Can you visualize what life will be like after you've reached your goal?

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Replies

  • teanahk
    teanahk Posts: 81 Member
    I'm about 25 pounds from my goal of a healthy BMI and have noticed a few nice things.

    I surprised myself last weekend walking up several flights of stairs without gasping for air, I could actually keep up a conversation the whole time. That was pretty amazing.

    I've worn shorts in public a few times and the world didn't end. It's been a looooooong time since I've done that.

    I've been at my goal weight before and don't expect my life to be much different than now. I'll probably have to keep paying a bit more attention to what I'm eating than I'd like and I'm sure the bathroom scale will continue to be a near daily habit.

    I am looking forward to a bit of wardrobe rebuilding though. I got rid of all of my too small clothes back in January during an overly motivated de-cluttering spree.
  • TeaBea
    TeaBea Posts: 14,517 Member
    I can visualize it....because I was at my goal (below my original goal in fact). The problem I had was unrealistic expectations. I'm a pear at 155 pounds....and I was also a pear at 106 pounds (ugh...too low).

    I no longer visualize wearing shorts....I visualize wearing capris & looking pretty decent in them. I liked feeling stronger, I liked having more energy. So - back to it....better health is my goal now.
  • SergeantSausage
    SergeantSausage Posts: 1,673 Member
    It's just fat cells, right? I'm not really expecting a thing to radically change.
  • Sarasmaintaining
    Sarasmaintaining Posts: 1,027 Member
    Seigla wrote: »
    Inspired by the feedback I've got from you in my last thread I have another set of questions for you:

    Say you get to your goal weight; how will that change your life?
    I've been in maintenance for around 2 years now. What's changed for me:

    -I'm no longer a pre-diabetic
    -all of my blood work has improved, including having a total cholesterol number of 150, triglycerides at a 49 etc

    What will you look like? I'm a 36 yr old mom of three kids and frankly, I look pretty awesome now :D I'm definitely in the best shape, and the lowest weight, of my adult life. I love the definition I have in my arms, shoulders, back and stomach.

    How will your self image change? I'm more comfortable in my own skin. I now own pairs of shorts for the first time since I was a kid. I now wear a swimsuit (a two piece at that), instead of wearing shorts and a tee-shirt to the beach and not going into the water. I feel a lot more confident during intimate times with my hubby.

    What will it feel like? It feels pretty fantastic :)

    How will your lifestyle change when you enter maintenance mode? Overall, it hasn't been that big of a deal. I'm still very focused on CICO and making sure I eat at the appropriate calorie range. I exercise now a few times a week (around 1.5 hours a week), which I never used to do. I also now spend a ridiculous amount of time on MFP because it's just so darn entertaining lol. But overall I haven't done anything major as far as making changes since I transitioned into maintenance.

    What problems will you encounter? The biggest challenge is just the mental transition you have to make, from first being overweight, to then being in active weight loss mode, to then going into maintenance and realizing that this is where you're going to be at for the next 40+ years.

    Along with that-there's so much info out there for how to lose weight, but very little on how to actually maintain successfully. It was pretty frustrating at first, trying to figure out what maintenance actually looked like.

    How will people respond? I've had mostly positive feedback. I did get a few back handed criticism's disguised as compliments at the beginning (ironically from overweight people), but otherwise people have been happy for me. I do think there is some resentment among a couple of family members/friends. But that's on them, not me.

    What new opportunities will you have? I've helped several family members/friends get started with their own weight loss journeys and that's been a neat experience :) I know of two that have actually stayed with it and are now maintaining, and there's a few that are in the process, including my mom.

    I will answer later, first I'm curious about what you have to say! :)

  • TimothyFish
    TimothyFish Posts: 4,925 Member
    I'll finally, truly, and honestly love myself, instead of how I feel about myself now.
    I wonder how many people thought this and then found it not to be true.

    I'm pretty sure that if people don't love themselves when they're fat, they won't love themselves when they're skinny.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    Seigla wrote: »
    Inspired by the feedback I've got from you in my last thread I have another set of questions for you:

    Say you get to your goal weight; how will that change your life? What will you look like? How will your self image change? What will it feel like? How will your lifestyle change when you enter maintenance mode? What problems will you encounter? How will people respond? What new opportunities will you have?

