Friending/unfriending etiquette

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try2again
try2again Posts: 3,562 Member
in Getting Started
I'm a person who's concerned about the feelings of others, even on a website full of strangers. I know these questions will make some roll their eyes- and no need for you to post, right? ;) - but if you are the same way, maybe you can share your thoughts:
    [
  • If someone sends you a friend request, and you just don't think they're a good match for you, do you just hit "decline" or provide a reason? What, if anything, does the other person see if you decline?
  • How long do you wait to unfriend inactive members?
  • If a person in your group of friends who is otherwise active doesn't interact with you in any way other than maybe hitting "like" on your posts, would you keep them on your list? Again, if you unfriend someone, would they be notified of this, or would your feed quietly slip off theirs?/list]

    Thanks everybody!

Replies

  • WanderingMe
    WanderingMe Posts: 216 Member
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    I have no idea what others see if you decline their requests, but I dont imagine they see anything. I dont think you should feel guilty for not adding just anyone. I start to unfriend people once they have been inactive for 2 months or more. A lot of people unfriend after a month, but I went on a 6 week trip to another country where I had very little internet access.
  • swirlybee
    swirlybee Posts: 497 Member
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    try2again wrote: »
    If a person in your group of friends who is otherwise active doesn't interact with you in any way other than maybe hitting "like" on your posts, would you keep them on your list?
    This is entirely up to you, but I like getting "likes" so I keep them as friends. It is kinda shallow to some extent but it motivates me.

  • GreenIceFloes
    GreenIceFloes Posts: 1,491 Member
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    swirlybee wrote: »
    try2again wrote: »
    If a person in your group of friends who is otherwise active doesn't interact with you in any way other than maybe hitting "like" on your posts, would you keep them on your list?
    This is entirely up to you, but I like getting "likes" so I keep them as friends. It is kinda shallow to some extent but it motivates me.

    I'm not looking for cheerleaders, and nor am I one, so I like the 'likes' I receive. It's a matter of preference. There are no guidelines, really. Some people get butthurt over getting unfriended, others don't. Depends on the person.
    You can always mention on your profile what criteria you want potential friends to meet, that will help with the filtering.
  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
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    I generally will accept any request that comes with a message, unless I find the message offensive for some reason like it's a come-on or whatever. Either way I don't feel bad declining. And I really never look at my friends list so I don't delete anyone or really even know who is there but not active.
  • Hornsby
    Hornsby Posts: 10,322 Member
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    If you send a message with the request, I will accept. If you become inactive for more than 5 days...you get the boot.
  • Wiseandcurious
    Wiseandcurious Posts: 730 Member
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    I decided not to keep a private circle of "friends" and have posted this on my profile but every so often I get requests. My rule of thumb is for every declined request, I take 5 sec and send them a personal message thanking them for the request and explaining why I can't accept. I think this would work well even if your reason to decline is personal (your goals don't mesh, your lifestyles are too different, whatever) as long as it's friendly and respectful. It just seemed better to me than just hitting "decline" and leaving it at that without explanation. Not sure if it's an actual "etiquette" rule.
  • 1mumrevolution
    1mumrevolution Posts: 269 Member
    edited May 2015
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    What about when peeps request your friend"ship" but don't interact with you at all, as in no likes, no comments? Are these friend hoarders? I wonder why they asked for friendship but don't interact?
  • andympanda
    andympanda Posts: 763 Member
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    swirlybee wrote: »
    try2again wrote: »
    If a person in your group of friends who is otherwise active doesn't interact with you in any way other than maybe hitting "like" on your posts, would you keep them on your list?
    This is entirely up to you, but I like getting "likes" so I keep them as friends. It is kinda shallow to some extent but it motivates me.

    I don't think it's shallow. if it motivates you, use it to your advantage.

  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,268 Member
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    try2again wrote: »
    I'm a person who's concerned about the feelings of others, even on a website full of strangers. I know these questions will make some roll their eyes- and no need for you to post, right? ;) - but if you are the same way, maybe you can share your thoughts:
      [
    • If someone sends you a friend request, and you just don't think they're a good match for you, do you just hit "decline" or provide a reason? What, if anything, does the other person see if you decline?
    • How long do you wait to unfriend inactive members?
    • If a person in your group of friends who is otherwise active doesn't interact with you in any way other than maybe hitting "like" on your posts, would you keep them on your list? Again, if you unfriend someone, would they be notified of this, or would your feed quietly slip off theirs?/list]

      Thanks everybody!

    Im mean...apparently

    I ask for a small note for friend requests...no note declined (unless special circumstance like interaction in the forums from a new member)
    I decline with no reason given
    I wait typically 14 days for new friends...some friends have a lot of leeway (2 years of friendship)
    Yes I do keep non interactive people on my list within reason.
    When you unfriend no notice is sent.

    I keep people with similar values and motivations and interests as me...we all seem to be on each others friends list...

    I don't keep people who under eat, log certain things as exercise, get snotty when I ask them about something they posted....etc. Oh and typically locked food diaries...I don't look but really if you want to be on my list and see my diary best be opening yours too.

  • ClurWelsh
    ClurWelsh Posts: 21 Member
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    I accept anyone, what's the problem? What's the worst that can happen?!
  • Lasmartchika
    Lasmartchika Posts: 3,440 Member
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    try2again wrote: »
    [*] If someone sends you a friend request, and you just don't think they're a good match for you, do you just hit "decline" or provide a reason? What, if anything, does the other person see if you decline?

    I decline if I don't feel like adding them. No reason provided. They won't know.

    [*] How long do you wait to unfriend inactive members?

    Usually about a few months if they've interacted with me. About a month of inactivity - I'll leave them a note to see what's up, if they don't come back, they're deleted off my FL... or I'll unfriend in a few days of inactivity if they didn't even interact in the first place. No notice is given.

    [*] If a person in your group of friends who is otherwise active doesn't interact with you in any way other than maybe hitting "like" on your posts, would you keep them on your list? Again, if you unfriend someone, would they be notified of this, or would your feed quietly slip off theirs?/list]

    I like to "like" and comment on my friend's posts, I like that they do the same... If that never happens from their part, I just take them off, no notice. They won't notice I'm gone from their FL since they never interacted with me anyways. It's not like I'm offended or hurt or whatever, but what's the point of having people on my FL if we never interact in any way? I'm not a friend hoarder. :cookie:

  • Serah87
    Serah87 Posts: 5,481 Member
    edited May 2015
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    Hornsby wrote: »
    If you send a message with the request, I will accept. If you become inactive for more than 5 days...you get the boot.

    This^^^^^except I'm a nice person and give them 7 days. ;)

    ETA: If you do less then 1200 calories and they MUST have open diaries. :D

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