Why do I think so much... I need your help/advise

activefatgirl

Some people feel ashamed, guilty, or worthless after eating something that is not considered unhealthy, or that is not on their "diet" plan. Its been my life with my sister and mom always feeling guilty after every bite they ate. I have never looked back after eating something that was "wrong" because I believe I made that decision to eat it, no one forced it in my mouth and made me swallow it. I did it all on my own. And truth be told I enjoyed every bite !!

But… I am one to think too much of what others (friends and family) could be thinking of me.... I don't really care what stranger think... Oh that fat girl shouldn't be eating burgers and fries (screw them, who are they to judge me! )

When it comes to family and friends I feel like I am being watched, judged or something I can't explain it… For example, If I don't order lunch on a Friday at work, or if I do order and I get half of what I would normally get or something on the healthier side, or if I am out with some friends and we end up eating out and I order something I normally wouldn't… OMG what is going through their mind! Probably…. Oh ya she's on another diet today, tomorrow she will be off of it ... no surprise there."

Last weekend I was at a fair for 2 full days with a good friend. On day 1 she had fries and gravy her choice, I promised myself I wouldn't give in to it, and I didn't. Unfortunately by day 2 my thinking started and I was eating the fries and gravy with her because of what she could be thinking about me. Don't get me wrong we are really good friends and I know she wouldn't care what I was eating.... but my mind thinking starts and I can't turn it off. I know in my heart she doesn’t care what I eat, and will support any weight loss efforts and I am not going to stop being her friend or stop going out with her because of food choices and my decision to lose weight.

I just would like to control/turn off my thoughts and do what is best for me, and stop thinking about what others could or could not be thinking about me...

Hjuwer

I think we all would like not to care what others think, but we still do. It's just how human nature is.
I heard a lot about this self-acceptance thing in the past, and though it is bull**** , since everyone loves themselves, only a few deranged ones that might be on the far end of the human "normal" way of thinking could hate themselves. Basically I always had the idea that this self love comes naturally.


Until recently I started thinking about it, do I really accept myself? If I do, why would I care what others think?
I was going deeper with this, and I realized a feel a lot of guilt, and also feel annoyed by other peoples comments, if they are not constructive. I think this is not a simple process, but you need to practice it to become part of you, find the original trigger and than reprogram it to work for you.


Basically what I think it's very much the key to "happiness" or to stay calm and balanced to is be able to recognize what you really feel, maybe you think you accepted yourself, but why would you care what others think if you knew you were absolutely right about your decision?
Be brave and go for what you decided, try to do it a couple of times with ignoring whatever you think others might be thinking about you,
and by practicing it will become your nature to not get influenced by what others might think.

Also especially if it's your friend, ask them to support you with your decisions, and maybe it will turn out that they weren't even thinking anything "bad" about you!


I read this once:

"What other people think of you is none of your business!"

After all, you can't please them all!
I hope this helps a bit!

cwolfman13

GormanGhaste

I think that when I start wondering what other people think, it's just my excuse to engage in some negative self-talk.

Just remember that we are all kinder to other people than we are to ourselves. Be kind to yourself too.