    I will answer later, first I'm curious about what you have to say! :)

    hitting some relatively arbitrary number on a scale didn't change my life in the least...that said, nutrition and fitness have had profound impacts. I'm the healthiest and fittest I've been since I was in my 20s and rocking my nutrition and regular exercise are largely responsible for cleaning up all of my bad blood work.

    I've been in maintenance for over 2 years...the only difference between maintenance and losing is a handful of calories...I eat well and exercise regularly.

    I have not encountered any problems...not sure what you mean by "how will people respond"...and I wouldn't say I've had any opportunities come about simply as a result of losing weight.

    I get the strong sense from being on MFP for going on 3 years that a lot of people think that losing some weight is going to cure all of their woes and everything will be right in the world and their lives are going to somehow be dramatically different than they are now...I see a lot of people disappointed when they get there.
  • ElizabethKalmbach
    ElizabethKalmbach Posts: 1,415 Member
    edited June 2015
    I've been at and under my goal weight a few times. Nothing really changes (not even my clothes) except my goal goes from getting to 145 on the scale to 145 on a bench press. (The latter being a very, very long way off, if it's even attainable for me. But you know, it's good to have something to shoot for.)

    I did observe the other day that my "lounge clothes" at my heavier weights are big shirts and no pants, and my "lounge clothes" at lighter weights are pants and a tank bra. I haven't decided yet if that means anything about my body confidence, or if it just means that I haven't bought different kinds of pants since high school, and I shop for t-shirts in my 6'3 husband's closet...
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
    Seigla wrote: »
    Say you get to your goal weight; how will that change your life?

    Well, I have 5 lbs to go, so probably not much.

    However, thinking back to 95 lbs ago, I am happier because I am more active and energetic and (mostly) not using food for emotional purposes. Most important--and a change that actually came into effect way back when I'd only lost the first 30 lbs or so--I find that when I feel fit, like I have the stamina to run around outside or walk for long distances without my feet hurting or ride all over the city, I tend to feel much better about myself. Beyond that, just being regularly active tends to do amazing things for my state of mind and overall mood, on average, as well as how confident I feel.
    What will you look like?

    Not much different, although I plan to keep working on improving fitness, gaining strength and muscle mass (ideally).
    How will your self image change?

    It won't. Interestingly, one thing I've noticed both this time and when I lost weight before is that when I'm focused on doing things with my body, on being active, that I tend to feel pretty good about myself and much more confident in (or unbothered by) how I look, even well before I am at a place that I'd consider ideal. When I was younger I was convinced I was fat at 125 or 130 (I was not) and yet didn't have a clue about how to change that. Now I feel good at that weight (and am in better shape overall), but also felt pretty good at higher weights once I had taken charge and was active and working on improving myself.
    How will your lifestyle change when you enter maintenance mode?

    It won't, but a trick will be to incorporate my active lifestyle into my social life. On the whole that's not too hard--I have joined some group training things to meet others interested in training for races and such and would like to check out more hiking-type groups, because my current group of friends aren't so into these activities. I am also a member of a CF box and have some friends from that who are into fitness in various ways, and I do think the importance of a social element to physical activity is one reason these kinds of groups are so popular.

    The food part isn't so difficult, because it's common in my social circles to be into eating healthy, local eating, farmers markets and so on, so easy to find people who share my interests in that stuff.

    New opportunities: I do think it helps with some work stuff to be seen as more normal weight.

    Reactions: only positive.
  • ACyclingAdmin
    ACyclingAdmin Posts: 444 Member
    No need for visualization, I have a calculator lol!

    http://fcdn.mtbr.com/attachments/xc-racing-training/422994d1231522642-bike-weight-how-much-factor-watts-per-kilo-chart.gif

    I'd jump up from 4.22 watts per kilo to about 4.9 watts per kilo at threshold. Not including any power gains made while training during weight loss. Amateur pro category here I come.
  • ACyclingAdmin
    ACyclingAdmin Posts: 444 Member
    I'll finally, truly, and honestly love myself, instead of how I feel about myself now.
    I wonder how many people thought this and then found it not to be true.

    I'm pretty sure that if people don't love themselves when they're fat, they won't love themselves when they're skinny.

