Fed up with injuries/middle age/hypermobility
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kellycasey5 wrote: »Have you tried aquatic therapy? Again not having your entire history and seeing what your personal issues are (like specific motion restrictions or what the soft tissue issues are), it is just a well intended thought. I do not mean swimming since you state you can't with the shoulder stuff you have going on. I mean pool activities.
Not being able to see your profile of where you are or what country you are in, there may not be swimming pools. I'm going out on a limb and guessing there are. I also speak from CA experience, so go easy on me if I am out of line
When I physically could no longer run, I took up pool jogging. At first I did it at an outdoor heated rehab pool, because pain was an issue and the 93 degree water helped. Then I bought a pair of the hydro-fit ankle cuffs (same as what I used at rehab) and took those to the local YMCA which was cheaper and they were ok with my deep water jogging.
There are many many ways to modify pool activities and it can be appropriate for most people with pain and mobility issues (contractures to hyppermobility if the muscles are strong enough first and the range of motion is constantly thought about). This is likely safest to attempt with few sessions of PT in the pool. Lots of places have such a thing if you ask about it. Some contract with PT, some PTs can arrange it, some PT facilities have it. The point being, you can get VERY individualized instruction and monitoring to prevent injury until you can safely do it on your own. It may cost a bit at first, but likely if you go twice a week for maybe a month you will be able to learn what you can do and do it on your own. Then you could follow up as needed should you have new restrictions/ health issues or need more of a challenge. Injury prevention is key, and activity can in your case prevent injury as well if done properly. That IMO is worth spending the $ on.
I would be willing to wager if you can dance on land, you can pool. Did you know they have pool zumba at some facilities such as YMCAs? You may like that. Zumba for people that can't zumba on land. A group of people each with different issues that are serious about their workout and having fun. Maybe you can't do the arm stuff or all of the leg stuff. So what? Maybe you need to wear the pool belts and go in deep water because standing even in the pool is too much. It can be done.
Pool is fun, too. I have even taken granny water aerobics when the pool jogging was no longer possible due to my imbalance. Don't knock it till you try it...And I'd bet some serious money that after a few classes the instructor can help you get the most out of your workout if you aren't challenged enough. Make sure they are qualified of course.
Besides the various arthritis aquatics classes and aerobics classes, pool zumba, pool spin classes, pool yoga, pool bootcamp etc abound. Most of them are FUN. AND a killer pain free injury free activity if done properly. And there are also regular non sick and injured people who want a new workout and do pool also. Just a thought as there are many people with impact restrictions and joint issues/pain issues that turn to the pool. Pool works wonders for muscle building and maintenance with minimal impact.
OH YEAH....depending on where you live, many places also have outdoor community pools that are very affordable. If you can get a mixed use lane (usually the middle of the pool between the kid area and lane swimming) you may be able to do your stuff OUTSIDE. Most pools don't advertise, but if the lifeguard is on board and you explain your situation and pass the basic pool safety stuff, they will usually let you. Most are okay with you having your own equipment as well even if policy states you can't. That would get you outdoors if you so choose. I am unsure how being in a gym environment allows you to better control things in response to pain. If you were in the pool, they often have ramps instead of steps to get out of the pool and bleachers or benches pool side you could sit in. They also have constant lifeguard monitoring, telephones, locker rooms, water, etc etc.
Sorry this got pretty long. I just fully support people in finding ability in disability. Just because you can't do what you did before and loved doing, doesn't mean you can't find new and different things to love. The pool could possibly give you the workout and DEFINITELY the physique you are looking for.
Best of luck...
It is great to hear this kind of enthusiasm, and encouragement! No, I haven't tried pool activities! Just swimming (which, yeah...). This isn't a service offered by my PT, but if it's out there, it's definitely something I'd like to at least try I'm in Canada, and we do have pools Thank you for sharing!
(Also: I would love to actually get a solid workout in. It's good to know that it's possible to build/maintain muscle this way. I'm pretty vain, so that definitely appeals )
Water jogging is the bomb if you get a waterproof mp3 player, just sayin' It's an amazing workout that works a whack of muscle groups.
In following up on what the poster above said, look around for gymns in your area that might have arthritis therapy centers. There's one near me attached to a medical building. I'm joining them in November when my current gym contract expires. They have four pools!
