I lost my baby...

2

Replies

  • katejkelley
    katejkelley Posts: 839 Member
    I'm sorry about the loss of your baby. I know how devastating that is! You need to give yourself some time to grieve and to heal, both emotionally and physically. Even if you can't exercise, you can eat right. That will help you to heal and feel better about yourself. Once your doctor says it's ok, start exercising slowly - walking is always good. Don't overdo it. You need to take care of yourself so you'll be able to take care of a baby when the time comes!
  • CeddysMum
    CeddysMum Posts: 101 Member
    We haven't "met" as I'm quite new here but I am so very sorry for your loss! You and your partner are in my thoughts!
    Please try to be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to grieve and to recover. Everything else can wait right now ((hugs))
  • Becky_Smith72
    Becky_Smith72 Posts: 161 Member
    I'm so sorry for your loss. I've also experienced that and it is still painful. Many prayers for you.
  • bloominheck
    bloominheck Posts: 869 Member
    I am so so sorry for your loss. ((Hugs)) :cry:
  • sheldonz42
    sheldonz42 Posts: 233 Member
    It's not easy I lost my first pregnancy in september, and evidently thinking I'm pregnant I'm not according to recent HCG tests even though I havent had a period since March.

    Take time to grieve over the loss of your child. I like to think that our children were so delicate so fragile that this evil cruel world was too much for their little souls. However, he/she will be there for you to hold when your time on earth ends and youll be reunited forever.

    Cry...memorialize your child. Men do not understand dont expect it. We mother's with angel babies understand your loss and we all weep for you. Lots of hugs.

    Actually, some men do...
  • emibrus1
    emibrus1 Posts: 59
    Be kind to yourself. Be sloppy with logging and throw your guilt to the side. Heal your heart first...the body can wait a while longer.

    I am so very sorry for your loss <3
  • ksuetorres
    ksuetorres Posts: 139 Member
    I'm so sorry. Please be gentle with yourself and FOR SURE don't worry about your weight for a while. Grieving and coming to terms with this loss is your most important job right now.
  • Duck_Puddle
    Duck_Puddle Posts: 3,237 Member
    I am so very sorry for all you are going through. I had a miscarriage about 6 weeks ago, and the worst thing I did was try to get back to "normal" as soon as possible. Even though I physically felt fine, and my OB cleared me, it was a month before I could do things normally again (physically). I started seeing a therapist a couple of weeks ago and that has helped a lot on the emotional side. Take time to grieve, and forgive yourself. And you do not need to be strong for your partner. You need to feel what you need to feel. Please allow yourself to do that.
  • manders376
    manders376 Posts: 53 Member
    I too am so sorry for your loss and send much love and prayers to your and your partner.

    As others have said take time to heal and do not blame yourself. There is nothing you could have done. It is so unfortunate but for some reason miscarriages happen early in pregnancy sometimes for no known reason.
  • mvanzante
    mvanzante Posts: 8 Member
    Sorry if it's weird having a guy respond, but my wife is not on MFP. We went through 2 miscarriages back to back in 2012 and they were absolutely devastating, more so to my wife than myself. Recovery was not easy and while sometimes people said things that were helpful, often times things they said trying to comfort her only made her more upset. Grief is difficult and people don't always know how to help, but we learned to extend grace and realized people's good intentions when their words were offensive.

    For my wife it was especially hard for her to see other people post ultrasounds on Facebook or announce their pregnancy before the end of the first trimester without a care in the world. She had to stay off FB for a long time because it was not healthy for her.

    In my opinion, do what you need to distract yourself from the pain. Watch movies, read books... whatever things you love to do that don't require exercise. The heartbreak will take time to heal and you don't have to work through all at once.

    And, as you already said, do not blame yourself. There is no end to the questions you can plague yourself with - "What if I had done this or hadn't done that?" You will never know the answer to any of those questions and thinking it was somehow your fault will only make things worse.
  • dandelyon
    dandelyon Posts: 620 Member
    I'm so sorry for your loss.