    This... There are quite a few people that unfortunately think some small aesthetic stuff will make them love themselves more.
  • DeguelloTex
    DeguelloTex Posts: 6,652 Member
    No need for visualization, I have a calculator lol!

    http://fcdn.mtbr.com/attachments/xc-racing-training/422994d1231522642-bike-weight-how-much-factor-watts-per-kilo-chart.gif

    I'd jump up from 4.22 watts per kilo to about 4.9 watts per kilo at threshold. Not including any power gains made while training during weight loss. Amateur pro category here I come.
    Amateur pro? I'm sure there's some reason why it's called that, but it seems odd.

  • ACyclingAdmin
    ACyclingAdmin Posts: 444 Member
    Amateur pro is basically those of us who are not really going to be on a pro team / either too old or not going to commit to it etc...

    Technically cat 1 is pro status, but if you just compete in local state races and such and never really do any national domestic races most folks will refer to it as amateur pro racing
  • DeguelloTex
    DeguelloTex Posts: 6,652 Member
    Amateur pro is basically those of us who are not really going to be on a pro team / either too old or not going to commit to it etc...

    Technically cat 1 is pro status, but if you just compete in local state races and such and never really do any national domestic races most folks will refer to it as amateur pro racing
    So kind of like a ringer in a way? You're really good, but don't do it for a living?

  • taentea
    taentea Posts: 91 Member
    I don't visualize myself at my goal weight as I've never been there. I don't know what being average feels like, let alone fit. The picture is very vague at this point.

    I'm pretty sure that this new me won't be perfect. I'll quite likely look older than I do now. My skin won't magically forget hugging a 250 pound girl all these years and muscle definition will not suddenly appear. Some of those things I'll have to learn to live with, others will be something to keep working on.

    Unlike a lot of posters here, I do see how weight loss could change my life in big ways. My weight has always been a major problem that hindered me in all areas of my life. It's just something I could never accept about myself. It always felt like a wrong version of me that I simply refused to show to the world, turning away a lot of great opportunities simply so I didn't have to show myself to people. Failed education, countless work proposals refused, non-existing social and personal life – my weight is why. So yeah, I count on that actually changing once I'm done, as I'm a gifted student, a passionate and knowledgable professional, a faithful friend and a generally decent, confident and even physically attractive person when I'm not busy burring myself under my own fat.
  • senecarr
    senecarr Posts: 5,377 Member
    taentea wrote: »
    Unlike a lot of posters here, I do see how weight loss could change my life in big ways. My weight has always been a major problem that hindered me in all areas of my life. It's just something I could never accept about myself. It always felt like a wrong version of me that I simply refused to show to the world, turning away a lot of great opportunities simply so I didn't have to show myself to people. Failed education, countless work proposals refused, non-existing social and personal life – my weight is why. So yeah, I count on that actually changing once I'm done, as I'm a gifted student, a passionate and knowledgable professional, a faithful friend and a generally decent, confident and even physically attractive person when I'm not busy burring myself under my own fat.

    This kind of happened to me. I was rejected at a job interview for "not seeming energetic enough" to be a programmer, by a guy who was very ho-hum himself and overweight.
  • DeguelloTex
    DeguelloTex Posts: 6,652 Member
    senecarr wrote: »
    taentea wrote: »
    Unlike a lot of posters here, I do see how weight loss could change my life in big ways. My weight has always been a major problem that hindered me in all areas of my life. It's just something I could never accept about myself. It always felt like a wrong version of me that I simply refused to show to the world, turning away a lot of great opportunities simply so I didn't have to show myself to people. Failed education, countless work proposals refused, non-existing social and personal life – my weight is why. So yeah, I count on that actually changing once I'm done, as I'm a gifted student, a passionate and knowledgable professional, a faithful friend and a generally decent, confident and even physically attractive person when I'm not busy burring myself under my own fat.

    This kind of happened to me. I was rejected at a job interview for "not seeming energetic enough" to be a programmer, by a guy who was very ho-hum himself and overweight.
    Wow. Usually putting on enough clothes to go out in public and not be arrested and then making it to the interview is plenty energetic for a programmer.