I hear you. It sounds like you've come to a point that anyone with a chronic issue does, that of running into your boundaries. None of us like being reminded they're there, because they shift our focus from can to can't.
It honestly sounds like you just need some time to find some new goals and activities. To find new cans so you'll be able to get your mojo back.
Hang in there.
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I am so sorry you are going through this. I'm not as brave as you - I think that if I started ranting I'd never stop (same with crying) - but I do know exactly how you feel.
Have you ever read Spoon Theory? It is relevant to so many conditions/illnesses, although I'm sick of running out of spoons and having to change plans.0 -
You are wherevery you are. I started as a couch potato and have gone at a pretty reasonable rate in the gym at things. Have had some injuries, rotator cuff, musle tears, lower back, fingers etcm but on the whole ive been very responsible and monitored my health well buy listening to my body. This has helped me minimise the impact of any injury and made the turnaround pretty quick. Ive not needed to see the Dr and rest even if it was taking ten days off, has been sufficient for me to keep going. As soon as I get a niggle im aware of it, keep an eye on it and if it escalates then I stop or at least am careful im not going to make it worse. Form tends to be very important.
I also think cooling down helps. So in answer to your question when over 30 are you constantly carrying injuries? No, just niggles and tweaks which i will act on to try and prevent it becoming an injury. Some of them are just part of putting in the hours over the week and pishing your body. Listening to your body , cooling down healing up properly and common sense help minimise downtime.0 -
@CurlyCockney I got you on the spoon theory. though convincing loved ones about the underlying principle has been unsuccessful so far
for the op
bellydancing could be a great idea, poi spinning, or hooping.
water aerobics or water jogging could work.0 -
How common are musculoskeletal issues among recreationally active people over 30? Does everyone who's slightly more than sedentary have something going on? When i'm good, I can dance, that's the only fun thing that seems to not cause problems. Which is great but it's only a night-time thing, and the people I used to dance with are no longer up for late nights (babies).
Ha ha...I'm with you there! I just dance with people in their 20s and 30s and the few people like me who are still active and able to do late nights even though we are older.
I've been having a hard time with breaking teeth and bones over the last year--in my case it's less of an age thing than a function of a rare health problem that I have--not EDS. I have backed off competitive sports a bit because I can't do them casually--I have to compete in order for it to be fun. I would love to do something like roller derby, but I just can't because I know that the injuries and healing time would be too much for me to deal with.
It sounds like you need to find more low-impact activities. Do you swim?0 -
I like the activity ideas and finding stuff you can do.
BUT....have you taken time to really think about why you are overdoing it? WHY you push when you reached an inch and want the mile? WHY you go to the point of pain and injury and need to take 3 weeks off? WHY you aren't happy with your modified squats? WHY you are impatient? WHY you are fighting yourself so hard over a disease your body has? WHY can't you accept your limit yet? (I don't mean any harshness or insincerity, rather I mean for you to think about it...is it denial? pride? personal goals and achievements? desire? drive? physical gains? everyone has a reason....all of us are different....but it is worth thinking about!) The chronic illness for everyone has a line in the sand, a line that can't be crossed without paying the price with our health. Some have a fixed line, some have a moving target, all struggle. The fact that you are frustrated and sharing is a good thing! It took me years to admit something was wrong health wise, and now years to get to the point where I am okay with talking about it.
These types of illnesses in my experience are genetic and lifelong. Sometimes quiet, sometimes awake, ALWAYS a real m*&#erf%^ker. Only you know your body. And at some point you will realize that pushing yourself to pain and injury will eventually lead to a permanent injury. Don't do that....please don't! Also, the pushing buys you weeks+ of injury. Modified squats are a heck of a lot better than no squats, right?
If you are anything like me, you probably view your life with what I call the "used to blues". You used to do xyz, you used to have xyz kind of body, you used to lift xyz amount of weight, you used to run xyz far and xyz fast, you used to hike xyz miles with xyz elevation, you used to cycle xyz miles and xyz mph, you used to score xyz points at basketball and make xyz numbers of freethrows....etc etc etc. If you don't do that, if you can't reach that, you have failed. Or, the other thing is that I used to love a lot of the activities I did and so it was a natural thing to miss that large part of my life.
