How would you like to be told you are FAT? Overweight!!?, OBESE?, Anorexic?
111grace
Posts: 382 Member
Write down ways that you would like to be told to do something about your weight? (or what ever your issue is! Alcoholic, disgusting smoker/murderer killing others by secondary smoking, drugs) What would make you listen? so you can get it through your head and make a change, what would it take? and what did it take to get you started?
Most of us know we got so busy on other things we did not notice, or noticed and was not important enough, or something else was worse (pain/suffering), stress, false comfort, or what ever that got us to such a bad place of poor health!! Unhealthy zone weight!! Being overweight is like being slowly being lead to ones own self destruction.
- Would you like tough love?
1 you are wider than me?
2. double chin?
3. from the back you have an *kitten* and then another *kitten* below that, sank to another level?
- Laughed at?
4. yo Mama jokes? child telling you other kids told him, yo mama jokes?
5. how do I look in this dress, ugly?
6. throw a fat party / intervention, and everyone scream (0) you are fat instead of surprise?
7. You looking gross & stupid!! hiding in a fat dress, do you think people still cannot tell you are fat? dumbass?
8.Be told by Your Mother.
9. Be told by friends, significant other, how must they tell you?
10. Like you are wearing stupid on your sleeve? your arms are wings flapping?
11. Be told by Strangers, stopping you in the street & saying, Jesus said I must tell you you are fat do something about it?
12. You have disgusting breath ( smokers, ketoers etc) whatever is the way you would like to have been told?
13. For me being busy, company, lets go walking together, being more active, adventurous, family keeping busy great company. since family turned out to be the problem, & the solution, this turned into a double edged sword!!, Until I decided to do it for myself, Love myself, stand up for myself & not let others crap on my space, speak up immediately.
Focusing on myself, learning to love myself first in positive & happy ways. Letting go of the excuses & doing for myself & by myself.
14. And know that all have sinned against themselves, when they sin against others, & keep quite is also a sin, because people think thats okay to treat you that way, they get away with it. Learning to put a stop to ugly behavior or walking away. Letting go of the world. Sometimes people are just mirrors to what needed to change within yourself.
15. Waiting for Karma to get them.
16. Because you hear hear here lots of people hated to be insulted, what would it have taken, for you to make a change & have gotten it sooner?
17. Me, it would have better to have a job outside the house, would have kept me busy & engaged, & not pain focused. and small changes add up, like 2 minutes of exercise done everyday is and are better than 1 hour once a year.
18. Knowledge is power, educating yourself. Better now than never. Question is prayer a solution? Does God help those who help themselves? Is God part of the solution or part of the problem?
Hope this debate turns out interesting and engaging, its not intended to put down anybody, but to help us heal, and in healing ourself we blaze a trail for others. Leaving a better History behind and being a part of the solution rather than a part of the problem.
Its been a long road for me with much to still learn. The hardest for me was getting my heart and mind to work together & in the game, rather than be a spectator, ( watching movies ( a happy place & eating junk) & escaping the cruelties of this world, but letting the joys of experiencing life escape me, which is the same as being stuck, being stagnant, or was it just a long overdue time of rest & reflection?)
Focusing on the positive: Now a new season, a new healthy body, eating healthy, making activity fun always, and producing art to add value to myself and God's Kingdom,
and not the negative!! : letting go, because we leave everything behind & all life turns too dust.
Have a wonderful day
Grace {{ }}
Most of us know we got so busy on other things we did not notice, or noticed and was not important enough, or something else was worse (pain/suffering), stress, false comfort, or what ever that got us to such a bad place of poor health!! Unhealthy zone weight!! Being overweight is like being slowly being lead to ones own self destruction.
- Would you like tough love?
1 you are wider than me?
2. double chin?
3. from the back you have an *kitten* and then another *kitten* below that, sank to another level?
- Laughed at?
4. yo Mama jokes? child telling you other kids told him, yo mama jokes?
5. how do I look in this dress, ugly?
6. throw a fat party / intervention, and everyone scream (0) you are fat instead of surprise?
7. You looking gross & stupid!! hiding in a fat dress, do you think people still cannot tell you are fat? dumbass?
8.Be told by Your Mother.
9. Be told by friends, significant other, how must they tell you?
10. Like you are wearing stupid on your sleeve? your arms are wings flapping?
11. Be told by Strangers, stopping you in the street & saying, Jesus said I must tell you you are fat do something about it?
12. You have disgusting breath ( smokers, ketoers etc) whatever is the way you would like to have been told?
13. For me being busy, company, lets go walking together, being more active, adventurous, family keeping busy great company. since family turned out to be the problem, & the solution, this turned into a double edged sword!!, Until I decided to do it for myself, Love myself, stand up for myself & not let others crap on my space, speak up immediately.
