Off topic... Any lawyers out there?

leavinglasvegas

I just recieved a court date to begin child support action. My daughter is 10, they JUST tracked him down. I have cooperated on my part, but he has been dodging them for 10 years. It was date rape and I didn't report it in time, I was young and stupid. He's not even on the birth certificate. From what they have told me, he neglected to show for previous court dates and blood tests. Therefore, they are ordering child support by his default. They also said the judge will not allow him any parental rights due to the circumstances.

I'm nervous and I don't know what to expect. I don't have an attorney or the money to pay for one. I don't even know if I need to hire one. I almost feel like its been 10 years and is it really worth the stress to fight? For my daughters sake, I think so... kind of. I'd like to make sure she knows medical history and such. And if there is money for her, I want her to have what I cannot provide, but I would do anything to provide for her by myself. I have thus far. I don't want him to be off the hook for what he did, yet again, is it worth it? I'm conflicted. Does anyone know how this works? They say they can't offer me any advise and I'm not sure who to ask.

HealthyChanges2010

Legal aide is likely a safer place to get help with legal issues than the internet. Just a thought:flowerforyou:

Legal Aide will at least give you support on what to do even if they can't take your case. I used them several times years ago and they were a tremendous help.

Glad they finally tracked him down!

I say it's most definitely worth it! You've shared you have a tough time making ends meet and are looking for work, sounds like this will really help the household. Your daughter deserves to know her history (medical history as you shared), he should not be allowed to not take care of his responsibilities.

It's natural that's you're scared and apprehensive but this is for your daughter and you to live a bit less stressfully. It's likely they will also make him responsible for her insurance and perhaps even her college. It depends alot on what state you live in.

Seriously at least give Legal Aide a call and they can give you advice with no cost to you at all.

Becca

leavinglasvegas

I called the legal aid in my county. They said they cannot take on any more family cases at this time. Not much help.

HealthyChanges2010

I called the legal aid in my county. They said they cannot take on any more family cases at this time. Not much help.

Oh I'm very sorry to hear that, pro bono is another route to take, many lawyers will do so many cases without cost. It's worth pulling out the phone book and checking, calling, checking with friends etc.

Good luck, you deserve this as much as your daughter and I don't necessarily mean the money.

A type of closure in a sense by finding him and making him responsible even if not for what he did to you.

amysj303

First off, let me say I am so sorry, this sounds like a total nightmare, and ten years coming! I am not a practicing attorney but this is a very unique situation. If he is not entitled to visitation and not contesting paternity, then it's just a matter of child support, which is just a formula based on wages (and visitation and other support in most other cases). Do you think they are going to charge him with the last ten years-did he know or was he dodging all this time?
I think your daughter is entitled to what she is owed, but sounds like blood from a turnip at this point, but he can be jailed for non-payment of child support so it might be enough to keep him paying, or if he is working you could set up garnishment after you get a judgment.

leavinglasvegas

Healthychanges- Thanks, I'll start calling around in the morning. Its worth a try I guess.

asjerven- He has been dodging them. They actually told me they were closing the case several years ago because they went to serve him and just kept running into dead ends. Like addresses that led to vacant houses in the ghetto. He knew all along. It was his own friend who tipped me off to the correct spelling of his last name and where his parents lived. Plus, I told him because he was stalking me for a while and I hoped he'd chill if he knew. I guess he chilled a little too much. I should have just reported him, but I never thought I'd wind up pregnant while in BC and while I was afraid of him, everyone else thought he was harmless. But nobody ever really knew the whole story, I was too ashamed. Probably the only thing in my life I regret because of how it affects my daughter. The support specialist told me that he was dodging another one too. Thats was how they connected him to me and reopened my case. I had no idea, I had long let it go actually. He's been in and out of jail, has a known drug problem, and hasn't filed taxes in years. The chances of me getting money may be slim. But in her words, "When his lifestyle kills him, at least theres his social security" Morbid and cold, but she was dead serious.

I guess closure is all I can expect at this point. I'm just a little scared to actually see him. Like I said, I had let this go years ago. I never thought this day would come, so I'm totally unprepared emotionally. So is my daughter. Shed love to meet him, but has had to come to understand the sad truth of the situation.

amysj303

Yes, so this is likely a formality to be endured. Be strong, you've been through so much already, this is almost nothing considering the effect (likely no money and nothing else to dispute at this point)!

nsking83

Wow...........what an ordeal...........................I'm an accountant, not a lawyer, but I'll be thinking about you. Keep us updated!

leavinglasvegas

Thanks guys. I just found out that I won't have to see him. They just want me present to provide some info and sign the order. I guess its already been decided. Kind of surreal, I guess. Of all the single moms I know I've never heard of anything being so easy and just happening out of the blue......... I'm just going to accept this as a blessing and move on. My nerves are bad enough as it is and I can't help but feel a little perplexed about this. Hopefully this is all this is going to be and we can just continue on and leave the past alone.

Thanks for all your info and support. Now, back to to eating healthy and exercise and happier topics