    After I lost a baby, I tried to figure out what I did wrong and went a little crazy trying to fix my "broken" body - but it wasn't broken. Around 1/3 of pregnancies end in miscarriage, and they are not preventable.

    You may want to give yourself plenty of time to heal and grieve before moving forward with baby plans, as well. I know that I am glad we waited. (((hugs))) One of the things I did was plant a little lilac bush in the yard in memory of my lost baby. And know that it's normal for emotions to come on quickly. A friend announced her pregnancy and I said "congratulations" then turned the corner and burst into tears. Of course I was happy for her, it was just a sudden reminder. It's okay to feel that way...although confusing.
  • sweetcurlz67
    sweetcurlz67 Posts: 1,168 Member
    i always blame myself for this but i guess it won't help at all...so yeah i'm trying to take it easy on myself.

    Please don't blame yourself! I know it's easier said than done. Like many others, it's happened to me as well and I blamed myself as well. I had to constantly tell myself that there was something wrong with the pregnancy and God had a reason to take the baby. I may not understand it, however, there was a reason. A little over a year later I gave birth to my son who is truly my gift from God and the sunshine of my Life!

    It's a devastating time for you, you need time to grieve and heal. Just please remember: it is NOT YOUR FAULT!!!

    I'm praying for you sweetie.
  • Songbirdcw
    Songbirdcw Posts: 320 Member
    I'm so sorry for your loss. Praying for you and your family.
  • Lady_Chilli
    Lady_Chilli Posts: 161 Member
    An Angel In The Book Of Life
    Wrote Down My Baby's Birth..
    And Whispered As She Closed The Book....
    'Too Beautiful for Earth'

    So sorry for your loss sweety, stay strong, give yourself time to grieve and heal. xxx
  • obiegirl
    obiegirl Posts: 28
    First, I am so sorry for your loss. Second, know that it's not your fault. I had two miscarriages (and have two healthy girls as well), and always wanted to know what "I" did to cause it. But the truth is that I didn't do anything; I wasn't in control of what happened. Take the time you need, don't shut yourself off, be good to yourself. Communicate with your partner.

    I let myself go during the time I had my two miscarriages. I figured that if my body was turning on me by miscarrying, why should I take care of it? I wish I hadn't done that; I wish I had been able to nurture my body with good food, exercise, and more productive ways to ease stress.

    I wish you all the best, and know that there are many, many others who have been in this boat and who have come out the other side. You're not alone.
  • soxfan2184
    soxfan2184 Posts: 48
    Im sorry for your loss,i know exactly how you feel.
  • meldel49
    meldel49 Posts: 30 Member
    It is physically and mentally devastating whether you lose a baby through miscarriage or as a stillborn at birth. It is difficult when people say" don't worry you will have another one, or there was a deformity that is why you miscarried." You need to deal with the emotional part of it since it is a loss. Take your time and hoping you have good support to help you through this trying time. I had two and now I still think of it at times. I was lucky since I did have three children after that. :flowerforyou:
  • whizzlers
    whizzlers Posts: 101 Member
    Didn't want to read and run but I just don't know what to say ....

    I am so so sorry for your loss

    Sod the diet - look after yourself.

    Agree with this - I am so sorry, look after yourself.

    (((hugs))) xxxx
  • AlbaAngel25
    AlbaAngel25 Posts: 484 Member
    Im so sorry for your loss . I will pray for you
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    It's not easy I lost my first pregnancy in september, and evidently thinking I'm pregnant I'm not according to recent HCG tests even though I havent had a period since March.

    Take time to grieve over the loss of your child. I like to think that our children were so delicate so fragile that this evil cruel world was too much for their little souls. However, he/she will be there for you to hold when your time on earth ends and youll be reunited forever.

    Cry...memorialize your child. Men do not understand dont expect it. We mother's with angel babies understand your loss and we all weep for you. Lots of hugs.

    Actually, some men do...