Focusing on myself, learning to love myself first in positive & happy ways. Letting go of the excuses & doing for myself & by myself.
14. And know that all have sinned against themselves, when they sin against others, & keep quite is also a sin, because people think thats okay to treat you that way, they get away with it. Learning to put a stop to ugly behavior or walking away. Letting go of the world. Sometimes people are just mirrors to what needed to change within yourself.
15. Waiting for Karma to get them.
16. Because you hear hear here lots of people hated to be insulted, what would it have taken, for you to make a change & have gotten it sooner?
17. Me, it would have better to have a job outside the house, would have kept me busy & engaged, & not pain focused. and small changes add up, like 2 minutes of exercise done everyday is and are better than 1 hour once a year.
18. Knowledge is power, educating yourself. Better now than never. Question is prayer a solution? Does God help those who help themselves? Is God part of the solution or part of the problem?
Hope this debate turns out interesting and engaging, its not intended to put down anybody, but to help us heal, and in healing ourself we blaze a trail for others. Leaving a better History behind and being a part of the solution rather than a part of the problem.
Its been a long road for me with much to still learn. The hardest for me was getting my heart and mind to work together & in the game, rather than be a spectator, ( watching movies ( a happy place & eating junk) & escaping the cruelties of this world, but letting the joys of experiencing life escape me, which is the same as being stuck, being stagnant, or was it just a long overdue time of rest & reflection?)
Focusing on the positive: Now a new season, a new healthy body, eating healthy, making activity fun always, and producing art to add value to myself and God's Kingdom,
and not the negative!! : letting go, because we leave everything behind & all life turns too dust.
Have a wonderful day
Grace {{ }}0
Replies
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I never needed to be told. I was fully aware of it already and openly acknowledged it. What did finally help me though was friends who didn't just say "but it's okay because you are active." Instead they said ,"we know this is a struggle for you but we know you can do this when you are ready." They didn't buy into the many excuses about slow metabolism and I must have a medical condition that makes me not loose weight even though I am very active and eating healthy. I am really lucky to have those kinds of friends.0
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My family (especially my rail thin mother in law) love to mention my weight casually. "Wouldn't you FEEL BETTER if you lost a little?"
No. No I wouldn't. I'll feel better when you shuty so I can enjoy my pizza. K thanks.
It wasn't until I went to the Dr and he told me I have high blood pressure (scary hypertension) and arthritis at the ripe age of 26 and I needed to lose 50lbs to see if that would straighten me out or if something else is going on. It wasn't a question, it was a diagnoses. I am obese. It's causing health problems.
That's when I decided I needed to change.0 -
I visited a high school friend in the hospital after he had a weight related heart attack
There is no nice way to say lose weight or die.
I think we know our own body shape. Being offended by the stating of the obvious is a prime opportunity to change the obvious into what we want
You are the boss of you
Take charge
Do it like a boss !!!0 -
While negative comments regarding my weight and habits don't usually bother me they don't do anything to motivate me either. What I need to be told to make a change is "nothing". You can insult/encourage/nag until you're blue in the face, but unless I decide I want to change something nothing is going to change.
Being told I'm fat would result in a "no *kitten*!" reply from me. I'm not blind you know. Being told I'm fat with some rude wording would result in a shrug; your anger management issues do not affect me. Being asked to join for a walk would result in a "nah" if I didn't feel up to it. Personally, I'm very hard to insult or motivate externally. I believe a genuine talk with convincing facts (not to be confused with nagging) may nudge me into thinking about it, but ultimately it's up to me.0 -
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Just possibly the most negative and passive-aggressive post in the history of MFP.
wow.0 -
I'd like for people to mind their own business. I'm capable of independent thought, and don't need their input
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I think I understand the intent of the question.
But I agree with the others. I knew I was fat. No one needed to tell me.
Mrs Jruzer would sometimes lovingly coax me about my health and remind me that she wanted me to be around for a long time. That was helpful. But I didn't make a change, a real change, until I was ready.0 -
I've been fat much of my life. I know lots of people consider the word "fat" an insult. Me, I figure "fat" and "obese" mean the same thing. "Fat" is just shorter. More direct.0
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My friends and family never told me I was fat, or insulted me. That would have been rude and unnecessary. I knew I was fat. I'd always known that. I had to wait until I knew I could do it and felt confident and motivated enough. You know what would have stopped that ever happening? Being insulted like that. If anyone had said any of those things to me I'd still be scoffing chocolate in a corner feeling sorry for myself.
What did it take to make me listen? To make me do something about it? Realising I could.0 -
It was such a hard struggle for me, and so many years of yo yo dieting, failing, beating myself up for my poor self control & weak will power, and yet still kept getting fatter & fatter, until I reached my obese zone, it was so many years of not being able to understand & put a plan together that worked.
