Lack of support

auvenidapena

so I have been on numerous Yoyo diets so of course my partner keeps bringing me down with things like " your not committed" or " she is losing weight so much faster than you". My question is how can I convince him that I'm genuinely committed to being healthy and the negative remarks are only pulling me back?!!!!

Carol_

You aren't getting the support you need?

Carol_

I see you lost 3 pounds!

auvenidapena

Thank you but I just like I'm going so slowly it's no fast enough for it to even count, just feeling down today.

forgtmenot

He sounds like a jerk.

999tigger

The weakness is in expecting anything from him at all. Rely on yourself. tell him if hes not interested in supporting you, then he can at least refrain from the negative comments. If he wont then it says more about him and youd have to question yourself why you are with him. Stop worrying about lack of support, you really dont need anyone else, you do need to commit and focus on creating consistent calorific deficits for weight loss.

Get a friends list on mfp.

auvenidapena

Thanks guys so glad I shared!

Tubbs216

Don't discuss it with him - just carry on doing your thing.

janismaureen

with my husband I had to take responsibility for how many times I had failed in the past. of course he was skeptical. i ended up "showing him" but it took time. Now he's a believer!!! your guy may or may not be a jerk. i don't have enough information to know, just be kind to yourself and seek support somewhere else. time will tell whether or not he is a good guy. Sometimes they are threatened when we change. He may be afraid you will leave him if you improve yourself. take good care of yourself, friend me if you want to… janismaureen

Jmgkamp

The proof is in the pudding! You're doing the work, you're seeing the results... Your partner will notice in due time. Y husband said nothing until one day I walked out if the shower and he did a double take like in a cartoon/sit com. It was awesome.

nzchikky

You will get nothing but support here, add me if you like.

auvenidapena

Lol you guys are awesome!!!!

hhnkhl

just ignore what others say...
if you stop doing what you are shooting for because of what others say...
that's lack of motivation right there.
You do what you need to do.
You are in control.

allaboutthefood

Stay positive, this is your journey. Not his! you can ask him to keep his remarks to himself. He might not realize what he is doing. Don't feel bad about a slow weight loss, slow and steady is the best way to do it. Stay strong and remember this is about you and your journey on living a healthier life.

Psychgrrl

Guys can be clueless sometimes and the "tough love" approach probably works for him and his buddies. People often relate to others in the way in which they themselves prefer.

I'd find a time when you're both in a good mood and neither are defensive and let him know, not what you don't want him to say, but how he can encourage you in a way that will help you reach your goal. "Honey, it would really help me out if you'd recognize/encourage/support me by ..."

CM_73

It's quite possible he's feeling threatened by your desire to change. Self improvement requires a bit of courage to take the first steps, he may just be feeling uncomfortable with the "new you."
Ultimately you're doing this for yourself, your health is the most important thing you have because without that, you have nothing.
Keep doing what you're doing, believe in yourself and just keep on striving for your goals.
He'll see how committed you are in time, it doesn't matter who's losing weight faster (they're probably not, and if they are, all of us yo-yo dieters know how unsustainable that is) what matters is YOU!!
You're doing great, just keep on doing it, and that's it!

azulvioleta6

The best thing that you can do is to prove him wrong.

auvenidapena

CM_73 wrote: »

It's quite possible he's feeling threatened by your desire to change. Self improvement requires a bit of courage to take the first steps, he may just be feeling uncomfortable with the "new you."
Ultimately you're doing this for yourself, your health is the most important thing you have because without that, you have nothing.
Keep doing what you're doing, believe in yourself and just keep on striving for your goals.
He'll see how committed you are in time, it doesn't matter who's losing weight faster (they're probably not, and if they are, all of us yo-yo dieters know how unsustainable that is) what matters is YOU!!
You're doing great, just keep on doing it, and that's it!

You are my hero! Thank you!

auvenidapena

azulvioleta6 wrote: »

The best thing that you can do is to prove him wrong.

Thank you! And I will

auvenidapena

Psychgrrl wrote: »

Guys can be clueless sometimes and the "tough love" approach probably works for him and his buddies. People often relate to others in the way in which they themselves prefer.

I'd find a time when you're both in a good mood and neither are defensive and let him know, not what you don't want him to say, but how he can encourage you in a way that will help you reach your goal. "Honey, it would really help me out if you'd recognize/encourage/support me by ..."

Yeah the tough love doesn't work for me! You are so right- tough love is probably his way of pushing me but it's not my thing. This was so helpful!

atypicalsmith

Just lose your weight. You don't need his approval or guidance or support. If YOU want to do it, then do it, and stop reading passive/aggressive techniques when he simply doesn't care if you lose weight or not.

Mr_Knight

auvenidapena wrote: »

so I have been on numerous Yoyo diets so of course my partner keeps bringing me down with things like " your not committed" or " she is losing weight so much faster than you". My question is how can I convince him that I'm genuinely committed to being healthy and the negative remarks are only pulling me back?!!!!

He's not pulling you back.

You're failing on your own.

I'm not trying to be harsh, but that's the reality. And until you accept responsibility for your own choices and outcomes, nothing is going to change.