Anxious about dinner

bluepenguin1

Just hoping for not advice necessarily but to bounce things off everyone here. I’m feeling really anxious because one of my closest friends has invited me and my mum (who is visiting me) over to dinner tonight (impromptu – we were supposed to go out to a restaurant where I know how many calories (at least roughly) are in the meal I was going to order). I don’t know what she is cooking but she asked me to buy pine nuts – so I think probably oily spaghetti. This could be a major calorie blow out. She is of the opinion I don’t need to lose weight and I don’t feel comfortable imposing my calorie requirements on her. I know logically I can just eat less than I normally would and do a little more exercise but I know for a fact this will be commented on and as it’s a special occasion (her birthday and engagement) I don’t want to make a fuss. However, I'm getting quite stressed about going over my cals for the day (she will probably have made dessert too).

I know it’s just one day but I only have 3 weeks until a huge family reunion / wedding where all my cousins who are coming are a size 0 – 2 and I’ve been trying really hard to lose weight ahead of that so I can be a bit confident (I am well more than that at a 8 – 10). I also have a dinner on Wednesday night at a place that has almost nothing low cal – so had budgeted that to be a maintenance day for the week. I feel like it’s all a bit out of control and I'm upset because instead of looking forward to celebrating with my friend I am anxious about what I am going to have to eat.

Sued0nim

Can you ask her what's she's making

Offer to bring a nice accompaniment or pudding

if you take a lovely mixed salad you could eat a load of that and a little of what she's making

also get some extra exercise in today - have you saved any calories for today? you could cut back a couple of hundred over the next week and have an extra 1400 to use tonight

most of all - relax and enjoy it - it's one night it's not going to affect anything

MelodyandBarbells

Eat what you want at the event. If they comment, smile and nod

As for wanting to lose weight because of your 0-2 friends - there'll always be someone out there bigger or smaller than you. Take a deep breath and consider what the events truly are - a chance to live, enjoy, and show your appreciation for life. Don't overthink it, and try to figure out how your eating can support and meld with your lifestyle, because ultimately, it's all about you

RodaRose

Pine nuts in a spaghetti could be with a tomato sauce. At any rate, check with her before you get worked up. Let her know that you want to bring a veggie dish (or whatever you want to eat).
It is not about the food even though it feels like it is. This is time to enjoy other people's company. If she comments, so be it. People comment.

Liftin4food

Take a deep breath. It isn't healthy to be upsetting yourself over one meal. One meal will not make you fat.

If you can - and feel the need to - fit in a bit of extra exercise to help off set the extra calories. But it's not the end of the world if you don't manage to do that. You don't have to eat everything in sight. If the portions are huge just eat an amount you feel comfortable with

But mostly - go and enjoy the meal with your mom and friend. They are what matter - not the food put out in front of you.

Chrysalid2014

Enjoy the meal and eat half sized-portions. You don't ever need to overeat just because someone else is pressuring you to. If they have a problem with it... that's their problem.
Your friend will just have to get used to the "new you" who doesn't overeat.

If you're really uncomfortable about "making" your friend feel bad on this special occasion, you can always say something like "Ooh, I don't know what's wrong with me this evening, my stomach feels a little queer...", or "Ooh, I feel really full up for some reason..." and even tell her you'll take the remainder (or dessert) home with you to eat later. Then you can bin it when you get there.