And, if you are anything like me, the best competition is yourself. Meet it or beat it used to be my personal motto. USED TO. I got so tired of the anxiety and depression, and so tired of beating myself up. Nobody else saw me as a failure. But I did.
Even worse, people pitied me. I hate the pity look more than I hate failing. So time to find things that I am happy about and not get into the pity train. It leads nowhere fast. If people give me the pity look now, I shrug and can rattle off a list of things I did that week (my personal successes if you will).
The key to this is REDEFINING SUCCESS. This meant taking some time to figure out what success was to me, what it looked like before, and what it will look like now. I used to think it was the career, the money, the lifestyle, getting married, buying a house, blah blah blah. Everything activity wise was bigger better faster stronger. AND ALL OF IT WAS NEVER ENOUGH. Met my goal? Great. On to the next. Didn't meet my goal? No excuses, try harder. GO BIG OR GO HOME wasn't just a work motto, it was a personal motto.
I can't try harder with my illness than I already am. I can't work harder, can't try harder, can't push harder. I can still be successful. For this, I had to think of myself in terms of being disabled. I HATE that. But I did. I acknowledged that I am disabled. Every day. Until I could think about it and not cry. Until the anger was gone. Until I could think it and breathe again. Until it just became a fact with no value judgement. No different that being 5'4, no different than having red hair. As simple as saying "I have a disease that has impacted my health and right now I am disabled." Probably not a big deal for anybody reading....but trust that my denial runs deep and it was much much harder than it sounds. I don't judge other people for their disabilities, and had to stop judging myself. The misery and depression was killing me from the inside, and the illness on the outside. Time to move on.
Based on my old standards for myself, I could NEVER be successful now. I am 33. The thought of me always being a failure because I am sick seemed ludicrous after about 2 days. Pretty sure that I don't just quit and fail life bc I am disabled and have chronic disease without treatment or cure. And I am also certain that disabled people can be successful. Some aren't, but many are. So....it is a new idea of success for me. Each day I make a goal, 1 goal, that is achievable that day. One thing I can do that will make me proud of myself and feel successful. I am not trying to say that your illness or situation has left you disabled, but it does effect you.
As far as my success goes, it varies and is small scale. So far examples have ranged from: getting out of bed, getting dressed, styling my hair, doing my makeup, getting my nails done, cooking a new healthy recipe, posting something positive on facebook, sharing my feelings with others, letting myself cry for 10 minutes, phoning a long lost friend, sending cards in the mail, doing as much of a 15 minute modified restorative yoga clip as I can, doing arm lifts and chest flies with my 3 pound weights, walking 3 blocks, pedaling slowly on my exercise bike for 5 minutes, marching in place for 5 minutes, etc etc etc. Every day it is based on how I am feeling, and every day it is something I would like to do that makes me feel good. Things I can do.
The first week I felt like a complete idiot. The second week I laughed bc all of my successes were things I used to do without thinking about. The third week I was already thinking about the things I could STILL do. Now when the drs start the boohoo pity party, I just quietly tell them that this week I made zucchini pad thai for my visiting family or that I did my own hair or whatever the recent success was. A far cry from the girl I used to be. And a far cry from the obese depressed anxious girl I turned into. So for me, it took a whopping 3 weeks. Cut the stress, cut a bunch of anxiety, and helps some with the depression. It certainly helps me have quality in my life.
This is just a thought and something that has really helped me out. Granted, our situations are different. But I am certain that you will find a way to work with this and reach your goals! I'll send a friend request bc I am dying to see your progress
And seriously...I should consider writing novels bc wow does the post get long
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MamaBirdBoss wrote: »I actually used YouTube to look up strengthening exercises for these conditions. They're usually used post-surgery, but surgery is a bad idea for me (my muscles don't heal right after any injury due to a genetic disease, so surgery is likely to make me a permanent cripple--a sprained ankle can take me 5-10 years to heal fully from--and no, I can't explain why this is, but my disease is so rare, no one else can, either). My shoulders "click" when I go past the range of motion at which they are stable, so I get pretty instant feedback there.
I'm sorry
Awful to be caught with a disease like that, in the middle of lack of knowledge and lack of options. It sounds like you're doing what you can, though MamaBirdBoss wrote: »What's ridiculous is that I DON'T have hypermobility, and STILL my joints are unstable. *sighs* I've had dense doctors insist on testing me from EDS even though I have NOTHING but lots of messed up joints from the symptom list.
