When your family holds you back
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BumbleBreeBuzz
Posts: 83 Member
Does anyone else struggle with eating right with their family around? I am a college student home for the summer. I eat pretty well when I am at school. I'm currently not working so i don't have much to do during the day. But my family makes it extra hard for me to stay on track. They are constantly eating out or cooking fried foods. My family also all has a sweet tooth and are always offering me cookies or ice cream. Then we sit on the couch watching tv for hours. How do i resist the temptations when my family ALWAYS offers it?
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I'm no expert, but I feel your pain. I have struggled with this trap forEVER! The best solution I have found is prevention. If tv time is hard then make healthy snack packs with ziplock bags in the fridge...once a week or every few days just make a bunch, set them in the fridge in a cute little basket or bowl of some kind and when they offer you junk you grab a bag instead! That way you're not denying yourself, but you also don't have to stop everything to make yourself a separate 'some-assembly-required' snack on the spot. Hope it helps!0
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I don't have this problem too much...though I did have one distant relative comment on my weight loss by saying "anorexia is around the corner". It hurt; I definitely do not and have never suffered from an ED, and they were making a blanket statement assumption to a year of slow progress and being mindful of making sustainable changes.
My family is relatively good at making good food choices; switching from white to grain bread, reading labels, ect. They still do make decadant homemade stuff from time to time (like scalloped potatoes, lasagna, and really nice barbeque foods), but I make sure to plan for those splurges, and don't get a lot of push back for it.
If I was in that scenario, I would just say "no". No is a complete sentence, and you don't need to offer an explanation if you don't want to. If you don't want to eat the cookies or ice cream, they need to respect that you want to make changes that are good for you. You can still have what they're having; just have less to make it fit into your day. One thing I've noticed (since I've lurked these forums for a long time), is generally family acts like that when one member makes a sudden change, is getting results, and they aren't willing to do that work. That family member is okay with saying "no" to that extra slice of pizza when they know they aren't hungry anymore, or want to substitute vegetables to up their fiber for the day, instead of ordering mac and cheese as a side. It's not literal sabotage all the time, but it can be really subtle attempts to derail you. And it can come from not fully understanding, rather than malice.
If you're getting push back, or keep getting offers that you are continually refusing, you can try to explain that you're trying to make better choices for yourself. Invite them along on a walk. Get involved with the cooking process, and have them try new things that you're eating, especially since you have some free time this summer away from school and work. You might be able to influence them to make small changes too!0 -
tell them to *kitten* off
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When I got down to my goal weight of a healthy 125, I got attacked by all my family that I am anorexic and I need help... my mother would call my boyfriend and ask him to feed me "bread and milk" so I don't die0
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Omg, I had an incident tonight. They ordered Pizza Hut, and I gave in, then had to walk my butt off to compensate. Smh they're not supportive at all when it comes to adjusting their eating habits, so I'm in this alone.0
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I'm still learning how to deal with it, but the only advice I can give is: don't beat yourself up if you slip up and try some preemptive strikes (ie, have healthy food choices on deck in the event they want to eat crappy around you...devour lots of good fruit and veggies to make yourself feel full if needed).0
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baby05phat wrote: »When I got down to my goal weight of a healthy 125, I got attacked by all my family that I am anorexic and I need help... my mother would call my boyfriend and ask him to feed me "bread and milk" so I don't die
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6zaVYWLTkU 0 -
What's worked for me is "lying." In my experience, people get offended when you say "I can't eat that because I'm watching my weight," or something along those lines. It's almost as though they feel you're saying there's something wrong with their food, or that you're "too good" for their food. It's been amazing, but instead of saying "I can't eat that, I'm watching my weight," I say something like "I'm in this competition back at work/school/wherever to see who can lose the most weight. The winner gets $500." In my circles, friends and family take A LOT better when I frame it that way, as opposed to simply saying "I'm not going to eat that because I'm watching my weight."
I think it's because they get to rationalizing it by thinking "there's nothing wrong with the food, so there's nothing wrong with me for eating it. He/She isn't refusing to eat it because they don't want to. They absolutely want to, but they're trying to win this $500. As soon as that's over with, they'll be back to eating." So may be tell them that you're in a contest and the person that gains the least amount of weight over summer break wins the money when returning to school. This gives you an "excuse" to eat well the entire summer. Then you can simply say "I didn't win" if asked about the outcome.0 -
I went into this with the mindset that I was going to have to do this on my own, and that is wasn't fair to expect anyone else to change just because I was. You have to learn that you alone are in control of your actions. You don't HAVE to take the cookie or watch TV for hours just because it's what your family is doing.0
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BumbleBreeBuzz wrote: »I eat pretty well when I am at school. I'm currently not working so i don't have much to do during the day. But my family makes it extra hard for me to stay on track. They are constantly eating out or cooking fried foods. My family also all has a sweet tooth and are always offering me cookies or ice cream. Then we sit on the couch watching tv for hours. How do i resist the temptations when my family ALWAYS offers it?
Oh boy do I know that feel.
So when I was seventeen I decided "hey, I'm kinda overweight here and need to start losing." I was 196 lbs. Moreover, further inspiration, was looking at a picture I took of myself getting ready for cosplay where I realized just how large and round my face was. I couldn't blame it on the angle of the picture or anything like that; just myself and my (and my dad and stepmom's) eating habits.
