Binge Eating................ How to stop the emotional roller coaster?

dubird

Charlie003 wrote: »

Depressed people, are not depressed over anything specific. I believe that coddling a depressed individual only ligitimises their mental state. They do not need support, they need empowerment. I am not depressed now. So I can think clearly, but, when it hits, rational thought goes out the window. The trick, is to find something to ground yourself during these times.

I'm quite honestly not sure what you mean by 'empowered'. Are you saying anyone feeling sad should just suck it up and deal? That doesn't work with clinical depression. Granted, there are people that just say they're depressed because they feel sad and just want a happy pill. And there are people that have times when they feel depressed, which is perfectly normal, but they're able to pull out of that. And sometimes pulling out of that requires help and support from friends. Think about it, if you have to deal with the death of a loved one, that'll make you sad and depressed. It should, really. Wouldn't you want your friends and family supporting you through that? Or would you want them 'empowering' you, however you mean it by?

But that kind of sadness is normal in the course of life. Real clinical depression is a chemical problem with the brain. It's a constant undertone to everything you do in your life. It manifests differently for everyone. For me, it's the fail cycle. It's a voice inside my head telling me I suck and just repeated variations of that constantly. I had other issues too, but that was the worse one. My doctor and I tried various things, including getting my B12 back up to normal. That helped, but there was still a lot of issues that I had trouble dealing with. I did eventually go on meds, which helps me keep balanced. It's not a happy pill, it's just something that helps me shut the voice up before it goes on for days. Doing so helps me keep emotions under better control, which allows me to interact with people better. I needed help, which took me a very long time to admit, and I didn't want meds. I still don't like being dependent on them to function normally. But it is what it is.

Charlie003

I do not mean for people to say "Suck it up". I mean more like, you can beat this, It is not beyond you to beat. Instead of "Poor you. Aww, you will get better soon". But that is my personal way of thinking, how it works for me. Everyone is different and will respond differently to different things. The only right answer is the one that helps each individual person. I am just looking for mine.

jaga13

I am stealing this from some article I saw online, but unfortunately can't remember who wrote it (sorry author!). But the guy said that being in a binge is like having a dream. You don't even know you're in it until it's too late. But you can try to identify some commonalities that occur BEFOREHAND so you can prepare. For me the signs to look out for a possible binge are:

- Being alone. That means my kids are out of the house or asleep and my husband is working late/traveling/etc. This is rare, so I think I end up viewing it as an "opportunity" and then it gets out of control
- Not having what I REALLY want to eat available at home, so I end up going crazy over something mediocre since it never satisfies me.

So when I find myself in the above scenario, my radar is way up and it often prevents me from starting a binge in the first place because I'm aware that this is a strong possibility.

If you can develop a checklist of where/when you typically are during a binge you might be able to catch yourself before it happens. Maybe not every time, but SOME times is better than never.

Charlie003

a PRE-EMPTIVE BINGE STRIKE.........could work.

Sorova

Charlie, I've definitely had issues with binge eating in the past (that loss of control feeling) and although it wasn't due to depression I think my suggestions might still be relevant for you.

For me, weight loss and fitness are easy, even pleasant, when I am paying attention and my logical brain is in charge. I can rationally assess whether or not a treat is worth it. But every now and then, I used to have binge experiences, usually lasting from 1 hour to 2 days. Essentially for me what happened in those situations was my logical brain seemed to shut off and compulsion would take over. I'd eat food I didn't really want, barely enjoy it, and feel confused about why I was doing it, but it still seemed impossible to stop. It's like my logical brain was disengaged.

What has worked for me is essentially to create mechanisms/scaffolding that force my logical brain to re-engage, to pay attention - mechanisms that don't allow the inertia of a mindless binge to go unchallenged. For example:

- In my phone's address book, the local delivery restaurant names are all "THINK ABOUT IT - Fred's Pizza" or whatever. If I'm on the verge of a mindless binge, that's often enough to wake me up. Having pizza is fine, even if it means going over calories, as long as I am consciously deciding to have pizza. The key is to not be mindless about it.
- I have reminders for a bunch of stuff, for example, a smartphone app that prompts me for a weight update at regular intervals and an app that sends me messages if I don't log any food or workouts for a while. Prevents me from being able to pretend everything is fine if I go off track.
- I journal regularly, and if I notice myself feeling out of control, I write about it before eating anything. This helps me immensely because often the real problem is I am frustrated about something and writing helps me get to the source. Writing also helps me pay active attention to the cravings to see them for what they are.
- I increase the difficulty of getting crap food: if I want ice cream I go out for it. No pints in the fridge means I can't lose control and devour one. Having to drive to the grocery store increases the chance of the brain kicking in.