Well, they might be dense, but from my point of view, it seems like a positive thing that they were willing to test to exclude possibilities, even if they're less likely ones.
I have been tested for lupus and Lyme disease probably 6 times each, too. LOL. EVERY new doctor tests for these things. I'm like, "Does it have myotonia and myalgia with a warm-up effect that's worsened by cold and fatigue? If not, THAT AIN'T IT!" They also completely freak out about my hyperreflexia + neuralgia + fasciculations + tremors. Nope, don't have ALS, either, folks.0 -
Does anyone else struggle with setting limits? I very often want to make up for lost time in, like, my first day of feeling reasonably good. Like after a few weeks off, I'll want to do 60+ minutes of cardio, at high resistance, with intervals. Or I'll be feeling ok after doing weeks of my safe partial squats, and then want to take my butt right to the ground. I do stop or modify the movement at the first sign of pain, but I can't help feeling the need to push myself.
I think I'm just in denial, at those times. Or I delude myself that I'm in my pre-injury body. I get an inch, and I want to take a mile.
How do you accept your limits, and stop feeling so impatient, or whatever it is that makes you do that kind of irrational stuff?
I carefully did 20% more per week to build strength and endurance. (Um...until I didn't and screwed myself up again, but please ignore that bit. LOL.) I like to be able to push, too.0 -
kellycasey5 wrote: »BUT....have you taken time to really think about why you are overdoing it? WHY you push when you reached an inch and want the mile? WHY you go to the point of pain and injury and need to take 3 weeks off? WHY you aren't happy with your modified squats? WHY you are impatient? WHY you are fighting yourself so hard over a disease your body has? WHY can't you accept your limit yet?
It's very simple for me. That makes it interesting and exciting to push yourself and see yourself improve. Not being able to do that makes exercise a big drag and quite the chore.
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Wow, so much support. I'm a little embarrassed to receive this much kindness from people who've struggled with much harder things. But thank you. It's going to take me a bit to respond to everyone.aerochic42 wrote: »You mentioned a love of dancing, what about low-impact dance (bellydance, line dancing) or exercise like tai chi (it looks like some dancing) classes at your community center, churches, YMCA (don't know if those are in Canada) equivalent. These classes are usually fairly inexpensive and sometimes even cater to low-impact. If you aren't sure ask the instructor the types of movement involved as you know your limits and either do simplified version or just step in place during the tricky bits until you can do more.
I have some relatively minor hyper-mobility issues in my knees and ankles and have found that bellydancing has helped strengthen those stabilizer muscles while still being low-impact but can be a heck of a workout depending on the type, the instructor and the level. When I go longer without dancing, I seem to be more prone to injury in my ankles which in turn screws up my knees. I also tend to push myself faster than I should post-injury, usually re-injuring that same joint. I usually just have to yell at myself and occasionally tell someone else to do so as well.
If there are adult/senior day care centers near you, you might call and see if they know of places that offer different low-impact opportunities. They might be able to refer you to something else. I kind of just made this one up, so have no idea the validity.
Remember low-impact doesn't always mean low-intensity. Just less harsh on joints.
Low-impact dance is great. I think it's especially good because the movements are varied, vs repetitive. I tried a salsa class the other week (I was by far the most junior there), and had to stop because of pain in the knee. I just can't predict what's going to cause it, is the thing. Dancing would be a great thing to do, though, once I'm in order
I agree that not doing any exercise at all usually leads to things getting worse, overall. I should yell at myself, true
I'm not anti-low-impact at all, haven't impacted anything since 2013. I guess I'll have to wait to see why the low-impact machine cardio I've been doing isn't preventing things going wrong (though I assume it's related to repetition and maybe the resistance... But if there's something different I can do form-wise, that'd be great.)0 -
PeachyCarol wrote: »kellycasey5 wrote: »Have you tried aquatic therapy? Again not having your entire history and seeing what your personal issues are (like specific motion restrictions or what the soft tissue issues are), it is just a well intended thought. I do not mean swimming since you state you can't with the shoulder stuff you have going on. I mean pool activities.