One day I made the decision to give up soda. That small change was enough to shed a couple of pounds a month. Nothing drastic, but it was something. I would also start eating salads and less food at school because frankly if I ate a big meal I would regret it because at home it was fast food and take-out every night.
Two Big Macs, a large fri, and a large coke (they didn't notice I was attempting to lose weight and change my lifestyle until closer to me moving out); who needs all that? That's like, 2000 calories right there.
The only advice I really have to offer, if you're lookin' for it that is, is turn down their offers, even if it might offend them--I know that feeling too; my mom's friend got really butthurt when one day I finally decided to watch out for myself and not his feelings by declining the ice cream cone he made me, that I didn't even know he was making, and threw a hissy fit saying he'll never offer me anything again-- and eat only until you're full.
Sorry about your family friend-o. Good luck!0 -
My mother has a serious sweet tooth (it's getting to be a bit of a problem, but of course she "doesn't see it that way" but that's another thing). As a result, there's ALWAYS candy in the house. I have gotten better at not taking any (too often, it's a daily struggle, but I have managed to stop eating everything but chocolate) and I have talked to her a lot and a lot and a lot about not keeping candy out and so available (my younger sister tells her the same when she visits) she does it for maybe a day and then forgets about it and starts over.
And because I have eaten it in the past, even though she *knows* I'm trying to eat healthily, she still expects me to eat it and is surprised that it's still there in the morning.
So I feel your pain! It's hard enough to resist those trigger foods in the store when you're grocery shopping, but then to come home to a bowl of your favourite chocolate candies, after you've spent what feels like the last of your resilience, it's not exactly a great feeling.
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BumbleBreeBuzz wrote: »Does anyone else struggle with eating right with their family around? I am a college student home for the summer. I eat pretty well when I am at school. I'm currently not working so i don't have much to do during the day. But my family makes it extra hard for me to stay on track. They are constantly eating out or cooking fried foods. My family also all has a sweet tooth and are always offering me cookies or ice cream. Then we sit on the couch watching tv for hours. How do i resist the temptations when my family ALWAYS offers it?
These are things that are very easy to change for you. You don't *have* to sit and watch TV for hours. Nobody is making you sit there surrounded by foods except yourself.
Go out, take a walk, do something. When you come back then perhaps you will have burned off enough calories to sit and enjoy a cookie or two with your family and everyone will be happy.
Beyond that, as someone above said, no one is forcing you to eat anything offered to you. You need to take responsibility for yourself (make your own food perhaps?)0 -
MonsoonStorm wrote: »BumbleBreeBuzz wrote: »Does anyone else struggle with eating right with their family around? I am a college student home for the summer. I eat pretty well when I am at school. I'm currently not working so i don't have much to do during the day. But my family makes it extra hard for me to stay on track. They are constantly eating out or cooking fried foods. My family also all has a sweet tooth and are always offering me cookies or ice cream. Then we sit on the couch watching tv for hours. How do i resist the temptations when my family ALWAYS offers it?
These are things that are very easy to change for you. You don't *have* to sit and watch TV for hours. Nobody is making you sit there surrounded by foods except yourself.
Go out, take a walk, do something. When you come back then perhaps you will have burned off enough calories to sit and enjoy a cookie or two with your family and everyone will be happy.
Beyond that, as someone above said, no one is forcing you to eat anything offered to you. You need to take responsibility for yourself (make your own food perhaps?)
I'm going to go with @MonsoonStorm here.
Unless, of course, your family is holding you hostage, is force feeding you while taped down to the couch and has briefly allowed you internet access to check email and you have chosen instead to make this a cry for help.
Your best course of action is to just get up and move. Move where you might ask? Anywhere other than surrounded by temptation. Walk around the block a dozen times, move to another room and do crunches and push-ups, move to the grocery store and pick out healthy alternatives to their snacks (if family bonding is really that important to you).
You have the ability to make your own choices and by asking the question, I think you already knew the answer. You just needed us to confirm it for you.
Good Luck!0 -
Can you speak with them? Explain them you want to change your lifestyle. If I was you, I will take my headphones and go for a long walk. Cook your own food, bake, steam and boil instead of frying.0
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Sorry, but take responsibility. You are using them as a crutch and holding yourself back. You cnat expect the world to stop just becayse you decide to go on a diet and eat less. Make your own food and control what you decide to eat.0
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MonsoonStorm wrote: »BumbleBreeBuzz wrote: »Does anyone else struggle with eating right with their family around? I am a college student home for the summer. I eat pretty well when I am at school. I'm currently not working so i don't have much to do during the day. But my family makes it extra hard for me to stay on track. They are constantly eating out or cooking fried foods. My family also all has a sweet tooth and are always offering me cookies or ice cream. Then we sit on the couch watching tv for hours. How do i resist the temptations when my family ALWAYS offers it?
These are things that are very easy to change for you. You don't *have* to sit and watch TV for hours. Nobody is making you sit there surrounded by foods except yourself.
Go out, take a walk, do something. When you come back then perhaps you will have burned off enough calories to sit and enjoy a cookie or two with your family and everyone will be happy.
Beyond that, as someone above said, no one is forcing you to eat anything offered to you. You need to take responsibility for yourself (make your own food perhaps?)
Yep. Also, maybe look into volunteer work. Do something you can put on a resume.0
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