  • senecarr
    senecarr Posts: 5,377 Member
    senecarr wrote: »
    taentea wrote: »
    Unlike a lot of posters here, I do see how weight loss could change my life in big ways. My weight has always been a major problem that hindered me in all areas of my life. It's just something I could never accept about myself. It always felt like a wrong version of me that I simply refused to show to the world, turning away a lot of great opportunities simply so I didn't have to show myself to people. Failed education, countless work proposals refused, non-existing social and personal life – my weight is why. So yeah, I count on that actually changing once I'm done, as I'm a gifted student, a passionate and knowledgable professional, a faithful friend and a generally decent, confident and even physically attractive person when I'm not busy burring myself under my own fat.

    This kind of happened to me. I was rejected at a job interview for "not seeming energetic enough" to be a programmer, by a guy who was very ho-hum himself and overweight.
    Wow. Usually putting on enough clothes to go out in public and not be arrested and then making it to the interview is plenty energetic for a programmer.
    The job was for Borders about 3 months before they went out of business. Ended up landing a position in a pretty good place.

  • ACyclingAdmin
    ACyclingAdmin Posts: 444 Member
    edited June 2015
    Amateur pro is basically those of us who are not really going to be on a pro team / either too old or not going to commit to it etc...

    Technically cat 1 is pro status, but if you just compete in local state races and such and never really do any national domestic races most folks will refer to it as amateur pro racing
    So kind of like a ringer in a way? You're really good, but don't do it for a living?

    Yeah, there are us "professional hobbyists" you can say and then those like.. there is a guy out here in ATX that wins a LOT of races out here in TX, sometimes out in other states so I'm pretty sure guys like that are using it to supplement their income because you can make a nice chunk of change winning a cat 1 race. Most of them are coaches though, charge their athletes like 300+ a month and get a lot of clients because of their local wins.

    I just simply want to make it to cat 1 to say I'm cat 1 lol. I've got a long road ahead though, I had half the points for a cat 3 upgrade when I broke my collar bone last year and my points rolled out (12 months rolling need to make all your points for an upgrade in a 12mo timeframe). Haven't even touched the races this year, new baby, kept getting sick, daycare is a petri dish, gained weight, lol...

    But seeing them out in some of the other domestic pro stuff they aren't as hot with the younger guys on real pro domestic teams usually take the wins. I'm not sure if I'd bother if I was in my late 30's and in their shoes with a family.
  • taentea
    taentea Posts: 91 Member
    senecarr wrote: »
    taentea wrote: »
    Unlike a lot of posters here, I do see how weight loss could change my life in big ways. My weight has always been a major problem that hindered me in all areas of my life. It's just something I could never accept about myself. It always felt like a wrong version of me that I simply refused to show to the world, turning away a lot of great opportunities simply so I didn't have to show myself to people. Failed education, countless work proposals refused, non-existing social and personal life – my weight is why. So yeah, I count on that actually changing once I'm done, as I'm a gifted student, a passionate and knowledgable professional, a faithful friend and a generally decent, confident and even physically attractive person when I'm not busy burring myself under my own fat.

    This kind of happened to me. I was rejected at a job interview for "not seeming energetic enough" to be a programmer, by a guy who was very ho-hum himself and overweight.
    My situation is even more pathetic in some way. It's not other people doing it to me. It's me. I've never asked for a job. I've been offered plenty, including some people would kill for. Heck, I even refused a % in a startup simply because I could not bring myself to meet those people and sign papers. I dropped out of the best university in the country that the gov was paying me to to go to because they wanted me to swim in the pool and so on. I'd learn to live with it if I was simply dumb, ugly or naturally limited in any other way. But I really just keep wasting what was given, feeling tremendously guilty and yet not able to stop doing it.
  • LuckyMunky
    LuckyMunky Posts: 200 Member
    My life will be the exact same. I will look different, but what's inside won't change. I've already made healthy changes. I've already decided to be more positive and happy, and to love my body. I already have confidence. My body will just be smaller and my disease easier to control.
  • senecarr
    senecarr Posts: 5,377 Member
    taentea wrote: »
    senecarr wrote: »
    taentea wrote: »
    Unlike a lot of posters here, I do see how weight loss could change my life in big ways. My weight has always been a major problem that hindered me in all areas of my life. It's just something I could never accept about myself. It always felt like a wrong version of me that I simply refused to show to the world, turning away a lot of great opportunities simply so I didn't have to show myself to people. Failed education, countless work proposals refused, non-existing social and personal life – my weight is why. So yeah, I count on that actually changing once I'm done, as I'm a gifted student, a passionate and knowledgable professional, a faithful friend and a generally decent, confident and even physically attractive person when I'm not busy burring myself under my own fat.