Not being able to see your profile of where you are or what country you are in, there may not be swimming pools. I'm going out on a limb and guessing there are. I also speak from CA experience, so go easy on me if I am out of line
When I physically could no longer run, I took up pool jogging. At first I did it at an outdoor heated rehab pool, because pain was an issue and the 93 degree water helped. Then I bought a pair of the hydro-fit ankle cuffs (same as what I used at rehab) and took those to the local YMCA which was cheaper and they were ok with my deep water jogging.
There are many many ways to modify pool activities and it can be appropriate for most people with pain and mobility issues (contractures to hyppermobility if the muscles are strong enough first and the range of motion is constantly thought about). This is likely safest to attempt with few sessions of PT in the pool. Lots of places have such a thing if you ask about it. Some contract with PT, some PTs can arrange it, some PT facilities have it. The point being, you can get VERY individualized instruction and monitoring to prevent injury until you can safely do it on your own. It may cost a bit at first, but likely if you go twice a week for maybe a month you will be able to learn what you can do and do it on your own. Then you could follow up as needed should you have new restrictions/ health issues or need more of a challenge. Injury prevention is key, and activity can in your case prevent injury as well if done properly. That IMO is worth spending the $ on.
I would be willing to wager if you can dance on land, you can pool. Did you know they have pool zumba at some facilities such as YMCAs? You may like that. Zumba for people that can't zumba on land. A group of people each with different issues that are serious about their workout and having fun. Maybe you can't do the arm stuff or all of the leg stuff. So what? Maybe you need to wear the pool belts and go in deep water because standing even in the pool is too much. It can be done.
Pool is fun, too. I have even taken granny water aerobics when the pool jogging was no longer possible due to my imbalance. Don't knock it till you try it...And I'd bet some serious money that after a few classes the instructor can help you get the most out of your workout if you aren't challenged enough. Make sure they are qualified of course.
Besides the various arthritis aquatics classes and aerobics classes, pool zumba, pool spin classes, pool yoga, pool bootcamp etc abound. Most of them are FUN. AND a killer pain free injury free activity if done properly. And there are also regular non sick and injured people who want a new workout and do pool also. Just a thought as there are many people with impact restrictions and joint issues/pain issues that turn to the pool. Pool works wonders for muscle building and maintenance with minimal impact.
OH YEAH....depending on where you live, many places also have outdoor community pools that are very affordable. If you can get a mixed use lane (usually the middle of the pool between the kid area and lane swimming) you may be able to do your stuff OUTSIDE. Most pools don't advertise, but if the lifeguard is on board and you explain your situation and pass the basic pool safety stuff, they will usually let you. Most are okay with you having your own equipment as well even if policy states you can't. That would get you outdoors if you so choose. I am unsure how being in a gym environment allows you to better control things in response to pain. If you were in the pool, they often have ramps instead of steps to get out of the pool and bleachers or benches pool side you could sit in. They also have constant lifeguard monitoring, telephones, locker rooms, water, etc etc.
Sorry this got pretty long. I just fully support people in finding ability in disability. Just because you can't do what you did before and loved doing, doesn't mean you can't find new and different things to love. The pool could possibly give you the workout and DEFINITELY the physique you are looking for.
Best of luck...
It is great to hear this kind of enthusiasm, and encouragement! No, I haven't tried pool activities! Just swimming (which, yeah...). This isn't a service offered by my PT, but if it's out there, it's definitely something I'd like to at least try I'm in Canada, and we do have pools Thank you for sharing!
(Also: I would love to actually get a solid workout in. It's good to know that it's possible to build/maintain muscle this way. I'm pretty vain, so that definitely appeals )
Water jogging is the bomb if you get a waterproof mp3 player, just sayin' It's an amazing workout that works a whack of muscle groups.
In following up on what the poster above said, look around for gymns in your area that might have arthritis therapy centers. There's one near me attached to a medical building. I'm joining them in November when my current gym contract expires. They have four pools!
I hear you. It sounds like you've come to a point that anyone with a chronic issue does, that of running into your boundaries. None of us like being reminded they're there, because they shift our focus from can to can't.
It honestly sounds like you just need some time to find some new goals and activities. To find new cans so you'll be able to get your mojo back.
Hang in there.
