Have you tried NOT telling everyone you're on a diet?

hellokathy

In my case I used to not tell people and that was part of why I failed. That whole "No one knows I'm trying so no one cares if I fail" thinking isn't good for my progress. I know I'm doing this for myself and no one else and I'm not putting that much weight on what people say but ultimately, I want this new, healthier lifestyle to be a part of me and it just feels wrong not to let people know. I'm not making it a big announcement but I'm not hiding the fact from people either.

beachlover317

don't ask...don't tell.

mojohowitz

I never mentioned my exercise plan or my plans to start eating better because I had seen other people do it and heard alot of giggling and snickering about that person when they were absent. I've seen many family members make grand announcements about their intentions but never act on it. As a result, they "lose face" and suffer chiding and harsher indignities because of it.

Many people relish the cheap thrill of watching people fail and make idiots of themselves. Including my own family. =( My self-esteem at the time would not have bared that treatment very well. So, I just did it quietly without fanfare and without telling anyone but the good people of MFP. I suspect extroverts would do just the opposite.

It was only after I lost 50 pounds that people took notice and began to compliment. It was then that everyone decided they wanted to cheer me on. Which was and is still fine.

tedrickp

I told most of my "inner circle". It is very obvious now, so it's not like it was a secret. I also told them because we are booze hounds, and I needed an excuse on why I was cutting down.

I've only had positive experiences from telling people. In fact I think I have stayed relatively consistent because of support from friends. Of course there is built in accountability too - which is something that motivates me.

The only annoying thing is some people get offended when they say "Oh we should walk together" and I am like :indifferent: :indifferent:

I already have a walking partner...my ipod.

amy1612

Not so much an, 'on a diet' comment so much as 'the way I eat' comment....but once my supervisor realised I was gluten free she started bringing gluten free snacks along to our group meetings (silver linings and all that)

BeachGingerOnTheRocks

When I first started having real success, I made the mistake of telling people what I was doing and talking about it way too much. It turns out that me talking about it made other people uncomfortable, and I wish I hadn't talked about it so much. I got the "you're already skinny enough" (mom) and the "if you think you need to lose weight, what must you thing I need to do?" (sister) comments from my family. Friends teased me about my arms becoming "toothpicks" etc., etc.

Fast forward a couple of years and me not talking about what I am doing to anyone, and the same person who told me I was skinny enough recently told me that I'm looking really fit and asked me what she should be doing (mom). The other person who is more overweight and got upset about me talking about it constantly has been silently losing and is looking better each time I see her (sister). And the friend who told me I had toothpick arms recently told me I needed to put a pirate temporary tattoo on my "gun" when we went out because she liked how they're looking. These are all comments from people pretty close to me -- family and the wife of a life-long friend.

When you don't talk about it, and people see it, the way you're treated by the exact same people is completely different.

alisonlynn1976

I've only told a few people. I want everyone else to notice without my saying anything.

berriboobear

I don't really tell people, my immediate family knows as well as a couple of my close friends. But it's definitely not something I will openly talk about, especially not wanting to draw attention to myself. For me it's quite a personal thing and I'm okay with the support I get from the few who do know

Pearsquared

I only told my parents outright that I was trying. Everyone else found out when they noticed the weight loss.

Ninkyou

I outed myself on Facebook at the start of my diet on Monday. I'm not going to post pictures of myself though. The next time I'll be seeing family/friends en masse will be September. I'm hoping to see them and have a nice weightloss impact

VpinkLotus

yeah I don't really consider it a "diet" so I figure there's really nothing to tell anybody. Occasionally someone will notice me logging my cals on my phone and I just say "I use MFP to keep cals in check..." that's all

MayaSPapaya

I only told my closest friends and family in the beginning, and as I lost more, people started noticing. When they asked, that's when I would say "Yeah, I'm dieting". Once I lost the first 25 pounds (I lost more than my ticker says), I got on twitter and publicly announced how much I had lost. I was so happy, I didn't care who knew.

A_Fit_Mom

I didn't really tell anyone till they noticed I lost weight. So after about 20 pounds. Then I decided to be more open about it. Main reason I didn't tell was because my MIL is losing weight and I didn't want to take away from her success.

tuiteyfruity

I feel like many people feel almost threatened by the idea of someone around them dieting if they're sitting around saying 'i want a flat stomach but can't stop eating badly!' because someone elses success further highlights what they see in themselves as 'failure'. I think this is probably the crux of the issue with some of these 'saboteurs' as i'm sure they've tried and failed to eat healthier again and again, but they feel more comfortable and less pressured to lose weight if you give up.

Personally when i'm eating healthier, the only people i actively tell are my family and, since eating healthier, if someone does decide to mention their eating habits, some simply awaiting praise (as to which i roll my eyes internally) I actively support them and encourage them as I'd hope someone would respond to me!

TedStout

Or my favourite is that it seems utterly implausible that I actually may genuinely PREFER salmon and jacket potato to a burger and chips, so if I order something healthy for dinner, people actually get the hump!