    Sorry youre right some men actually do feel the pain and hold their wives closer and yearn for that lost child. I was completely basing this off my own experience when at 3am I was alone in the bathroom with only the dog to comfort me doubled over in the worst pain of my life covered in blood. I never got a hug, but just a half *kitten* I'm sorry. I've had to mourn on my own, but he remembers his exwife's miscarriage.

    Sorry to steal your post OP. Once again lots of hugs and thoughts to you.
  • sheldonz42
    sheldonz42 Posts: 233 Member
    It's not easy I lost my first pregnancy in september, and evidently thinking I'm pregnant I'm not according to recent HCG tests even though I havent had a period since March.

    Take time to grieve over the loss of your child. I like to think that our children were so delicate so fragile that this evil cruel world was too much for their little souls. However, he/she will be there for you to hold when your time on earth ends and youll be reunited forever.

    Cry...memorialize your child. Men do not understand dont expect it. We mother's with angel babies understand your loss and we all weep for you. Lots of hugs.

    Actually, some men do...

    Sorry youre right some men actually do feel the pain and hold their wives closer and yearn for that lost child. I was completely basing this off my own experience when at 3am I was alone in the bathroom with only the dog to comfort me doubled over in the worst pain of my life covered in blood. I never got a hug, but just a half *kitten* I'm sorry. I've had to mourn on my own, but he remembers his exwife's miscarriage.

    Sorry to steal your post OP. Once again lots of hugs and thoughts to you.

    I am sorry you had that experience.
  • taitmamly
    taitmamly Posts: 19
    Oh honey :(

    I'm sure that being a nurse you already know this but it doesn't hurt to keep repeating yourself. I know it's hard but what's really important to remember is that this isn't your fault. Exercise does not usually cause miscarriage in the first trimester so long as you're not over-doing it and since you're still having regular periods its safe to say you're not. It's horribly upsetting but you have to keep reminding yourself that chances were it was an unviable embryo which sucks but happens. Right now you need to take care of yourself, not push the exercise too much so your body can heal and keep up with the iron tablets and healthy eating so your body has what it needs. Make sure your partner is taking good care of you and be gentle to yourself for a little while. I know it's frustrating and disappointing right now, but I promise you'll feel better soon x
  • RushBabe214
    RushBabe214 Posts: 469 Member
    I am so very sorry for your loss.
  • runsandjumps
    runsandjumps Posts: 19 Member
    I am so sorry. I am sending you some healing thoughts. We are all here for you.
  • mizpoke
    mizpoke Posts: 171 Member
    So sorry for your loss. Sending you good wishes for your physical and emotional well-being.
  • kazaroona
    kazaroona Posts: 60 Member
    This thread made me cry a little, I am so sorry for you and I know how you feel. I mc at 9 weeks, and had been trying for a year and I saw mine too. Physically and emotionally both some of the worst pain I have ever had. Its so difficult, that was Easter weekend and I am really struggling every day to get past it.

    As for weight loss, dont worry about that, I piled on the weight and it has literally been this past 1-2 weeks that I have managed to get back on the diet wagon. I am convinced that running made me loose mine, as I felt a really sharp, prolonged pain when running and I later found out it was around that time that the baby stopped growing.

    I have found the 'coping with miscarriage' forums on Baby centre really really helpful as there are other people that understand and you can say things that you probably couldnt say elsewhere.
  • Annie83uk
    Annie83uk Posts: 128
    so sorry for your loss, hope everything works out for you xx:heart:
  • jellyjojo
    jellyjojo Posts: 39 Member
    so sorry for your loss x
  • sunshinesquared
    sunshinesquared Posts: 2,733 Member
    So very sorry for your loss! Thoughts, hugs and prayers!!! Please take care of yourself!
  • tinak33
    tinak33 Posts: 9,883 Member

    Cry...memorialize your child. We mother's with angel babies understand your loss and we all weep for you. Lots of hugs.


    That is heartbreakingly beautiful....



    OP, I'm so sorry for your loss. Take the time to grieve. Don't worry about the diet. Take the time to heal. You and your partner need it. :flowerforyou:

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