I did not have an ah-ha moment, it always felt like I was driving on the wrong side of the road, from last year, to this year is where I feel like I am driving on the right side of the road.
Like just tracking calories on Mfp was such an eye opener, I never knew a small pkt of choc-nuts had 500 calories in it, & how quickly you can drink 500 calories!
I think for me it just was a blessing to find Mfp, calorie tracking.0 -
UltimateRBF wrote: »
I'm actually sitting here with my jaw hanging open. I somehow stepped into bizarre-o world.
???????0 -
For those who are being a little obtuse, this post is trying to draw lots of ways to start making a change, sooner rather than later, why waste all the time I wasted, when just saying or receiving the right words would have made the world of difference.
I think lots of people have been on the receiving end of insults even me but the true change for me did not occur then.
Heres hoping some wonderful ways & creative ways can emerge to help someone else get it sooner rather than later.0 -
Write down ways that you would like to be told to do something about your weight? (or what ever your issue is! Alcoholic, disgusting smoker/murderer killing others by secondary smoking, drugs) What would make you listen? so you can get it through your head and make a change, what would it take? and what did it take to get you started?
Most of us know we got so busy on other things we did not notice, or noticed and was not important enough, or something else was worse (pain/suffering), stress, false comfort, or what ever that got us to such a bad place of poor health!! Unhealthy zone weight!! Being overweight is like being slowly being lead to ones own self destruction.
- Would you like tough love?
1 you are wider than me?
2. double chin?
3. from the back you have an *kitten* and then another *kitten* below that, sank to another level?
- Laughed at?
4. yo Mama jokes? child telling you other kids told him, yo mama jokes?
5. how do I look in this dress, ugly?
6. throw a fat party / intervention, and everyone scream (0) you are fat instead of surprise?
7. You looking gross & stupid!! hiding in a fat dress, do you think people still cannot tell you are fat? dumbass?
8.Be told by Your Mother.
9. Be told by friends, significant other, how must they tell you?
10. Like you are wearing stupid on your sleeve? your arms are wings flapping?
11. Be told by Strangers, stopping you in the street & saying, Jesus said I must tell you you are fat do something about it?
12. You have disgusting breath ( smokers, ketoers etc) whatever is the way you would like to have been told?
13. For me being busy, company, lets go walking together, being more active, adventurous, family keeping busy great company. since family turned out to be the problem, & the solution, this turned into a double edged sword!!, Until I decided to do it for myself, Love myself, stand up for myself & not let others crap on my space, speak up immediately.
Focusing on myself, learning to love myself first in positive & happy ways. Letting go of the excuses & doing for myself & by myself.
14. And know that all have sinned against themselves, when they sin against others, & keep quite is also a sin, because people think thats okay to treat you that way, they get away with it. Learning to put a stop to ugly behavior or walking away. Letting go of the world. Sometimes people are just mirrors to what needed to change within yourself.
15. Waiting for Karma to get them.
16. Because you hear hear here lots of people hated to be insulted, what would it have taken, for you to make a change & have gotten it sooner?
17. Me, it would have better to have a job outside the house, would have kept me busy & engaged, & not pain focused. and small changes add up, like 2 minutes of exercise done everyday is and are better than 1 hour once a year.
18. Knowledge is power, educating yourself. Better now than never. Question is prayer a solution? Does God help those who help themselves? Is God part of the solution or part of the problem?
Hope this debate turns out interesting and engaging, its not intended to put down anybody, but to help us heal, and in healing ourself we blaze a trail for others. Leaving a better History behind and being a part of the solution rather than a part of the problem.
Its been a long road for me with much to still learn. The hardest for me was getting my heart and mind to work together & in the game, rather than be a spectator, ( watching movies ( a happy place & eating junk) & escaping the cruelties of this world, but letting the joys of experiencing life escape me, which is the same as being stuck, being stagnant, or was it just a long overdue time of rest & reflection?)
Focusing on the positive: Now a new season, a new healthy body, eating healthy, making activity fun always, and producing art to add value to myself and God's Kingdom,
and not the negative!! : letting go, because we leave everything behind & all life turns too dust.
Have a wonderful day Grace {{ }}
Huh?
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The what now?! :huh: :noway:
Is this about being fat or smoking, OP seems to have a bit of a thing for smokers...0 -
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TLDR
:noway:0 -
Honestly, I have plenty of reasons to lose weight, mostly due to my own comfort. I still haven't decided that I "need" to lose. I'm doing it because I stumbled across mfp by accident and found it to be easy. (I didn't get heavy by being super motivated, so it makes sense.)0
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2 years ago I went to visit my cousins in Paris for the summer. I was on vacation so wasn't really watching what I was eating/drinking and wasn't working out. I ended up gaining a few over that summer.