This is the funny part for me. My tastes have changed. I have NO desire for a doughnut. If I wanted one, I would eat it. Just doesn't appeal to me. I am way in love with fruit, love veggies (these are both new to me). I don't cut out stuff...I eat what I want. Sometimes more, sometimes less. People seem to be unable to grasp the concept that an orange is more satisfying to me than a bearclaw.

JessiBelleW

. When potential saboteurs offer me junk, I politely refuse, often qualifying my "pickiness" with the information that I'd overindulged the day before or something. It goes a little something like this.

"Wow, thanks! But I really couldn't possibly eat that today. You see, yesterday I caved into my cravings and ate a Snickers sandwich..."
"Ugh. That sounds awful."
"Oh, no, it was rather nice... Two full size Snickers bars with a layer of Nutella in the middle. Mmm... But you see, it means I really shouldn't have that slice of pizza you're offering me. Thanks though. "
It's a win win! They get to go away feeling smug that I've clearly already fallen off the fitness train, and I get to avoid snacks without coming across as slightly holier than thou.

Love this!!! Not that I have to justify my food choices to anyone.

I haven't told people that I am trying to lose weight. I started out making better food choices and trying out running. I didn't tell anyone I was trying out running till I was going okay at it. I didn't know if I was going to stick at it - to the point where I didn't even buy running shoes, just in case I quit.

I tell my Dad and my two best friends when I weigh myself and I have gotten lighter and I call my Dad excitedly when I reach a new running milestone

Beautyandthebeef

In my experience I tell my friends and family and everyone has been very encouraging and supportive minus dad-who sees me prepping my healthy meals the night before and buying lots of healthy foods and tells me I am obsessed with food and that's why I am fat-and you know what? Who cares! You know what you are doing, you know it's good. If sharing with certain people who will help motivate you seems like a good idea-go for it. If you feel more comfy keeping it to yourself-then don't share. Personally I like to share so that people will help me stay on track. Good luck either way!!

gingermaker219

Hey Chic, probably the best advice I've been given after all it does only affect me and I've noticed people who are either really thin or yoyo dieters say "go on, one won't hurt" I too am guilty of that (being the yoyo type),

HeidiCooksSupper

"I'm not. I'm just trying to learn portion control and to eat healthy."

JoanB5

Yup. Much better this time around than ever before, too. Makes the journey mine.

mkakids

I just say I'm not interested. Usually they are fine with that response. I don't generally announce to everyone that I'm on a diet, but I willtell someone if they specifically ask how I have lost weight or whatever.

m0jk

I tried not telling people this time because ive tried all their diets that have been successful for them but not me, plus their idea of motivation is ringing or jumping on me on facebook if i even LIKE a page with a lush cupcake 'you cant eat that your on a diet', shout at me down a street in town, 'i hope your not gonna eat that or drink that your on a diet! ' .. yea they try to control me if i do their diets and tell the world.

So this time im telling the world and not telling them haha and for once my diets working :bigsmile:

nolachick

That sounded far cattier than intended, but hey ho.

Given how many threads are made about bad experiences caused by everyone else's reaction to your diet, is it better to just not tell everyone? With a few exceptions it seems that the masses are at best annoying (offering a ton of unwanted bad advice) and at worst sabotaging (waving cake in your face and trying to undermine your efforts) so... why do they need to know?

You don't owe anyone an explanation as to why you don't want the cupcake they're offering. You don't need to defend your choice of lunch. Your health issues & aims are none of their business.

Isn't telling everyone you know just tagging a bullseye to your butt?

...I am, as ever, willing to accept I may be talking out of the wrong end on this one.

i'm with u on that one. I rather do my own thing and not let anyone know i'm working out or "dieting" really I just watch what I eat. i'll just say i'm full or something. for my workouts, a lot of my friends have been telling me i'm always busy cuz I just tell them I have somethings to take care of at home (I do some workouts at home) I don't like to explain what i'm doing until I have gotten the results I want. otherwise I do feel like I'm sabotaging myself somehow (not that my friends want me to fail or anything)

elisabeisme

I don't talk about it. Now as I am 50 pounds down, people can see the difference. When they ask, I usually just shrug it off because I don't want to be judged on what I'm doing. People ALWAYS judge - whether self-satisfied smugness by forever thin people, sabotage by those who define their own image by your fatness, or even people who try to "help" by constantly commenting about your habits.

It's much easier to shrug it off.
- When they ask how much I've lost, I pretend to guess maybe like 10 pounds, as if I don't even know.
- When they ask how I did it, I say I'm lifting weights from time to time and occasionally running. I NEVER mention the food part.
- When they say you look so healthy, I say the new job is much less stress.

I've found this approach is so much easier because my apparent lack of interest shuts down the topic and we can move on to discussing books, movies, politics, jobs, loved ones and life's other pleasures. Otherwise, it seems that anytime someone at a dinner party is on a diet, it turns into a Top Chef like critique of the dieter's plate and exercise plan with each person talking about how THEY would do it differently. The poor dieter sits there miserable as a bug under a microscope.

Whenever I need a narcissistic reinforcement of my choices, my MFP friends are happy to oblige.