Fun things you said at labor

sugaree1202

I didn't have and epidural............ you can imagine that I didn't say funny things though

Me either for my second. I did hear my midwife tell a nurse "Will you close the door already? She's screaming so loud, she's going to scare the expectant mothers touring the birthing suites!" I remember wanting to laugh but it coming out as a scream instead. I vaguely remember saying things like "Make it stop" "get this kid out of me" and "I'm done, I'm going home, I'm not having this baby today"

My midwife was the best. During labor with my first child, one of the nurses kept counting rèally loud when I was pushing and it was pissing me off. I didn't say anything but I guess my face said it all because my midwide told her to shut up or leave lol.

PeanutButterLuver

This might be TMI but here goes...

I was terrified of pooping during delivery. I remember asking my husband.. 'Did I just poop?!?' Of course he replied no
And .. Yup... I popped!! It ain't easy pushing a 10 lb 4 oz baby out!!

So glad I didn't eat that corn on the cob the night before. Lmao

PeanutButterLuver

Pooped not popped.

askeates

For the first child, labor & delivery was blissfully quick... so quick I almost didn't make it to the hospital. I remember the nurse telling me not to push because my Dr wasn't there yet, I looked at her and said (this quote is partially remembered and partially from my ex hubby filling me in), "Get down there and catch B!@#$" LOL

The second child was rather large (almost 10 lbs), and the poor Dr was getting ready to go on his dinner break... he came to see how things were progressing and as he was going to check my water broke and suddenly the contractions were on top of each other. He said, "ok April, I really need my dinner, can you hold on for a little bit?" And I pretty much told him the same thing I told the first nurse with a little additional, "Are you F!@$#% kidding me?? Get down there and catch!!!"

My last child, it was the tech that was with me that was hysterical (and a good friend). Since I was alone this time around, and was freaking out because I knew something was wrong (she was a month early)... My Tech looked at me and said, "Get your S@#$ together and be the strong B@#$% I know you are!!!!"

Sorry for all the explatives

SlimJanette

With my oldest I was in hard labour for 19 hours so the nurse gave me the oxygen mask. She told my husband to put it on my fast every few seconds. He had it held to my face so tight I could barely breath. I told the nurse that she had better make room in the morgue because I was going to kill him. After pushing for so long I started to go into shock. The Dr. told me to push and I said No thanks, i'm done. He stood up and said pardon? I swung my legs around and got off the bed and told him that I was going home. He told me that If I didn't get back on the bed that he would restrain me down. So I complied with lying down but I wouldn't push. He told my husband that he had better sign the forms for the epideral because something happens to the baby. I told him if he signed them I would break every finger on his hands. So my mom signed the forms...lol

With my youngest we were driving on the highway to meet my mom to drop my oldest off to her. My mom was about an hour and a half from our house and the hospital was about another 1.5hrs. It was pouring rain and I got out of the car to tell my mom that I would not make it to the hospital and the baby's head came out. I ran back to the car holding her head and told my ex he better go to this hospital as she was already on her way. We pulled up to the hospital and I am holding her head and trying to get my oldest out of her carseat. The security guard (old old man) asked if there was an issue. I said no, I am just going to get her out and then I am going to delivery the rest of this baby. He panics and runs, grabs the wheel chair and wheels me in. No doctor (small town) so my husband delivers the baby. The doctor finally comes, takes a look at me and says..I can throw a stitch in there if you want. I said...No it is ok, you didn't do anything before, why bother now.

xvxCelticWandererxvx

I'm so hungry!!!

It's funny because who would want to eat then right? But, the doc had me off of food for over 24 hours.

BinaryPulsar

I also did not have meds, so I don't think I said anything funny. But, the first time I said, "It's ok, I'm ok. I can handle this because I'm just never going to do it again". That did cause people to laugh because they knew I would have more children. I also remember while pushing saying over and over, "What if I'm not a good mother?" And everyone was saying, "You don't have to worry about that. You already are a good mother, already."

And the second time when it was time to push I remembered the first time and said, "No, I don't want to do it this time." The second one was at home and I have a pic in my profile of me nursing my baby right after the birth.

Fitnin6280

With my oldest, I was in the middle of pushing, and the nurse told my husband to say something to make me mad so I would push harder (I didn't hear her say this to him). So he told me "good grief would you hurry up already, I am getting hungry!" I about came unglued!!!!! But I think it worked, because I had the baby just a couple of minutes later. lol.

lorieric5037

Don't really remember saying anything in particular, but during the birth of my 4th daughter I nearly pulled my husband's ears off!:explode:

katy_trail

I don't remember saying anything funny, but with my first, I remember being really happy and a little drowsy, and talking to my family and they thought I was funny. Later on, when there were contractions, the nurses were saying how good it was that I wasn't screaming like the other ladies we could hear through the walls. I'm just so caught up in what's going on, to scream, and knew that it wouldn't make me feel better anyway.