Thanks. I'll for sure be looking into water activities as well. Yeah, the "can'ts" are hard to take, definitely. I think also comparing myself to super fit people (as is kind of inevitable in certain contexts, e.g. this board) is maybe a bad idea
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CurlyCockney wrote: »I am so sorry you are going through this. I'm not as brave as you - I think that if I started ranting I'd never stop (same with crying) - but I do know exactly how you feel.
Have you ever read Spoon Theory? It is relevant to so many conditions/illnesses, although I'm sick of running out of spoons and having to change plans.
I haven't, and wow, that is a great analogy. And a tremendously useful way to approach managing energy and time. I don't always do a great job of that, and that's a super helpful way of thinking it through, even for myself. Thank you for sharing this.0 -
@CurlyCockney I got you on the spoon theory. though convincing loved ones about the underlying principle has been unsuccessful so far
for the op
bellydancing could be a great idea, poi spinning, or hooping.
water aerobics or water jogging could work.
Nice ideas, thank you
I'm lucky in that the people closest to me are now used to my tagging myself out of activities or needing help with things. There was a while there where they thought I might be wimping out, but having seen me through several injuries in a short period, they're not total jerks about it any more.
Sorry you haven't had that experience 0 -
You are wherevery you are. I started as a couch potato and have gone at a pretty reasonable rate in the gym at things. Have had some injuries, rotator cuff, musle tears, lower back, fingers etcm but on the whole ive been very responsible and monitored my health well buy listening to my body. This has helped me minimise the impact of any injury and made the turnaround pretty quick. Ive not needed to see the Dr and rest even if it was taking ten days off, has been sufficient for me to keep going. As soon as I get a niggle im aware of it, keep an eye on it and if it escalates then I stop or at least am careful im not going to make it worse. Form tends to be very important.
I also think cooling down helps. So in answer to your question when over 30 are you constantly carrying injuries? No, just niggles and tweaks which i will act on to try and prevent it becoming an injury. Some of them are just part of putting in the hours over the week and pishing your body. Listening to your body , cooling down healing up properly and common sense help minimise downtime.
Sound advice I do sometimes skimp on cooldowns, it's true. I do try to watch form as well as I can, and definitely stop when I get pain. Things just happen unexpectedly sometimes, though (even when I'm not acting like a fool). Hopefully, if I can get some guidance on really solid prehab as well as rehab, I'll be able to minimize that. 0 -
azulvioleta6 wrote: »How common are musculoskeletal issues among recreationally active people over 30? Does everyone who's slightly more than sedentary have something going on? When i'm good, I can dance, that's the only fun thing that seems to not cause problems. Which is great but it's only a night-time thing, and the people I used to dance with are no longer up for late nights (babies).
Ha ha...I'm with you there! I just dance with people in their 20s and 30s and the few people like me who are still active and able to do late nights even though we are older.
I've been having a hard time with breaking teeth and bones over the last year--in my case it's less of an age thing than a function of a rare health problem that I have--not EDS. I have backed off competitive sports a bit because I can't do them casually--I have to compete in order for it to be fun. I would love to do something like roller derby, but I just can't because I know that the injuries and healing time would be too much for me to deal with.
It sounds like you need to find more low-impact activities. Do you swim?
Lol - thank you for that, glad I'm not alone My awols were the young ones, ha!
That sucks, about the issues you've been having with your bones and teeth Sorry to hear that Are you getting good care, at least?
Totally hear you about needing an element of competition to have a good time. Good for you for saying no to roller derby, that'd be a hard thing to turn down. Dancing's good too, though
I don't swim right now, really, because of my shoulder. Sometimes I try to get a few easy laps in, mostly using a kickboard, just to loosen up my muscles the day after a "workout". It's more like paddling around I've had some good suggestions here for alternatives, though
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kellycasey5 wrote: »I like the activity ideas and finding stuff you can do.
BUT....have you taken time to really think about why you are overdoing it? WHY you push when you reached an inch and want the mile? WHY you go to the point of pain and injury and need to take 3 weeks off? WHY you aren't happy with your modified squats? WHY you are impatient? WHY you are fighting yourself so hard over a disease your body has? WHY can't you accept your limit yet? (I don't mean any harshness or insincerity, rather I mean for you to think about it...is it denial? pride? personal goals and achievements? desire? drive? physical gains? everyone has a reason....all of us are different....but it is worth thinking about!) The chronic illness for everyone has a line in the sand, a line that can't be crossed without paying the price with our health. Some have a fixed line, some have a moving target, all struggle. The fact that you are frustrated and sharing is a good thing! It took me years to admit something was wrong health wise, and now years to get to the point where I am okay with talking about it.