The lady that lived in the same building as my cousins said this to one of my cousins "what are you feeding that poor girl? I barely recognized her the other day, she's gotten so fat!". I pretty much stopped eating when my cousin told me hahaha. (I went back to my usual workout eat healthy routine once I got back home)0 -
How about my Mother in law.. You have a big heart... Sure. Bite me. She made the Father in law replace their rear deck, so that we 'can both stand on it at the same time'.. She means well. sure.
Went there last weekend, she said wow, you can fit thru the garage door so easy now. REALLY ! uggggg.
Not like that... not . Like. That.0 -
It's none of anyone's business and they should keep their noses out of my life.For those who are being a little obtuse, this post is trying to draw lots of ways to start making a change, sooner rather than later, why waste all the time I wasted, when just saying or receiving the right words would have made the world of difference.
I think lots of people have been on the receiving end of insults even me but the true change for me did not occur then.
Heres hoping some wonderful ways & creative ways can emerge to help someone else get it sooner rather than later.
I was not ready to lose weight until *I* was ready to lose weight. Comments from the peanut gallery were not helpful, only hurtful.0 -
huh?0
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I'm so confused. Are you saying this is stuff that you thought people would say to you?0
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People aren't being obtuse. I think they, as I, are amazed at the idea of having a discussion about ways of telling other people what their problem is/might be. We all have to get to the point of being ready to change on our own. If you aren't ready to hear it, there is nothing anyone can say to change your self-destructive behavior. Probably best to take care of your own problems and let others come to their own salvation in their own time.
I have stage 4 COPD... this means I'm at the terminal stage of the disease. I brought this on myself by smoking. I never say to anyone that they should stop smoking. What they do is not my business. In fact, if they ask if they can smoke around me, I say 'sure, please don't hesitate because of me.' Then I assure them they won't blow up my O2 tank. If they ask, I tell them why I'm in the shape I'm in. Other than that, I keep it to myself.
Not one of my friends who smoke (and they all know what's going on and why) have quit smoking to date. Without saying a word, I'm a walking reminder of what smoking can do to you but it hasn't persuaded any of them to stop. Why would I presume there is something I could say that would?0 -
People aren't being obtuse. I think they, as I, are amazed at the idea of having a discussion about ways of telling other people what their problem is/might be. We all have to get to the point of being ready to change on our own. If you aren't ready to hear it, there is nothing anyone can say to change your self-destructive behavior. Probably best to take care of your own problems and let others come to their own salvation in their own time.
I have stage 4 COPD... this means I'm at the terminal stage of the disease. I brought this on myself by smoking. I never say to anyone that they should stop smoking. What they do is not my business.
No, I just honestly can't follow the post. The number points confuse me the most.
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I am originally from WI and there I had a medical issue and went to see a doctor about it. She walked in took one look at me and said you are totally obese and that is your problem. And turned and walked out.
My new and regular doctor was blunt but not that bad. I would like to see you at 160lbs your height and weight according to the experts say 140 but I would be thrilled at 160.
Now I live in Florida and I have AFIB and my cardiologist said
I would like to see you walk every day for 15min and add more fruits and vegetables to your diet and then he turned to my husband and said I would like to see you do the same just to make you both healthier.
And I said I know I am fat and need to lose weight.
And he said I DID NOT SAY THAT, I said you need to walk and eat more fruits and vegetables. It will easily help your afib.
I had two other doctors in Florida say exactly the same as him.
So I find the doctors up North are very blunt, direct and don't care if they hurt your feelings and down South they are very polite and will not hurt your feelings.
As a person who has been fighting weight loss and weight gain my whole life I KNOW I'M FAT, please encourage me to get healthier by eating and exercising and don't think I'm not trying for I am.
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"its not intended to put down anybody"
It was a very long post filled with nothing but put downs.
"Focusing on the positive:"
I saw nothing positive in that post.0 -
My mother was extremely thin. She had a crazy metabolism and couldn't gain a pound to save her life. She knew she looked thin and bony. She didn't need anyone telling her that, but tell her they did (in all sorts of ways, some kinder than others.) All it did was make her paranoid about her appearance to the point that she would not go out in the summer in comfy clothes, she would wear long slacks and long sleeved blouses even if it was 90 degrees out.
I never needed to be told I was fat/obese/heavy. I knew it. I was very much aware of it, and was very much aware of how much my husband didn't want an obese wife (because of things he said while we were dating, but he never once ever ridiculed or shamed me once I became obese and stayed this way for the past 15 years...) I ran into an old boss one time, after I had given birth to baby #3, but it was pregnancy #4 in 5 years time for me. He slapped me on the arm and said "Packing on the pounds aren't ya?" I wish I had the ability to reply back with some smart remark but all I could muster was "Well I did just have my 3rd baby..." It sounded really lame. and I was humiliated.
Nobody needs to be told. They know. They just need their friends and others to mind their own damn business and not make comments about their weight.0
This discussion has been closed.
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