Unhealthy habits... PLEASE HELP

sunjungyum4101

I think I may be developing very unhealthy habits. My parents and friends are afraid I'm developing an ED, and I thought I was under control, but I'm not even sure anymore. At my age/height/weight/fitness level, I should be getting 1800~ calories per day. But, when I started using MyFitnessPal, the suggested number (weight loss) was 1200 per day. My "healthy journey" began with me developing a mindset that 1200 was normal. Now, I know it isnt. I reach for 1600 per day, but usually don't go over 1400. I wanted to fix my lifestyle and consume more calories, and I thought I could do it. But, just SEEING high calorie labels and foods makes my heart hurt. Knowing that my mom will force me to eat them makes me break down. I want to hear something that will make me want to consume more calories, but nothing is very convincing. My mind revolves around a mindset that my meals should be 300-400 calories each, and I should have a snack less 100-200 calories per day. I'm aware that it won't get me to 1800 per day, but seeing the numbers "500" or god forbid (but my mother forces me) "600" hurts me so much. I just went downstairs to look at some of the groceries, and she had bought sirloin. I obviously wouldn't eat all 12 oz of the piece, but that piece all together was 700~ calories. At that moment I sat down and almost cried. I want to fix myself, but I don't know what I should be aiming for. I don't know how many calories should be in a meal, and I don't know how to convince myself that malnutrition is bad. I honestly just want to have a better body.

AJ_G

My advice would be that you need to stop looking at food and calories as something that you're afraid of and start looking at them as something that fuels you. If you're not very active, I suggest you find something that you enjoy, whether it be running, cycling, weight lifting, playing a sport, etc, and look at your calorie intake as fueling performance in that activity. That can go a long way to changing your habits.

missiontofitness

Hello fellow MA resident!

First, you should focus on talking to a professional who can help you work on these food issues. Food shouldn't make you want to cry. You should want to eat it because eating enough calories per day is good for you, and you should be able to enjoy what you are consuming. It sounds like your family is trying to be supportive; don't push away from them during this time, and take advantage of them. See if mom can get involved with your discussion with a professional as well, so you can all work together to beat this. It's good you're hitting goals, but you shouldn't be stressed beyond belief to eat more than a finite amount of calories per meal.

There is too much good food in Chinatown, Prudential, and Allston to be stressed about calories per meal. I wish you luck.

LKArgh

Talk to your mother and get an appointment with a therapist. You need to stop counting calories and get off this site completely. It is a great step you acknowledge something is wrong.

rachelecosse

This website/app is great for people who struggle to find motivation to diet because of the way that it is gameified to keep users engaged, both with the app and with weight-loss itself. Unfortunately, because of this MyFitnessPal is NOT a good tool for people who are over-motivated, anxious or dealing with an eating disorder, which I think is pretty clear includes you. It's ok if the app is just a bad fit for you right now.

Talking to someone about how you're feeling could really help. Most schools/colleges/universities have free counselling, where you can talk to a neutral person in confidence about how you're feeling and what you want. There are also eating disorder charities such as BEAT where you can talk to other people with similar problems and start to unspin your feelings, and you can also get referred to a psychologist or a counsellor through your GP.

I understand that it can be hard to talk about the things that make you feel bad about yourself, but I think you know that you're hurting yourself right now, and that starting to work on the problem before you damage your health permanently is the best way forward.

punkrockgoth

Can I hug you? *hugs*

That was definitely me a few years ago. I refused to hang out with friends because I knew they would want to go out for food and it would not fit into my 1500/day calorie goal. I had so much anxiety about my meals and my calorie counts. And it felt so good to get compliments from people about how much weight I was losing.

I ended up getting really sick and then seeking help for my anxiety and obsessive thoughts. I took a couple years off, did some research, worked on healthy habits.

I am now back, with more realistic goals. Some days I don't measure my food. Some days, I go over my calorie goal. Some days I go WAY over my calorie goal. Some days I don't log. Doing these things at least some of the time helps me to break loose before I start getting too obsessive and willing to "win at any cost".

I hope you find a way to cope.

aBlueCrayon

I really think you should listen to the above posts and seek some professional help. They'd know best what steps you should take, so let your mother know that's what you'd like to do! It sounds like she's supportive and trying her best to help you.

chachie_74

Lots of very practical advice already, most importantly seeking some professional help. I would also suggest possibly changing the perspective of your goal. Instead of wanting a better body, strive for better health. Happy and healthy is what makes you beautiful.