First, I think you maybe should consider writing, because you've been brilliant here.
These are all *really good* questions. Thank you. I'll try to answer them…
I think I agree with @MamaBirdBoss, in that there's an interest/boredom factor Also I like to *feel* my muscles doing things, I'm used to the "burn" or whatever, but I guess my tendons and ligaments aren't really in a place to support the work required to do it. I feel like I've got tons of gas in the tank, and nowhere to go.
Also, I use vigorous cardio to regulate mood. It's a huge stress reliever for me. When I can do real workouts, no matter what I'm feeling going into the gym, I know I'll feel better and mentally lighter coming out. It's been the best and most effective method I've found so far for mental health self-care. Nothing else works as well or quickly. But, I guess I need to find other ways to manage that.
I think it's also a pent-up ****-u to time I've already lost. (1 year housebound because of an ankle injury, and shorter periods for other things). Kind of a rage against the dying of the light sort of thing.
On that theme, I'm going to turn 40 in six months, and there are a lot of things tied up with that. Some hopes and disappointments, loose ends to tie, urgent things to do I didn't manage to get done in my 20s and 30s, etc. Not feeling physically strong feels disempowering and like a(nother) loss. LIke I feel like I need to have physical strength as a basis for the other things I want/need to do, on a short timeline. There's so much I didn't do, and a lot I still want to do.
(Also, I'm a *woman* turning 40 in six months, which for me involves a different kind of raging against the dying light etc. that way (vanity). And I worry about the impact of all this on my personal life.)kellycasey5 wrote: »These types of illnesses in my experience are genetic and lifelong. Sometimes quiet, sometimes awake, ALWAYS a real m*&#erf%^ker. Only you know your body. And at some point you will realize that pushing yourself to pain and injury will eventually lead to a permanent injury. Don't do that....please don't! Also, the pushing buys you weeks+ of injury. Modified squats are a heck of a lot better than no squats, right?
Yes, you're right Some squats are better than none
The thing is, I don't actually have a disease. According to everyone, I'm just hyper mobile and "prone to injury". I guess being "prone to injury" is meaningful information in a way, but I've injured or reinjured myself doing things like housekeeping - things just seem to happen randomly.
So I don't always know what to expect, or how to prepare for it, or plan around it, or mitigate future injuries. I don't know how to plan for particular *movements*. And I have not really been able to get solid guidance from the medical care I've had so far.
That said, I definitely need to stop pushing it like an idiot sometimes, and should probably find someone to help me deal with my stabilizers, as makepeasnotwar recommended.kellycasey5 wrote: »If you are anything like me, you probably view your life with what I call the "used to blues". You used to do xyz, you used to have xyz kind of body, you used to lift xyz amount of weight, you used to run xyz far and xyz fast, you used to hike xyz miles with xyz elevation, you used to cycle xyz miles and xyz mph, you used to score xyz points at basketball and make xyz numbers of freethrows....etc etc etc. If you don't do that, if you can't reach that, you have failed. Or, the other thing is that I used to love a lot of the activities I did and so it was a natural thing to miss that large part of my life.
Definitely, yes.kellycasey5 wrote: »And, if you are anything like me, the best competition is yourself. Meet it or beat it used to be my personal motto. USED TO. I got so tired of the anxiety and depression, and so tired of beating myself up. Nobody else saw me as a failure. But I did.
Even worse, people pitied me. I hate the pity look more than I hate failing. **So time to find things that I am happy about and not get into the pity train. It leads nowhere fast.*** If people give me the pity look now, I shrug and can rattle off a list of things I did that week (my personal successes if you will).
That in itself is a huge accomplishment. That is the absolute right way to look at it.kellycasey5 wrote: »The key to this is REDEFINING SUCCESS. This meant taking some time to figure out what success was to me, what it looked like before, and what it will look like now. I used to think it was the career, the money, the lifestyle, getting married, buying a house, blah blah blah. Everything activity wise was bigger better faster stronger. AND ALL OF IT WAS NEVER ENOUGH. Met my goal? Great. On to the next. Didn't meet my goal? No excuses, try harder. GO BIG OR GO HOME wasn't just a work motto, it was a personal motto.