And overall I have worked for greater self-awareness and tried to understand my eating emotional patterns better. The more I understand, the better I handle it. I still have the urges now and then, but I recognize them for what they are and I can deal with them rationally. It's kind of like being your own psychologist: "Ah, you want to eat an entire pint of ice cream, eh? Why do you think that is? Did you have a hard day? Are you worried about something?" Binging doesn't really happen anymore, happily!

I also make sure that I am eating enough food and enough sleep. I have developed other coping mechanisms for stress and frustration: walking, music, going out for a drink with friends and talking.

Hope this helps!

Charlie003

Thats a really good strategy. And you described exactly how it is for me as well. Thanks.

teacherflame

Thanks for bringing up this problem, Charlie003. I don't consider myself depressed, but, at certain times, my job is relentless. When the stress is high (and gym time is not to be found), I reach for doughnuts, candy bars, or anything that contains unhealthy quantities of sugar. (Normally, I don't have much of a "sweet tooth.") After I inhale two candy bars and a doughnut, I start swimming in self-loathing. What you described differs a bit, but these replies have given me some strategies to consider. Thanks again!

suess26

I think we all (especially dieters) have an emotional eating HABIT we created to deal with stress, fear, loneliness, happiness, success, boredom, sadness and habits are hard to change unless you recognize it, accept it, replace it with a different (good) habit and most of all Believe it is possible. Binge eating, drinking, smoking etc all follow the same behavior of cue, response, outcome find the cue but change the response to achieve the outcome you want. This is all from the book "Power of Habit" it is fantastic book. The author also correlates over eating with alcoholics and how it is the same process to overcome both. Good luck!

jenmovies

Don't buy the bad foods, and wait. Seriously, drink water, drink tea and just breathe. Wait. While you wait, think repeatedly about how bingeing is just doing you harm. I struggle with it every day. I almost threw away a whole wheel of my favourite thing in the world (cheese) today. Instead, I cut off a few slices and put the rest in the fridge. Because I waited, and thought about it, I made a better decision (and did not waste food). You'll never, ever be cured. Just learn how to deal with it one day at a time. Good luck!

jenmovies

I always liked this quote from Game of Thrones. "What do we say to death?" "Not today."
Maybe you could replace death with your binge monster. "Not today." (Not ever.)

Charlie003

Nice, I like that you quaote GOT.

schillewis

I'm not sure I have any advice, but I appreciate your post regardless. There are a lot of us who struggle with binge eating and it's nice to feel "not so alone". I don't know of many things that feel worse than the "post binge" feeling. That instant gratification I get from a binge is NOTHING compared to the agony of the post binge. I've been very successful in the past few months of avoiding the binge I think because my mindset has changed. I'm trying to lose weight in a way that I can live with permanently - and I know "super clean" eating isn't going to work for me long term, LOL. I'm definitely eating healthier and I feel great about it. But I haven't eliminated "unhealthy" food all together, either. Knowing I'm taking the kids out for Froyo on Friday night (and will absolutely have toppings on that Froyo!) helps me NOT have an ice cream binge on Tuesday night. Instead I'll have a 40 calorie fudgecicle after dinner and feel really satisfied. So I guess scheduling in times of the week where I know I'm going to have something super delicious helps me stay focused on keeping the rest of my eating on track. Hang in there Charlie.

Charlie003

Thanks for the input. Everyone individual has a individual strategy. And each one is successful for that individual. Way to go guys.

woznube7

I believe that mine is chemical.. but, I also "don't like myself" either. I am too fat, not good enough, etc. And that is just something that I know I need to get over. It's kind of a lose-lose for me right now! @Charlie003

allison_moushey

I was dealing with heavy depression from December up until about March I was starting to pull out of it. In that time I lost a lot of weight and was only 100lbs just from no appetite and sleeping the whole day away without eating breakfast, lunch, or dinner.
As I started to get out of that "funk" I went out to eat a lot with my little sister because my doctor told me to make an effort to go out. Unfortunately all the Pasta, IHOP, icecream, etc made me gain the weight back very quickly and with unhealthy food.
I'm trying to undo all of that and then that fat to muscle. I'm 112lbs now so I don't have to lose weight, but it is more fat than muscle.
The issue I'm having now is that I do good during the day, but just before bed I binge eat just anything I have in the kitchen. So instead of crying before bed, I'm eating a lot.