    This kind of happened to me. I was rejected at a job interview for "not seeming energetic enough" to be a programmer, by a guy who was very ho-hum himself and overweight.
    My situation is even more pathetic in some way. It's not other people doing it to me. It's me. I've never asked for a job. I've been offered plenty, including some people would kill for. Heck, I even refused a % in a startup simply because I could not bring myself to meet those people and sign papers. I dropped out of the best university in the country that the gov was paying me to to go to because they wanted me to swim in the pool and so on. I'd learn to live with it if I was simply dumb, ugly or naturally limited in any other way. But I really just keep wasting what was given, feeling tremendously guilty and yet not able to stop doing it.
    I can completely sympathize.
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
    senecarr wrote: »
    taentea wrote: »
    Unlike a lot of posters here, I do see how weight loss could change my life in big ways. My weight has always been a major problem that hindered me in all areas of my life. It's just something I could never accept about myself. It always felt like a wrong version of me that I simply refused to show to the world, turning away a lot of great opportunities simply so I didn't have to show myself to people. Failed education, countless work proposals refused, non-existing social and personal life – my weight is why. So yeah, I count on that actually changing once I'm done, as I'm a gifted student, a passionate and knowledgable professional, a faithful friend and a generally decent, confident and even physically attractive person when I'm not busy burring myself under my own fat.

    This kind of happened to me. I was rejected at a job interview for "not seeming energetic enough" to be a programmer, by a guy who was very ho-hum himself and overweight.
    Wow. Usually putting on enough clothes to go out in public and not be arrested and then making it to the interview is plenty energetic for a programmer.

    Not in my company....
  • DeguelloTex
    DeguelloTex Posts: 6,652 Member
    Mr_Knight wrote: »
    senecarr wrote: »
    taentea wrote: »
    Unlike a lot of posters here, I do see how weight loss could change my life in big ways. My weight has always been a major problem that hindered me in all areas of my life. It's just something I could never accept about myself. It always felt like a wrong version of me that I simply refused to show to the world, turning away a lot of great opportunities simply so I didn't have to show myself to people. Failed education, countless work proposals refused, non-existing social and personal life – my weight is why. So yeah, I count on that actually changing once I'm done, as I'm a gifted student, a passionate and knowledgable professional, a faithful friend and a generally decent, confident and even physically attractive person when I'm not busy burring myself under my own fat.

    This kind of happened to me. I was rejected at a job interview for "not seeming energetic enough" to be a programmer, by a guy who was very ho-hum himself and overweight.
    Wow. Usually putting on enough clothes to go out in public and not be arrested and then making it to the interview is plenty energetic for a programmer.

    Not in my company....
    Good thing I made enough to retire in my 40s working at places more concerned with results, then.

  • PaulaWallaDingDong
    PaulaWallaDingDong Posts: 4,647 Member
    I did one of these dealies back when I started...

    0wnmj133rk6b.jpg

    As for the rest of my life: Except being able to fit places I couldn't before, and being able to walk up hills, I expect the rest of my life will be exactly the same as it is now.
  • Bshmerlie
    Bshmerlie Posts: 1,026 Member
    I was skinny as a young person and didn't gain the weight until after college so I never really saw myself as a fat person. So I'll finally look like I think I do. If that makes any sense.

    A big difference will be when I'm scuba diving. I'll basically be carrying 140 pounds less when I get out of the water. That is a huge difference. No more feeling like I'm gonna have a heart attack when I'm walking back to my car. That's like having a person on your back and you have to walk up a huge flight of stairs to get back to your car. HUGE deal.

    Last thing. I can finally stop shopping in the Plus size section and actually find clothes that are cute. No more shopping at Catherine's. YAY!!!!
  • senecarr
    senecarr Posts: 5,377 Member
    Mr_Knight wrote: »
    senecarr wrote: »
    taentea wrote: »
    Unlike a lot of posters here, I do see how weight loss could change my life in big ways. My weight has always been a major problem that hindered me in all areas of my life. It's just something I could never accept about myself. It always felt like a wrong version of me that I simply refused to show to the world, turning away a lot of great opportunities simply so I didn't have to show myself to people. Failed education, countless work proposals refused, non-existing social and personal life – my weight is why. So yeah, I count on that actually changing once I'm done, as I'm a gifted student, a passionate and knowledgable professional, a faithful friend and a generally decent, confident and even physically attractive person when I'm not busy burring myself under my own fat.

