Just need some accountability

AmberA219

Hi everyone. I'm writing this today because I feel I need some accountability. Let me start by saying that I started using mfp back in 2013 at 167 lbs. I became obsessed with logging my calories and exercising and for nearly a year I worked out for over an hour 5-6 days a week, completed insanity, ran a 5k,and lost almost 30 lbs. Around the end of the year I started giving in to all the holiday treats. I went over my calories for the first time, one day turned into another, and another, and I got discouraged. Eventually I ended up ditching everything, going back to my old ways, and stopped using mfp completely. Fast forward to 2015 (146 lbs) and here I am, determined to get back on track again. The thing is, although I have been logging consistently, I can't seem to stop myself from binge eating. I see how many calories I've consumed when I log my binges yet I still want to eat cookies and chocolate etc. I have been logging everyday for three weeks now and I've been over my calories almost every day due to snacks, fast food, and beer. It's gotten to the point where my boyfriend is concerned about me. The other day, I brought home a huge bag of tootsie rolls, a bag of chocolate mints, a brownie mix, and a carrot cake mix. He got upset, with good reason, because he knows I'm trying to control my eating and he hates to see me self-sabotage. I just have such a hard time controlling my cravings. As a kid, candy and chocolate was everywhere. My mom has always been very obese and eats mass amounts of candy all the time. My brother and her are still overweight and don't seem to care much when I try to talk to them about it. I just don't want to be like that but I need help getting my eating under control. Anyway if you've read this much, I thank you. I just feel like I need some accountability and maybe a little motivation. I don't understand how everyone stays under their calories all the time, it's so hard for me! Anyways thanks again for reading this. Just putting this out there makes me feel better already.

terbusha

When I'm being tempted to over-indulge, I remember my purpose in exercising and eating healthy. I'm working hard to teach my son how to live a healthy life and not encounter the health issues associated with over-eating (as well and being in the best shape I can be in). It's important to have a strong why that can help you to overcome your difficulties.

If you're having that much difficulty with binging, maybe you need to speak with a good councilor/therapist. There's nothing wrong with that.

Also, if you're looking for a good support group, I help to run a great support and accountability group on Facebook for people looking to improve their health and fitness. It's just a bunch of people supporting and encouraging each other to make progress towards their goals. It's an awesome community. If you're interested in it, I'd be glad to chat with you about it.

Allan

bas0128

Hey There!! I feel ya, but more on the salty, beer side of things. For me, control starts at the point of sale (store). I have to control what I buy. Then, once I see even minimal progress, after a couple of weeks or so, that gives me the motivation to stay on track. Getting back on the wagon is the hardest part though.

mizzlarabee

AmberA219 wrote: »

Hi everyone. I'm writing this today because I feel I need some accountability. Let me start by saying that I started using mfp back in 2013 at 167 lbs. I became obsessed with logging my calories and exercising and for nearly a year I worked out for over an hour 5-6 days a week, completed insanity, ran a 5k,and lost almost 30 lbs. Around the end of the year I started giving in to all the holiday treats. I went over my calories for the first time, one day turned into another, and another, and I got discouraged. Eventually I ended up ditching everything, going back to my old ways, and stopped using mfp completely. Fast forward to 2015 (146 lbs) and here I am, determined to get back on track again. The thing is, although I have been logging consistently, I can't seem to stop myself from binge eating. I see how many calories I've consumed when I log my binges yet I still want to eat cookies and chocolate etc. I have been logging everyday for three weeks now and I've been over my calories almost every day due to snacks, fast food, and beer. It's gotten to the point where my boyfriend is concerned about me. The other day, I brought home a huge bag of tootsie rolls, a bag of chocolate mints, a brownie mix, and a carrot cake mix. He got upset, with good reason, because he knows I'm trying to control my eating and he hates to see me self-sabotage. I just have such a hard time controlling my cravings. As a kid, candy and chocolate was everywhere. My mom has always been very obese and eats mass amounts of candy all the time. My brother and her are still overweight and don't seem to care much when I try to talk to them about it. I just don't want to be like that but I need help getting my eating under control. Anyway if you've read this much, I thank you. I just feel like I need some accountability and maybe a little motivation. I don't understand how everyone stays under their calories all the time, it's so hard for me! Anyways thanks again for reading this. Just putting this out there makes me feel better already.

Amber, it sounds to me like you have some learned behaviours that need to be addressed. I'm not going to play armchair psychologist but you may need to speak to someone about your behaviour with food.

Number one priority is do not feel ashamed and do not be so hard on yourself. I've bolded some of the things you wrote because it sounds to me like you are being too restrictive. You need to have a balance -- we all do. Learned behaviours can be really hard to change, but it takes more than just focusing on weight loss. That will be the end result -- the first thing you have to change is your behaviours that got you to where you are.

If you open up your diary, or even just post here your stats (age, height, weight, activity level) we can give some input on a good starting point. A lot of people take a very aggressive approach with their diet, and that can be very damaging and discouraging. Allowing yourself to eat the foods you enjoy while still losing weight can be really helpful in stopping binge cycles.

LyssaJ1

For whatever it's worth, I have a therapist and have met with a dietician and a nutritionist. Perhaps it might be worth you checking-into as well. Heck, I encourage it for everyone...we can all learn something new and better ways to do things.

I *so love* all the chocolates...but I also love not hauling around the 50+ pounds I had going on for a long time. For me, it's a matter of discipline...and changing my brain, so that it's *happy* to be getting healthier stuff, not just short-term "fixes" (chocolate *is* addictive, imo...short-term high/happy for a boat-load of grief.) Bas0128 had a really good point about it starting at the point-of-sale. I've found that making lists *and* sticking to them, to be very important. I also realize that completely cutting chocolate out of my life *so isn't going to happen*...so I have built-in to the way I eat, that I can have *some*, but not *all*. Yay! @ self-control, but dang if some days it isn't a total bear.

Be good to you!

AmberA219

Thanks for the responses everyone! Okay I've opened my diary, please don't judge me! This is basically how I've been eating my whole life and it's going to take a lot to get used to eating in moderation! In my house growing up the portions were huge, the desserts plentiful, and the word moderation was nonexistent. So I'm used to snacking and I love going back for seconds. So far I've been logging how I normally eat so I can see the difference when I start to diet. I agree with the comments about therapy though. I have a troubled relationship with food and a counselor would probably help a lot.

Allen I would love to join your group on Facebook. That's what I need, people who can keep me accountable and who I can turn to for support. I don't want to go on a diet that I won't be able to maintain, so I need to learn how to make changes I can sustain through my normal life. Last time I think I just went overboard and burned myself out. This time I want to approach it more realistically.