NSV - mind games

epd17

Hi All,

I wanted to share with you my recent NSV. I hope you’ll read this and know that nothing can stop you if you have faith in yourself – not even your weight. Here’s a little background. I have always been overweight but was very active and in decent cardiovascular and strength shape as a young adult. I played soccer, basketball, softball until the 8th grade. When I entered high school I found the love of my life – volleyball. I played volleyball all 4 years of high school all year round and went on to play in college, as well as coach two high school varsity teams. When I graduated college I started working for a medical software company as a traveling implementation specialist. That left no time for coaching or pick up leagues. After 7 years of traveling and an extra 30lbs I decided to retire my wings and get a job that didn’t require travel. It’s been 2 years since I have stopped traveling for work.

In the past 2 years I have searched for volleyball leagues and found many that would work with my schedule. I signed up for zero of them. Why? My weight. Sadly I realized I’ve been letting my weight control what I think I can and cannot do in my life. I kept saying to myself, when I lose 30 pounds I’ll start playing again. I’m not in good enough shape to play. I got tired of hearing myself saying things like this. I missed playing volleyball so much and I felt like there was a whole in my heart because I couldn’t and wouldn’t play.

Well a couple of weeks ago I bit the bullet and signed up for a co-ed beach league. I was feeling pretty good about myself after losing 10 pounds in two months. I felt like I could do anything. Well let me tell you the mind is a very powerful thing. It can push you to do great things as well as hold you back. Leading up to last night (my first game) my mind did everything it could to scare me! I went from feeling like I could accomplish anything to OMG what have I done. I had thoughts like "Why in the world did I sign up for beach volleyball?" “I won’t be able to play to their level” “I hope my t shirt fits me” “Am I too heavy to wear shorts?” “Will the other girls be in bathing suits?” "Will the guys judge my weight and not take me seriously?" Oh my god it was crazy how much I was psyching myself out. I had a nervous pit in my stomach when I showed up last night. I was even shaking a little bit. I'm not going to lie it took an incredible amount of will power to push through those fears and just show up to play.

So how did it go?

Well, I jumped into the first game and all of those silly thoughts melted away. Could I play at the level of others, hell yes! It was like riding a bike. Was I extremely winded? You bet but I didn’t care. I pushed through the huffing and puffing and had the time of my life. I made some great plays and contributed quite a few points to our matches. I can’t wait for next Monday.

I wanted to share this story with you all, because if you’re like me you may be letting your weight control your life. If you’ve ever wanted to do something and not done it because you felt self conscious about your weight you know what I’m talking about. This experience has opened my eyes. I started to look at other areas of my life and wondered where else am I letting my weight control how I act or what I do? Well let me tell you I found a few more areas – but no more will I let my weight control me. I am pushing myself to become a better me. I will continue to put myself into uncomfortable situations until I learn that there aren’t any! I’m just as capable as anyone else if I put my mind to it.

So far I’ve lost 14lbs and I have a long way to go until I reach my goal weight. Last night I reached a goal that has been on my mind since the day I played my last game in college. It feels amazing. I can already feel my confidence building back up. If people were judging me last night I didn’t notice, nor do I care! I hope after reading this NSV it will inspire you to try something you've always wanted to but your weight has been mentally holding you back.

Best,
Erica

SingRunTing

Way to go!

It really is all about mindset. The following quote has been my mantra this whole time and really has changed my life:

epd17

SingRunTing wrote: »

Way to go!

It really is all about mindset. The following quote has been my mantra this whole time and really has changed my life:

This is awesome and so right. My father always told me "What the mind can conceive the mind can achieve". Thanks for your quote!

dramaqueen45

Congratulations- you have conquered the most difficult part- the mental beat down and negative self talk that we tend to engage in. Congratulations to you and your new found self love.

kspoon5

This is great ! Thanks for sharing !!

CJisinShape

Ishii19

Wow great message! Glad you got back to it

aliciasilfies

Congrats on returning to something you love and not letting your weight get in the way! I've been doing the exact same thing with softball!! You've inspired me to look into local leagues

crazyjerseygirl

Huzzah! Maybe I should go out dancing sometime...

fitnessdiva_tea

Congrats on conquering your fears and believing in yourself

gilliebee63

Love this. Thanks for sharing it.

MargueriteMuguet

Hi! I had a moment there because I have learnt this same lesson. On monday I ran a 10km in a parc nearby.
I've been delaying this goal of mine because I though I was going ot do it better when I lost a couple of kilos. And this excuse got to me (in a lot of areas in my life too, like you said).

But I did it now, whatever my size, weight etc. No excuses. i knew I was in shape and had the time, so I went and freaking did it! I felt so good afterwards.

It's great to read you have picked up something you love so much. I wish you a lot of good on your journey!!!

Gena_Beana

Thank you for sharing this, it is so inspiring! It is so real to me, I've let my weight hold me back and drive me into a very dark place for many, many years. I am so glad I had the courage to step out of my 'comfort' zone and take back my life!!!!

jenniejoy07

congrats! The mental game is huge!! I recently started running after having a huge mental block. The first 3-4 times I went running I repeated to myself over and over again while running "it's all mental, it's all mental, I can do this, it's all mental, it's all mental".

epd17

Hey everyone thanks for the love! I'm glad this post was able to inspire others! Keep up the good fight! We are worth it

tmove2015

Thanks for sharing! I totally know what you mean. I ran track/xc all through my youth, high school and some college. Then I stopped for various reasons, gained a lot of weight and thought I could never run again, but last summer I just said STOP giving yourself excuses and since then I've ran 5k's and working on more! WE can do this!!!

binglebandit

What a great milestone! This reminds me of when I was in college. I was out of shape and heavy, and I never played sports, but I loved ultimate frisbee. I tried to join a club for it, thinking it would be casual, only to find out it was all a bunch of wonderful soccer players who also wanted to play frisbee and was way too intense for me. I went to one meeting and chickened out. However, every single girl there was super nice and encouraging, and I could tell they really wanted me to stay and keep trying. Unfortunately I was still recovering from a leg injury and knew I couldn't keep up with the bad leg and being out of shape combined. It's great though how encouraging a lot of people can be. I always thought people who played sports would judge me, but it seems as if the love of the sport helps them wanna share it with others (haha not in high school P.E. though). Anyways, I hope you go back and have a great time with everyone. I kind of wish I'd gone back myself, but I know it wouldn't have worked out at the time. Maybe I could look for another club in the future. Your post has been really encouraging.

happygalah

Great inspiring post!!!

EnglishCanadian

So, soooooooo good! Really glad you enjoyed it - I know that sick feeling in your stomach when you're out of your comfort zone. Bleurgh - but isn't it just amazing when you push through.