    This kind of happened to me. I was rejected at a job interview for "not seeming energetic enough" to be a programmer, by a guy who was very ho-hum himself and overweight.
    Wow. Usually putting on enough clothes to go out in public and not be arrested and then making it to the interview is plenty energetic for a programmer.

    Not in my company....
    Good thing I made enough to retire in my 40s working at places more concerned with results, then.
    Well, I do have depression, thought then and now it is under treatment. I wasn't terribly enthused about working for a company that seemed like it was circling the drain the way Borders was, particularly when it was 2010 and they were talking about their software still using stuff that takes Visual Studio 6 to compile.
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
    Mr_Knight wrote: »
    senecarr wrote: »
    taentea wrote: »
    Unlike a lot of posters here, I do see how weight loss could change my life in big ways. My weight has always been a major problem that hindered me in all areas of my life. It's just something I could never accept about myself. It always felt like a wrong version of me that I simply refused to show to the world, turning away a lot of great opportunities simply so I didn't have to show myself to people. Failed education, countless work proposals refused, non-existing social and personal life – my weight is why. So yeah, I count on that actually changing once I'm done, as I'm a gifted student, a passionate and knowledgable professional, a faithful friend and a generally decent, confident and even physically attractive person when I'm not busy burring myself under my own fat.

    This kind of happened to me. I was rejected at a job interview for "not seeming energetic enough" to be a programmer, by a guy who was very ho-hum himself and overweight.
    Wow. Usually putting on enough clothes to go out in public and not be arrested and then making it to the interview is plenty energetic for a programmer.

    Not in my company....
    Good thing I made enough to retire in my 40s working at places more concerned with results, then.

    Logic fail.
  • mmnv79
    mmnv79 Posts: 538 Member
    I'm 184lbs, if I lose 44lbs I'll be healthier and able to do more sports. Now, I get tired and out of breath and have to just accept that's how it is (for now).
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,699 Member
    I just simply want to make it to cat 1 to say I'm cat 1 lol. I've got a long road ahead though, I had half the points for a cat 3 upgrade when I broke my collar bone last year and my points rolled out (12 months rolling need to make all your points for an upgrade in a 12mo timeframe). Haven't even touched the races this year, new baby, kept getting sick, daycare is a petri dish, gained weight, lol...

    I made it all the way up to Cat 4 when I was racing. :lol:

    Speed was just never my thing ... I'm all about distance.


    But applicable to this topic, one thing the weight loss seems to have helped with are the hills. I'm flatlander now residing in Tasmania (very, very hilly). I've been watching the mountain goats here fly up hills like they are on flat ground while I've been struggling, and wheezing, and in agonising pain, and often walking ...

    However, by the time I had lost about 10 kg, I was getting up hills with less difficulty. My husband puts it this way ... imagine if you had to carry five 2-litre bottles of Pepsi Max up the hill ... well, that's essentially what I was doing with that extra 10 kg. Now I am so close to 15 kg lost ... it's even easier. Still nowhere near easy, but easier than it was.

  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    About the only change will be I'll eat a more reasonable amount. More reasonable than before I started and more reasonable than while I was losing. Well, and some new clothes.

    I still won't be able to go shirtless; I have too many scars.
    I still won't be able to buy much of my clothes in regular stores; I'm too tall for that.
    I still won't be able to fit very well in airplane seats; legroom was always the problem, not width.

    People will still stare at me. People will still ask where I played basketball.

    I guess I might live longer, but maybe not, and it's not like I'll ever know, anyway. I never defined myself in terms of my weight, or lack thereof, so that won't change. I'll still be me, with the same worries, concerns, bills, family, etc., there will just be less of me and my proportions will be different.

    I can understand being self-conscious about this but wanted to note that on another site, I am in a group for asking women questions - whenever men start threads asking how women feel about scars the responses are overwhelmingly positive :)

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