I think I'm just gonna get rid of any junk in my pantry and when I start binge eating I can either stop myself, or at least it's something like carrots and peanut butter instead of chips, cookies and icecream.

Charlie003

Allison, I wish I could help you. You should not be crying to sleep.

mbaker566

allison_moushey wrote: »

I was dealing with heavy depression from December up until about March I was starting to pull out of it. In that time I lost a lot of weight and was only 100lbs just from no appetite and sleeping the whole day away without eating breakfast, lunch, or dinner.
As I started to get out of that "funk" I went out to eat a lot with my little sister because my doctor told me to make an effort to go out. Unfortunately all the Pasta, IHOP, icecream, etc made me gain the weight back very quickly and with unhealthy food.
I'm trying to undo all of that and then that fat to muscle. I'm 112lbs now so I don't have to lose weight, but it is more fat than muscle.
The issue I'm having now is that I do good during the day, but just before bed I binge eat just anything I have in the kitchen. So instead of crying before bed, I'm eating a lot.

I think I'm just gonna get rid of any junk in my pantry and when I start binge eating I can either stop myself, or at least it's something like carrots and peanut butter instead of chips, cookies and icecream.

also check out skinnytaste.com. there are some snacks/desserts that are low calorie so that if you do binge, you don't have to feel horrid. great for people who have binging tendencies. or for people known to eat the whole pan of brownies

when was doing that, I would do something at night I could feel good about. that why I went to bed with a positive feeling. like wrote a poem, journaled, went for walk, watched a comedy, did pushups or worked on a yoga sequence. Now I just meditate. Acknowledge I am having feelings, checking in what the emotions are and why I am having them. and then I just picture exhaling them and blowing them gently away.

Charlie003

Distraction. Today I got up to train....but I ended up back in bed. Not because I needed sleep, but because I lost the fight of will power. Shows how weak I still am.

jgnatca

@Charlie003 , how about changing the language around these events? You don't strike me as a weak person at all.

Charlie003

But it is still a weakness in my will power. I could have gone and did the workout, I just did not. Weakness in purpose leads to failure. One must be resolute in order to accomplish hard earned goals.

jgnatca

Hoo-rah!

I'd still like to see you slide around these events using some girly language for a change. Like owning the moment. This has worked for me, by the way. It might be worth a try. Here's an example.

"I chose to...[go back to bed/skip the workout] because for today, the warm comfy bed was more appealing. I will give the gym another try tomorrow [tonight]."

Then make a list of all the great rewards you get from working out.

Carrot instead of whip.

Just sayin'.

Charlie003

Thats just not my way. I am not touchy feely. I am a flow chart kind of thinker. If A then train...If B then fail to train. The reasons are not important, not in my case. I failed to do what I set out to do for no other reason than a weakness in will power. That is owning the moment. It takes a lot to admit to weakness, most will use excuses. But the excuses are just the cause of the weakness. I like to call it as it is.

jgnatca

I call things as they are, too. I say you are cheating half your character. I think you can acknowledge your weak side without giving in.

I literally have weak knees. I've got a plan for that. Beating on them because they failed to hold me up is unproductive.

Charlie003

But, it is the giving in to the weak side that acknowledges it. There is nothing wrong in accepting the truth without having to sugar coat it. What is,is. I accept my failure. Nothing wrong with self honesty.

jgnatca

Here's the thing. When you go on a food bender it's like you've lost all volition. That tells me that there's a side of your character that is not acknowledged. You dismiss it, but it's obviously strong enough to overcome your otherwise rational self. I'm saying make peace with that side of you so both parts of your personality can work as a team towards your righteous goals.

It's like trying to strengthen my knees when my core is too weak, my hips are too stiff, and my quads aren't supporting the knees as they should. I have to rebuild my whole body around my knees so it's all working together.