Staying motivated without SO engaged

rmoinichen

I'm curious how people may feel about trying to achieve a healthy lifestyle without your significant other being engaged in it. I'm finding that some days are harder than others, i can keep myself motivated but i also find myself tempted by falling into old habits. Weve been together a long time, and had healthier life styles in the past. Over the years we got comfortable and i gained 30 pounds over the span of a year. Is there anything you do to keep from giving into old habits, and what do you do to stay excited about health without your partner?

williamwj2014

I don't have a "SO" but do live in a household with others who aren't living my kind of lifestyle but the thing is, you can't force your lifestyle on others and you need to remind yourself that your doing it for yourself. Motivation isn't constant so stop seeking it all the time because it comes and goes, it's commitment and dedication that will make you successful. You need to constantly remind yourself why your doing what it is your doing. Everyone has bad days but your still in control of the choices you make, remember that.

999tigger

Commit and focus on what you have to do. If you do that then what others do is not important.

Understand what you are doing and why
Understand how weight loss works.
Formulate a good plan
Stick to plan consistently and get results.
Rinse and repeat.

None of that involves the input or effort of anyone except you.

Mouse_Potato

When I first decided to lose weight and get in shape, I told my SO about it, excitedly. He said nothing. I started counting calories and hitting the gym. He said nothing. I studied menus so I could stay within my calories when we went out to eat (which is pretty much constantly). He still said nothing.

The weight started to fall off and I needed new clothes. He started to notice. I dropped 4-5 dress sizes and started lifting. Now he tells me all the time how much he loves my body and how proud he is of me. He's even started coming to the gym with me and asking me questions about his own diet.

So, what took him so long to speak up? Past experience. He'd watched many girls over the years decide to lose weight, fail, and cry on his shoulder. Or lose a few pounds, gain them back, and cry on his shoulder. He figured his best option was to keep his mouth shut and let me do my thing.

Why did I keep going without his involvement? Because it was, in fact, my thing. It wasn't about him and it wasn't his job to change anything. My decision, my project, and, eventually, my victory. I learned a lot along the way including how to maintain my lifestyle without intruding on his. It's a good feeling. Now I know no one else can derail me.

DrLauraDVM16

Mouse_Potato wrote: »

Why did I keep going without his involvement? Because it was, in fact, my thing. It wasn't about him and it wasn't his job to change anything. My decision, my project, and, eventually, my victory. I learned a lot along the way including how to maintain my lifestyle without intruding on his. It's a good feeling. Now I know no one else can derail me.

Well said. This is the crux of the matter, I think. You do what you do for you, and no one else. After 10 years of going it on my own, my hubby does work out with me, but only because we recently moved to a rural area with no gym access and I had to invest in weightlifting equipment for our home. No way would he have set foot in a gym, with or without me. And now that I'm trying to lose a few pounds and counting calories, I'm on my own again. He'll eat what I fix, but I also have to make sure we're stocked up on candy and ice cream. I'm fine with that. If I slip up it's my fault, not his.

I do this because I like the way it feels, and I like the way I look when I'm in better shape.

aloranger7708

My fiancé isn't trying to lose weight but he's extremely supportive of me. Even if he wasn't, I know what I have to do to lose weight and how to say 'no.' It also helps that I don't try to be perfect 100% of the time. We had a treat meal on Friday but went out again to eat on Saturday, and I ordered a grilled chicken salad and he didn't say anything about an appetizer and doesn't taunt me with his pasta. Also, I find eating some junk during the week helps: I keep Oreos in my freezer and have 2 every night, not to mention I still have fast food if it fits my calories. Last week I had Popeyes and Taco Bell So I do think a supportive partner is helpful but it's not necessary! The only motivation you need is for yourself.