Help with Self Esteem!

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NicoleMGetsFit
NicoleMGetsFit Posts: 66 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Hey Guys!
I've recently posted about changing my goal weight to something lower and starting to work out more to try and change the way my body looks but I'm starting to realise the core of my problems. My self-esteem. I'm beginning to think that no matter how much weight I lose, or what I do, I won't be happy with myself or my body- and that concerns me.

I guess the core of the matter is that I thought losing weight would make me more confident about my body, but I haven't been this weight for at least 5 (if not more) years and I'm starting to realise that I just don't know how to be like this/ dress for this.

I need to learn to love myself and my body or I feel like I'll start fluctuating with or getting obsessed with my weight and neither is healthy. But I don't know where to start or what to do. Stupid me thought I could just diet away my problems- has anyone got any advice?

Replies

  • ToniW22
    ToniW22 Posts: 8 Member
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    I have this problem.. I call it "fat person mentality". Let me know if someone has a solution! Xx
  • impudentputz
    impudentputz Posts: 479 Member
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    With every pound you lose I promise that your self confidence will increase more than you can ever imagine. You will feel better and people will notice the positive buzz you carry. Trust me, it will be a constant high :)
  • MrsGraves1987
    MrsGraves1987 Posts: 162 Member
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    I majorly have your problem, and know exactly where you're coming from :flowerforyou:

    My story is long winded, basically PND when I had my daughter triggered all sorts of emotions which I had never felt before. The strongest one was the problem with my husband leaving me for someone else, prettier, slimmer, nicer etc you get the picture.

    For the past 7 years I've pummeled myself into the ground, and it's very difficult to bring yourself out of it, it takes perseverance.

    Firstly I would suggest you tell someone how you're feeling, every tiny detail. Saying it out loud may put your feelings into perspective. I offloaded to my husband, and the things I was saying I felt sounded silly - but all these years in my head they were how I felt on a daily basis.

    Secondly, make sure you look in the mirror every day, and take extra notice of something you love about yourself. Trust me, it does help.

    Confidence doesn't come overnight, but as the pounds come off, the feeling of success outweighs those down feelings. There's nothing like achievement.

    It may help to speak to a Counsellor. It wasn't an option for me as they are too expensive - but the above seems to be helping me. By focusing more on my weight loss, I am focusing less on my down thoughts. It's making me feel better.

    :heart:
  • shortie_sarah
    shortie_sarah Posts: 177 Member
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    learn to love the new you! You probably spent so long feeling uncomfortable with yourself that it may be all you know. Try looking at any before and after photos you have to show how far you've come. You definitely don't want losing weight to consume you because then it can turn into something more... like put you down the path to an eating disorder
  • Pookylou
    Pookylou Posts: 988 Member
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    I have days where I look in the mirror and see myself as fat and unhealthy, sometimes it is really hard to see the progress in yourself. Looking at old photographs really helps - I stumbled across one of mine (not even at my heaviest) where I looked SO different (and ill!) and that was a great reminder of how far I have come. Maybe start focusing on your health rather than the scale weight? Start setting some fitness goals?

    I don't really have any answers as this is something I still struggle with - although I am a lot better than I used to be!

    Oh you need a big shopping trip - try on things you would NEVER have before, learning to not just pick up size X is REALLY difficult and different styles will probably suit you now. Give yourself some time to adjust to your new self, your brain takes a lot longer to catch up than your body.

    /ramble
  • LadyPakal
    LadyPakal Posts: 256 Member
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    I still suffer from that fat girl thing - your mind can take a while to catch up with body. You know what I did a couple of days ago? An impromptu photo shoot in a wood with a photographer friend - seeing the results of that did wonders for my ego. :)

    Edit to add - I started doing that 'do one thing every day that scares you' - it's not every day I find something but it's amazing how good you feel after doing something new and scary.

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