couch are you? Hmm now lift your legs 10 reps each for a set of 3. Sitting on the couch doing nothing? Hmmm lift your arms above your head and 3 sets of 10 reps. You can squeeze your butt cheeks:blushing: and work on your glutes. There is so much you can do just sitting down. And next thing you know you aren't doing NOTHING but instead doing SOMETHING and feeling good. The day isn't over yet and you can turn it around. Also I think it is important to say that depression can actually be caused because our hormones are so out of whack when you are obese or morbidly obese. It's what causes the thin hair in obese women and it's what causes the crappy hair growth where it shouldn't be too. Wanna feel better? Turn the day around. you can do it. Even if you turn on some slow jams and grab your honey and dance for an hour.

bonkers5975

My hubby is one who loves me unconditionally and I cherish him for it. However, he finally GOT IT when I said to him a couple of weeks ago, "You're going to outlive me." He's 16 years older than I am.

I think that truly frightened him, and he's been great.

As for myself, I would not put up with a man who did not respect me. I give respect, and I expect no less in return.

For the author of this thread, I know the dumps, and I know them well! Pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and say, this is the first day of the rest of my life! How cliche is that??!! :bigsmile:

charny164

i feel like that alot too and my bf likes to call me fat all the time, but i just keep my chin up and tell myself im gonna loose the weight and then i work out. i used to be really lazy but since i started working out i feel good about myself even when someone is putting me down.

I know your probably to young to understand this, but I am going to try to help you to understand that your boy friend is verbally abusing you. It doesn't take someone hitting you with their fists to be called abuse. Like the gentleman told you before me, this boyfriend of yours is a looser and he will try to make a looser out of you to drag him down to his level and make you feel beaten down so he has the control of you and then you don't think you deserve better. You put your chin up young lady and get yourself a winner, I am old enough to know that if you were to marry this guy he will only continue, you can't change him and he will be that way to your children. You are a very beautiful girl with a loving spirit , if you stay with him , someday you won't be able to hold your chin up. You have the power to make your own destiny and it should be full of love and friendship , kind and loving words as God intended for you. Lose the weight and Lose the Looser You'll feel much lighter. You can mail me if you want, any time. Didn't that sound nice for that gentleman to tell you how beautiful you are. Well you should hear that everyday. Because you are!!!

I have a couple of comments to add as well. You know your bf better than anyone on here. I would agree that him calling you fat is verbally abusive but..... is he saying it to be mean or does he think it gives you the motivation you need. I mean really, no one ever wants to be called fat ever. It really doesn't matter if he is trying to (in his mind) help you or put you down. It just makes you feel worse and sabotoges your efforts AND your relationship.

I just hope that everyone remembers its about a healthy lifestyle so that you can be active and comfortable in your own skin. Whether its 200lbs or 5lbs to lose. Do it for you and no one else. A size 26 is a number - the same as a size 6 is a number. It doesn't matter. Please don't ever put yourself down because your overweight or not the size you think you should be - and don't let anyone else do that to you either. You are worth more than that. If your spouse or bf/gf loves you for who you are, it makes the battle for health that much easier because they will support you win or lose.

GravyGurl

i feel like that alot too and my bf likes to call me fat all the time, but i just keep my chin up and tell myself im gonna loose the weight and then i work out. i used to be really lazy but since i started working out i feel good about myself even when someone is putting me down.

Sorry to go off topic but things like that upset me. Never let what anyone says to you about how you look affect how you think about yourself. It is what you think that is most important. I have been a large woman all my life. I'm not losing weight because I wanna look good for someone else, I'm losing weight because of the health history in my family and I want to be around for my sons longer.

Remember this...

"Those who matter don't mind and those who mind, don't matter."

bobbysr1

:flowerforyou: I would like to thank you all myfitnesspals for the help you have given me.
So tell the one you love how you feel and ask them for there help because I have and my kids help me all the time. I wish to thank myfitnesspal for the updates.

elliott062907

im only 28 and i am fat . i have been with my husband for 14 years we have grown together in size among other things. i love him to bits but he just dosent get my struggle he has not gained as much as me but he seems to like my size! i love him for that unconditional love but it makes him hard to talk to about my feelings ,i go bac and forth today was a horrible day i felt fat and nasty all day and oddly enough those are the days i eat more but according to the calculator i went over by 180 calories and i thought it would be way more than that.i didnt do anything today though but sit on the couch and feel sorry for myself. i just need to know there are ppl out there who do understand i dont wanna be a model i just want to be able to buy clothes that "Omar the tent maker "didn't have to sew you know

So glad you are here, we laugh, cry, joke on here and it is all great.
Know what I did to get started after my divorce and all?
I went for a walk, yep a simple 20-30 minute walk.
Then it felt so god, I started walking to wash the blues away almost every day.
Then after I lost about 10lbs just by walking, I started slowing down on my eating.
Then after a few weeks of that, I could bend over and tie my shoes with out gasping for air.
See the pattern??? Sweetie, do it for you!!!!!!! You will be soooo surprised how good it feels.

Yes, it is hard, yes you will have downers in your face and yes, you will want that pizza.
But ya know what? It's ok!!!! You can do this and we can help.

Just start changing the way you think. Train you brain.
Tell yourself, gee I look great!!!! and I can do this.
When you believe in your self, nothing else matters.

Then after you start all this, make it a habbit of just incorporating the movement and healthier eating to the hubby.

Make a feew nights a week date night. Go for walks and just talk about things.
Nature trails, take your camera. I'm telling ya, it works.

My new hubby can eat and eat and never gain a lb. He can diet for a week and drop 15lbs, no kidding, that's just his metabolism!!! He has started walking with me a few nights a week and it really helps!!!!!


We are all in this together......