It still hurts

mom2kpr

You would think at 42 yrs old and after being teased about weight through most of my childhood, names wouldn't hurt anymore, but it does, even when it is not intentional. I was helping my daughter babysit today. I had stepped out the room for awhile & when I came back the 7 yr old boy was hiding. He says "where is the fat lady?" I felt like crying (still do). I know he didn't say it to be mean, but I can't get it out of my mind. It has been years since anyone has made fun of me or commented on my size. It still hurts to hear it.

cicisiam

I know it is painful, but it is your choice how you want to use that pain. Use that pain as the fire in your gut to get you moving and dedticated to logging everything. You can be anything you want to be. Use negative energy and turn it into positive energy for yourself.

toiletski

Everyone has their "button". When people comment on my weight, they know that's how they can hurt me the most. And words do hurt, most of the time more than physical pain, regardless of who it comes from. Just try to use that as motivation and a goal. To never be called "fat" again.

kimmie185

I can understand that.
You should have seen the tears roll down my face when my own little girl who was 5 at the time, said that I was "fat". Pretty bad hurt when it comes from your own kiddo! :sad:

Things like that did help motivate me to change my life though. Have to take negative things and try to turn them into positive things to keep going.

mandylgibbs

Oh I understand this!!! My nephew (3) walked in the the bathroom while I was in the tub one night and said, "Oh you are way too big for that tub." I was hurt until he explained that he meant my legs were too long for it.

I also vividly remember one of my young preschool students asking me why I had a butt in the front (see my before photos). He ran around to see if I had one in the back. It wasn't the wake up call I needed, but it hurt.

I don't think I've ever told anyone that story before.

AlsDonkBoxSquat

It is painful, no matter the age or intention of the person. For me the part that hurt the most (before I lost weight) was the realization that from most children it's not name calling, it's them vocalizing their truth and their truth hurt more than someone else's mean intentions.

You are the painter of your own canvas, you decide what the picture looks like, if you want something different change your course.

lina1131

((hugs))

AwesomelyAmber

Out of the mouths of babes... or little ones old enough to know NOT to use hurtful language but still do :grumble:

Years ago my family was at the beach. My mother had lost roughly 70 pounds at that point and was still around 200ish pounds... on the way into the bathroom a little one (old enough to know better, maybe 7-10) says "That fat lady needs to get out of the way". The pain on her face, and the tears in her eyes were enough to break my heart.... She just kept saying "After all this weight loss, it still hurts". (and just like with you... of course it does!!!)

But you know what she did??? She busted her *kitten* and went on to lose over 100 pounds in total and remains for that (amoung many many reasons) my hero

Keep working at this! Keep your head up! And don't ever let anyone, child, friend, stranger, or old person make you feel like you can't. :flowerforyou:

KatC_88

I can imagine how much it hurt, I know I have been there before. But sometimes thats the "wake up" we need. Dont let this get you down, let it make you mad and fed up! Take charge and change it! I finally got so tired of my weight that I am changing it. It is the hardest thing I have had to do! Its a struggle, but I am growing and getting healthier everyday! Now somethings are just easier and I have close to 100 lbs to loose! That is the size of a small person! I wont let that get me down though, I will do it and I will no longer be the "fat" girl in the room!


You can do it! Remember you are NOT alone!!!

endoftheside

I know it hurts, but at some point I decided that I needed to own what was objectively true about myself. Yes, I am a four-eyes, yes I am fat, yes I am short (etc.) So what? It has no power when you accept it as part of your current reality. Doesn't mean you have to stay fat, it doesn't mean that fat is all you are.

PhattiPhat

Sorry but if my daughter was that rude at 7, especially to a family member, she would get a swift pop to the mouth. Regardless, you have taken the steps to take care of yourself and keep on keepin on. Best wishes to you on your journey.

fishgutzy

At work, kids can be brought in on those occasions when no other option is available.
I stopped by a cubicle and said "you got small" joking that the dad had shrunk. The boy couldn't have been more than 5. Without skipping a beat he replied "you're fat" in a very matter of fact tone that was almost Spock like. I laughed like hell. I had not expected that from the kid. Didn't phase me because I knew I was fat.

I still have 35 pounds to go. But none of the "skinny" people at the Y pool have anything on me in the lane. They know I can outswim them all. One life guard actually called me 'skinny."

All we can do is ignore the ignorance of others.
Children learn that behavior from adults around them and television, not to mention, from elected politicians too. Behaving badly is rewarded. I can't let that rent space in my head. It is not worth the energy.

KatC_88

At work, kids can be brought in on those occasions when no other option is available.
I stopped by a cubicle and said "you got small" joking that the dad had shrunk. The boy couldn't have been more than 5. Without skipping a beat he replied "you're fat" in a very matter of fact tone that was almost Spock like. I laughed like hell. I had not expected that from the kid. Didn't phase me because I knew I was fat.

I still have 35 pounds to go. But none of the "skinny" people at the Y pool have anything on me in the lane. They know I can outswim them all. One life guard actually called me 'skinny."

All we can do is ignore the ignorance of others.
Children learn that behavior from adults around them and television, not to mention, from elected politicians too. Behaving badly is rewarded. I can't let that rent space in my head. It is not worth the energy.

Well said!

mom2kpr

Sorry but if my daughter was that rude at 7, especially to a family member, she would get a swift pop to the mouth. Regardless, you have taken the steps to take care of yourself and keep on keepin on. Best wishes to you on your journey.

It was a little boy my daughter was babysitting. They parents have strict no spanking policy in their house (not that I would every spank another child, nor would I teach my daughter to do that). The little boys sister told me I should tell the mom (she was too embarrassed by her brother to do it), but I can't bring myself to do it. I just pretended like I didn't hear it.

mom2kpr

Thanks everyone for the kind words! :flowerforyou:

djeffreys10

Maybe the years I spent in a horrible marriage made me immune to being hurt by the things someone may say, but still, I really don't get it. I was called fat in the past. No reason for that to hurt me. I was fat. It was simply a factual observation. I decided I was tired of being fat, so I changed it.

fishgutzy

Maybe the years I spent in a horrible marriage made me immune to being hurt by the things someone may say, but still, I really don't get it. I was called fat in the past. No reason for that to hurt me. I was fat. It was simply a factual observation. I decided I was tired of being fat, so I changed it.

We dudes are heartless bass turds:bigsmile:
What makes me really SMH are people who dress like they actually believe they are 200 pounds lighter than they are. Male or female. To me that is absolute proof of delusional personality disorder. We've all seen them at the mall, Wal-Mart, or at the beach. We see that level of self delusion in the audition shows for American Idol and other "talent" shows.

It is a far better sign of mental health when someone takes blunt statements to heart. They have one up on the delusional sect.