wife and pregnancy

jmitts2

Hey all! Last year I lost nearly 50 lbs through diet and exercise. I met an amazing woman who likes to cook and we got married and now have a son on the way. Since we have been together I've gained 45 lbs back and I've determined to lose it again, yet I've can't eat healthy when she is always craving rich foods and items hungry almost constantly. How would u all approach a pregnant wife about cutting back what we eat and eat healthier options??

athenasurrenders

It really depends on your relationship. Do you have the kind of communication where you can say, 'hey, we both need to get into some healthy habits for this baby?'

While in theory she should be keeping an eye on her eating during pregnancy (excessive weight gain can mean complications and a harder time recovering her figure later), she's under the influence of some powerful hormones at the moment and might have mixed feelings about her body changes so approach with extreme sensitivity. Remember that morning sickness and food aversions really can genuinely make it hard to eat your usual diet.

But I disagree that you can't eat healthily because she's eating rich foods. You clearly know how to manage your diet, you just need to exercise some willpower. Why not make yourself the chief cook and whip up healthy meals every night? Then if she wants to have a rich snack, it's up to her. If you think it's hard to keep up the willpower now, you will find it super tough when you are sleep deprived.

Congratulations, by the way, on your marriage and soon-to-be fatherhood!

Jaxxie1181

First of all, congratulations. Second, this is like walking into a minefield; however, I would approach it from the angle of having a healthy pregnancy, a good labor and delivery, and a healthy baby. When you're pregnant you need to be extra diligent about getting the proper nutrients. Giving into cravings once in awhile is fine, but pregnant women still have to eat good foods.

If an appeal to health doesn't seem like a good idea, or it goes over like a turd in a punch bowl, do you like to cook? If you enjoy cooking, prepare your own meals and let her cook one of her rich meals once a week for you to enjoy. Her derailing can't be an excuse for you to lose focus. You are your own person still, so if she isn't in a mental place where she wishes to take be mindful of what she's eating then you can only do you and do the best you can.

jemhh

jmitts2 wrote: »

Hey all! Last year I lost nearly 50 lbs through diet and exercise. I met an amazing woman who likes to cook and we got married and now have a son on the way. Since we have been together I've gained 45 lbs back and I've determined to lose it again, yet I've can't eat healthy when she is always craving rich foods and items hungry almost constantly. How would u all approach a pregnant wife about cutting back what we eat and eat healthier options??

Wow this is a flip of the standard "my husband doesn't support me because he eats pizza and chips" post but with pregnancy added in.

Bottom line, you are responsible for what you put in your mouth. Your wife can crave whatever it is she craves but unless she is tying you down and forcing it down your gullet, I wouldn't suggest approaching her to cut back.

Do you help cook meals? If so, start cooking lower calorie fare for yourself. If not, start cooking lower calorie fare for yourself or ask your wife (if she's the cook) if she would do that for you.

There's no reason, no reason whatsoever that you cannot lose weight and keep it off while your wife eats whatever. My husband has not changed his diet at all and I have lost plenty of weight. As I'm pulling a roast out of the oven, he will stand there and say "that looks good. After [daughter] goes to bed I'm getting Little Caesar's/making cheesesticks/going to McDonald's." I just say "okay", we eat our dinner, get our kid to bed, and off he goes for his other food. Does not affect my weight loss or maintenance at all.

Jaxxie1181

jemhh wrote: »

There's no reason, no reason whatsoever that you cannot lose weight and keep it off while your wife eats whatever. My husband has not changed his diet at all and I have lost plenty of weight. As I'm pulling a roast out of the oven, he will stand there and say "that looks good. After [daughter] goes to bed I'm getting Little Caesar's/making cheesesticks/going to McDonald's." I just say "okay", we eat our dinner, get our kid to bed, and off he goes for his other food. Does not affect my weight loss or maintenance at all.

You're my hero. My husband has not altered his eating habits at all either, so I just prepare my food and he can choose to eat it or fix himself something else. I asked him point blank, "don't you care about your health?" He said, "eh, not really". So now every time he comes into the kitchen and I'm making something healthy and he says, "ahhhhh that looks good, can I have some?" my stock reply is, "nope. You don't care about health, remember?" LOL

ManiacalLaugh

I'm going to join in on the advice to be as sensitive as possible. While she's pregnant (and maybe a little bit afterward, incase she experiences post-partum depression), make it about you and use "I" language. "I feel like I need to eat better, so I'm not going to join you in eating (x food)."

I think she'll probably be influenced by your actions, especially if you explain your motivations. (Though she might not join you in them until a bit after the baby's born.)

Oh, and congrats!

jasonallenross

You can only control you, independent of wife's pregnancy. You can control the portions you eat, and you don't have to eat every time she does, either. For example, if there is too much dinner being offered, take half of it and put it in a container and have it for lunch the next day. This saves money, time and calories since you don't need to buy lunch, don't need to make lunch and you cut the calories you would have consumed at dinner.

As the baby grows it takes up more and more space in your wife's abdomen, so it's very common for pregnant women to just endlessly graze because their stomach is being smooshed down to a smaller size by the growing child. Add in the additional caloric requirements, hormones going all which way, not able to sleep well, heartburn, gas, etc and you have a human being who is really dealing with quite a lot. Not to mentioned unsolicited advice from anyone and everyone, plus people wanting to touch her belly (sometimes without asking) on a regular basis. She's probably also nervous/terrified since this is her first child.

For the first three months after the kid shows up you and your wife are going to be finding out a new definition of terrified and exhausted, it's probably not a great time to suggest a new diet strategy, then, either. Once you get a rhythm established with the baby, it's possible to get back into exercise and better eating.

leggup

jmitts2 wrote: »

Hey all! Last year I lost nearly 50 lbs through diet and exercise. I met an amazing woman who likes to cook and we got married and now have a son on the way. Since we have been together I've gained 45 lbs back and I've determined to lose it again, yet I've can't eat healthy when she is always craving rich foods and items hungry almost constantly. How would u all approach a pregnant wife about cutting back what we eat and eat healthier options??

Yes, you can. You can eat whatever you want. You want to be healthier and eat smaller portions? Do it. Maybe she'll join you, maybe she won't. That's up to her and her doctor.

I've lost 70 lbs. My husband has not significantly changed his eating habits in this time. I weigh all my food. He doesn't. It is not his responsibility to abstain from pizza because I can't fit it into my calorie goals that day.