Funniest thing is that my sons were both born already fitting into 3 month old clothes. We joke that my second son looked like a sumo wrestler next to all these other babies, all swole lol, and he weighed as much as 2 twins there put together.

sugaree1202

My fiance had some classic guy responses to me being in labor:

He went to get dinner 24 hours into me being induced with our first. When I finally got in touch with him 2 hours after leaving for a "quick dinner" and told him to get back to the hospital since my labor was moving along he responded "I'll leave as soon as I finish this game of pool".

Labor for our second started on its own. I waited a few hours after my water broke and realized we're going to deliver our daughter on the side of the highway if we don't leave now since the hospital is an hour away. I informed my fiance we need to go NOW! Calm as anything he says "Can we stop for hot wings on the way there?"

CallMeCupcakeDammit

This might be TMI but here goes...

I was terrified of pooping during delivery. I remember asking my husband.. 'Did I just poop?!?' Of course he replied no
And .. Yup... I popped!! It ain't easy pushing a 10 lb 4 oz baby out!!

So glad I didn't eat that corn on the cob the night before. Lmao

I asked for an enema. So it wasn't really anything fun that I said, it was more me sitting in the bathroom laughing my *kitten* off because of what happened after the enema, with the nurse, my husband, mom and whoever else standing outside the bathroom door. I'm sooo mature. :bigsmile: Also, no epidural, because my two biggest fears were being paralyzed and pooping in my doctor's face. My gyno said he appreciated it.

jenbit

With my daughter I told the nurse to give e a very low doese of Morphine while waiting for the epidural because I have a low drug tolerance.. Appereantly she winked at my then husband and gave me a full dose... I remember my brother walking in and going I see the problem your knocked up and dieing laughing.......By the time they came to put the epidural in a couldnt sit up straight and the nurse had to hold me upright cause I kept leaning to the left...

With my son the doctor left the room and all of a sudden it was baby time...I told the nurse to go get the doctor or cath the baby her D@mned self cause it was time

michellechawner

My poor husband asked me (for about the 25th time) if I was having a contraction. (DUH!) I finally said "No! I'm having a f*****g orgasm! "

^^^:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

^^ OMFG I'm crying I'm laughing so hard!!!

bsuew

With my first son I was only 22 years old. Had never been around anyone that had been in labor but my best friends sister. She was in labor 42 hours with her first and 30+ with her second. So I thought that was "normal". So, I had one contraction at 9pm and my water broke at 1:05. I wasn't in a hurry to get to the hospital that was 30 minutes away. I called the doc when my water broke and he said meet him at the hospital. I said ok. I took a bath (because I'd made a mess) and wasn't in any hurry. I got to the hospital at 3:50 and he was all over me about where I'd been. I told him I wasn't hurrying. He said he figured that out. at 4:04 I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. I just about didn't make it to the hospital. With my other 2 children I came to find out that I have back pressure not labor. So when the time came I didn't take my time. 3 hrs for my first 1 hour for my second and almost 5 hours for our third. I was blessed not much time for anything to be said.

Cadori

2 med free births.

First labor: in between contractions I kept apologizing to the nurses for any inconvenience I was causing.

After first birth: "Did I poop?"

Getting numbing shot to get stitched up after first birth I said "Ow!": and my Dr glanced up and said "THIS you complain about? Labor and delivery you say nothing and you can't take a needle?" In my defense that shot burned like a mother!

Second labor: it didn't really start getting intense until the last centimeter so I asked the nurse if she thought I had that thing where people don't feel pain.

weese17

"Ok I change my mind, I don't think this is the right time to have a baby. Lets go home."

During the pushing stage of (unmedicated) labor with my 10 pound son: "I CHANGED MY MIND. I don't want this baby!"

So, yep. I hear you.

sewerchick93

I was very calm during the whole thing, no drugs either. Every time the lab came in to do blood work or the nurses came in to check on me, I always thanked them when they were leaving. During the delivery, I was sooo quiet, the nurses kept telling me, "it's ok to make noise and be loud"

AlsDonkBoxSquat

I told the doctor to make sure she gave me a good 4 feet and had her catcher's mit at the ready to catch the baby 'cause it's coming out fast.

weese17

Labor for our second started on its own. I waited a few hours after my water broke and realized we're going to deliver our daughter on the side of the highway if we don't leave now since the hospital is an hour away. I informed my fiance we need to go NOW! Calm as anything he says "Can we stop for hot wings on the way there?"

Hah -- that was ME during my second labor! I was having contractions about 1 minute long and 2 minutes apart or so, but they didn't hurt at all (just like period cramps), so I figured I couldn't be far along. Matt wanted us to get to the hospital asap, and I slow rolled him, and then made him stop for Dunkin' Donuts on the way! I was standing at the counter, beaming, humming and swaying while I ordered two doughnuts. The clerk was staring at me, and Matt said, "Yeah, she's in labor." Never been served so fast.

Got to the hospital - found out I was 7 cm!