I feel I should be paying you for therapy at this point. Holy crap. Yes, you're right. You couldn't be righter.kellycasey5 wrote: »I can't try harder with my illness than I already am. I can't work harder, can't try harder, can't push harder. I can still be successful. For this, I had to think of myself in terms of being disabled. I HATE that. But I did. I acknowledged that I am disabled. Every day. Until I could think about it and not cry. Until the anger was gone. Until I could think it and breathe again. Until it just became a fact with no value judgement. No different that being 5'4, no different than having red hair. As simple as saying "I have a disease that has impacted my health and right now I am disabled." Probably not a big deal for anybody reading....but trust that my denial runs deep and it was much much harder than it sounds. I don't judge other people for their disabilities, and had to stop judging myself. The misery and depression was killing me from the inside, and the illness on the outside. Time to move on.
It sounds like it was very hard indeed. ♥kellycasey5 wrote: »Based on my old standards for myself, I could NEVER be successful now. I am 33. The thought of me always being a failure because I am sick seemed ludicrous after about 2 days. Pretty sure that I don't just quit and fail life bc I am disabled and have chronic disease without treatment or cure. And I am also certain that disabled people can be successful. Some aren't, but many are. So....it is a new idea of success for me. ***Each day I make a goal, 1 goal, that is achievable that day. One thing I can do that will make me proud of myself and feel successful.*** I am not trying to say that your illness or situation has left you disabled, but it does effect you.
This is resilience. Thank you for showing me what it looks like. This is profound.kellycasey5 wrote: »As far as my success goes, it varies and is small scale. So far examples have ranged from: getting out of bed, getting dressed, styling my hair, doing my makeup, getting my nails done, cooking a new healthy recipe, posting something positive on facebook, sharing my feelings with others, letting myself cry for 10 minutes, phoning a long lost friend, sending cards in the mail, doing as much of a 15 minute modified restorative yoga clip as I can, doing arm lifts and chest flies with my 3 pound weights, walking 3 blocks, pedaling slowly on my exercise bike for 5 minutes, marching in place for 5 minutes, etc etc etc. Every day it is based on how I am feeling, and every day it is something I would like to do that makes me feel good. Things I can do.
The first week I felt like a complete idiot. The second week I laughed bc all of my successes were things I used to do without thinking about. The third week I was already thinking about the things I could STILL do. Now when the drs start the boohoo pity party, I just quietly tell them that this week I made zucchini pad thai for my visiting family or that I did my own hair or whatever the recent success was. A far cry from the girl I used to be. And a far cry from the obese depressed anxious girl I turned into. So for me, it took a whopping 3 weeks. Cut the stress, cut a bunch of anxiety, and helps some with the depression. It certainly helps me have quality in my life.
I'm so glad for thatkellycasey5 wrote: »This is just a thought and something that has really helped me out. Granted, our situations are different. But I am certain that you will find a way to work with this and reach your goals! I'll send a friend request bc I am dying to see your progress
And seriously...I should consider writing novels bc wow does the post get long
Kellycasey5, you are just about the loveliest person I've met on a message board (and probably anywhere). I want you to know that what you've said is important - it's really hit me, in a bunch of ways. It's incredibly helpful. Thank you so much for taking the time to tell me your story, and what you've learned from it. I think you probably already help people in all kinds of ways, but I have to tell you, you have a real talent for it. Definitely a success.
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MamaBirdBoss wrote: »Does anyone else struggle with setting limits? I very often want to make up for lost time in, like, my first day of feeling reasonably good. Like after a few weeks off, I'll want to do 60+ minutes of cardio, at high resistance, with intervals. Or I'll be feeling ok after doing weeks of my safe partial squats, and then want to take my butt right to the ground. I do stop or modify the movement at the first sign of pain, but I can't help feeling the need to push myself.
I think I'm just in denial, at those times. Or I delude myself that I'm in my pre-injury body. I get an inch, and I want to take a mile.
How do you accept your limits, and stop feeling so impatient, or whatever it is that makes you do that kind of irrational stuff?
I carefully did 20% more per week to build strength and endurance. (Um...until I didn't and screwed myself up again, but please ignore that bit. LOL.) I like to be able to push, too.
Famous last words
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